How to Stay Human

As 2025 comes to a close, Kyle and Tori invite you into a more human way to plan your next chapter—one that honors your energy, your nervous system, and the natural rhythm of life.
We reflect on the state of humanity in 2025—polarization, system breakdowns, and the quiet revolution of people choosing a more conscious path. Then we shift into a practical framework for 2026: why New Year’s resolutions often fail, how winter is meant for reflection, and how to create goals that are simple, measurable, meaningful, and aligned with your inner authority.
Kyle shares the SMART goal framework, breaks goal-setting into personal vs. professional, and maps personal goals through the seven energetic bodies (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, primal, social, financial) plus life logistics. Tori grounds the conversation with the core reminder: don’t follow the crowd—follow your truth, your body, and your season of life.
If you’ve been forcing goals that don’t stick, this episode will give you a new map.
What You’ll Learn
How to reflect on 2025 using themes (integration, not pressure)
Why winter is for slowness, stillness, and intention-setting
How to create SMART goals that you can actually sustain
The seven energetic bodies goal framework (plus life logistics)
How to balance maintenance and experimentation
Why inner authority matters more than dogma
How to stop chasing someone else’s life and build your own
Sponsor: Anywhere Clinic
This episode is sponsored by Anywhere Clinic, a mental health clinic with a holistic approach to care, including psychiatric care, medication management, ketamine therapy, TMS, talk therapy, and family counseling.
Learn more / book a consult:  www.anywhereclinic.com/tori-gordon
Links
Substack: torigordon.substack.com
Instagram: @howtostayhumanpod @thetorigordon @kyleaherron
Website: torigordon.com

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Relationship agreements only work if you actually use them. In this episode, Tori Gordon and Kyle Herron share how to implement relationship agreements in real life: how to recognize when you’re drifting, how to regulate before you react, and how to build weekly check-ins that keep love practical, safe, and alive.
In this episode, you’ll learn how to:
Use relationship agreements as guardrails (like bowling bumpers) to stay aligned with your shared vision
Spot the signs you’re drifting (in your body, mood, tension, and motivation)
Practice the “Sacred Pause” before reacting when you’re dysregulated
Create emotional safety so vulnerability becomes a source of trust (and attraction)
Use weekly check-in questions to prevent resentment and strengthen connection
Track “ouchies” and wins so the little stuff doesn’t become the big stuff
Ask for support in a way that improves efficiency, intimacy, and teamwork
Bring play back into your partnership (without needing a “reason”)
Key Concepts & Frameworks
Agreements as guardrails: A living manual for repair, regulation, and alignment
The Sacred Pause: Pause → regulate → return to the agreement → choose your next step
Ouchies: Naming small hurts before they stack into resentment
Weekly rhythm: A light structure that becomes more fluid over time
Mutual accountability: Repair is reciprocal, not one person “doing the work”
Weekly Check-In Questions (steal these)
What did I do this week that you loved?
How could I have loved you better this week?
Do you have any “ouchies” we need to bring presence to?
What support do you need from me in the coming days?
What would be fun for you this week?
Where are we aligned with our shared vision right now?
Where are we drifting? What agreement isn’t being honored?
What responsibility am I taking for how I show up this week?
Resources
Substack: Relationship agreements + check-in questions (paid subscribers get the full formats Tori & Kyle use): https://torigordon.substack.com
Get our Relationship Agreements Starter Pack: https://torigordon.gumroad.com/l/ikkcp
Instagram: @howtostayhumanpod | @thetorigordon
If you loved this episode:
Send it to your partner or best friend, and try one question together tonight.
Sponsor: Anywhere Clinic
This episode is sponsored by Anywhere Clinic—your online destination for high-quality mental health and hormone optimization.
Whether you're exploring ketamine therapy, need psychiatric medication management, or want ongoing support from experienced clinicians, Anywhere Clinic brings expert care to you—wherever you are.
💻 Book your first appointment or explore holistic mental health options now at:
anywhereclinic.com/tori-gordon

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If you have ever wondered how healthy, conscious couples stay connected through conflict, grow without outgrowing each other, and build relationships that feel safe, passionate, and deeply alive, this episode is for you.
In one of the most intimate and practical conversations yet, Tori and Kyle pull back the curtain on the relationship agreements they created at the very beginning of their partnership — the same agreements that now serve as the foundation for their love, their communication, their emotional safety, and their shared vision for the future.
These are not rules. They are living, breathing commitments that help two sovereign individuals build a partnership rooted in truth, devotion, stability, and integrity.
Whether you are single, dating, or in a long-term relationship, this episode offers a framework for how to create a relationship that does not rely on guessing, hoping, and wishing — but instead is built intentionally, consciously, and collaboratively.
You will walk away with a deeper understanding of:
Why every relationship needs its own “operating system”
How to create emotional safety and navigate conflict with clarity and compassion
The power of nervous system regulation and timing in your communication
Why openness, truth, and mutual understanding are pillars of intimacy
How to stop keeping score and create a partnership that feels like team, not competition
How shared vision, polarity, and sovereignty fuel long-term love
What it looks like to choose each other over and over again
This is a grounded, honest, spiritually rich conversation about love as a path of awakening — and partnership as a sacred container for growth.
This Episode Is For You If…
You want a conscious, mature, emotionally safe relationship
You’re calling in a partner and want to do it intentionally
You’re already partnered but want more stability, clarity, and connection
You want tools for communication, nervous system regulation, or conflict repair
You love hearing real, honest conversations about what it takes to build lasting love
You’re tired of performing partnership and ready to practice partnership
Episode Highlights
Why couples need written agreements (not just unspoken expectations)
How to build your relationship like you build your business: with intention and clarity
The difference between values and virtues — and why both matter
What it means to create a relationship “container” and why it’s essential
Regulation: the #1 building block for connection, intimacy, and repair
The 5 regulation agreements Tori and Kyle use every day
How to navigate conflict without collapsing or attacking
Why timing matters more than you think
The “heard, held, or helped” framework
How to stop making your partner the enemy
The truth about polarity — and why so many modern relationships lose it
The power of shared vision and co-creating a future
Sponsor: Anywhere Clinic
Your mental health matters. Your nervous system matters. Your wholeness matters.
This episode is sponsored by Anywhere Clinic — the online psychiatric and mental health care team Tori has personally worked with for years. Whether you are exploring ketamine therapy, need medication management, or want long-term support, they offer compassionate, expert help from wherever you are.
Book your appointment at:
👉 www.anywhereclinic.com/tori-gordon
Timestamps
00:00 — Welcome, intention, and why relationship agreements matter
03:45 — Treating your relationship like a business (in the best way)
07:10 — How unspoken expectations sabotage intimacy
12:00 — Values vs. virtues and the foundation of partnership
17:40 — Openness, truth, and what Tori needs to feel loved
25:00 — Why emotional transparency requires safety
30:20 — Regulation: the first pillar of conscious partnership
37:55 — The 5 regulation agreements
45:30 — Timing, bandwidth, and energy awareness
53:00 — Communication, emotional safety, and repair
1:00:00 — Mutually balanced growth and ending scorekeeping
1:10:00 — Love, polarity, and partnership
1:18:00 — Shared vision and co-creating your future
1:30:00 — Choosing each other again and again
1:34:00 — Closing reflections and part two preview
To continue your journey with the concepts from this episode, we have created The Relationship Agreements Starter Kit. This is a practical, grounded toolkit for building a partnership rooted in clarity, connection, and love. It includes a translated version of our own agreements, a fill-in-the-blank template, and a step-by-step framework for creating and integrating your own. You can find it here: https://torigordon.gumroad.com/l/ikkcp

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In this episode of How to Stay Human, Tori and Kyle open a conversation that sits at the core of personal transformation — the difference between values and virtues, and why virtues are the true compass of the soul.
Values are often inherited… taught… or projected onto us by culture, religion, or institutions.
But virtues?
Virtues are embodied.
They live in the body, in the heart, in the soul. They are the qualities of your essence — courage, honesty, devotion, awe, patience, truthfulness, creativity, trust, and more.
Together, Tori and Kyle walk through:
Why values often feel rigid, performative, or socially prescribed
Why virtues are alive, adaptive, and deeply personal
How virtues help you return to yourself during seasons of uncertainty
How to identify your “home frequency”
How to map your own virtue design (your soul’s operating system)
What underdeveloped virtues are trying to teach you
How virtues show up inside partnership and mirror your growth
Why your virtues shape your reputation, impact, and spiritual expression
How to use virtues as a framework for healing, clarity, and self-leadership
This is a foundational episode — one that will change the way you understand yourself, your relationships, and the path you’re walking.
If you’re feeling lost, unsure, or in transition… this episode will bring you home.
 
KEY TOPICS
Virtues vs. values
Home frequency
Virtue mapping
Embodiment vs. performance
Soul-led decision making
Devotion vs. attachment
Trust, surrender, faith
Assertiveness, detachment, honesty
How virtues support relationships
How to stay grounded during uncertainty
 
TIMESTAMPS 
0:00 — Welcome to Just Push Record Studios (Austin episode 2)
1:30 — Why this conversation is timely + alive
3:00 — The limitations of socially prescribed values
7:20 — Values vs. virtue signaling
9:30 — What virtues actually are (mystical, philosophical, psychological)
11:30 — Virtues as the language of your light
14:30 — Success vs. excellence (a major reframe)
17:00 — Your inherent worth and divine nature
18:50 — Values as performance vs. virtues as embodiment
20:45 — Innovation vs. creativity (doing vs. being)
22:30 — Attachment vs. devotion
25:45 — The Virtues Project + how to work with the cards
29:40 — Mapping your virtues + identifying your core essence
34:20 — Tori’s core virtue: Truth
36:00 — Virtue clusters in relationships & partnership mirrors
39:45 — Kyle’s hardest virtue: Assertiveness
42:40 — Detachment, trust, surrender
47:00 — When you feel lost, virtues bring you home
49:30 — How to navigate uncertainty using virtues
51:20 — Using virtues to solve problems & make decisions
53:00 — Appreciating virtues in others as a spiritual practice
54:30 — Final reflections + an invitation to choose a virtue this week
 
This episode is sponsored by Anywhere Clinic — a modern mental health and neuroscience clinic offering psychiatric care, ketamine therapy, TMS, and holistic support for anxiety, depression, trauma, burnout, and more.
Their team blends cutting-edge science with compassionate, human-centered care to help you heal at the root and reclaim your clarity, calm, and confidence.
Learn more or book a consultation at:
👉 www.anywhereclinic.com/tori-gordon

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This is the story behind the biggest leap of our lives.
In this new episode of How to Stay Human, Tori and Kyle open up about the decision to leave Las Vegas, uproot their entire lives, and begin again in Austin — not from fear, not from pressure, but from alignment, trust, and truth.
This episode is an intimate look at what it means to follow your soul when the path is unclear, the timing feels inconvenient, and the stakes are high.
It’s about endings done well, beginnings done bravely, and learning to trust the signs that guide you into your next chapter.
We explore how to choose calling over comfort, how to maintain sovereignty inside relationship, how to honor the seasons of your life, and why true partnership never asks you to abandon yourself.
This is a conversation about alignment, courage, devotion, and the unknown — and what becomes possible when you say yes before you have all the answers.
What We Cover
The fear and excitement of starting over in a new city
Why all meaningful change begins with a single yes
How to know when a season of your life is complete
Why endings deserve intention, closure, and respect
How to live from calling rather than comfort
The difference between commitment and devotion
How to stay sovereign inside relationship
What it means to follow signs instead of logic
Why resistance to change creates suffering
Asking the question: What do you want to be known for in this chapter?
This Episode Is For You If:
You feel a life change coming, but you’re afraid to act
You’re in a season of uncertainty, transition, or initiation
You want to learn how to hear and trust your intuition
You’re craving deeper alignment and more honesty with yourself
You’re exploring partnership, sovereignty, and conscious relating
You need permission to end a chapter — or begin one
Sponsor: Anywhere Clinic
This episode is sponsored by Anywhere Clinic, your online destination for evidence-based mental health care.
Whether you're exploring ketamine therapy, need psychiatric medication support, or want to work with a clinician who sees your whole person, Anywhere Clinic brings high-quality care directly to you.
💻 Learn more or book your appointment:
anywhereclinic.com/tori
Timestamps
00:00 — Welcome to Austin: the start of a new chapter
02:00 — The invitation of change and the discomfort of the unknown
04:30 — Saying yes even when the path isn’t clear
07:00 — The first nudge toward Austin (and why it took years)
10:00 — Spiritual awakenings, internal shifts, and following the call
14:00 — Signs, synchronicities, and trusting the higher self
17:00 — Ending a marriage, beginning a pilgrimage
20:00 — Listening to your soul vs. abandoning yourself
24:00 — Kyle’s dark-night-of-the-soul and major life reset
29:00 — Surrendering control and learning to swim with life
34:00 — The moment their paths reconnected
38:00 — Devotion vs. compliance in conscious partnership
42:00 — Why safety and sovereignty matter before big decisions
47:00 — Ending well: how to close a chapter with integrity
52:00 — Starting a new chapter without leaking energy
55:00 — What they each hope to be known for in Austin
58:00 — Final reflections: movement over fear, alignment over certainty

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