How to Stay Human

Relationship agreements only work if you actually use them. In this episode, Tori Gordon and Kyle Herron share how to implement relationship agreements in real life: how to recognize when you’re drifting, how to regulate before you react, and how to build weekly check-ins that keep love practical, safe, and alive.In this episode, you’ll learn how to:Use relationship agreements as guardrails (like bowling bumpers) to stay aligned with your shared visionSpot the signs you’re drifting (in your body, mood, tension, and motivation)Practice the “Sacred Pause” before reacting when you’re dysregulatedCreate emotional safety so vulnerability becomes a source of trust (and attraction)Use weekly check-in questions to prevent resentment and strengthen connectionTrack “ouchies” and wins so the little stuff doesn’t become the big stuffAsk for support in a way that improves efficiency, intimacy, and teamworkBring play back into your partnership (without needing a “reason”)Key Concepts & FrameworksAgreements as guardrails: A living manual for repair, regulation, and alignmentThe Sacred Pause: Pause → regulate → return to the agreement → choose your next stepOuchies: Naming small hurts before they stack into resentmentWeekly rhythm: A light structure that becomes more fluid over timeMutual accountability: Repair is reciprocal, not one person “doing the work”Weekly Check-In Questions (steal these)What did I do this week that you loved?How could I have loved you better this week?Do you have any “ouchies” we need to bring presence to?What support do you need from me in the coming days?What would be fun for you this week?Where are we aligned with our shared vision right now?Where are we drifting? What agreement isn’t being honored?What responsibility am I taking for how I show up this week?ResourcesSubstack: Relationship agreements + check-in questions (paid subscribers get the full formats Tori & Kyle use): https://torigordon.substack.comGet our Relationship Agreements Starter Pack: https://torigordon.gumroad.com/l/ikkcpInstagram: @howtostayhumanpod | @thetorigordonIf you loved this episode:Send it to your partner or best friend, and try one question together tonight.Sponsor: Anywhere ClinicThis episode is sponsored by Anywhere Clinic—your online destination for high-quality mental health and hormone optimization.Whether you're exploring ketamine therapy, need psychiatric medication management, or want ongoing support from experienced clinicians, Anywhere Clinic brings expert care to you—wherever you are.💻 Book your first appointment or explore holistic mental health options now at:anywhereclinic.com/tori-gordon Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

If you have ever wondered how healthy, conscious couples stay connected through conflict, grow without outgrowing each other, and build relationships that feel safe, passionate, and deeply alive, this episode is for you.In one of the most intimate and practical conversations yet, Tori and Kyle pull back the curtain on the relationship agreements they created at the very beginning of their partnership — the same agreements that now serve as the foundation for their love, their communication, their emotional safety, and their shared vision for the future.These are not rules. They are living, breathing commitments that help two sovereign individuals build a partnership rooted in truth, devotion, stability, and integrity.Whether you are single, dating, or in a long-term relationship, this episode offers a framework for how to create a relationship that does not rely on guessing, hoping, and wishing — but instead is built intentionally, consciously, and collaboratively.You will walk away with a deeper understanding of:Why every relationship needs its own “operating system”How to create emotional safety and navigate conflict with clarity and compassionThe power of nervous system regulation and timing in your communicationWhy openness, truth, and mutual understanding are pillars of intimacyHow to stop keeping score and create a partnership that feels like team, not competitionHow shared vision, polarity, and sovereignty fuel long-term loveWhat it looks like to choose each other over and over againThis is a grounded, honest, spiritually rich conversation about love as a path of awakening — and partnership as a sacred container for growth.This Episode Is For You If…You want a conscious, mature, emotionally safe relationshipYou’re calling in a partner and want to do it intentionallyYou’re already partnered but want more stability, clarity, and connectionYou want tools for communication, nervous system regulation, or conflict repairYou love hearing real, honest conversations about what it takes to build lasting loveYou’re tired of performing partnership and ready to practice partnershipEpisode HighlightsWhy couples need written agreements (not just unspoken expectations)How to build your relationship like you build your business: with intention and clarityThe difference between values and virtues — and why both matterWhat it means to create a relationship “container” and why it’s essentialRegulation: the #1 building block for connection, intimacy, and repairThe 5 regulation agreements Tori and Kyle use every dayHow to navigate conflict without collapsing or attackingWhy timing matters more than you thinkThe “heard, held, or helped” frameworkHow to stop making your partner the enemyThe truth about polarity — and why so many modern relationships lose itThe power of shared vision and co-creating a futureSponsor: Anywhere ClinicYour mental health matters. Your nervous system matters. Your wholeness matters.This episode is sponsored by Anywhere Clinic — the online psychiatric and mental health care team Tori has personally worked with for years. Whether you are exploring ketamine therapy, need medication management, or want long-term support, they offer compassionate, expert help from wherever you are.Book your appointment at:👉 www.anywhereclinic.com/tori-gordonTimestamps00:00 — Welcome, intention, and why relationship agreements matter03:45 — Treating your relationship like a business (in the best way)07:10 — How unspoken expectations sabotage intimacy12:00 — Values vs. virtues and the foundation of partnership17:40 — Openness, truth, and what Tori needs to feel loved25:00 — Why emotional transparency requires safety30:20 — Regulation: the first pillar of conscious partnership37:55 — The 5 regulation agreements45:30 — Timing, bandwidth, and energy awareness53:00 — Communication, emotional safety, and repair1:00:00 — Mutually balanced growth and ending scorekeeping1:10:00 — Love, polarity, and partnership1:18:00 — Shared vision and co-creating your future1:30:00 — Choosing each other again and again1:34:00 — Closing reflections and part two previewTo continue your journey with the concepts from this episode, we have created The Relationship Agreements Starter Kit. This is a practical, grounded toolkit for building a partnership rooted in clarity, connection, and love. It includes a translated version of our own agreements, a fill-in-the-blank template, and a step-by-step framework for creating and integrating your own. You can find it here: https://torigordon.gumroad.com/l/ikkcp Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode of How to Stay Human, Tori and Kyle open a conversation that sits at the core of personal transformation — the difference between values and virtues, and why virtues are the true compass of the soul.Values are often inherited… taught… or projected onto us by culture, religion, or institutions.But virtues?Virtues are embodied.They live in the body, in the heart, in the soul. They are the qualities of your essence — courage, honesty, devotion, awe, patience, truthfulness, creativity, trust, and more.Together, Tori and Kyle walk through:Why values often feel rigid, performative, or socially prescribedWhy virtues are alive, adaptive, and deeply personalHow virtues help you return to yourself during seasons of uncertaintyHow to identify your “home frequency”How to map your own virtue design (your soul’s operating system)What underdeveloped virtues are trying to teach youHow virtues show up inside partnership and mirror your growthWhy your virtues shape your reputation, impact, and spiritual expressionHow to use virtues as a framework for healing, clarity, and self-leadershipThis is a foundational episode — one that will change the way you understand yourself, your relationships, and the path you’re walking.If you’re feeling lost, unsure, or in transition… this episode will bring you home. KEY TOPICSVirtues vs. valuesHome frequencyVirtue mappingEmbodiment vs. performanceSoul-led decision makingDevotion vs. attachmentTrust, surrender, faithAssertiveness, detachment, honestyHow virtues support relationshipsHow to stay grounded during uncertainty TIMESTAMPS 0:00 — Welcome to Just Push Record Studios (Austin episode 2)1:30 — Why this conversation is timely + alive3:00 — The limitations of socially prescribed values7:20 — Values vs. virtue signaling9:30 — What virtues actually are (mystical, philosophical, psychological)11:30 — Virtues as the language of your light14:30 — Success vs. excellence (a major reframe)17:00 — Your inherent worth and divine nature18:50 — Values as performance vs. virtues as embodiment20:45 — Innovation vs. creativity (doing vs. being)22:30 — Attachment vs. devotion25:45 — The Virtues Project + how to work with the cards29:40 — Mapping your virtues + identifying your core essence34:20 — Tori’s core virtue: Truth36:00 — Virtue clusters in relationships & partnership mirrors39:45 — Kyle’s hardest virtue: Assertiveness42:40 — Detachment, trust, surrender47:00 — When you feel lost, virtues bring you home49:30 — How to navigate uncertainty using virtues51:20 — Using virtues to solve problems & make decisions53:00 — Appreciating virtues in others as a spiritual practice54:30 — Final reflections + an invitation to choose a virtue this week This episode is sponsored by Anywhere Clinic — a modern mental health and neuroscience clinic offering psychiatric care, ketamine therapy, TMS, and holistic support for anxiety, depression, trauma, burnout, and more.Their team blends cutting-edge science with compassionate, human-centered care to help you heal at the root and reclaim your clarity, calm, and confidence.Learn more or book a consultation at:👉 www.anywhereclinic.com/tori-gordon Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

This is the story behind the biggest leap of our lives.In this new episode of How to Stay Human, Tori and Kyle open up about the decision to leave Las Vegas, uproot their entire lives, and begin again in Austin — not from fear, not from pressure, but from alignment, trust, and truth.This episode is an intimate look at what it means to follow your soul when the path is unclear, the timing feels inconvenient, and the stakes are high.It’s about endings done well, beginnings done bravely, and learning to trust the signs that guide you into your next chapter.We explore how to choose calling over comfort, how to maintain sovereignty inside relationship, how to honor the seasons of your life, and why true partnership never asks you to abandon yourself.This is a conversation about alignment, courage, devotion, and the unknown — and what becomes possible when you say yes before you have all the answers.What We CoverThe fear and excitement of starting over in a new cityWhy all meaningful change begins with a single yesHow to know when a season of your life is completeWhy endings deserve intention, closure, and respectHow to live from calling rather than comfortThe difference between commitment and devotionHow to stay sovereign inside relationshipWhat it means to follow signs instead of logicWhy resistance to change creates sufferingAsking the question: What do you want to be known for in this chapter?This Episode Is For You If:You feel a life change coming, but you’re afraid to actYou’re in a season of uncertainty, transition, or initiationYou want to learn how to hear and trust your intuitionYou’re craving deeper alignment and more honesty with yourselfYou’re exploring partnership, sovereignty, and conscious relatingYou need permission to end a chapter — or begin oneSponsor: Anywhere ClinicThis episode is sponsored by Anywhere Clinic, your online destination for evidence-based mental health care.Whether you're exploring ketamine therapy, need psychiatric medication support, or want to work with a clinician who sees your whole person, Anywhere Clinic brings high-quality care directly to you.💻 Learn more or book your appointment:anywhereclinic.com/toriTimestamps00:00 — Welcome to Austin: the start of a new chapter02:00 — The invitation of change and the discomfort of the unknown04:30 — Saying yes even when the path isn’t clear07:00 — The first nudge toward Austin (and why it took years)10:00 — Spiritual awakenings, internal shifts, and following the call14:00 — Signs, synchronicities, and trusting the higher self17:00 — Ending a marriage, beginning a pilgrimage20:00 — Listening to your soul vs. abandoning yourself24:00 — Kyle’s dark-night-of-the-soul and major life reset29:00 — Surrendering control and learning to swim with life34:00 — The moment their paths reconnected38:00 — Devotion vs. compliance in conscious partnership42:00 — Why safety and sovereignty matter before big decisions47:00 — Ending well: how to close a chapter with integrity52:00 — Starting a new chapter without leaking energy55:00 — What they each hope to be known for in Austin58:00 — Final reflections: movement over fear, alignment over certainty Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What if health wasn’t just physical—but a full-spectrum experience of being alive?In this continuation of The Seven Energetic Bodies, Tori and Kyle return to complete the holistic framework that’s shaped how they live, love, and lead. In Part II, they explore the social, financial, primal, and spiritual bodies—the energetic dimensions that connect us to belonging, abundance, vitality, and divine purpose.This is a grounded, heartfelt conversation about how to build real balance in a world that glorifies hustle, isolation, and survival. Through personal stories, practical frameworks, and spiritual insight, they reveal what it means to live in alignment—body, mind, and soul. What We CoverThe social body: building conscious relationships rooted in truth and boundariesThe financial body: transforming your relationship with money and self-worthThe primal body: reconnecting to nature, movement, and instinctThe spiritual body: deepening your connection to the divineWhy balance begins with awarenessHow avoidance, neglect, and disconnection show up across all seven bodiesThe importance of co-elevation and growing with your communityHow money mirrors your internal state of value and trustPractices to return to your primal and spiritual intelligenceWhy awareness—not perfection—is the first step toward wholenessThis Episode Is For You If:You feel off balance or out of rhythm in your body or relationshipsYou’re craving deeper connection—to yourself, others, and SpiritYou’ve been avoiding your finances or feel disempowered with moneyYou sense that your modern life has disconnected you from natureYou want to live with more purpose, stability, and spiritual integrity🧬 Sponsor: Anywhere ClinicThis episode is sponsored by Anywhere Clinic—your online destination for high-quality mental health and hormone optimization.Whether you're exploring ketamine therapy, need psychiatric medication management, or want ongoing support from experienced clinicians, Anywhere Clinic brings expert care to you—wherever you are.💻 Book your first appointment or explore holistic mental health options now at:anywhereclinic.com/tori-gordonTimestamps00:00 – Welcome back to Part II: Expanding into wholeness03:00 – The social body and the power of boundaries08:00 – Conscious relationships and energy management15:00 – How your community reflects your identity20:00 – The financial body: money as energy and mirror27:00 – Awareness, avoidance, and taking responsibility32:00 – Building systems for financial stability and sovereignty40:00 – The primal body: returning to instinct and nature46:00 – The cost of modern disconnection and overstimulation51:00 – The spiritual body: rediscovering inspiration and divine guidance56:00 – Integration and daily awareness practices59:00 – Closing: The journey of self-mastery is infinite Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.