
166 - How to Handle Anger in Your Relationship
03/1/2026 | 10 mins.
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Have you ever gone to bed replaying an argument over and over in your mind, wishing you’d said things differently, wishing you’d stayed calmer or wishing the damage hadn’t been done?If so, you’re not alone. And more importantly, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad partner or a bad person. It means something inside you is trying to tell you something, and learning how to listen to that signal can change everything.In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, host Alastair Duhs shares four practical, grounded strategies to help you handle anger in your relationship before it causes regret, distance or lasting damage. Rather than suppressing anger or blaming yourself, you’ll learn how to understand what’s really driving it, and how to respond in a calmer, more constructive way.Anger isn’t the real problem. Losing control of it is. And that’s something you can learn to change.What you’ll learn in this episodeWhy understanding your anger triggers is the first step to lasting changeHow poor communication quietly fuels resentment and emotional explosionsThe powerful link between stress and anger, and how to break itA simple mindset shift that helps couples stop fighting each other and start working togetherWhy anger is a signal, not a flaw — and how to respond to it differentlyWhy this mattersUnmanaged anger doesn’t just disappear on its own. Over time, it erodes trust, creates emotional distance and can turn even small disagreements into painful conflicts.The good news? When you understand what triggers your anger, learn how to communicate openly, manage stress and remember that you and your partner are on the same team, arguments lose their intensity and connection becomes possible again.These aren’t complicated techniques. They’re practical skills you can start using immediately.Key ideas from the episodeAnger often comes from feeling unheard, disrespected, or overwhelmed — not from the situation itselfRegular, safe conversations (like a Weekly Relationship Check-In) prevent resentment from buildingHigh stress lowers your ability to stay calm — managing stress is essential to controlling angerWhen couples stop trying to “win” arguments and start seeking understanding, everything changesReady to take the next step?If you want help applying these ideas to your own relationship, you have a few options:-Watch the free training on how to break the anger cycle-Book a free 30-minute Anger Assessment Call to talk through your situation-Learn more about The Complete Anger Management SystemYou’ll find all of these at angersecrets.com.

165 - The 60-Second Window That Could Save Your Relationship
27/12/2025 | 8 mins.
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.You're in the middle of an argument and you know where it's headed. But what if you could change the outcome before things spiral out of control?In this essential episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs reveals how to recognise the signs of escalating conflict and use simple, proven repair techniques to stop fights before they start and strengthen your relationship instead.Key Takeaways:-Every argument offers a choice: escalate the fight or repair the connection.-The first step to de-escalating conflict is recognising your own signs of rising anger.-Reminding yourself that the relationship matters more than “being right” helps calm tension.-Repair attempts, like a kind tone, humor, a break or physical affection can powerfully shift the dynamic.-Noticing and accepting your partner’s repair attempts builds trust and prevents emotional damage.Links referenced in this episode:angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger managementangersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Breaking The Anger Cycleangersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System

164 - Why Small Things Make You So Angry
20/12/2025 | 10 mins.
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.It’s often not the big things that make you angry. It’s the small stuff that hijacks your day. In this thoughtful episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs explores why seemingly minor annoyances can trigger such big reactions, and how learning to let go of them can radically improve your relationships, your mood and your life.Key Takeaways:-Small events like a comment or forgotten chore often trigger anger because of deeper emotional patterns.-Reacting in the heat of the moment usually leads to regret. Pausing first gives you power.-Asking, “Will this matter in a week or a year?” helps you gain perspective and avoid overreacting.-Practicing gratitude can rewire your brain to focus on what really matters, not petty irritations.-Recognising life’s fragility can shift your focus from frustration to compassion and connection.Links referenced in this episode:angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger managementangersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Breaking The Anger Cycleangersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System

163 - The Four Hidden Killers of Your Relationship
13/12/2025 | 12 mins.
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Most relationships don’t fall apart in one explosive moment. They unravel quietly through patterns we barely notice. In this eye-opening episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs reveals the four hidden killers that silently destroy relationships from the inside out. If your connection with your partner feels colder, more distant or just off, this episode might explain why, and what you can do about it.Key Takeaways:-Criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling are four of the most destructive behaviors in relationships.-These patterns often feel normal, but over time they erode trust, love and emotional safety.-Each “killer” has an antidote, like appreciation, responsibility or effective communication that can rebuild connection.-Anger often fuels these behaviors, making anger management a crucial step toward healthier relationships.-By learning to recognise and replace these patterns, you can stop the slow drift apart and bring warmth and closeness back into your relationship.Links referenced in this episode:angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger managementangersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Breaking The Anger Cycleangersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System

162 - Why Active Listening Could Save Your Relationship
06/12/2025 | 11 mins.
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Ever feel like you and your partner are speaking different languages, even when you're in the same room? In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs reveals why active listening is the missing link in most relationships, and how mastering it can bring you closer than ever before. If you’re tired of arguments that go nowhere, this episode offers a better way forward.Key Takeaways:-Active listening means being fully present, not planning your reply while your partner is still talking.-It’s not about winning the conversation; it’s about making your partner feel truly heard and understood.-Four core skills: Minimal encouragers, open-ended questions, reflecting and positive feedback can transform the way you communicate.-Simple changes in how you listen can open up emotional connection and reduce defensiveness.-Practicing these skills builds trust, de-escalates conflict and strengthens your relationship at its core.Links referenced in this episode:angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger managementangersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Breaking The Anger Cycleangersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System



Anger Secrets