Anger Secrets

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Have you ever had an argument that started over something small? The dishes, a tone of voice or being late, and somehow ended with both of you feeling hurt, defensive and completely misunderstood?
In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explains why most relationship conflict isn’t caused by big problems. It’s caused by small moments where listening breaks down, emotions rise and conversations spiral out of control before either person realises what’s happening.
You’ll learn three practical communication skills that actually work: helping you feel heard, express yourself clearly without aggression and stop everyday disagreements from turning into damaging arguments.
What you’ll learn in this episode:
Why good intentions still lead to communication breakdowns
The most common mistake people make when they think they’re “listening”
How to express yourself clearly without sounding aggressive or defensive
A simple structure for difficult conversations that reduces conflict
How to negotiate disagreements without damaging trust or respect

The three communication skills covered:
Active listening: Learning to understand before responding
Clear, non-aggressive expression: Saying what you mean without escalating conflict
Effective negotiation: Working together instead of against each other

Want help with this?
If communication in your relationship keeps breaking down, especially when emotions run high, support is available:
Watch the free training on breaking the anger cycle
Book a free 30-minute Anger Assessment Call
Learn more about The Complete Anger Management System

Visit angersecrets.com to get started.
When communication changes, relationships change with it.
And remember:
You can’t control other people — but you can control yourself.

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Have you ever gone from calm to furious in a matter of seconds, and only afterwards wondered, “Where did that come from?”
In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explains why anger rarely comes out of nowhere. Instead, it’s usually triggered by long-standing patterns that quietly shape how you react in relationships, at work and under stress.
You’ll learn what anger triggers really are, where they come from, and why recognising them early gives you the power to slow things down before anger takes control.
What you’ll learn in this episode:
What anger triggers are and why they feel automatic
Why small moments can activate intense emotional reactions
Common anger triggers, including feeling disrespected, criticised, or overwhelmed
How past experiences and stress fuel present-day anger
Why awareness is the first step to real anger control

Practical tools discussed:
Identifying your personal anger triggers through reflection
Using a diary or journal to spot patterns in your anger
Recognising early warning signs before anger escalates
Challenging unhelpful thoughts through cognitive reframing
When to seek professional support to speed up change

Want help with this?
If you want support identifying and managing your anger triggers:
Watch the free training on breaking the anger cycle
Book a free 30-minute Anger Assessment Call
Learn more about The Complete Anger Management System

Visit angersecrets.com to get started.
Once you can recognise your anger triggers, you’re no longer at their mercy.
And remember:
You can’t control other people, but you can control yourself.

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Is anger always a bad thing? Or are there times when feeling angry actually makes sense?
In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explains why anger itself isn’t the problem. The real damage happens when anger is either suppressed or expressed in ways that hurt relationships.
You’ll learn what healthy anger really looks like, how it differs from destructive anger and how to express anger in a way that protects trust, communication and emotional safety.
What you’ll learn in this episode
Why anger is a normal and necessary human emotion
The difference between healthy, assertive anger and destructive anger
How unhealthy anger damages trust and connection over time
Real-life examples of responding to anger at work and in relationships
Practical ways to express anger calmly, clearly, and respectfully

Key principles of healthy anger:
Healthy anger is expressed, not suppressed
It is assertive, not aggressive
It focuses on solutions rather than blame
It respects both your needs and the needs of others

Practical tips covered:
Pause before reacting and reflect on what’s really going on
Use “I” statements instead of blame or accusation
Focus on problem-solving rather than winning
Set clear, respectful boundaries
Practice forgiveness to avoid carrying resentment

Want help applying this?
If you’d like support learning how to express anger in healthier ways:
Watch the free training on breaking the anger cycle
Book a free 30-minute Anger Assessment Call
Learn more about The Complete Anger Management System

Visit angersecrets.com to get started.
Anger doesn’t need to be eliminated. It needs to be understood and used wisely.
And remember:
You can’t control other people, but you can control yourself.

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Why is it that one small comment can turn into a full-blown argument in some relationships, while in others, it barely causes a ripple?
In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explains why relationships don’t usually break down because of the big arguments. They unravel through hundreds of small moments that slowly erode trust, safety and goodwill.
You’ll learn a powerful concept that explains why the same words can feel harmless one day and deeply triggering the next, and how small, practical shifts can dramatically change the emotional climate of your relationship.
What you’ll learn in this episode:
Why small moments often matter more than big arguments
The difference between positive and negative sentiment override
How stress, resentment and anger quietly change how partners interpret each other
Why neutral comments can start to feel critical or attacking
Three simple shifts that help keep relationships emotionally safe and resilient

Three practical shifts discussed:
Let your partner influence you — resentment grows when one person feels unheard
Increase expressions of appreciation — positive interactions must be intentional
Turn towards each other — small responses build emotional safety over time

Want help applying this?
If you’re noticing your relationship feels tense, reactive or fragile, support is available:
Watch the free training on breaking the anger cycle
Book a free 30-minute Anger Assessment Call
Learn more about The Complete Anger Management System

Visit angersecrets.com to get started.
Relationships aren’t usually damaged in one big moment. They change direction through small choices made every day.
And remember:
You can’t control other people, but you can control yourself.

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
What do you do when the person you love no longer wants to be with you, and anger, fear or past behaviour has broken trust?
In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs speaks directly to those facing one of the hardest moments in a relationship: separation caused by anger issues. With honesty and realism, he explains why rebuilding trust takes time, and outlines a clear, step-by-step path forward for those who are genuinely committed to change.
This isn’t about quick fixes or saying the right words. It’s about doing the work that actually matters.
What you’ll learn in this episode
Why rebuilding a relationship after separation is possible, but cannot be rushed
The first thing you must address before any reconciliation can happen
Why taking full responsibility for the impact of your anger is essential
When (and when not) to re-establish contact with your partner
How to show real, lasting change in ways your partner can trust
What it takes to build a healthier relationship together moving forward

The five steps covered in the episode:
Deal with your anger, abuse, or violence issues
Accept responsibility for the impact your behaviour has had
Re-establish contact only when appropriate
Show consistent evidence of real change
Work on creating a different relationship together

Need support with this?
If you want help managing your anger or guidance on rebuilding your relationship:
Watch the free training on breaking the anger cycle
Book a free 30-minute Anger Assessment Call
Learn more about The Complete Anger Management System

All options are available at angersecrets.com.
Rebuilding a relationship after separation isn’t easy — but with commitment, patience and the right support, it can be done.
And remember:
You can’t control other people, but you can control yourself.