198 | the role of parents as co-regulators for autistic children with Lisa Candera
ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇In this episode, Dr. Tay emphasizes the importance of supporting parents in the autistic journey. Joined by Lisa Candera, a single mom and coach for parents of autistic children, they discuss the role of parents as primary co-regulators for their children as well as strategies for staying regulated, building self-trust, and supporting their children's behaviors. They also explore systemic issues, coping mechanisms, and the need for a holistic approach that includes listening to autistic voices. Despite the focus on parents, the core message underscores the importance of a balanced support system for the entire family unit.00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome00:28 Lisa Candera's Background and Passion00:45 The Role of Parents in Autism Support01:28 Podcast Introduction and Disclaimer02:30 Lisa's Journey as a Single Mom05:25 Challenges and Early Diagnosis06:48 Navigating Resources and Support Systems08:27 The Importance of Parental Education16:04 Understanding OCD and Autism22:59 Coaching and Self-Regulation28:21 Understanding the Distinctness of OCD28:30 The Complexity of Compulsions29:01 Parental Instincts and Fix-It Mode29:31 The Illogical Nature of OCD30:06 OCD and Autism: The Just Right Feeling31:22 Building Acceptance in Parenting32:22 The Psychological Definition of Acceptance33:46 Behavioral Issues and Parental Pressure35:05 Supporting Parents: Tips and Strategies37:24 Validating Experiences Before Problem Solving38:01 Common Challenges and Seeking Support39:21 Navigating Grief and Acceptance40:02 Ambiguous Grief and GOMO41:17 Being the Safe Person and Self-Advocacy44:31 Parental Regulation and Child's Behavior46:36 Building a Well-Rounded Support Team48:29 The Power of Tone and Voice52:12 Conclusion and Resources RESOURCES⚡️ Continue learning from Lisa Candera at theautismmomcoach.com/ and @theautismmomcoach on Instagram and Facebook⚡️ Download the Meltdown Action Plan⚡️ Join EVOLVE: The Membership — a neurodiversity-affirming space for parents to find community, support, and ongoing learning on this journey.⚡️ Learn more about Dr. Tay’s Whole Family Approach + current services at drtaylorday.com⚡️ Continue learning + submit questions for future episodes:Instagram → @the.dr.tayTikTok → @the.dr.tay
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197 | developing impulse control in autistic children
ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇In this mini episode, Dr. Tay discusses impulse control for autistic children and offers proactive strategies to develop this skill without inducing shame. Dr. Tay emphasizes the importance of a regulated state for teaching impulse control and using fun, engaging games like Red Light, Green Light and Simon Says. The episode also answers questions from parents, such as managing inappropriate comments and excessive affectionate behaviors. 00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview00:24 Inspiration Behind the Episode01:30 Understanding Impulse Control in Autistic Children03:02 Proactive Skill Building Strategies03:53 Engaging Activities to Teach Impulse Control06:29 Addressing Common Questions from Parents15:36 Impulse Control vs. Other Behavioral Issues17:15 Conclusion and Final Thoughts RESOURCES⚡️ Join EVOLVE: The Membership — a neurodiversity-affirming space for parents to find community, support, and ongoing learning on this journey.⚡️ Learn more about Dr. Tay’s Whole Family Approach + current services at drtaylorday.com⚡️ Continue learning + suggest topics for future episodes:Instagram → @the.dr.tayTikTok → @the.dr.tay
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196 | understanding interoception and supporting body awareness in autistic kids with Kelly Mahler
ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇In this episode, Dr. Tay discusses the often overlooked yet crucial concept of interoception and its importance in supporting autistic children. Joined by guest Kelly Mahler, an experienced occupational therapist specializing in this area, they dive into what interoception is, how it impacts autistic children, and actionable strategies to improve interoceptive awareness. The conversation also touches on the significance of adult modeling, school-based interventions, and a comprehensive approach to sensory regulation. Additionally, they explore the connection between interoception and autistic burnout, providing valuable insights and resources for parents and educators.00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview02:04 Guest Introduction: Kelly Mahler02:11 Kelly's Journey into Interoception04:17 Understanding Interoception08:57 Interoception in Autistic Individuals14:44 Building Interoceptive Awareness in Kids23:16 Challenges and Advocacy in Schools25:25 Understanding Interoception and Compliance26:01 Adult Modeling and Focus Area Experiments28:59 Sequential Process: Body, Emotion, Action32:18 Challenges in School-Based OT and Sensory Regulation38:47 Autistic Burnout and Interoception46:52 Resources and Final ThoughtsRESOURCES⚡️ check out all of Kelly’s resources → www.kelly-mahler.com ⚡️ Join EVOLVE: The Membership — a neurodiversity-affirming space for parents to find community, support, and ongoing learning on this journey.⚡️ Learn more about Dr. Tay’s Whole Family Approach + current services at drtaylorday.com⚡️ Continue learning + submit questions for future episodes:Instagram → @the.dr.tayTikTok → @the.dr.tay
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195 | perfectionism, over-accommodation, and finding the middle ground
ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇dr. tay dives deep into perfectionism — how it shows up in autism parenting, in clinical work, and even in content creation. she shares personal reflections, a powerful story from her group therapy model, and a reminder that perfectionism can hide behind our best intentions to help.this episode explores:the fine line between accommodation and over-accommodationperfectionism as a form of rigidity and how it sneaks into parentinglearning to release shame and accept imperfection as part of growthTIMESTAMPS00:00 introduction: what perfectionism looks like in parenting00:54 reflections from clinical practice and lived experience01:33 perfectionism behind the scenes of podcasting and social media02:36 when “doing it right” becomes doing too much12:46 finding the balance between accommodation and over-accommodation21:17 learning to release control and practice repair over perfection25:15 a group reflection on perfectionism and shared growth35:42 closing encouragement and ways to stay connectedRESOURCES⚡️ join evolve: the membership — a space for parents to reflect, connect, and grow through their autism journey.⚡️ learn more about dr. tay’s whole family approach and current clinical services at drtaylorday.com.⚡️ continue learning from me and submit questions (they may be featured on a future episode!)instagram → @the.dr.taytiktok → @the.dr.tay
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194 | embracing humanity + connection in autism with jessie caraway of the if you know one project
ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇Dr. Tay sits down with Jessie Caraway, creator of the If You Know One Project, to talk about her family’s journey, her daughter’s autism diagnosis, and how the project grew out of a desire to build community and awareness.They reflect on the long road to an autism diagnosis, reframing “high support needs,” and the importance of seeing each autistic child through a lens of humanity rather than fear or deficit. Jessie shares how her journey with her daughter, Eliza, inspired her to create the If You Know One Project — a space that celebrates individuality and connection through neurodiversity-affirming awareness, apparel, and storytelling.Together, Dr. Tay and Jessie explore what it means to move forward with compassion, to hold complexity in parenting, and to remind families that every story — every one — matters.TIMESTAMPS00:00 Introduction and Guest Announcement00:29 Host’s Background and Podcast Purpose01:31 Guest Introduction and Family Background02:01 Starting the If You Know One Project03:29 Community Engagement and Resource Sharing06:50 Challenges in the Diagnosis Journey11:36 Navigating the Healthcare System18:23 The If You Know One Project’s Mission and Future Goals22:59 Navigating the Journey Together23:22 Support for Families24:04 Community and Connection24:33 Understanding High Support Needs25:22 The Value of Individuality26:20 Perspective Shifts and Humanity28:24 Building Trust and Communication32:19 Sharing Stories and Advocacy36:12 Encouragement for Parents38:56 Final Thoughts and Resources💛 RESOURCES⚡️ Connect with Jessie Caraway + The If You Know One Project:Instagram → @jess_ifyouknowoneEtsy Shop → If You Know One⚡️ Join EVOLVE: The Membership — a neurodiversity-affirming space for parents to find community, support, and ongoing learning on this journey.⚡️ Learn more about Dr. Tay’s Whole Family Approach + current services at drtaylorday.com⚡️ Continue learning + submit questions for future episodes:Instagram → @the.dr.tayTikTok → @the.dr.tay
About EVOLVE with Dr. Tay: the podcast for parents of autistic kids
welcome to a parenting space actually designed for YOU! where you can get answers about navigating a life that includes autism.
I’m Dr. Tay, a licensed child psychologist specializing in autism and neuroaffirming care. I have supported 100s of autistic children and their families and have been in the autism field for over a decade.
on this podcast, we focus on supporting your autistic child AND your whole family, including you! every topic is on the table, and your questions (which you can submit through my social media) inspire the episodes created. I share some of my personal stories growing up with a brother who was diagnosed at 23 months of age as well as feature other families' stories so you know you are not navigating this journey alone. this is a space for you to be SEEN. HEARD. SUPPORTED. and get reputable and reliable information about autism instead of searching Google endlessly for hours. I am so dang grateful that you are here.
***disclaimer: not clinical advice, for educational purposes only***
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Listen to EVOLVE with Dr. Tay: the podcast for parents of autistic kids, Lines of Inquiry and many other podcasts from around the world with the radio.net app
Ireland