Dysregulated Kids: Science-Backed Parenting Help for Behavior, Anxiety, ADHD and More

385 episodes

How to Help Siblings Get Along (When One Is Dysregulated) | Co-Regulation | E383
18/2/2026 | 12 mins.
Struggling with constant sibling fights? Learn how to help siblings get along when one is dysregulated as Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, expert in Regulation First Parenting™, shares practical strategies to calm nervous systems, restore connection, and support every child’s emotional growth.
Feeling stuck in constant sibling fights? You’re not alone. When one child is dysregulated, it can feel like refereeing a never-ending WWE match in your own home. But the good news? This isn’t about bad behavior—it’s about nervous system regulation.
In this episode, I break down why sibling conflict happens, how emotional dysregulation impacts neurotypical siblings, and practical strategies for supporting siblings so the whole family can feel safer, calmer, and more connected.
Why does my child fight more with their sibling than others?
Sibling conflict isn’t just about personality clashes—it’s often a nervous system issue. When one child’s brain is dysregulated, impulse control drops and neutral interactions can feel threatening. This stress spreads across the family, impacting other children and family dynamics.
Key takeaways:
Regulate first: Calm the dysregulated child before problem-solving.
Name it: Explain, “Your sibling’s brain is having a hard time—it’s not because of you.”
Protect siblings: Give safe spaces, predictable attention, and permission to step away.

Parent example: One mom noticed her neurotypical child withdrawing during board games while her dysregulated younger child exploded. Simply creating a calm, structured activity time reduced tension and restored connection.
How can I support my child while still giving attention to their sibling?
It’s tempting to split attention equally, but equity doesn’t mean identical. A struggling child may need tailored support, while other kids still need recognition to avoid resentment.
Tips for practice:
Schedule one-on-one time with each child, even 10–15 minutes daily.
Use family routines and predictable activities to lower stress for the entire family.
Normalize dysregulation: “We all have hard moments—brains get overwhelmed.”

🗣️ “Sibling conflict isn’t about fairness. It’s about felt safety. When one child's nervous system is on fire, everyone else really can be struggling too.” — Dr. Roseann
Quick CALM is a powerful tool for families. It helps kids take deep breaths, regulate emotions, and reset their nervous system before tension escalates.
What strategies actually reduce sibling tension in daily life?
Focusing on regulation rather than punishment changes the game. Instead of forcing apologies or correcting behavior in the moment, lead with calm.
Practical strategies:
Regulate first, teach later: One calm response can shift the whole family’s...
Device Dysregulation™: The Surprising Way Screens Rewire Your Child's Brain | Emotional Dysregulation | E382
16/2/2026 | 23 mins.
Device Dysregulation™ can leave children overstimulated, anxious, and struggling to calm their brains after screen use. In this episode, Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, expert in Regulation First Parenting™, explains how screens impact emotional regulation and shares strategies to help kids reset and thrive.
Parenting with constant screens can feel overwhelming. You’re not alone. Post-pandemic, many kids became overstimulated from online learning and social media, leaving parents unsure how to help.
Device dysregulation isn’t just screen time—it’s a brain stuck in high alert, craving dopamine, and losing tolerance for calm.
In this episode, you’ll learn why kids get stuck in device dysregulation, how to prevent emotional dysregulation, and concrete strategies for transitions, boundaries, and sensory resets that make real change possible.
Why does my child meltdown when I ask them to put the device down?
Meltdowns aren’t defiance—they’re the nervous system signaling overwhelm. Rapid-fire entertainment, dopamine spikes, and addictive social media can keep the brain in a constant high alert, often leading to emotion regulation difficultiesand maladaptive emotion regulation strategies.
These challenges affect children’s emotional responses, increase negative emotions, and in some cases can mimic symptoms seen in mental disorders or contribute to problematic internet use.
Tips for parents:
Co-regulate first: Model calm so your child can borrow your regulation and practice healthier emotion regulation strategies.
Avoid personalization: Their reactions aren’t about you—they’re dysregulated.
Predictable boundaries: Set device limits before the screen is on to reduce conflict and support consistent, regulated emotional responses.

Real-Life Example: Eli, a 12-year-old, became irritable and anxious post-pandemic. Consistent screen limits and calm parental cues helped him power down without daily battles.
How can I help my child regulate after excessive screen time?
Transitions from screens are tricky because the brain is overstimulated. Without grounding, kids and young adults can struggle with emotional awareness, executive functioning, and attention, increasing the risk of temper tantrums, negative emotional states, and experiencing negative emotions.
Practical strategies:
Sensory transitions: Jumping jacks, cold water, a sensory snack, or barefoot walks reset the nervous system.
Model coping: Show how you unplug and shift focus calmly.
Gradual transitions: Use timers and warnings for device cutoff to reduce experiencing negative emotions and prevent meltdowns.

If you’re tired of walking on eggshells or feeling like nothing works…
Get the FREE Regulation Rescue Kit and finally learn what to say and do in the heat of the moment.
Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP at
Meltdowns, Mood Swings, and the Nervous System No One Is Talking About | Regulation First Parenting | E381
11/2/2026 | 20 mins.
Meltdowns and mood swings can leave parents feeling stuck and overwhelmed. This episode unpacks meltdowns, mood swings, and the nervous system no one is talking about, showing why behavior escalates. Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, Regulation First Parenting™ expert, explains how calming the brain creates real change.
If you’re exhausted by constant meltdowns, mood swings, and reactions that make no sense, you’re not failing—your child’s nervous system is overwhelmed.
This episode unpacks meltdowns, mood swings, and the nervous system no one is talking about and shows where real change begins.
Why does my child melt down even when nothing “big” happened?
Many parents are shocked by emotional outbursts that seem to come out of nowhere—especially after school or during simple transitions. What’s often happening isn’t defiance, but nervous system dysregulation.
When a child’s nervous system is stuck in survival mode—also called fight or flight or sympathetic overdrive—their brain can’t process logic, rules, or consequences.
Key takeaways:
Behavior is communication, not manipulation
A dysregulated brain repeats patterns—healthy or unhealthy
Calm isn’t the goal—flexibility is

Example: Your child explodes over homework. Their prefrontal cortex is offline, not their motivation.
Why doesn’t traditional discipline work during emotional dysregulation?
Most parenting advice starts after the nervous system is already on fire. Charts, rewards, and consequences fail because a dysregulated autonomic nervous system can’t learn.
Discipline without regulation feels like a threat, while discipline after regulation becomes guidance.
Remember:
A stressed brain can’t self-regulate
Discipline before regulation escalates power struggles
Regulation first restores access to impulse control

It’s not bad parenting—it’s a dysregulated brain.
Want to stay calm when your child pushes every button?
Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP and get the FREE Regulation Rescue Kit—your step-by-step guide to stop oppositional behaviors without yelling or giving in.
Go to www.drroseann.com/newsletter and grab your kit today.
What’s actually happening in my child’s brain during mood swings?
When stress hormones flood the brain and nervous system, the amygdala hijacks behavior and shuts down executive function. This affects emotional regulation, mood swings, sleep, immune function, and learning.
Over time, chronic stress leads to:
Shorter fuses and bigger reactions
Trouble with impulse control
What If Your Child Isn't Lazy at All? Why Smart Kids Struggle | Emotional Dysregulation | E380
09/2/2026 | 14 mins.
If your bright child avoids tasks or seems unmotivated, it’s not laziness. Why smart kids struggle often comes down to a dysregulated nervous system and executive functioning challenges. Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, expert in Regulation First Parenting™, shows how understanding regulation transforms behavior.
Parenting a gifted child can feel like walking a tightrope. You know your child is capable of great things, yet the constant battles over homework, chores, or tasks leave you questioning yourself. Why are smart kids struggling so much, even when they have all the abilities to succeed?
Understanding why smart kids struggle can transform your parenting approach and help your child thrive without shame, pressure, or frustration. By the end, you’ll have actionable steps to support regulation, executive functioning, and motivation—so the “lazy” label finally makes sense.
Why does my gifted child avoid starting tasks?
Many parents of gifted children notice that their kids stall before beginning tasks. It’s tempting to think they’re unmotivated, but the truth is rooted in brain regulation.
Underactive prefrontal cortex: Your child’s brain may lack the “go” signal for planning and initiating.
Overactive emotional center: They feel failure deeply, so avoidance feels safer.
Low mental energy: Bright brains burn through energy quickly, leaving little for sustained effort.

🗣️ “Laziness isn’t a personality trait—it’s a dysregulated brain avoiding overwhelm.” — Dr. Roseann
Parent Example: Leo, a straight-A thinker, could explain concepts perfectly but avoided writing assignments. Once his nervous system was regulated and tasks were broken down using backward planning, he became more cognitively available—and finally started completing work without pressure.
How can I help my smart child overcome perfectionism?
Perfectionism is a common hidden struggle for gifted kids. When every mistake feels catastrophic, children freeze instead of acting.
Encourage effort over outcome: Celebrate trying, not just finishing perfectly.
Model imperfection: Show kids it’s okay to make mistakes.
Small, achievable steps: Reduce overwhelm and make starting easier.

If you’re tired of walking on eggshells or feeling like nothing works…
Get the FREE Regulation Rescue Kit and finally learn what to say and do in the heat of the moment.
Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP at www.drroseann.com/newsletter and take the first step to a calmer home.
What practical strategies support smart kids struggling with motivation?
Helping smart kids succeed is less about pushing harder and more about supporting regulation and executive functioning skills.
Regulate the nervous system first: A...
Why "No!" Becomes Your Child's Default Response | Regulation-First Parenting | E379
04/2/2026 | 14 mins.
Ever wonder why no becomes your child's default response? It’s rarely defiance—often, it’s their nervous system seeking safety. In this episode, Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, expert in Regulation First Parenting™, explains how to understand and respond to these stress signals with calm, confidence, and clarity.
Feeling like every request to your child is met with an automatic “No”? You’re not alone. Many parents feel like they’re raising a defiant child, but often, what you’re seeing is a nervous system protecting itself—not a power struggle.
In this episode, I break down why “No” becomes your child’s default response and how you can respond with calm, strategy, and empathy.
Why does my child say no to everything, even the things they like?
For many kids, “No” is a self-protective shield, not rebellion. When a child’s brain senses pressure, unpredictability, or tasks that feel overwhelming, it reacts with an automatic refusal.
Many default parents—often the parent who is primarily responsible for daily child-related tasks—feel the weight of this automatically, sometimes experiencing default parent resentment toward the other parent, especially if one is a stay-at-home parent and the other parent works full-time.
Cultural gender norms can also shape who ends up carrying more of the emotional labor, adding to stress and fatigue.
Demand sensitivity triggers immediate “No” responses, especially in children with anxiety, ADHD, or trauma histories.
Low autonomy makes children feel powerless, so saying “No” restores a sense of control.
Cognitive overload and unclear tasks lead to avoidance, not defiance.

Parent example: Matthew shared that his daughter refused brushing teeth, getting dressed, and even dessert. By slowing down commands and giving small choices—like “Do you want socks first or shoes first?”—her nervous system felt safe, and the automatic “No” faded.
How can I stop taking “No” personally as a parent?
It’s easy for default parents or primary caregivers to feel attacked. Remember: it’s not disrespect—it’s the brain signaling stress.
Many parents, especially many moms, notice they carry the bulk of the daily emotional labor and often need more support from their co-parent or family network.
Regulate first: Your calm tone, posture, and pacing invite cooperation.
Reduce pressure: Less rushing, fewer demands, smaller instructions.
Offer mini control: Simple choices like “Do homework before or after snack?” help buffer the “No.”

When your child is dysregulated, it’s easy to feel helpless.
The Regulation Rescue Kit gives you scripts and strategies to stay grounded and in control.
Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP at www.drroseann.com/newsletter and get your free kit...

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About Dysregulated Kids: Science-Backed Parenting Help for Behavior, Anxiety, ADHD and More

Are you tired of the daily battles, the problems with listening and focus, meltdowns over minor frustrations, and the constant feeling of walking on eggshells in your own home? If you're a parent who feels overwhelmed, stuck in a cycle of reactivity, and utterly exhausted from trying to manage your child's challenging behaviors, you are not alone. You've tried everything—the sticker charts, the timeouts, the endless negotiations—but nothing creates lasting change. The answer isn't more discipline. The secret is understanding the brain. Welcome to Dysregulated Kids: Science-Backed Parenting Help, the podcast that is revolutionizing the way we parent. Hosted by Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, a licensed therapist, school psychologist and author with over 30 years of experience in children's mental health and recognized by Forbes as a thought leader in children's mental health, this podcast is your lifeline. Dr. Roseann pulls back the curtain on why your child or teen is struggling, whether they have a clinical diagnosis like ADHD, Anxiety, Autism, OCD, Depression, Dyslexia, Executive Functioning challenges, Lyme, or PANS/PANDAS, or are simply navigating the ups and downs of everyday life.Her revolutionary Regulation First Parenting™ approach teaches that calming the nervous system is the first step before you can connect, teach, or help your child learn. In short, actionable episodes, Dr. Roseann gives you proven tools like the CALMS Protocol™, quick nervous system reset tools and co-regulation strategies to move your child (and yourself!) from stress and reactivity to calm, connection, and resilience. You'll learn what to say and do to de-escalate meltdowns in the moment, how to build your child's emotional regulation skills, and how to improve their executive functioning and attention so they can succeed at home, at school, and in life. Imagine shifting your entire perspective from seeing "defiance" to understanding "dysregulation." Picture yourself feeling confident and equipped, knowing exactly how to respond in those tough parenting moments. This is the transformation that awaits you. Parents discover how to break free from the reactivity cycle and build a more connected, joyful family—going from helpless and frustrated to empowered and hopeful. Here's what you can expect from Dysregulated Kids: Real Solutions for Real Problems – Whether you're dealing with ADHD, anxiety, sensory overload, meltdowns, or everyday struggles, Dr. Roseann brings strategies that actually work. Science-Backed Parenting Tools – Learn how to understand your child's nervous system and apply research-driven calming strategies to create a peaceful, happy home. Practical Advice You Can Use Today – Each episode delivers focused, actionable content without the fluff—just pure wisdom you can apply to your family right away. Empowerment and Hope – Dr. Roseann blends expert knowledge with deep empathy for the challenges parents face, helping you feel confident that you can make positive change. This podcast is for parents of the "reactive" kid or the child who feels more, reacts to little things more, and just needs more from you. It's for parents of neurodivergent children or kids struggling with mental health challenges. Really this show is for all parents dealing with typical stressors who want to raise emotionally intelligent, resilient kids in a world that is more demanding and chaotic than ever. If you've seen Dr. Roseann on TV, you know she doesn't shy away from real talk about real problems. She brings that same authenticity and expertise to every episode, combining hope with science to help you calm the brain and create a happier family. Are you ready to stop just surviving and start thriving? Subscribe now and start your journey toward a calmer brain and a happier family today. For more resources, show notes, and to connect with Dr. Roseann, visit drroseann.com.

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