Next Up: Narcissism

• Episode 55: On Love and Relationships with Jillian Tureck

  Most people don’t realize how much of their relationship pain comes from patterns they never chose and beliefs they never questioned, and I’ve seen it over and over again.   In this episode, I’m joined by someone I’ve admired for a long time, relationship expert and author Jillian Turecki. Her new book, “It Begins With You: The Nine Hard Truths About Love That Will Change Your Life,” is the kind of work that doesn’t just offer advice. It asks you to look inward. We talk about the ways we lose ourselves in relationships, the lies we tell ourselves to keep people close, and what it really means to grow after heartbreak. What does healthy love even look like? How do we know when we’re giving too much? Why do so many of us feel like we have to convince someone to stay?   Jillian shares so much of her insight and experience in this conversation: why deal breakers matter, how our family stories shape our love lives, and what it actually means to make peace with the past. One of the most powerful takeaways for me was her perspective on forgiveness, and how letting go doesn’t always mean condoning someone’s behavior. Sometimes it just means refusing to carry the story anymore.   If you’ve ever felt stuck, questioned your worth in a relationship, or wondered why you keep ending up in the same kind of dynamic, this one’s for you. I hope it leaves you feeling seen… and more importantly, ready to take your power back.   Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Jillian Turecki and Her Work 03:14 The Importance of Self-Reflection in Relationships 06:00 Defining Healthy Love 08:49 Understanding Deal Breakers in Relationships 11:57 The Complexity of Relationship Dynamics 15:08 The Myth of Fairy Tale Love 18:01 The Challenge of Convincing Someone to Love You 20:59 Processing Breakups and Moving Forward 24:00 Making Peace with Your Parents 36:49 Final Thoughts and Words of Wisdom   Links Connect with Jillian Turecki: https://www.jillianturecki.com/book https://www.instagram.com/jillianturecki/?hl=en https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/jillian-on-love/id1640172049   Connect with Dr. Z: https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/ https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/ https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/ https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist https://www.youtube.com/@DrJaimeZuckerman   Get my FREE breathing exercise here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/newsletter Register for my on demand virtual courses here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/workshops Order my workbooks! *Find Your Calm / Find Good Habits* http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/books Shop my new Mindfully Messy hoodie here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/apparel Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

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• Episode 54: Toxic with Elizabeth Chambers

  Toxic relationships don’t usually start with obvious red flags. More often, they start with connection, someone who seems to really see you, who shows up in big ways, who makes you feel chosen. But over time, that connection can shift into something confusing, isolating, and hard to recognize for what it is.   I talk with Elizabeth Chambers, Host, Investigative Journalist and Executive Producer of the docuseries “Toxic,” about the psychological patterns behind abusive relationships - how they take shape, why they’re so easy to miss, and what keeps people from leaving. Elizabeth shares the stories of survivors she interviewed, many of whom came from loving, stable homes and never expected to end up in something harmful.   We also get into how culture plays a role. The fairytales we grow up with, the rom-com tropes, the magazines that taught us how to “get the guy” - they all send messages that can make it easier for abusers to gain trust and control. And when someone starts tailoring themselves to your vulnerabilities, mirroring your interests, slowly taking over the parts of your life that matter most, it rarely looks like abuse in the moment.   I talk through the tools I see used again and again in narcissistic relationships - love bombing, gaslighting, financial control - and how easy it is for good, smart people to get caught in them. And we explore what real support looks like when someone you care about is stuck in a relationship that’s hurting them.   This episode is a reminder to pay attention. To stay curious. To talk about the things we’re taught to keep private. Because awareness is the first step, and no one should have to figure it out alone.   Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction to Narcissism and Healing 02:52 The Impact of Toxic Relationships 05:53 Recognizing Generational and Cultural Patterns 11:57 Why It’s So Hard to Leave 18:09 Love Bombing and Emotional Control 24:06 Red Flags and Manipulation Tactics 30:06 The Psychology Behind Abuse 34:25 Power, Intimacy, and Control 41:07 Communication and Relationship Imbalances 49:49 How Friends and Family Can Help 51:32 Breaking the Cycle for Future Generations   Links Watch Toxic on Max: https://www.max.com/shows/toxic/33977981-2e30-45d2-98c6-3145f9c40b33 https://www.instagram.com/elizabethchambers/   Connect with Dr. Z: https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/ https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/ https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/ https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist https://www.youtube.com/@DrJaimeZuckerman   Get my FREE breathing exercise here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/newsletter Register for my on demand virtual courses here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/workshops Order my workbooks! *Find Your Calm / Find Good Habits* http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/books Shop my new Mindfully Messy hoodie here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/apparel Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

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• Episode 53: Couples Therapy with a Narcissist? Think Twice

  Couples therapy isn’t always a safe space, especially when a narcissist is in the room.   I get asked about this constantly: “Should we try couples therapy?” If your partner has narcissistic traits or narcissistic personality disorder, my answer is no. In this episode, I explain why.   Too often, therapy turns into a performance, another platform for the narcissist to manipulate, charm the therapist, and flip the narrative. Instead of feeling supported, the person being harmed walks out feeling blamed, invalidated, and more confused than ever.   The truth is, most therapists aren’t trained to recognize the subtle patterns of narcissistic abuse. They might know the diagnosis from a textbook, but they miss the gaslighting, coercive control, and emotional manipulation happening right in front of them. I’ve seen how that leads to real harm.   If you’ve been to couples therapy and felt like something was off, or worse, felt like the problem, you’re not imagining it. You’re not overreacting. And you’re not alone.   In this episode, I break down why I never recommend couples therapy in these situations, and why individual support is not just more effective, but also safer.   Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction  01:16 Why Couples Therapy Fails with a Narcissist 03:38 Therapists Often Miss the Signs of Narcissistic Abuse 08:16 How Narcissists Use Therapy as a Stage 10:48 Their Real Agenda Isn’t Healing 12:08 Toxic Behavior vs. Narcissistic Abuse 18:06 Why Speaking the Truth in Therapy Can Be Dangerous 21:08 When Therapy Advice Causes More Harm 24:55 Is There Any Benefit to Couples Therapy? 29:55 Why Individual Therapy Is the Safer Choice 33:00 Dr. Z’s Advice and How to Get Help   Links Connect with Dr. Z: https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/ https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/ https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/ https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist https://www.youtube.com/@DrJaimeZuckerman   Get my FREE breathing exercise here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/newsletter Register for my on demand virtual courses here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/workshops Order my workbooks! *Find Your Calm / Find Good Habits* http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/books Shop my new Mindfully Messy hoodie here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/apparel Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

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• Episode 52: Narcissists and Infidelity

  When a narcissist cheats, the affair often has little to do with love or connection. It’s about power.   In this episode, I sit down with psychotherapist Lauren LaRusso, LPC, LMHC, to unpack why narcissists have affairs and how their motivations are different from what most people expect. Why do they always seem to have someone waiting in the wings? Why is there so little remorse when they’re caught? And why does the person who’s been betrayed so often end up feeling like the one to blame?   Lauren and I talk about how narcissists use affairs to stay in control and protect their image. These betrayals aren’t usually about emotional disconnection. They’re about manipulation, dominance, and supply. We also get into what it’s like for the person on the receiving end: the self-doubt, the confusion, the isolation. And we talk honestly about why leaving is so complicated. Sometimes there are kids involved. Sometimes it’s about safety. Sometimes it’s about survival.   If you’ve been through this, or you’re still in it, I hope this conversation brings you clarity. You’re not imagining it. You’re not overreacting. And most importantly, you’re not alone.   Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why Narcissists Cheat 03:25 What Counts as an Affair 04:52 Gender Differences in Infidelity 12:06 Can an Affair Stabilize a Marriage? 16:47 Why People Don’t Just Leave 23:24 Affairs in Narcissistic Relationships 27:38 The “Perfect” Narcissist and Secret Lives 30:10 Lack of Accountability 33:07 How Narcissistic Abuse Shows Up in Therapy 38:01 The Danger of Blaming the Betrayed Partner 40:07 Affairs as a Survival Strategy 42:03 Healing After Narcissistic Relationships   In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, ALL virtual courses AND apparel on my website are 20% off for the month of MAY with CODE: MHAM20 Explore on-demand courses here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/workshops Shop apparel here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/apparel   Links Connect with Lauren LaRusso, LPC, LMHC: website: www.theaffairconsultant.com Instagram @LaurenLaRusso   Connect with Dr. Z: https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/ https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/ https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/ https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist https://www.youtube.com/@DrJaimeZuckerman Order my workbooks! *Find Your Calm / Find Good Habits* http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/books Get my FREE breathing exercise here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/newsletter Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

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• Episode 51:Transparency in Family Court and Parental Alienation with Dr. Charlotte Proudman

  Family courts were designed to protect families. So why do so many survivors find themselves trapped by the very system that was supposed to protect them?   In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Charlotte Proudman, a family law barrister and founder of Right to Equality. Charlotte has spent her career challenging the failures of the family court system, especially when it comes to cases involving domestic abuse, sexual coercion, coercive control, and parental alienation. We talk openly about the real impact these failures have on women and children, and why change is so urgently needed.   Why is coercive control still overlooked in custody cases? How did parental alienation turn into a legal weapon used by abusive parents? Charlotte shares powerful stories from her new book, “He Said, She Said,” and explains how family courts continue to mishandle allegations of sexual abuse and emotional violence.   This conversation pulls back the curtain on a system that too often silences the very people it should protect. Charlotte and I talk about what needs to happen for family courts to finally center the voices of survivors, and how we can push for the trauma-informed change that families deserve.   Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction 02:22 Family Courts and Gender Equality 03:44 Systemic Failures in Addressing Domestic Abuse 08:07 Sexual Coercion and Coercive Control 16:07 Parental Alienation as a Legal Strategy 34:07 Mishandling of Child Sexual Abuse Allegations 40:04 Purpose of “He Said, She Said”   Links Connect with Dr. Charlotte Proudman: @drproudman on Instagram, X, and TikTok; https://www.charlotteproudman.com/team-4-1  (upcoming events for He Said She Said); https://www.amazon.co.uk/He-Said-She-Struggle-Justice/dp/1399612441Pre-order “He Said, She Said: Truth, Trauma and the Struggle for Justice in Family Court”   Connect with Dr. Z: https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/ https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/ https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/ https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist https://www.youtube.com/@DrJaimeZuckerman   Get my FREE breathing exercise here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/newsletter Register for my on demand virtual courses here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/workshops Order my workbooks! *Find Your Calm / Find Good Habits* http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/books Shop my new Mindfully Messy hoodie here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/apparel Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

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