That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

• #197 Holding our nerve: navigating urges and building tenacity in breaking hoarding behaviours

  Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  Today I’m talking about what it really takes to stick to our dehoarding decisions - how to resist urges, tolerate discomfort, and actually follow through, even when it’s tough. I’ll share why holding our nerve matters, what gets in the way, and some strategies to help avoid falling back into old patterns. Plus, there’s a practical top tip at the end to help boost your self-care this month. Holding Our Nerve Explanation of the gap between deciding to act and actually taking action when dehoarding Definition in Hoarding Context Persistence in sticking to healthy, productive decisions Managing urges to revert to hoarding behaviours Commitment to goals for sustainable progress Reference to Amelia Earhart’s quote about decision-making and tenacity “Paper tigers” explanation – things we fear that seem big but aren’t as powerful as they appear Application to Hoarding Behaviour Resisting Acquiring Items Examples: bargain shopping, free items, online shopping temptations Enduring Discomfort in Dehoarding Tolerating emotional and physical discomfort during the dehoarding process Maintaining Long-term Commitment Remembering reasons for setting goals in the first place Avoiding short-term gratification and honouring original decisions Hoarding as a Coping Mechanism Exploration of how and why hoarding behaviours develop and persist Acknowledging that they once served a purpose and understanding possible current motivations Strategies for Holding Our Nerve Breaking the Cycle Recognising urges and patterns Learning from successes and setbacks Decision-Making vs. Tenacity Differentiating between difficulty in deciding versus following through The importance of honouring previous decisions Reminders and Motivation Recalling the “why” behind goals (better living conditions, consequences, self-improvement) Using motivational tools (e.g., visual reminders, Pinterest boards) Compassion and Flexibility Allowing for Mistakes Emphasis on not seeking perfection, just consistent progress Adjusting Expectations Recognising that personal best varies from day to day Trusting the process, even during discomfort Building the “Dehoarding Muscle” Each successful decision builds strength and determination for future efforts Identifying and Addressing Triggers Internal Triggers Decision fatigue, emotional attachment, mental and physical exhaustion, anxiety or depression Self-doubt and “what if I need it?” thoughts External Triggers Specific shops, websites, sales, or social pressure from others Discouragement, overwhelm, enticing offers, or resistance from people uncomfortable with change Planning Around Triggers Identifying personal stumbling blocks and creating plans to avoid or counteract them Coping Tactics for Urges Acknowledgment & Self-Reflection Naming feelings and urges to reduce their power Recognising patterns and underlying needs (e.g., hunger, mood) Nervous System Regulation Using grounding techniques, calming objects, self-talk, and other anxiety-management tools Allowing oneself to feel discomfort without acting on it Dealing with “What If I Need It?” Thoughts Trusting future self to be resourceful Breaking down hypothetical worries and seeking alternatives Importance of Support Systems Building and Using Support Networks Therapists, friends, accountability groups (Zoom sessions), online communities Support as both emotional (crying, laughing) and practical (advice, checks on decisions) Loneliness and Variations in Support Recognition that not everyone has support, with encouragement to proactively seek help Mention of a related episode on loneliness Self-Compassion and Learning from Setbacks Self-forgiveness and Reflection Importance of forgiving oneself instead of engaging in self-punishment Analysing situations where nerve was lost to prevent future recurrences Practical Planning Strategies for managing triggers, such as only shopping with someone else or removing items quickly Links Podcast ep 196: Trusting our future selves to be resourceful with Dr Jan Eppingstall Podcast episode 174: How to feel grounded when we’re overwhelmed or dysregulated using ventral vagal spaces and touchstones, with Dr Jan Eppingstall Podcast ep 49: Sitting with discomfort: distress tolerance and hoarding – How unconscious distress avoidance might be worsening your problems Podcast ep 190: What if we forgive ourselves, but now we know better, we do better? Choosing compassion over shame in hoarding disorder Podcast ep 130: Loneliness and hoarding with Vassia Sarantopoulou: build human connections and combat hoarding-related shame Action for Happiness calendar Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @[email protected] TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here

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• #196 Trusting our future selves to be resourceful with Dr Jan Eppingstall

  Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  This episode, I’m joined by Dr Jan Eppingstall to talk about why so many of us who hoard struggle to trust our future selves to cope without keeping everything “just in case.” We get into how doubts about our own resourcefulness and fears about scarcity keep us stuck, and share practical ways to build confidence in our ability to handle whatever comes next. If you’ve ever worried you won’t manage without every single spare part or backup item, this conversation’s for you. Trusting Our Future Selves to Be Resourceful The psychological struggle of believing in one’s ability to cope without keeping everything Personal anecdotes from the host about surprise resourcefulness Exploration of cognitive distortions surrounding trust in future adaptability Resourcefulness in Hoarding Behaviour Contradiction: Resourceful justifications for keeping items vs. fear of not being resourceful if they’re discarded The role of loss aversion and catastrophic scarcity thinking Imagining multiple uses for broken items versus inability to visualise coping without them The ‘Just in Case’ Myth Reading and analysis of Ru Kotryna’s Instagram post on ‘just in case’ keeping Discussion of how this reflects distrust in future self Emotional impacts: fear of change, sufficiency, and facing the future without backup How Distrust in Future Selves Manifests in Hoarding ‘Insurance hoarding’ and duplicate/back-up keeping Information hoarding for fear of forgetting needed details Emotional insecurity and sense of powerlessness Host’s personal examples (nature as a self-soothing tool and fear of its impermanence) Navigating Ephemerality and Change Conversation about the fleeting nature of things and the difficulty in accepting impermanence Reflection on attempts to freeze time by hoarding Behaviours and Thoughts Stemming from Lack of Self-Trust Executive function issues (planning, organisation, working memory) Trauma and past experiences of genuine scarcity Shame and immediate anxiety-reduction through keeping Avoidance and ‘comfort objects’ as safety strategies Psychological Mechanisms Behind ‘I Don’t Trust Future Me’ Discontinuity between current and future self Impact of ADHD and perimenopause on executive functioning and time perception Cognitive gaps between imagining needs and recalling/locating stored things Irony of ‘preparedness’ leading to greater unpreparedness Building Trust in Future Resourcefulness The value of journalling resourceful moments Small experiments: let go of duplicates and record how needs are met afterward Reviewing past examples of having coped or improvised successfully Consumerism and the Illusion of Solutions Attraction to gadgets and solutions for perceived problems The sunk cost fallacy and struggles to let go Owning up to aspirational or impulse purchases and being flexible in letting go if they don't work Scarcity Thinking and Its Long-Term Effects Personal stories of genuine scarcity and the enduring fear it creates How fear of not having enough directs attention to objects as solutions, rather than inner resourcefulness Difficulty breaking the object-focused habit even after circumstances change Breaking the Pattern: Psychological Approaches in Therapy Building evidence of existing skills and resourcefulness Addressing deeper self-worth issues and messages from childhood The importance of social connections, seeking help, and curiosity The Power and Pitfall of Backup Systems Possessions as emotional and practical backup Drawback: Items often become inaccessible or forgotten The paradox of keeping as “preparation” that often fails in practice due to volume and executive dysfunction Strengthening Connection with Future Self Using ACT techniques and self-compassion Treating your future self like a friend and planning for their needs Internal monologues about preparing spaces and making life easier for future-you Alternative Pathways to Security and Preparedness Community and social resource sharing (borrowing, lending among friends/family) Developing adaptability, self-confidence, and skills rather than accumulating more items Experimenting with minimalism and embracing uncertainty Actionable Steps for Building Trust in Resourcefulness Saying “I’ll figure it out when I need to” Experimenting with running out of non-critical supplies Documenting and reflecting on resourceful problem-solving Letting go of low-risk items and noticing outcomes The reminder that listeners have survived all past problems resourcefully Encouragement to recognise and trust personal growth and capabilities Emphasis on learning, adaptability, and present-focused living Links The Ru Kotryna Instagram post that inspired this episode Podcast ep 183: ADHD, executive dysfunction and creating hacks and systems to reduce clutter chaos, with Carrie Lagerstedt Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Dr Jan Eppingstall at Stuffology https://www.facebook.com/stuffologyconsulting/ https://twitter.com/stuff_ology https://www.instagram.com/stuff_ology/ Dr Jan Eppingstall on Pinterest Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @[email protected] TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here

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• REMIX: Executive dysfunction and hoarding disorder with Dr Jan Eppingstall

  I really hope to be back with new episodes for you next week but, in the meantime, enjoy this incredible conversation with Dr Jan Eppingstall all about executive function, executive dysfunction, and hoarding.  Find the show notes and episode transcript here: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-112-executive-function-executive-dysfunction-and-hoarding-with-dr-jan-eppingstall/ Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ 

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• REMIX: 23 dehoarding tasks you can get done in a weekend

  Today, as we go into the weekend (and it's a long weekend here in the UK), get some ideas for weekend-shaped dehoarding tasks you can really get your teeth into. Find the full show notes and transcript here: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-90-23-dehoarding-tasks-you-can-achieve-in-a-weekend/  Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ 

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• REMIX: Tracy McCubbin on having a parent who hoards and becoming a professional organising superstar

  "Really early on, I was like, this isn't about the stuff. This just isn't about the stuff." - Tracy McCubbin. Today, we’re revisiting this episode with podcast favourite Tracy McCubbin, about being the child of a hoarder and becoming a professional organiser. Find the full show notes and transcript here: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-78-from-child-of-a-hoarder-to-professional-organiser-an-interview-with-tracy-mccubbin/  Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/   

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