That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

• #175 Taking the scary first steps: the courage to call a professional organiser, with Jasmine Sleigh

  Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  In this episode, I'm joined by Jasmine Sleigh, professional declutterer, as we discuss the daunting first steps of reaching out for professional help in tackling hoarding. Jasmine shares insights into what prompts individuals to make that initial call and the courage it takes, alongside practical strategies for working with organisers. Tune in for a thoughtful conversation on overcoming fears and building trust for positive change in managing clutter. Inviting Professional Help Jasmine explains common motivators for people to seek help Specific incidents or realisations prompting action Example scenarios like misplaced items or repairs The Initial Call to a Professional Organiser What typically prompts the call for professional help Jasmine's perspective on admiration for those who reach out The importance of taking calls seriously and with empathy Engaging with Potential Clients Approach to initial conversations with potential clients Building trust and understanding the client's situation Establishing client needs and potential outcomes Assessing the Client’s Home How Jasmine gathers information about the client's home Importance of assessing without judgment Considering client interaction with their items and living space Professional Organiser-Client Dynamics Respecting clients’ preferences and leading decisions Balancing professional insight with client autonomy Working towards the client's goals and priorities Process from Inquiry to Working Together Steps from initial inquiry to in-home visit Managing client expectations and realities Ensuring client comfort and readiness In-Home Visit Experience Jasmine’s mindset and approach during a home visit Avoiding overwhelm and maintaining professionalism Logistical and emotional assessments of the client’s environment Judgment and Perception in the Decluttering Process Being conscious of non-verbal cues and judgments perceived by clients Strategies for maintaining client comfort and trust Determining Fit and Referrals Assessing fit between client and professional organiser Referring clients to other professionals when appropriate Dealing with Client Motivations and External Pressures Addressing clients seeking help due to external pressures Finding a balance between urgency and client readiness Ensuring Positive Outcomes and Encouraging Future Engagement Creating a sense of achievement for the client Fostering positive experiences to encourage future self-help Challenges and Responsibilities of Professional Organisers Ethical responsibilities and managing client expectations Building trust for effective collaboration Personal Reflections and Habits for Mental Health Jasmine shares personal habits that support her mental health Reflection on the importance of reading and self-care activities

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• #174 How to feel grounded when we're overwhelmed or dysregulated using ventral vagal spaces and touchstones, with Dr Jan Eppingstall

  Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  In today's episode, Dr Jan Eppingstall and I explore how to create a ventral vagal space or touchstone to help us regulate our emotions, drawing inspiration from the work of Deb Dana and polyvagal theory. We look at how we can find or create areas within our home, and objects we can use on the go, that provide safety and connection, allowing us to feel grounded and manage overwhelming moments. We'll look at the emotional significance of objects, avoiding those that glower at us, and instead creating spaces filled with comfort and warmth. Creating Your Own Ventral Vagal Space Permission Slip segment Discussion about photographic portraits Emotions associated with the portraits Objects as Memories Significant memories vs. happy memories Harriet Impey's notion of "glowering" objects Emotional Impact of Objects Portraits as a reminder of insecurity Ventral Vagal Space Concept Use of Deb Dana's work in polyvagal theory Connection between emotional safety and physical space Explanation of Polyvagal Theory Breakdown of the nervous system's stages: ventral vagal, sympathetic, and dorsal vagal Relevance of Polyvagal Theory to Hoarding Trauma and its relation to object attachment Challenges of decision-making in a cluttered environment Deb Dana's Home Analogy - Comparison of home systems to body's autonomic systems Integration needed for a "full life" and connection Practical Application of Ventral Vagal Spaces Creating nourishing home spaces Abundance Importance of Touchstones Explanation and significance of touchstones Examples of personal or portable calming items Creating a Ventral Vagal Space or Touchstone Starting small by identifying objects that bring safety and contentment Using childhood memories to influence current safe spaces Applications and Benefits Using the space for emotional regulation Touchstones as portable reminders of safety Recognising objects that already serve as touchstones Importance of awareness and observation in identifying touchstones Utilising Resources for Grounding Examples of resources: lava lamps, messages, certain sounds Strategies for implementing these resources in daily life  

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• #173 9 things that are working for me when tackling hoarding and over-acquiring right now

  Sign up for the newsletter: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/newsletter  Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  In today's episode, I'm sharing nine strategies that are making a real difference in managing my hoarding behaviour and curbing over-acquiring right now. From tricks to overcome perfectionism and opening a daunting pile of letters to finding support in unexpected places and even leveraging a cute app, these tactics are moving me forward. Join me as I lay out what's working, in the hope it sparks a few ideas for you too. Opening 100 unopened letters Overcoming fear and procrastination Sorting coins and dealing with obsolete items Decision-making process in letting go Recognising dehoarding as self-kindness, not punishment Benefits of having a friend who knows the hoarding situation Managing perfectionism and doing things imperfectly Using the "hummingbird method" for tasks Introduction and use of the Finch app for self-care Using virtual assistants for task reminders Success with excessive mug collection and food cupboards Impact of the documentary "Buy Now" on purchasing habits Changing relationship with the inner critic Overcoming Mail Anxiety Milestone Kindness, Not Chore Embrace Imperfection for Future Growth Hands-Free Task Management Best-before dates at the start of the year Consumerism Documentary Curbing Instant Gratification

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• #172 Harriet Impey on clearing out her parents’ very full home, through family belongings and personal growth, in the film Where Dragons Live

  Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  In today's episode, I chat with Harriet Impey about the complex process of clearing out her parents' cluttered house after their deaths. From unusual family rules to emotional ties with objects, we cover how Harriet navigated the challenges of sorting belongings, her family dynamics, and the personal growth she experienced along the way navigating emotional landscapes. We also talk about whether her parents hoarded and how their relationship with their stuff has affected her relationship with her stuff. Plus, we discuss the importance of letting go, embracing mindfulness, and the transformative power of therapy. Trailer: Where Dragons Live: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2ARgzYZei8  Growing up in a cluttered house and realisation later in life Harriet's mother's attachment to objects and possible hoarding Influence of family habits on personal behaviour Relationships and Emotional Awareness Harriet's journey towards emotional awareness and accepting imperfections Importance of recognising complex feelings Managing fear of arguments and expressing anger Using Objects Instead of Saving Them Harriet's family preference for keeping items "too special to use" Transition to using these items with joy Family Dynamics and Emotional Suppression Differences in attitudes towards possessions among Harriet and her siblings Parents' contrasting approaches to objects Impact of her mother's anxiety on household rules and behavior Clearing Out Parents' Home Harriet's responsibility in sorting through parental belongings Emotional impact of dealing with deceased person's possessions Reference to "Swedish Death Cleaning" Importance of considerate item management Therapy and Self-Reflection Harriet's 20 years of therapy and its impact The influence of therapy on personal happiness and self-awareness Learning to be less rigid in life Managing and Letting Go of Belongings Evaluating the necessity of keeping certain belongings Mindfulness and Mental Health Mindful self-compassion and ACT The filming of "Where Dragons Live" The dual charm and burden of the family home Personal Experiences and Family Impact

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• #171 Hi Ren: How a song dramatically changed my approach to my inner critic

  Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-171-hi-ren-the-song-that-dramatically-changed-my-approach-to-my-inner-critic/   In this episode, I discuss Ren's song "Hi Ren," a mind-blowing exploration of inner conflict that blows apart ideas about the balance between darkness and light within us all. We'll unpack Ren's introspective lyrics, which explore themes like mental illness and creativity, and consider his take on life and what we can learn from it. I share how this song's impact has resonated with my own journey in dealing with grief and the inner critic. Watch the original song by Ren here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_nc1IVoMxc&pp=ygUGaGkgcmVu  Impact of "Hi Ren" by Ren Gill on my life Relation to grief and managing the inner critic Themes of Strength and Hope Inner strength and resilience amidst challenges Inner Conflict Illness and psychological battles The pendulum metaphor, advocating acceptance Universal evil and inner conflict Dark side as defensive rather than malevolent Chaos and division as intrinsic parts of self Identification with 'hope' indicating a shift towards optimism Life as a Dance Complexity and humanity over supernatural perfection Episode contains sensitive topics including swearing, suicide, and mental distress Song Analysis Exploration of mental illness and creativity struggles Connection to personal inner critic experiences Dialogue between Ren's dark and light personas Discussion of inner conflict and personal growth Internal struggle about personal achievements Dark side's criticism of Ren’s insecurities Ren’s music achieving 43 million YouTube views Dark side as a symbol of temptation and negativity Host's parallel with personal inner critics Steve Chapman's TED talk on inner critics Emotional impact of "Hi Ren" song on the host Dark Ren attacks out of fear and insecurity. Inner critic misconstrues protection as help. Inner critic always undermines self-confidence, futile. Ren's song conveys hope's profound impact. Embrace change; it's an evolving balance. Struggling makes us human, imperfect, and relatable.

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