Speaking With Confidence

Have you ever wondered why you can’t just “be more confident,” no matter how many pep talks you hear or inspirational quotes you read? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I tackle the frustrating reality that traditional confidence advice is often nothing more than a vibe check—temporary and fleeting, especially when the pressure is on. As a recovering college professor turned communication coach, I’ve seen firsthand how misunderstood confidence can be. Today, I take you through a forensic audit of your confidence, showing you how to treat it as a system—not a feeling.

We dive deep into the root causes that keep so many of us stuck in cycles of self-doubt, particularly for Gen Z, who face an identity crisis amplified by social media and external validation. I break down the three primary psychological triggers that hold you back: the imposter syndrome amplifier, the perfectionist trap, and the external validation void. These “gaslighters,” as I call them, create toxic narratives that sabotage your confidence and keep you chasing impossible standards.

But we go beyond identifying the problem. This episode is packed with actionable strategies to override those default settings. I walk you through a 48-hour trigger journal exercise to pinpoint your specific confidence dips, and introduce the Value Inventory—an evidence-based approach that forces your brain to face the reality of your skills and accomplishments. Drawing on concepts like Ryan Leak’s “chasing failure,” I show you how to use small, intentional failures as research tools to dismantle the perfectionism trap.

We build what I call your resilience firewall, connecting your audit findings to the three pillars that matter most: planning, research, and practice. By targeting your vulnerability points with specific plans, actively acquiring competence, and collecting low-stakes feedback, you create evidence-based assurance, moving from the feeling of being an imposter to speaking with unshakable authenticity.

Here’s what we covered in this episode:


Why “just be more confident” is useless advice and what actually works


The three psychological triggers that sabotage genuine confidence


How to do a confidence forensic audit using a 48-hour trigger journal


Building a Value Inventory to fight imposter syndrome with real evidence


Turning failure into research, not shame


Creating a resilience firewall through targeted planning, research, and practice


Why confidence isn’t a fixed trait, but a dynamic system you maintain


Actionable steps to start building evidence-based assurance today

Ready to upgrade your mental operating system and build real, lasting confidence? Start your 48-Hour Trigger Journal now and collect your first piece of evidence. For more tips and resources, check out speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com, grab your free ebook, and register for my Formulas for Public Speaking course. Remember, progress beats perfection every time—and your voice has the power to change the world.
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Have you ever wondered what it really means to speak with confidence, and how your words, presence, and mindset can transform every conversation? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I explore that question and much more with a truly remarkable guest.

I’m Tim Newman, your host—recovering college professor turned communication coach—and today I’m joined by Antoni Lacinai, an internationally acclaimed workplace communication expert, keynote speaker, and author. Not only has Antoni delivered masterclasses worldwide on compassionate leadership and empathy-driven engagement, but he’s also written and co-written 14 business books, hundreds of magazine columns, a novel, a radio theater play, and even released his first song on Spotify. Clearly, he’s not just a business mind; he's a creative soul with a unique perspective on what it means to be authentic in our work and communication.

We kick off the episode by diving into Antoni’s creative pursuits, including his Christmas song written for fellow speakers—because it’s important to show you’re more than just your job title. We talk about bringing humanity and authenticity back into business, how being creative makes us more relatable, and why it helps people see us beyond our professional roles.

From there, the conversation moves into pivotal moments in Antoni’s journey that led him to recognize communication as his superpower, such as being the only seven-year-old at a parent-teacher meeting brave enough to raise his hand—and discovering the impact that being listened to can have on a young mind. We discuss the importance of listening and encouragement for children, and how that applies to interactions throughout our lives. We also touch on research showing how positive recognition drives better team performance, and how small acts of kindness—like simply saying “good morning”—can profoundly elevate workplace culture.

Here’s what we covered:


Antoni’s creative journey and the value of authenticity


How pivotal childhood moments and being listened to shaped his confidence


The impact of positive recognition and kindness in the workplace


Practical ways to build confidence and get into the right mindset before communicating


The three communication superpowers: empathy, clarity, and energy


How to balance these superpowers for world-class communication


The importance of emotional intelligence and practicing new habits


The role of analog vs. digital communication and what AI means for human connection


Why SMART goals might not be enough, and the alternative model of HAPPY goals


Encouragement for listeners to use their voice to make a difference

By the end of this episode, you’ll know the secret ingredients to speaking with confidence—and why your words truly matter. Thanks for listening, and as always, remember: your voice has the power to change the world.

Connect with Antoni:

Website: https://www.antonilacinai.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lacinai/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/antonilacinai/

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Have you ever wondered why some networking conversations feel awkward and stale while others just flow with authenticity and connection? In today’s episode of Speaking with Confidence, I tackle exactly that question: why those standard "What do you do?" Icebreakers fail so spectacularly, especially with Gen Z, and how you can transform surface-level small talk into meaningful, memorable conversations.

I dive deep into the challenges of genuine communication in both personal and professional settings. As someone who's spent years studying and coaching communication, I've seen too many capable people get overlooked not because they're not ready, but because they haven't learned how to confidently show up and connect. This episode is all about stepping off the script and embracing authenticity in every conversation that counts.

In this episode, I walk you through my Connection Catalyst framework, designed to help you shift from fact-finding to insight discovery, and show you how strategic curiosity can make you stand out in any room, especially if you’re looking to connect with Gen Z or anyone craving genuine dialogue over tired transactional questions.

Here’s what we covered in this episode:


Why typical networking questions ("What do you do?", "Where are you from?") rarely create real connection


The psychology behind scriptive responses and why Gen Z sees right through transactional conversations


How boring questions signal a lack of curiosity, and why deep, value-driven questions build trust


The three principles of the Connection Catalyst: moving from information to insight, creating a value exchange, and building momentum for deeper conversations


Examples of transforming closed questions into open-ended ones that uncover beliefs, vulnerabilities, and real stories (like replacing "Do you like your job?" with "What's a belief you had about your industry that turned out to be completely wrong?")


The importance of the hidden value exchange in networking how strategic questions demonstrate genuine interest and build social capital


Practical tips for weaving strategic curiosity into your conversations without sounding robotic, including the use of conversational bridges and active listening


Why building rapport matters before diving into deeper questions, and how to keep the conversation comfortable and engaging


A challenge for listeners: replace one standard question in your next conversation with a strategic one and notice the change in dynamic


Reminders on progress over perfection, and resources for public speaking and communication improvement

If you want actionable ways to upgrade your networking skills and create conversations that matter, this episode will give you the tools and the confidence to do just that. Listen in, and let’s start having dialogues that actually build connection, not just check boxes.
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Have you ever wondered what separates an effective leader from a high-performing technician, and how personal branding can make or break your success? Today’s episode of Speaking with Confidence dives deep into these questions with practical wisdom, actionable steps, and a fresh perspective on leadership in the modern world.

I’m Tim Newman, your host—recovering college professor, communication coach, and curious asker of big questions. This week, I had the pleasure of speaking with Walter Dusseldorp, better known as the Dutch Mentor. Walter’s journey is a fascinating one: from aspiring physician and paramedic, to executive leader, pilot, mentor, and now founder of the Pure Leadership Power program and the Smart Performance app. His story is packed with lessons on adaptability, growth, and communication that anyone can apply.

We started with Walter’s unique background, touching on his formative experiences in Holland, responding to 9/11 as a paramedic, and catching the flying bug that led him to pursue piloting as both passion and profession. Walter shared insights about transitions, living with purpose, and the moment that changed his outlook: realizing that dreams need to be lived today, not put off for tomorrow.

From there, we explored Walter’s evolution from technical roles into mentoring and coaching—how he recognized a need for better leadership, saw the gap between technical expertise and people skills, and decided to help others make that pivotal transition. He shared how a growth mindset and continuous learning are essential for becoming an effective communicator and leader, emphasizing the importance of vulnerability, seeking mentorship, and taking ownership of your own development.

If you’re looking for concrete steps to amplify your leadership, hone your communication skills, and clarify your “why,” this conversation is for you. Here’s what we covered in this episode:


Walter’s journey from paramedic and pilot to leadership mentor


The power of transitions and living with purpose


Moving from technical expertise to effective leadership


Why communication is the number one reason teams fail—and how to fix it


The importance of continuous learning, growth mindset, and daily habits


Building and protecting your personal brand (and what mistakes to avoid)


The difference between mentoring and coaching


Outward-facing leadership and the need for confident humility


Why vulnerability and seeking mentorship accelerate your growth


Creating a “why” statement that differentiates you in interviews and organizations


The perils of groupthink, how it devastated the Challenger mission and companies like Blockbuster


The importance of dialogue, civil discourse, and learning to speak the language of younger generations


Practical frameworks for leadership, including Lean Six Sigma and the Pure Leadership Power program


Walter’s Smart Performance app: what it offers and how to get involved

Walter brings a rare mix of technical expertise, personal experience, and pragmatic Dutch wisdom, making this episode one of our most insight-packed to date. If you’re ready to take your leadership to the next level and create a brand that truly reflects who you are, tune in!

You can connect with Walter on LinkedIn, Instagram, YouTube, or email him directly at [email protected]. The Smart Performance app launches January 1st—reach out if you’re interested in joining as a founding member.

Thanks for listening to Speaking with Confidence. Remember: your voice has the power to change the world.

Connect with Walter:

Website: https://www.thedutchmentor.com  

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/walter-dusseldorp-mba-fache-8965b610/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thedutchmentor

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Are you an introvert who’s ever felt pressured to be “more outgoing” at work? Maybe you’ve been told to “speak up more” or “just be charismatic”—but trying on someone else’s style feels fake and leaves you burnt out. What if your natural quietness isn’t the obstacle everyone says it is, but actually your biggest professional edge? That’s the question we’re diving into in this episode of Speaking with Confidence.

I’m Tim Newman, your host—a recovering college professor turned communication coach, and today’s episode is all about turning the corporate world’s obsession with extroversion on its head. We’ll explore the evidence that introverts not only belong in high-visibility roles, but often outperform their extroverted colleagues, especially when it comes to leadership and influence.

In this episode, I get real about the exhaustion introverts feel under non-stop pressure to network and perform. I break down research from top journals that shows the loudest voice isn’t necessarily the most influential. Instead, introverted professionals possess some major superpowers: deep listening, keen observation, and a thoughtful approach that builds psychological safety and trust on teams.

Here’s what we cover in this jam-packed episode:


The myth of extroversion as the only model for leadership (and what the latest research says instead)


How introverts’ natural strength as listeners can build powerful trust and influence within teams


A practical explanation of the 80/20 listening rule for meetings, so you can contribute with confidence and precision


Turning your natural tendency to pause before speaking into a deliberate mark of thoughtfulness (not hesitation)


The “pause and pivot” technique: responding to tough questions without panic or filler, and commanding the room when you do speak


A real-life coaching case study to show these strategies in action


The Precision Protocol: a simple, three-step framework for making every contribution count by preparing smarter, bridging smoothly into discussion, and dropping concise, value-packed insights


How using these strengths consistently can build a reputation as the person everyone wants to hear from—no fake charisma required


The unique power of this approach for Gen Z professionals, remote workers, and anyone seeking greater authenticity in the workplace


A quick-start action step so you can begin leveraging your introvert edge for your next big meeting

I wrap up with a reminder: Progress beats perfection, and your voice—used thoughtfully—can transform your entire team, project, or organization.

If you want to go deeper, be sure to check out my conversation with Stacy Chasen from January for even more strategies for quiet communicators. And don’t forget to visit speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com for your free resources and to sign up for my new course.

Remember, your quiet nature is a strength you just haven’t been shown how to use—until now. Thanks for tuning in, and I’ll talk to you next time!
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