The Midlife Feast

What is acceptance is the requirement for growht? What would life look like if you just stopped trying to fix yourself? 
That's the question at the heart of this conversation with returning guest Alli Spotts-De Lazzer, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Eating Disorders Specialist who has spent nearly 20 years working with people around eating, body image, and the experience of living in a body.
We dig into why self-esteem is a shaky foundation in midlife, when opinions of ourselves rise and fall with every hormonal shift and identity change. Alli's working definition of self-acceptance cuts deeper: choosing to stay with yourself even when shame, judgment, ego, or fear try to pull you away. It's knowing yourself, plus self-compassion, plus the willingness to face reality.
The biggest misunderstanding we tackle: acceptance is not resignation. Resignation says "it is what it is, there's nothing I can do." Acceptance says "it is what it is. What's next?" One keeps you stuck. The other creates the conditions for growth.
We also do a live, unscripted experiment using my own belly and body image history, which turned into one of the most unexpectedly moving moments I've had on this podcast. 
Alli also shares news about her new book, My Child Has an Eating Disorder: An Essential Guide for Parents of Kids, Teens, and Adults (Bloomsbury Academic, 2026).
Connect with Alli: Website: allispottsdelazzer.com Instagram: @allispottsdelazzer
Related episodes:
#57 - Story Session: What this therapist wants you to know about making midlife meaningFULL with Alli Spotts-De Lazzer
#141 - Trusting Your Body: Finding Peace Through Grief with Nina Manolson
#92 - From Body Grief to Body Acceptance: The Way Forward with Amanda Mittman, RD 
#109 - The Body Acceptance Mistake That's Keeping You Stuck in the Suck 
What did you think of this episode? Click here and let me know!
📚 I wrote a book! Eat To Thrive During Menopause is out now!  Order your copy today and start thriving in midlife.
Looking for more about midlife,  menopause nutrition, and intuitive eating? Click here to grab one of my free guides and learn what I've got "on the menu" including my 1:1 and group programs. https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/links

I sat down with Cadence Dubus, founder of Brooklyn Strength, host of the Busybody Podcast, and we talked about why midlife movement gets so complicated when you’ve been trained to chase fitness rules, perfect routines, and a specific body. We unpack how to rebuild trust so movement supports real life, not a pass-fail scoreboard.
Why the "one size fits all" fitness world was never designed for bodies that cycle, fluctuate, and change (like ours)
How metrics like step counts and Apple Watch data may be creating noise instead of information
The difference between being a baker (give me a formula!) and a cook (I'll figure it out), and why both are valid starting points
What it actually looks like to work with someone on movement from a somatic, body-centered approach
How to know if you're doing "enough," and why your body's cravings are more reliable than any tracker
Why joy and play might be the most underrated missing ingredients in midlife fitness culture
About Cadence Dubus: Cadence Dubus is the founder of Brooklyn Strength, a 16-year-old fitness and wellness company offering movement coaching and courses virtually and in person. She is also the host of the Busybody Podcast. Cadence's work is rooted in somatic movement, body autonomy, and helping people find sustainable fitness practices that fit their actual lives. Find her on Instagram at @brooklynstrength and at www.brooklynstrength.com
Related episodes you'll love:
How to Un-Diet Your Relationship with Movement in Midlife with Christine Chessman
New Moves in Menopause with Dr. Maria Luque 
What did you think of this episode? Click here and let me know!
📚 I wrote a book! Eat To Thrive During Menopause is out now!  Order your copy today and start thriving in midlife.
Looking for more about midlife,  menopause nutrition, and intuitive eating? Click here to grab one of my free guides and learn what I've got "on the menu" including my 1:1 and group programs. https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/links

I'm bringing back one of my favourite conversations this week because May is Osteoporosis Awareness Month, and this topic is too important to let it gather dust in the archive.
If you've ever left a bone density scan feeling more confused than when you walked in, or got a result that said "osteopenia" and weren't quite sure whether to panic or carry on as normal, this episode is for you.
In this conversation, I'm joined by Rebekah Rotstein, Pilates instructor, movement educator, and founder of the Buff Bones method. Rebekah was diagnosed with osteoporosis at 28, which means she has been living with and studying this topic for nearly two decades. She brings a perspective that is part patient, part expert, and very relatable.
We get into what bone density testing actually measures and where it falls short, why osteopenia is not something to brush off or ignore, what strength training for your bones really looks like (and why you do not need to be standing in front of a weight rack to do it), and the important difference between your bone density conversation and your fracture risk conversation. They are parallel, but they are not the same thing.
I also share my own take on calcium and why the "just take a supplement" approach has underperformed, and what it really means to nourish your bones with the whole capsule, not just one ingredient.
About Rebekah Rotstein: Rebekah Rotstein is a Pilates instructor, integrated movement educator, and founder of the Buff Bones method, a medically endorsed exercise system for bone and joint health with certified instructors in more than 30 countries. She serves on the Society for Women's Health Research Bone Health Roundtable and has been advocating for earlier bone screening since her own diagnosis at 28. Find her at buff-bones.com or on Instagram at @gotbuffbones.
Related Episodes You'll Love:
#114 - Beyond the Metrics: Getting Intuitive About Bone Health with Rebekah Rotstein
#65 - The Impact of Movement on Bone Health in Menopause with Niamh Daly 
What did you think of this episode? Click here and let me know!
📚 I wrote a book! Eat To Thrive During Menopause is out now!  Order your copy today and start thriving in midlife.
Looking for more about midlife,  menopause nutrition, and intuitive eating? Click here to grab one of my free guides and learn what I've got "on the menu" including my 1:1 and group programs. https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/links

If you're feeling confused by all the menopause fitness advice, this episode will clear that up for you!
I am so glad to welcome Dr. Maria Luque back to The Midlife Feast. Maria is a menopause fitness expert with a literal PhD in this space, and she is one of the very few people I trust to cut through the noise in the increasingly crowded menopause fitness world. And there is a lot of noise. Self-proclaimed experts, clickbait advice, "you must lift heavy four times a week or your bones will crumble" fear-mongering. No wonder so many of the women I work with feel paralyzed before they even start.
In this conversation, we get into:
Why the fitness space has become a swamp of misinformation, and how to spot it
The Sally story (a composite of so many women I talk to) and why feeling behind is keeping you stuck
Why capacity, not willpower, is the real conversation, and why "we all have the same 24 hours" makes both of us want to punch a wall
Movement snacks, lowering the bar, and Maria's even better idea of throwing the bar away
Why functional goals (lifting your dog, getting up off the toilet at 80, playing with grandkids) are far more sustainable than weight-loss goals
How to celebrate the small wins so you actually want to keep going
The missing ingredient in midlife, and it might not be what you think
This is the conversation I wish every woman in perimenopause and menopause could hear before another fitness influencer convinces her she is failing at something that was never designed for her in the first place.
If clients come to me because they are out of capacity, not out of knowledge, this episode is the same conversation in fitness form. You already know enough. You just need permission to trust yourself.
About Dr. Maria Luque: Dr. Maria Luque is a menopause fitness expert, health science professor, US Air Force veteran, and mother. She holds a PhD in Health Sciences focused on quality of life in menopause, and her work brings a weight-neutral, evidence-based perspective to the often confusing world of fitness in midlife. Her new book, New Moves inMenopause  is out now - https://newmovesinmenopause.com
You can also find her on Instagram @drmarialuque.
Mentioned in this episode:
The Feaster Community (where our Joyful Movement Coordinator Christine Chessman shares no-pressure movement support): www..menopausenutritionist.ca/themidlifefeastcommunity
Related Episodes You'll Love:
#25: Redefining Strength with Dr Maria Luque
#59: Menopause, Movement and Body Image with Dr Maria Luque
#69 How to Un-Diet Your Relationship with Movement in Midlife with Christine Chessman
Order Maria's book here: 
What did you think of this episode? Click here and let me know!
📚 I wrote a book! Eat To Thrive During Menopause is out now!  Order your copy today and start thriving in midlife.
Looking for more about midlife,  menopause nutrition, and intuitive eating? Click here to grab one of my free guides and learn what I've got "on the menu" including my 1:1 and group programs. https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/links

I noticed a three-year stretch where I’m barely in family photos, even though I was there., and I don’t want that for you. In this episode, I share 3 practices to shift away from chasing "flattering" and choosing presence instead, so you can be visible in midlife and stop letting pictures decide how you feel about your body.
I talk about:
Why the point of a picture is the moment, not your good side
Reframing photos as time capsules rather than auditions
How to stop letting selfie culture (and the 99 deleted shots) shape how you see yourself
The reframe I borrowed from a recent guest that I cannot stop thinking about: visibility is generosity
Why staying in the picture is one of the most powerful things you can do for the women coming up behind yo

I’m sure you have a friend who needs to hear this, so I’d love if you’d share this episode with them! And if this episode helps you keep a photo instead of deleting it, I would love to hear that too. You can always send me fan mail through the podcast website.
This summer, your only assignment is to be in the photo. You don't have to love it. You don't have to feel beautiful in it. You just have to be in it. The moment matters. The world needs more pictures of midlife women living in their bodies.
If this episode resonates and you want real support around body image before summer hits, there are still a couple of spots left in my six-week Midlife Body Image Lab if you're listening before May 16th. 
Related Episodes You'll Love:
#182: Visibility as Generosity, Rethinking Photos, Aging and Confidence with Kristen Vallejo
#190: Menopause and Body Image: How to Feel Like Yourself Again
What did you think of this episode? Click here and let me know!
📚 I wrote a book! Eat To Thrive During Menopause is out now!  Order your copy today and start thriving in midlife.
Looking for more about midlife,  menopause nutrition, and intuitive eating? Click here to grab one of my free guides and learn what I've got "on the menu" including my 1:1 and group programs. https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/links