The Art of Charm is where self-motivated people, just like you, come to learn from the company’s coaches about to how to master human dynamics, relationships, a...
In today's episode, we explore the transformative power of defiance and the role it plays in aligning with our values with Dr. Sunita Sah, a renowned expert in decision-making and organizational psychology. A professor, speaker, and consultant, Dr. Sah empowers leaders to navigate complex ethical landscapes and make principled choices. As the author of Defy: The Power of No in a World That Demands Yes, she redefines what it means to stand up for your values, offering practical tools to resist undue influence and cultivate moral courage.
Join us for an eye-opening conversation with Dr. Sunita Sah as she redefines what it means to say "no" in a world that pressures us to say "yes." Why do we so often comply with demands that go against our values? How can we cultivate the courage to resist undue influence while staying true to ourselves? Dr. Sah delves into the psychology of defiance, the societal impact of compliance, and the powerful ripple effects of standing up for what matters most. Learn how to align your actions with your core values, navigate social pressure with confidence, and become a moral maverick in both your personal and professional life. Discover actionable strategies to unlock the transformative power of principled defiance and reshape the world around you.
What to Listen For
Introduction – 00:00:00
Why is defiance often misunderstood, and how can it be a proactive force for positive change?
What is Dr. Sah’s new definition of defiance, and how does it differ from traditional perceptions?
Why is acting in accordance with your values crucial in resisting social pressure?
How do everyday acts of compliance and dissent shape society at large?
Understanding Social Pressure and Compliance – 00:06:09
How does societal conditioning teach us to equate compliance with goodness?
What is insinuation anxiety, and how does it inhibit people from resisting bad advice?
Why do so many professionals, from healthcare workers to airline crew members, hesitate to speak up in critical situations?
The Defiance Compass: A Framework for Decision-Making – 00:18:45
What are the five elements required for true defiance, and how do they align with the concept of informed consent?
How can identifying your core values and understanding a situation help you determine when to defy?
What are the psychological and physical costs of living out of alignment with your values?
How does chronic compliance lead to burnout, stress, and regret?
Why is acknowledging and addressing your internal tension a critical step toward principled defiance?
Building the Courage to Defy – 00:28:09
How can practicing defiance in low-stakes situations help you build the confidence to act in higher-stakes moments?
Why is visualization and scripting important for preparing to act on your values?
How can asking clarifying questions like “What do you mean by that?” create powerful ripple effects in group dynamics?
Becoming a Moral Maverick – 00:46:04
What does it mean to be a moral maverick, and how can practicing defiance create lasting change?
How do small acts of principled defiance lead to greater personal fulfillment and societal impact?
What mindset shifts are required to stop equating compliance with being good and embrace defiance as a positive force?
How can understanding and practicing principled defiance improve your personal and professional relationships?
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57:38
Decision Making For Better Relationships | Dan Ariely
In today’s episode, we discuss the science of human decision-making and behavior with Dan Ariely, a world-renowned expert in psychology and behavioral economics. As the James B. Duke Professor of Psychology and Behavioral Economics at Duke University, Dan has dedicated his career to uncovering the irrational patterns that drive our decisions. He’s the author of multiple bestselling books, including Predictably Irrational, The Upside of Irrationality, and The Honest Truth About Dishonesty, where he explores the predictable mistakes we make and how understanding them can lead to better outcomes in life, business, and relationships.
Join us for an eye-opening conversation with Dan Ariely as he explores the hidden biases and patterns that influence our decisions, from everyday choices to life-altering moments. Why do we often invest more time deciding on small purchases than major life decisions? How does regret shape our behavior, and why do we favor inaction over action? Dan shares powerful insights into the psychological forces at play in our decision-making, the tension between market and social norms, and how to build habits and environments that support better outcomes.
What to Listen For
Introduction – 00:00:00
What is regret, and how does it bias us toward inaction over action?
How did Dan’s experience in the hospital lead to groundbreaking research on irrational behaviors?
Why do people spend more time on medium-sized decisions than life-changing ones like marriage or buying a house?
What does Dan’s research reveal about indecision and its long-term costs?
Overcoming Indecision and the Role of Regret – 00:07:24
How does regret influence our tendency to avoid taking action?
What mental strategies can we use to frame decisions more effectively and reduce indecision?
Why is setting a deadline a critical tool for making tough choices?
Building Habits and Simplifying Decisions – 00:17:45
Why is it essential to focus on process rather than outcome when evaluating decisions?
How can creating rituals and habits reduce decision fatigue and lead to better outcomes?
What are Dan’s personal strategies for avoiding temptation and building productive habits?
Market Norms vs. Social Norms – 00:31:56
What are market norms and social norms, and why do they often conflict?
How can introducing financial incentives harm social motivations?
Why is it difficult to shift back to social norms once market norms dominate a relationship?
Trust, Relationships, and Long-Term Success – 00:40:02
How does trust develop in long-term relationships, and why does it thrive under social norms?
What role does empathy play in fostering trust and cooperation?
Why are open-ended interactions more effective at building trust than transactional exchanges?
Actionable Insights for Better Decision-Making – 00:46:00
How can we overcome regret, procrastination, and indecision in daily life?
Why should we prioritize the quality of our decision-making process over the unpredictability of outcomes?
What steps can leaders take to cultivate trust and align their organizations with social norms?
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55:08
Emotional Bids: The Key To Thriving Relationships | Toolbox
In today's episode, we show you the cheat code to building deep relationships with AJ, Johnny, and Coach Michael.
Discover the secret language of connection in today’s episode as AJ, Johnny, and Coach Michael dive into the concept of emotional bids — the small, powerful moments that make or break our relationships. Why are emotional bids so vital to our personal and professional lives? How can we recognize them, and what happens when we ignore them? AJ and Johnny break down the science of emotional bids, share practical strategies to strengthen your connections, and reveal how simple shifts in awareness can transform the way you interact with others. Whether you're looking to deepen your personal relationships or enhance your influence at work, this episode is packed with actionable insights to help you build lasting, meaningful bonds.
What to Listen For
Introduction – 00:00:00
What are emotional bids, and how do they serve as subtle invitations to connect?
Why do so many relationships fail due to a lack of awareness about emotional bids?
Why is recognizing emotional bids a critical skill for relationship success?
How does ignoring your partner’s emotional bids lead to disconnection and eventually the end of the relationship?
The Science of Emotional Bids – 0:07:30
How can you predict the success or failure of a relationship based on 3 minutes of interaction?
What role does active listening play in identifying emotional bids during everyday conversations?
Why is it essential to focus on the emotions behind the words, rather than just the words themselves?
What strategies can make you more memorable and likable after just one conversation?
How to Identify Emotional Bids – 0:18:48
What exactly is an emotional bid and how do you recognize them in conversation or in your relationship?
What are the Most Common Emotional Bids? – 0:27:30
What are common types of emotional bids, such as bids for attention or emotional support?
What does it mean to "turn toward" an emotional bid, and why is it the foundation of lasting relationships?
How can "turning away" or "turning against" emotional bids contribute to relationship breakdowns?
What are the three ways to respond to emotional bids, and which response guarantees failure?
Leverage Emotional Bids for the Strongest Relationship – 0:48:02
What simple exercises can help you become more aware of emotional bids in your daily interactions?
How can a lack of attention to emotional bids lead to divorce or long-term relationship issues?
Why do emotional bids reflect vulnerability, and how does responding positively encourage deeper connection and trust?
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1:01:37
Three Instincts Of Tribalism and Office Culture | Michael Morris
In today's episode, we talk about the value of tribalism with Michael Morris, the Chavkin-Chang Professor of Leadership at Columbia Business School and a Professor of Psychology at Columbia University. A renowned expert in leadership, negotiation, and cultural psychology, he has published over 200 articles in leading journals and recently released his book Tribal, exploring how leaders can harness shared cultural identities to unite and mobilize teams.
Join us for a thought-provoking conversation about the profound role of tribalism in shaping civilization and fostering healthy societies. Why is tribalism more than just a relic of the past? How does the social brain hypothesis explain our innate drive to connect and form groups? Michael Morris sheds light on how human mimicry sets us apart from other species, why tribalism has become such a heated topic, and how it can create vastly different perceptions of reality among people we interact with daily. Discover how politicians leverage tribalism to gain influence, when it becomes toxic to society, and the best ways to navigate relationships in a world divided by differing values.
What to Listen For
Introduction – 00:00:00
Why is tribalism a blessing to civilization and a healthy society?
What is the social brain hypothesis and how does it impact you tribally?
The Hardwiring of Tribalism in Your Brain – 00:12:44
What are the 3 instincts that are hardwired into your brain?
How does tribalism protect you, your family, your culture, and nation?
How does mimicry set humans apart from other animals that also exhibit mimicry?
The Big Deal of Tribalism – 00:23:46
Why and when did tribalism become a controversial topic?
Why do certain tribes have such different values?
How Tribalism Shapes Your Worldview – 00:30:17
How can tribalism create a completely different perception of reality from people you interact with everyday?
What factors influence the development or destruction of a tribe?
Tribalism, Politics, and Grass Roots Movements – 00:41:34
How do politicians leverage tribalism to gain popularity and influence?
At what point does tribalism become toxic to a society and what’s the best way to handle it when you know people in other tribes?
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1:01:17
Escape the 9 to 5 and Build An Owner's Mindset | Codie Sanchez
In today's episode, we explore the transformative power of entrepreneurship and the ownership mindset with Codie Sanchez, an innovative investor, entrepreneur, and author. Codie is the visionary behind Main Street Millionaire, a groundbreaking book that redefines wealth creation by focusing on acquiring small, profitable businesses instead of starting from scratch. With a background in finance and years of experience at powerhouse firms like Goldman Sachs and Vanguard, Codie has become a leading voice in the art of creative deal-making and sustainable business growth. She’s helped thousands transition from the 9-to-5 grind to financial freedom, leveraging strategies that prioritize cash flow, scalability, and lifestyle design.
Join us for an eye-opening conversation with Codie Sanchez as she reveals the untapped potential of acquiring small, profitable businesses to build financial freedom and a life of purpose. What makes buying an existing business less risky—and often more lucrative—than starting one from scratch? How can shifting from an employee to an owner mindset transform your career and lifestyle? Codie dives into the strategies and mindset shifts needed to uncover undervalued opportunities, negotiate creative deals, and scale businesses to achieve cash flow and equity growth. Whether you're an aspiring entrepreneur or a seasoned professional looking to make a leap, this episode is packed with actionable insights to help you think like an owner, build wealth, and take control of your future.
What to Listen For
Introduction – 00:00:00
What does Codie see as the deeper purpose behind entrepreneurship and financial independence?
How can you shift from thinking like an employee to thinking like an owner?
What limiting beliefs hold people back from pursuing entrepreneurship, and how can they overcome them?
The Power of Small, Profitable Businesses – 00:10:44
How can you uncover undervalued businesses and transform them into lucrative opportunities?
Why is it essential to learn from others’ experience, and how can “stealing” their 10,000 hours accelerate your journey?
How can creative deal structures make owning a business more accessible than most people think?
Building Wealth Through Acquisitions – 00:17:42
How can strategic acquisitions help you grow your income, expand your customer base, or attract top talent?
Why does Codie believe buying multiple small businesses compounds both wealth and freedom?
What steps can you take to apply the “rich” framework (Research, Invest, Command, Harness) in your journey to business ownership?
Finding Your First Business to Buy – 00:30:17
What should you look for in your first acquisition to ensure it’s a wise investment?
In what ways can leveraging your skills and network make the difference in finding the right business to buy?
Why do “boring” businesses often lead to higher profits and lower competition?
What should you look for in a potential business partner and mentor?
Where should you look to get great deals on businesses for sale?
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The Art of Charm is where self-motivated people, just like you, come to learn from the company’s coaches about to how to master human dynamics, relationships, and becoming your best self with the help of Johnny and AJ, the company’s founders. Johnny and AJ bring their 11 years of coaching experience from their famous Bootcamps, where they host clients in Los Angeles from all over the world and they share their stories, best practices and themselves on this weekly podcast. Not only does The Art of Charm help everyday people, including active members of the military, learn how to become higher performers, better spouses, partners, and coworkers, they dig deep into human behavior, the science behind it, and demystify what we do and why we do it.
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