Grow the Good

Sometimes it's hard to say what you mean. Oren Jay Sofer says, "Communication is a learnable skill and it’s one of the most powerful levers for making change in your life and the world." Non-violent communication is about taking responsibility for what we are experiencing using empathy, deep listening, know how to make requests.
// This episode is a replay from the Sonya Looney Show. It originally aired October 22, 2020. //
Author and renowned meditation instructor Oren Jay Sofer regularly teaches a mindful approach to non-violent communication. spent two and a half years of living as an Anagarika (renunciate) at branch monasteries in the Ajahn Chah Thai Forest lineage. Today, his teaching combines classical Buddhist training with the accessible language of secular mindfulness.  Since the early 2000s, Oren has had a deep interest in the relationship between contemplative practice and communication. A graduate of the BayNVC North American Leadership Training, he has taught classes and workshops in Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication (NVC) nationally since 2006. His innovative retreats and online programs in Mindful Communication offer one of the only opportunities in the U.S today to explore the intersection between formal meditation practice, Right Speech and NVC.  Oren  is the founder and Guiding Teacher of Next Step Dharma, an innovative online course focused on bringing the tools of meditation to daily life, and co-founder of Mindful Healthcare.  Oren has created mindfulness programs for organizations, companies, and apps including Apple, Kaiser Permanente, Lumosity, Calm, 10% Happier, Simple Habit and others.
I loved his book, Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication.  In the book, a main theme is that every thought or feeling is there to try to meet a need.  If you can try to figure out what need your thoughts are tied to, it's easier to articulate what you need to those around you.  It's also useful when listening to someone in a disucssion or conflict to tease out what need they are trying to have met.  I also enjoyed learning about conflict and viewing it as a way to deepen relationships. I also learned that non-violent communication and conflict resolution isn't necessarily to try to get someone to do things your way, it's about deepening understanding of one another because sometimes we simply can't agree to have the same viewpoint.   Non-violent communication has a framework of observation, the feeling, the needs and values to be met, and the request.
Three questions you can ask yourself are what happened, how do I feel about it, and why?
I also loved learning about how to use mindfulness in listening and communication as well as how to ground yourself in your own body when tensions rise.

Topics Discussed in the Podcast 
from childhood actor to meditation instructor
4 types of conflict avoidance
self-empathy
tools for internal pressure
No mud, no lotus
addressing the voiceless and gender constructs
how to make requests of others

Resources
Oren Jay Sofer's website
Get Oren's book: Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication

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The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.

What if the version of “success” you’ve been chasing is actually keeping you stuck in survival mode?
In this episode, I sit down with author and coach Jon Rosemberg to talk about what it really means to move from high-functioning survival into genuine thriving. Jon shares his deeply personal story of growing up in Caracas, Venezuela, living in chronic vigilance, and eventually discovering that achievement and productivity were not the same thing as peace, agency, or well-being.
This conversation hit me on a very personal level. So much of what Jon shares mirrors my own journey of questioning performance-based definitions of success, asking whether external accomplishments actually create the feeling I’m looking for, and realizing that thriving often has much more to do with connection, meaning, and agency than with metrics.
We talk about the body’s role in helping us recognize survival mode, how to challenge the beliefs that keep us trapped in proving and performing, and Jon’s practical AIR framework: Awareness, Inquiry, and Reframing.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing all the “right” things but still feel off, disconnected, or chronically on edge, this conversation is for you.
Here’s what you’ll learn:
Thriving is not the same as success
Survival mode can look high-functioning
Somatic awareness matters
Agency can be practiced
Connection is essential to thriving
LINKS
Follow Jon on Instagram
Visit Jon's website to learn more about his book
Meaningful Work with Tamara Myles and Wes Adams
Defining and Feeling Success 
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The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.

I’ve known Jenny Smith since the early 2000s, back when I was a brand-new pro mountain biker watching her absolutely dominate at Nationals. She’s been a mentor, a competitor, a mom who kept racing when that wasn’t common, and someone I’ve always admired for her longevity in sport.
In this episode, Jenny and I talk honestly about aging as female endurance athletes, especially navigating perimenopause, hormone changes, recovery shifts, strength training, anxiety, inflammation, and evolving expectations.
We discuss how training needs to change as estrogen fluctuates and why strength training becomes even more important for bone health, metabolic health, and performance. Jenny shares the reality of needing more recovery, setting goals that reflect your life stage and responsibilities, and how to embrace aging with flexibility, wisdom, and self-compassion instead of fear. Plus, we cover hormone replacement therapy and getting medical support.
This conversation is for women who love endurance sport and want to keep performing, not by pretending nothing is changing, but by adapting. Aging doesn’t mean decline, it can mean agency.
Here’s what you’ll learn:
Perimenopause changes training needs
Strength training is non-negotiable for aging athletes
Recovery matters more than ever
Goal setting must evolve with life stage
Aging brings wisdom and agency

LINKS

Follow Jenny Smith Coaching
Learn more about Aim High Performance
Authenticity and managing pressure with Sarah Sturm
Aging athletes with Joel Friel
How women should train differently with Dr. Stacy Simms

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The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.

The most valuable skill I’ve ever learned isn’t about performance, mindset, or even resilience. It’s communication.
In this solo episode, I’m teaching you one of the most powerful tools I use as a coach, mentor, professor at the University of Pennsylvania, keynote speaker, parent, and partner. It comes from motivational interviewing and it’s called OARS: Open-ended questions, Affirmations, Reflective listening, and Summarizing.
These skills have completely changed how I show up in conversations. They’ve made me a better coach, teacher, partner, mom, and human.
Motivational interviewing is a client-centered communication approach designed to guide people toward what matters most to them. Instead of telling someone what to do (which often undermines autonomy and competence), this framework helps people feel heard, understood, and empowered to make their own decisions.
In this episode, I walk you through what active listening really means (and why most of us aren’t actually doing it) and how to ask open-ended questions that deepen conversations. I discuss how affirmations and reflective listening builds trust and shared understanding. I also give real-life examples you can use immediately with your partner, your kids, your team at work, or your friends.
And yes, we talk about AI. Because as AI handles more intellectual tasks, our human communication skills will matter even more.
If you want stronger relationships, better conflict management, and deeper connection in your personal and professional life, this episode gives you one skill to practice today. 
Top 5 Takeaways:
Communication is a partnership, not a directive
Open-ended questions deepen conversations
Reflective listening builds trust
Affirmations reinforce strengths and values
In an AI-driven world, human communication skills are a competitive advantage

LINKS
- Learn about meditation from Oren Jay Sofer
- Episode on how to be a better communicator
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The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.

Many of us know what burnout looks like: exhaustion, cynicism, and the feeling that we simply can’t keep going. But there’s another state that shows up far more often and it’s easier to miss. It’s called brownout.
In this episode, I sit down with Jessie Reese, leadership and executive development specialist and positive psychology practitioner, to unpack the critical difference between brownout and burnout, and why so many high-achieving people, especially women, are quietly living in that in-between space.
Jess shares her environmental alignment model, a practical framework that helps you see how all parts of your life (work, caregiving, relationships, health, identity, and invisible labor) draw from the same energy reservoir. Together, we explore why adding more self-improvement often backfires, and why the most powerful move is often asking a different question: “What is the most impactful thing I can do to relieve pressure right now?”
We also talk about the cultural pressure to “do it all,” why trying to make everything a top priority leads to depletion, and how real alignment requires honest reflection on your values, not an external definition of success or a past version of yourself.
If you’re feeling stretched thin, quietly overwhelmed, or wondering why rest doesn’t seem to work anymore, this conversation will help you name what’s happening and give you a clearer path forward.

My Top 5 Takeaways
Brownout often comes before burnout and it’s easier to miss because you’re still functioning.
Your energy reservoir is shared across your whole life, not just work.
Relieving pressure is more effective than adding habits when you’re depleted.
You can’t make everything the #1 priority and trying to do so leads to misalignment.
True fulfillment requires redefining “having it all” based on your current values, constraints, and season of life.
Jessie's Links and Work:
Connect with Jessie on LinkedIn 
 Read Jessie's MAPP Capstone The Tipping Point: Executive Burnout, Brownout, and Realignment 
MAPP Magazine Article - Running on Half Power: Why Women Burnout and How to Reclaim Alignment by Jessie Reese 
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The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.