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This Was Always Me

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This Was Always Me
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  • Hiding Behind the Uniform: Retired Met officer Josi Clay on coming out as a trans woman
    Josi Clay always knew she was different. But growing up in the 1950s, there were no words for how she felt - only the fear that telling anyone could destroy her future. So she stayed silent.At 19, Josi joined the Met Police. For 47 years, she served as a respected officer rising through the ranks and hiding a truth that could have ended her career. By the time she was 60, she was living as a woman in every part of her life… except at work.Josi speaks to Rich Clarke about identity, resilience, and what it means to finally be seen.
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  • Decades of Silence: Norman Goodman on surviving aversion therapy & embracing his bisexual identity in his 70s
    Norman Goodman knew he was different from a young age. But it was seen as a mental illness. He faced aversion therapy and electroconvulsive therapy to ‘cure’ his feelings. For decades, Norman hid his bisexuality, even from himself, and lived a life as a husband and nurse.It wasn’t until after his wife Marilyn passed away that Norman found the courage to come out publicly. Now in a loving relationship, Norman shares how embracing his true self brought peace... and why telling his story matters for other older LGBTQ+ people still in the shadows.Norman speaks with Rich Clarke about decades of silence, mental health struggles, and finally living openly.📱 Follow us on Instagram and TikTok: @alwaysmepodcast💬 To share your story, email: [email protected]SUPPORT SERVICES LGBTQ+ SupportSwitchboard – LGBTQ+ Helpline • A confidential helpline for LGBTQ+ people to talk about sexuality, gender identity, and more.• Phone: 0800 0119 100• Website: switchboard.lgbtStonewall• Offers support and resources for LGBTQ+ individuals and their families.• Website: stonewall.org.ukOpen Table Network• Phone: 07501753618• Website: opentable.lgbtMental Health & Suicide PreventionSamaritans• For anyone in distress, struggling to cope, or at risk of suicide.• Phone: 116 123 (Free, 24/7)• Website: samaritans.orgMind• Provides advice and support for anyone experiencing a mental health problem.• Phone: 0300 123 3393• Website: mind.org.ukPAPYRUS – Prevention of Young Suicide• Support for people under 35 experiencing suicidal thoughts, and for those concerned about someone else.•Phone: 0800 068 41 41• Website: papyrus-uk.orgShout•A free, confidential mental health text support service.• Text: SHOUT to 85258 (24/7, free text service)• Website: giveusashout.org
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  • From Arranged Marriage & Exorcism to Activism: Moud Goba on escaping Zimbabwe and starting over
    Moud Goba speaks to Rich Clarke about her journey from silence to pride. Growing up in Robert Mugabe’s Zimbabwe, she was taught that being gay was sinful, criminal, and impossible. She faced exorcism, was pushed into an arranged marriage, and eventually fled - leaving her home and family behind.But her fight for freedom didn’t end in the UK. Seeking asylum meant proving her sexuality, living in poverty, and hiding once again... this time in plain sight.Today, Moud is a mother, a leading LGBTQI+ activist, Chair of UK Black Pride, and National Director at Micro Rainbow - helping others build the safe, free life she once only dreamed of.📱 Follow us on Instagram and TikTok: @alwaysmepodcast💬 To share your story, email: [email protected]SUPPORT SERVICES LGBTQ+ SupportSwitchboard – LGBTQ+ Helpline • A confidential helpline for LGBTQ+ people to talk about sexuality, gender identity, and more.• Phone: 0800 0119 100• Website: switchboard.lgbtStonewall• Offers support and resources for LGBTQ+ individuals and their families.• Website: stonewall.org.ukOpen Table Network• Phone: 07501753618• Website: opentable.lgbtMental Health & Suicide PreventionSamaritans• For anyone in distress, struggling to cope, or at risk of suicide.• Phone: 116 123 (Free, 24/7)• Website: samaritans.orgMind• Provides advice and support for anyone experiencing a mental health problem.• Phone: 0300 123 3393• Website: mind.org.ukPAPYRUS – Prevention of Young Suicide• Support for people under 35 experiencing suicidal thoughts, and for those concerned about someone else.•Phone: 0800 068 41 41• Website: papyrus-uk.orgShout•A free, confidential mental health text support service.• Text: SHOUT to 85258 (24/7, free text service)• Website: giveusashout.org
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  • A Love Hidden For 29 Years: Former Conservative MP Sir Nick Gibb and Michael Simmonds on fear, love and coming out in politics
    Sir Nick Gibb and Michael Simmonds have been together for 38 years, but kept their relationship hidden from the world until 2015 - the year they married.Nick knew he was gay from university and accepted it, but as a Conservative MP, he felt he had to keep his personal life private to protect his career.For decades, they lived together but kept up appearances - even owning separate properties and spending holidays apart to avoid suspicion.In this honest and moving conversation with Rich Clarke, they reflect on the long years of secrecy, the toll it took, and the joy and relief of finally sharing their truth with the world.This is a story of quiet love, public pressure, and finally, freedom.📱 Follow us on Instagram and TikTok: @alwaysmepodcast💬 To share your story, email: [email protected]SUPPORT SERVICES LGBTQ+ SupportSwitchboard – LGBTQ+ Helpline • A confidential helpline for LGBTQ+ people to talk about sexuality, gender identity, and more.• Phone: 0800 0119 100• Website: switchboard.lgbtStonewall• Offers support and resources for LGBTQ+ individuals and their families.• Website: stonewall.org.ukOpen Table Network• Phone: 07501753618• Website: opentable.lgbtMental Health & Suicide PreventionSamaritans• For anyone in distress, struggling to cope, or at risk of suicide.• Phone: 116 123 (Free, 24/7)• Website: samaritans.orgMind• Provides advice and support for anyone experiencing a mental health problem.• Phone: 0300 123 3393• Website: mind.org.ukPAPYRUS – Prevention of Young Suicide• Support for people under 35 experiencing suicidal thoughts, and for those concerned about someone else.•Phone: 0800 068 41 41• Website: papyrus-uk.orgShout•A free, confidential mental health text support service.• Text: SHOUT to 85258 (24/7, free text service)• Website: giveusashout.org
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  • 'Created perfect, but made flawed’: Gail Rose on how she found self-acceptance after conversion therapy at Church
    Gail Rose spent decades believing she couldn’t be both gay and Christian.After becoming a young mum and joining a church that preached same-sex attraction was wrong, Gail kept her true self hidden for years, fearing rejection from her faith and loved ones.She speaks with Rich Clarke about living a ‘dual life’, the pain of being outed, and the turning point that made her want to keep going. Gail opens up about losing her place in church, the struggle to be accepted by her son, and how she finally found a community where she could belong.Now 55, she’s happily married to her wife Tina and is an elder in the church that married them.This is a story of faith, love, and finding peace after years of hiding.📱 Follow us on Instagram and TikTok: @alwaysmepodcast💬 To share your story, email: [email protected]SUPPORT SERVICES LGBTQ+ SupportSwitchboard – LGBTQ+ Helpline • A confidential helpline for LGBTQ+ people to talk about sexuality, gender identity, and more.• Phone: 0800 0119 100• Website: switchboard.lgbtStonewall• Offers support and resources for LGBTQ+ individuals and their families.• Website: stonewall.org.ukOpen Table Network• Phone: 07501753618• Website: opentable.lgbtMental Health & Suicide PreventionSamaritans• For anyone in distress, struggling to cope, or at risk of suicide.• Phone: 116 123 (Free, 24/7)• Website: samaritans.orgMind• Provides advice and support for anyone experiencing a mental health problem.• Phone: 0300 123 3393• Website: mind.org.ukPAPYRUS – Prevention of Young Suicide• Support for people under 35 experiencing suicidal thoughts, and for those concerned about someone else.•Phone: 0800 068 41 41• Website: papyrus-uk.orgShout•A free, confidential mental health text support service.• Text: SHOUT to 85258 (24/7, free text service)• Website: giveusashout.org
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    52:42

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About This Was Always Me

Rich Clarke spent years feeling ashamed of his sexuality. Now he meets others who, for many different reasons, kept theirs hidden - and asks why. From Olympic icon Dame Kelly Holmes to a Zimbabwean refugee and a former Conservative MP, these are unflinching stories of secrecy, shame, and survival. Forget the rainbow-washed headlines... coming out isn't always safe, or even possible. Across 12 gripping episodes, Rich explores the emotional cost of hiding who you are, and what it takes to finally live your truth. Raw, heartfelt, and long overdue. These voices are done hiding. 🎧 Subscribe now on Global Player or wherever you get your podcasts. 💬 To share your story, email: [email protected] 📢 For advertising opportunities, contact: [email protected]
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