Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast

Episode Summary:
We all need to work a little harder at resting in contentment… realizing that sometimes marriage is a spectator sport. In a culture that encourages us to find our own happiness, fulfill self, give in to what brings us pleasure, lasting relationships must take a different approach. True selflessness is a reflection of God’s character.
Although recent polls seem to indicate an equal divorce rate between Christians and non-believers, this is not exactly true. People who identify as Christians but rarely attend church have a 60% divorce rate while those who attend church regularly, just 38% have been divorced.
It is easy to get caught up in the tyranny of the urgent and forget the very ingredients that build a healthy marriage. Join me with Nina Roesner as we discuss the role of unconditional respect in a healthy marriage.

Quotables from the episode:
Most people have heard the idea that women need love and men need respect, but in reality, don't we all need a combination of both?
Yes. I think the Bible uses that language to communicate very specifically to husbands and wives about some very specific stuff.
All relationships have challenges but the best ones surmount the hard times, allow these times to build the relationship instead of destroy it, and learn from one another.
Do you respect yourself and others in your relationship through your communication? And I think we need to respect everybody and I think that's a loving thing to do. That's the key. It affects our communication and we can develop resentment, bitterness and unforgiveness over those little things that then stack up and they morph into a life of their own until one day the straw breaks and our spouses left going, "That was not a big deal. You could have just said put your cup in the dishwasher. But the truth is it's built up resentment over time because we don't communicate over the little things until they become a big thing.
We do take things personally and it seems maybe I'm wrong but it just seems like over the past decade we're more quick to take offense over things that really don't need to be offended over all you have to do is turn to social media and see how quickly people are offended. If anyone had a right to be offended, it was Jesus. And yet he modeled for us good communication, forgiveness, love, and respect.
The idea that men need respect is not just part of some formula but an aspect of the gender differences. Men are wired to protect and provide, and knowing they are appreciated is one of the primary ingredients in lasting marriages.
When we get our identity from the Lord, then we're able to appreciate the strengths that God gave us and then bring forth those strengths in the relationship in a way that we weren't before. We are actually useful in that relationship in a way that deeply impacts everything. But so often we buy the lives of the culture and we go down these paths of thinking we're worthless or we're not valued and you know people treat us this way so it reinforces it or we're looking for that because if you have a belief like that you're gonna find it everywhere. But when we really have a solid identity in Christ and I don't pretend I'd be fully there, but I'm so much more there than I used to be. It doesn't matter what people say or do.
On a biological level, God designed this so well, because your brain chemistry changes when you forgive. The other thing is, is it's a humbling activity that puts us in the proper alignment with the Lord because we don't have the right to harbor unforgiveness. We're not judge and jury over this other person, and by the way Christ already paid for that. So who do we think we are? Excuse me, the seat on the throne has been taken. get off, right? So, when we forgive, it's like the brain chemistry changes and we're able to then have a clean slate here.
God uses pain in our lives to mold and shape us. Pain is the biblical path to growth.
It’s not just the church itself that’s the key to a successful marriage; it’s all aspects of faith—prayer, Bible study, gratitude, God-awareness.
It is easy to get caught up in the tyranny of the urgent and forget the very ingredients that build a healthy marriage.
According to recent studies, being a committed, faithful believer makes a measurable difference in marriage.

Recommended Resources:
The Respect Dare: 40 Days to a Deeper Connection with God and Your Husband by Nina Roesner
Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories
Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals
Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.)
Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide
Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win
Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award
Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award
Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue

Social Media Links for Host and Guest:
Connect with Nina Roesner:
Website / Facebook / Instagram
For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:
Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple

Guest:
Nina Roesner is the author of The Respect Dare and With All Due Respect. She serves as the executive director of Greater Impact Ministries. She has more than 20 years in the communications and training industry and has coached church staffs, pastors, executives, and managers. She and her husband, and their three children, live near Cincinnati.

Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson
Audio Technical Support: Ashton Bengtson
Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary:
Today we are diving into a topic that affects millions of people who feel stretched too thin and overwhelmed by life. We are talking about real world tools for managing chronic stress and mental fatigue so you can regain clarity, rebuild your strength, and restore your hope. Chronic stress is not simply an inconvenience. It quietly infiltrates every area of life and disrupts sleep, relationships, thought patterns, mood, and even your sense of spiritual connection. Our goal today is to equip you with proven strategies that help you move from exhaustion to renewal so you can thrive again.
When mental fatigue sets in and stress feels unending, many people assume that feeling overwhelmed is their new normal. But God offers a better way. You can experience renewed strength, restored clarity, and a calm mind even in the middle of challenging seasons. If you long for sustainable emotional wellness, Christ centered stress management tools, and practical ways to quiet your mind, this episode is for you. We want to help you step out of survival mode and experience the peace that God promises. Today we’re going to be talking about Tools for Managing Chronic Stress and Mental Fatigue.
Quotables from the episode:
Chronic stress affects the whole person. It impacts the body, mind, emotions, and even our sense of spiritual grounding.
As a neuropsychologist, I see how the stress response system affects the brain. When people experience stress for long periods of time, the brain becomes over activated. Concentration decreases. Memory becomes foggy. Emotional regulation becomes harder. We feel more reactive and less resilient.
The good news is that the brain is both adaptable and changeable. With consistent tools, we can retrain the mind and restore mental clarity.
It is critical to remember that God did not design our bodies to live in chronic stress.
Chronic stress is the type of ongoing stress that does not resolve quickly. It comes from situations that continue to require emotional or physical energy without enough recovery time.
Chronic stress and mental fatigue are not signs of weakness. They are signs that your body and mind need care. With intentional tools and God’s help, your mind can heal, your body can recover, and your spirit can strengthen.
Scripture References:
Nahum 1:7 “The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in Him.”
Recommended Resources:
Reframing Rejection: How Looking Through a Different Lens Changes Everything By Jessica Van Roekel
Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories
Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals
Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.)
Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide
Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win
Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award
Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award
Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue
Social Media Links for Host and Guest:
Connect with Rev. Jessica Van Roekel:
Website / Instagram / Facebook
For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:
Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple

Co-Host:
Jessica Van Roekel is a worship leader, speaker, and writer who believes that through Jesus, personal histories don’t need to define the present or determine the future. She inspires, encourages, and equips others to look at life through the lenses of hope, trust, and God’s transforming grace. Jessica lives in rural Iowa surrounded by wide open spaces which remind her of God’s expansive love. She loves fun earrings, good coffee, and connecting with others.

Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson
Audio Technical Support: Ashton Bengtson
Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary:
In a world where constant notifications, curated feeds, and digital pressure shape how we see ourselves, many are left feeling more anxious, isolated, and distracted than ever. We long for a life that is full of deep connection with God, ourselves, and others. And yet we’ve become programmed to seek peace, contentment, and happiness from our phones. Deep down, we know this isn’t how we were created to live. As endless scrolling leaves us feeling anxious, depressed, distracted, ad alone, we realize our true needs can’t be met by turning to social media in every slow, mundane moment. If you feel like your digital life could use a reset, this episode is for you.

Quotables from the episode:
Social media can so easily steal our peace, distort our identity, and drain the joy God intends for us, especially when we are already struggling with anxiety, insecurity, or loneliness. That is why I am delighted to welcome Allie Marie Smith, author of Social Media Reset: A 30-Day Guided Journey to Unplug, Reconnect with God, and Reclaim Your Joy. Allie has spent years helping women cultivate mental, emotional, and spiritual wellness, and her newest book offers a practical and faith-filled path to break free from digital overwhelm and rediscover God’s voice above the noise.
In a world where constant notifications, curated feeds, and digital pressure shape how we see ourselves, many are left feeling anxious, isolated, and distracted than ever. We long for a life that is full of deep connection with God, ourselves, and others.
As endless scrolling leaves us feeling anxious, depressed, distracted, and alone, we realize our true needs can't be met by turning to digital media in every slow, mundane moment. If you feel like your digital life could use a reset, this is the episode for you.
Romans 12. 2 summarizes what we're talking about today: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
It impacts each one of us on such a profound level, on a soul level, on a spiritual level, an emotional level, even in our brains and in our bodies.

Scripture References:
Romans 12:2 – “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…”
Isaiah 30:15 – “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength…”

Recommended Resources:
Social Media Reset: A 30-Day Guided Journey to Unplug, Reconnect with God, and Reclaim Your Joy by Allie Marie Smith

Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories
YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms
Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals
YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1
YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2
Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.)
YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip
Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide
Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win
Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award
Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award
Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue

Social Media Links for Host:
Connect with Allie Marie Smith:
Website / Facebook / Instagram
For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:
Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple

About Allie Marie Smith:
Allie Marie Smith is an award-winning author, speaker, and life coach. She is also the founder and CEO of Wonderfully Made, a national nonprofit organization dedicated to helping girls and women know their God-given value and lead flourishing lives. She lives in Santa Barbara County, where she loves writing, playing with horses, surfing, and adventuring up and down the California coast.

Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson
Audio Technical Support: Ashton Bengtson

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary:
Today we’re tackling a topic that hits many people hard each January: “Blue Monday.” You may have heard it called “the most depressing day of the year”: a day when motivation runs low, bills come due, and the sparkle of the holidays fades into the grayness of winter. But is “Blue Monday” real? Why do so many people feel down this time of year? And what can you do, spiritually, emotionally, and physically, to climb out of the slump and find renewed hope?
If you’ve ever felt like the light of Christmas faded too fast or that you’re struggling to find joy in January, this episode is for you. In this episode, I share How to Beat the Blues: Finding Hope When “Blue Monday” Hits. We unpack where the idea of “Blue Monday” came from, what really contributes to winter sadness, how to recognize when it’s more than just a passing mood, and how God invites us to nurture our mind and soul even in the darkest season.
Quotables from the episode:
Every January, the search engines light up with people looking for answers about “Blue Monday.” Some call it the most depressing day of the year. But here’s the truth: God doesn’t mark any day on His calendar as hopeless. Even when science can explain some of the factors that make us feel low, Scripture reminds us in John 1:5 that “the Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”
So today, let’s uncover both the science and the Savior’s invitation to find peace, joy, and renewed perspective, no matter what your calendar says.

Part 1: Where “Blue Monday” Came From
The term “Blue Monday” actually originated not from a psychologist or neuroscientist, but from a marketing campaign in the early 2000s. A British travel company wanted to boost winter vacation sales and partnered with a psychologist to create a formula that supposedly calculated the “most depressing day of the year.”
They based it on factors like weather, debt level, time since Christmas, failed New Year’s resolutions, and low motivation. The date usually lands on the third Monday in January.
But here’s what’s interesting: the science behind it was never validated. It was largely pseudoscience; a catchy idea meant to sell trips to sunny places!
Yet it resonated with people because, truthfully, many do feel a dip in mood this time of year. Why? There’s a real physiological and psychological basis for that.
Shorter daylight hours disrupt our circadian rhythm and lower serotonin levels—our brain’s natural mood stabilizer.
Colder temperatures mean less outdoor activity and fewer endorphins.
Holiday aftermath leaves us financially stretched and emotionally fatigued.
Unmet resolutions of ourselves or others stir up shame or disappointment.
So while “Blue Monday” may not be an official scientific day, it does point to something many experience: what we might call the post-holiday blues or seasonal affective slump.
Part 2: How to Identify It
Let’s talk about how you can tell if what you’re feeling is just a short-term dip or something more concerning.
Here are some common symptoms of the “Blue Monday” slump:
Low motivation or energy
Irritability or tearfulness
Difficulty concentrating
Changes in sleep or appetite
Feeling disconnected or unproductive
Hopeless thoughts like “What’s the point?”
If you’ve noticed these for a few days after the holidays, you’re not alone. Our brains and bodies crave rhythm and light—and winter often disrupts both.
But sometimes, what starts as a temporary funk can evolve into something more serious like Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) or Major Depression.
Part 3: When to Seek Professional Help
Seek professional help if:
Your sadness lasts more than two weeks.
You lose interest in things you usually enjoy.
Your sleep or appetite drastically change.
You feel worthless, helpless, or hopeless.
You find yourself withdrawing from others.
You experience thoughts of death or suicide.
Those are not signs of weakness—they’re signals from your body and brain that you need care and support. Just as you’d seek medical help for persistent pain, it’s wise to seek mental health help for persistent sadness.
As a neuropsychologist, I’ve seen firsthand that depression and anxiety are treatable. There are excellent therapies, medical interventions, and lifestyle approaches that can help. But the first step is reaching out.
And as a believer, I want you to know this: needing help does not make you a failure of faith. God often works through professionals to bring healing. He created our minds and bodies with complexity, and He delights when we care for them wisely.
Remember Elijah in 1 Kings 19? He was exhausted, afraid, and said, “It is enough; now, Lord, take my life.” God didn’t rebuke him. God fed him, let him rest, and then gently spoke truth to him. That’s a model of divine compassion toward our emotional distress.
Part 4: How to Take Care of Yourself
If you’re feeling those “Blue Monday” blues—or a longer winter sadness—here are practical, biblically grounded ways to care for your mind, body, and spirit.
1. Get More Light
Exposure to sunlight—or a light therapy box—can boost serotonin and regulate your circadian rhythm.
Genesis 1:3 says, “And God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light.” Light was His first gift to creation, and it still brings life today.
2. Move Your Body
Exercise increases endorphins and dopamine, improving both energy and outlook.
You don’t need to run a marathon—start with a short walk or stretch.
1 Corinthians 6:19–20 reminds us our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit. Caring for them is an act of worship.
3. Nurture Connection
When we isolate, sadness grows louder.
Reach out to a friend, attend a Bible study, or volunteer.
Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 says, “Two are better than one… if either of them falls down, one can help the other up.
4. Adjust Your Expectations
After the holidays, it’s easy to compare today’s ordinary moments to the excitement of December.
Give yourself permission to slow down, to reset. The Bible gives us multiple examples of Jesus, the Son of God, taking time to rest. If He needed rest, why would we expect differently of ourselves?
Matthew 11:28—“Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”*
5. Feed Your Spirit
Immerse yourself in Scripture, prayer, and worship music.
Depression dims perspective, but God’s Word renews it.
Psalm 42:11 “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him.”
6. Practice Gratitude
Gratitude activates brain regions associated with joy and resilience.
Even small blessings count—warm coffee, a friend’s text, a sunset.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
7. Set Rhythms of Rest
Winter is nature’s reminder to rest.
God Himself modeled rest on the seventh day—not from exhaustion, but completion.
Rest refuels your mind and aligns your soul with His peace.
Part 5: Reframing the Season
Maybe this January feels heavy. Maybe you’re tired of gray skies or unmet resolutions. But let’s reframe it:
What if winter isn’t a punishment, but an invitation?
An invitation to slow down.
To nurture your inner life.
To rediscover hope not in circumstances, but in Christ Himself.
Remember: no day is truly “blue” when it’s covered by God’s grace.
He specializes in turning mourning into dancing, ashes into beauty, and despair into praise (Isaiah 61:3).
The same God who paints the sunrise after the darkest night will bring light to your soul again.
Friend, if you’re listening today and feeling the weight of winter, know this: you are not alone. God sees you. He is not disappointed by your sadness; He is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18).
There’s no shame in reaching for help—from Him, from loved ones, or from professionals. Healing doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine; it means letting God meet you in the reality of your pain.

Scripture References:
John 1:5 “the Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”
1 Kings 19 “It is enough; now, Lord, take my life.”
Genesis 1:3 says, “And God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light.”
1 Corinthians 6:19–20 “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”
Ecclesiastes 4:9–10, “Two are better than one… if either of them falls down, one can help the other up.”
Matthew 11:28 “Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
Psalm 42:11 “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him.”
1 Thessalonians 5:18 “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
Isaiah 61:3 “and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.”
Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Recommended Resources:
Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories
YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms
Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals
YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1
YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2
Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference
Revive & Thrive Summit 2
Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1
Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2
Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.)
YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip
Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide
Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win
Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award
Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award
Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue

Social Media Links for Host:
For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:
Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple

Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson
Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson


Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary:
Emotional Exhaustion and holiday burnout are very real experiences. Today we’re going to be talking about the post-holiday aftermath that many of us feel for a myriad of reasons. We are going to cover expectations—unmet and unspoken; the subsequent disappointment which follows and the straight up exhaustion of making Christmas happen for our loved ones. If we don’t pause for a moment following the holidays, we rush headlong into the long winter months with unresolved sadness, which impacts our mental and emotional well-being, making those January blues stronger.

Our goal today is to equip you with space to process what happened or didn’t happen, reminders that you are not alone, and practical hope-filled tools to apply to the post-holiday aftermath you may be experiencing.

Quotables from the episode:
The living room is scattered with wrapping paper, ornaments are askew on the tree, and a fine layer of dust covers everything. Family has wandered off to pursue individual pursuits and you’re sitting alone. You did it. You curated gifts based on personal interests and desires. You planned special meals and made the once-a-year Christmas treats. But now the exhaustion sets in. You wonder if your family appreciates your effort, and you question whether it’s worth it. Crawling into bed and skipping the big family get together later that day sounds great. Instead, you pull yourself up and put another foot in front of the other. “Do the next thing,” you whisper, but wonder if you actually can. Today we are talking about How to Heal from Emotional Burnout and Holiday Exhaustion.
Emotional burnout and holiday exhaustion is a real experience that many of us deal with. It can start as early as October or November and lingers into January.
I love the reminders in Psalm 46 to be still, but it can be so hard to do. But when I keep reading, I see that knowing God and bringing him glory helps me frame being still inside the comforting knowledge that God is with me through it all. It’s the “all” that trips us up during the holidays. How do we determine how much or how little to do? How do we manage our expectations within the framework of stillness wrapped in God’s presence?
One of the contributing factors in emotional exhaustion and holiday burnout comes from a motive to serve others and to create a special experience for them. It’s a good and noble desire to do this. The gift of hospitality, even to our own families, is a special way to show them God’s love. That’s where my desire comes from: I want to show my family love by doing for them. But when we neglect the best thing, we find ourselves running through the holidays in our own strength, which creates emotional burnout and holiday exhaustion.
I love the sisters, Mary and Martha, found in Luke 10:38-42. These two women show us how to both serve and be still.
I’ve never liked how Martha is shown as wrong and Mary as right. If we take the time to read what Jesus said, we learn there is a good way and a better way. Martha had good motives in serving Jesus and the other guests. In the context of healing from holiday exhaustion and emotional burnout, the desire to create a beautiful holiday experience is a good desire. Martha’s mistake was her unspoken expectation that her sister should be helping her create this amazing experience for the Lord.
However, Mary spent her time listening at the feet of Jesus. While it looked like she was doing nothing, she shows us how being still is an active response. Spending time with Jesus is a better desire. It changes us from the inside out. Let’s explore how to hold both the good and the better in the same space and time.
I’ve always had mixed feelings when it comes to the account of Mary and Martha. I want to be a Mary, but I definitely relate to Martha’s personally as a get-it-done kind of person. I can’t tell you how often I hear “I don’t know how you do all you do!” And in transparency, for many years, I wore that as a badge of honor, until doing became my downfall.
One thing that has always stood out to me in the account of these two sisters is when Scripture says But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. It’s not that what Martha was doing was bad…it just wasn’t the best thing. It’s so easy to set aside our private, personal time with Jesus during the crazy, busy holiday season, and embarrassingly, I have succumbed to that at times. But what you’re saying is that healing from emotional burnout and holiday exhaustion starts with being still with Jesus.
It’s within the stillness with Jesus where we can be refreshed and guided for our next thing. We can ask the Holy Spirit to show us where we may have expectations that could lead to disappointment. I must continually remind myself that life is not a movie script, with perfectly plotted responses. There is no call for “Cut!” or “Go again.” Our family members deal with their own internal angsts, expectations, and disappointments, which clash with ours. If we start the day with Jesus and invite him into every part of our day, we can hold the good with the better and reveal both a Martha and a Mary side to our families and ourselves.
Unmet expectations (of others and ourselves) can contribute to emotional exhaustion and holiday burnout. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, so we have to be intentional when we want to change course. Addressing expectations by making time with Jesus a priority during the holiday season is vital, but let’s turn our attention to some practical steps.
One step we can do post-holiday is to ask our families what traditions or activities are important to them. We may be doing all the things, but maybe we don’t need too. Taking the time to talk about expectations, and adjusting them going forward both helps to heal, and create self-guards going forward.
A second aspect that crucial for our healing from emotional exhaustion and holiday burnout is to Create space in your life to rest and recover.
There’s no universal required day to take down the decorations and return the gift bags to their storage space. Lay on the couch post-Christmas and New Years. Turn off the lamps and turn on the Christmas lights. Take time to rejoice in Jesus coming to earth for you. Contemplate God with us. Be still and know he is God.
Depending on how depleted, fatigued, or burned out you may feel, I would add to that to create a “recovery zone”. Pick a short window every day, even if only 10-20 minutes, where you intentionally do nothing that requires output. Instead, sit with a cozy drink, listen to calm music, step outside for a breath of fresh air. This sends your nervous system the message: “I am safe. I can rest.”
The fourth suggestion we have for how to heal from emotional exhaustion and holiday burnout is where we can learn from Mary. I’d suggest a brief post-holiday evaluation can be very helpful by answering two questions. First, What wore you out? Second, What gave you life?
Taking the time for a post-holiday evaluation helps heal from emotional burnout and holiday exhaustion because self-reflection helps our brain release what is internally keeping our mind in a state of stress, and is a way to prepare and protect your mental and emotional strength for the next year.
This is where we realize where we may have lost sight of “God with us.” It’s easy to keep saying yes and to add more. Some years we have the capacity for a lot and other years we need to scale back. Three of my kids have birthdays in November, January, and February. Reserving energy for their births changed how I did Christmas, from the décor to the gifts to the food. And I discovered an important truth—it’s not so much what we do that makes Christmas special but the who. Who we are with and who we focus on.
A fifth tip, which is really important, is to Replenish What Was Depleted. To do this, I would add a third question to the self-evaluation, and that is to ask yourself What did the holidays season drain the most? If it was sleep, commit to earlier nights for a week or two. If it was social energy, block out quiet evenings. If it was finances, enact a low-spend month or two. If it was emotions, journal what you carried and release it to God.
We know that the level of emotional exhaustion or holiday burnout is different for everyone, and some years are worse than others, but with a shift in our perspective, a bit of self-reflection, communicating with our family, creating space to rest and recover, and intentionally replenishing what was depleted, we can experience healing from emotional burnout and holiday exhaustion.

Scripture References:
Psalm 46:11-12 “He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth. The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.”
Luke 10:38-42 “As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Recommended Resources:
Reframing Rejection: How Looking Through a Different Lens Changes Everything By Jessica Van Roekel
Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories
YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms
Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals
YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1
YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2
Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference
Revive & Thrive Summit 2
Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1
Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2
Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.)
YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip
Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide
Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win
Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award
Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award
Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue

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For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:
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Co-Host:
Jessica Van Roekel is a worship leader, speaker, and writer who believes that through Jesus, personal histories don’t need to define the present or determine the future. She inspires, encourages, and equips others to look at life through the lenses of hope, trust, and God’s transforming grace. Jessica lives in rural Iowa surrounded by wide open spaces which remind her of God’s expansive love. She loves fun earrings, good coffee, and connecting with others.

Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson
Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson
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