Chasing Heroine: Addiction Recovery and Sobriety

Bryan’s story starts in New York, where skateboards, weed, and the raw energy of rebellion shaped his early identity. But what looked like typical teenage experimentation quickly became something others labeled as “a problem.” In the height of the 90s and early 2000s, Bryan was sent away to behavior-modification boarding programs meant to “fix” kids like him. Instead of changing him, those experiences carved in a deeper belief: something is wrong with me.
That belief followed him straight into addiction.
Oxy was the first opiate that hooked Bryan, and what came after was years of chasing a feeling he could never quite catch again. Methadone, Suboxone, cross-country moves between New York and San Diego, and eventually crack cocaine all became part of the cycle. There were moments that looked like escape, traveling through national parks, falling in love, even a trip to Italy, but the obsession to use never loosened its grip.
After a suicide attempt brought him to his lowest point, Bryan found himself back where it all began: using again.
But on April 1, 2022, something shifted.
At a long-term medical treatment facility, Bryan finally found the space, structure, and willingness that allowed recovery to take root. Today, he’s an active participant in a twelve-step program and living proof that even the longest detours can still lead you home.
This episode is about mislabeling, survival, and what happens when someone finally stops trying to fix themselves and starts learning how to live.
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Today is Part Two of our interview with NodPod member, Joey Rakisits. Joey's story is SO inspiring - he did the rounds of alllll the things dope fiend, modifying cars, getting involved in criminal activity, staying in motel rooms, basically running amok in all the ways we addicts can run amok - and now he's CLEAN! Multiple prison terms, county time, again - ALLL the things. Today we pick up Joey's story with a near fatal overdose and his ultimate journey to get to a suboxone clinic with two therapists that changed his life. Clean now since September 20, 2021, we hope you enjoy Joey's episode at much as we did!
The article about the homicide is ⁠HERE⁠
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Today's episode originally aired on August 24, 2023
Today Jeannine and Narcan Nate interview Nod Pod member, Joey Rakisits. Joey's story is SO inspiring - he did the rounds of alllll the things dope fiend, modifying cars, getting involved in criminal activity, staying in motel rooms, basically running amok in all the ways we addicts can run amok - and now he's CLEAN! Multiple prison terms, county time, again - ALLL the things. Clean now since September 20, 2021, we hope you enjoy Joey's episode at much as we did!
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**TRIGGER WARNING
**todays episode references child abuse, please take care while listening.
Today is part two of Jeannine's interview with Matthew Hahn. Matt was a career criminal whose meth addiction and history of residential burglaries earned him three strikes by the age of 18. At 25, Matt was fresh off of parole, and back in his addiction. Returning to his old methods to support his lifestyle, Matt broke into a house and stole a safe - a choice that would change his life forever. What he discovered in that safe would pose a dilemma of choosing to turn in evidence of a crime - when to do so would cost him his freedom for the rest of his life.
Part Two picks up where Part One left off, in 2005 after Matt found evidence of a heinous crime inside a safe that he had stolen from a home. Matt ultimately returns to prison and begins leaning into Buddhism as a vital part of his recovery.
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This is encore presentation of a episode that was first released in November, 2023. All new episodes will return April 2nd, 2026.
**TRIGGER WARNING
**todays episode references child abuse, please take care while listening.
Today Jeannine interviews Matthew Hahn. Matt was a career criminal whose meth addiction and history of residential burglaries earned him three strikes by the age of 18. At 25, Matt was fresh off of parole, and back in his addiction. Returning to his old methods to support his lifestyle, Matt broke into a house and stole a safe - a choice that would change his life forever. What he discovered in that safe would pose a dilemma of choosing to turn in evidence of a crime - when to do so would cost him his freedom for the rest of his life.
Connect with Matt on TikTok
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See you next week!