Sex for Saints

Amanda Louder
Sex for Saints
Latest episode

407 episodes

  • Sex for Saints

    Episode 406 - When Self-Betrayal Still Isn't Enough: The Painful Paradox of Duty Sex

    30/1/2026 | 41 mins.
    In this episode, I'll talk about one of the most painful sexual dynamics I see in marriages: when a wife has been self-betraying for years by having sex she doesn't want, while her husband still feels unsatisfied. I'll explain why orgasms aren't the same thing as satisfaction, and how duty sex can actually block the connection both partners are craving. I'll unpack how this pattern creates deep resentment for her, confusion for him, and eventually a crisis point that forces the relationship to change. I'll also share what real repair can look like, how couples can move from obligation to genuine desire, and why quality and connection matter far more than frequency. This episode will be especially helpful for anyone who feels stuck in a painful sexual stalemate and wants clarity on what's really going wrong and what healing could look like.
  • Sex for Saints

    Episode 405 - When Your Spouse Had Previous Sexual Partners

    23/1/2026 | 43 mins.
    In this episode, I talk about what happens when a spouse's sexual past becomes a source of anxiety, comparison, guilt, or secrecy inside a marriage. I unpack why obsessive thoughts about a partner's past aren't really about what happened then, but about fear and insecurity now, and why no amount of details ever brings peace. We also look at the other side of the equation: carrying a past you never disclosed, how secrets quietly create distance, and how to thoughtfully decide whether disclosure is actually the right step. Throughout the episode, I separate repentance before God from emotional healing in marriage, and explain why believing in the Atonement doesn't mean you're required to feel nothing. This episode is for anyone struggling with jealousy, rumination, moral superiority, or the weight of an unresolved sexual past in a faith-based marriage.
  • Sex for Saints

    Episode 404 - Why Sex Isn't Pleasurable For Some Women

    16/1/2026 | 30 mins.
    In this episode, I want to talk about something a lot of women quietly wonder but rarely say out loud: what if sex isn't bad, but it's also not very good? In this episode, I unpack why so many women experience sex as "meh," even in loving marriages where both partners are trying. We look at how expectations, anatomy, mental patterns, and our relationship with pleasure all shape how sex actually feels. I explain why nothing is broken about you if sex hasn't lived up to the hype, and how pleasure is something that's learned, not automatic. If you've ever wondered why sex feels underwhelming or why you'd rather do almost anything else, this conversation will help you understand what's really going on and what can change.
  • Sex for Saints

    Episode 403 - Sex As A Pacifier

    09/1/2026 | 20 mins.
    In this episode, I'm inviting you to look at a pattern that might be quietly shaping your sex life without you realizing it. We're talking about what happens when sex becomes a way to soothe anxiety, seek reassurance, or calm uncomfortable emotions instead of a place of desire and connection. I share real examples of how this shows up in marriages, why it feels helpful in the moment, and why it often leaves both partners feeling disconnected afterward. Most importantly, we explore what becomes possible when sex no longer has to carry the weight of proving everything is okay. If you want a sex life that feels lighter, more present, and rooted in genuine connection, this episode is for you.
  • Sex for Saints

    Episode 402 - Sexual Simmering

    02/1/2026 | 23 mins.
    Have you ever noticed how sex can feel like something you "check off," followed by days or weeks of not thinking about it at all? In this episode, I'm inviting you to consider a different way of relating to your sexuality that doesn't require pressure, performance, or forcing yourself to feel desire. The idea is called "simmering" and I will explain how staying gently connected to your sexual self between encounters can make sex feel easier, more natural, and more mutual. We'll talk about how anticipation and awareness create desire over time, especially if you're the lower desire partner. If you want sex to feel less like a mountain to climb and more like something you can ease into, this episode will help you see what's been missing and how to change it.

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About Sex for Saints

As a Certified Sex & Marriage Coach, and a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, Amanda Louder helps conservative Christian women love their sex life! In this podcast, Amanda helps women embrace their sexuality so that they can become the woman they were created to be. She teaches you how to integrate sexuality into your marriage in a loving and healthy way, get rid of the drama and negative emotions around sex in your marriage, and develop a better relationship to yourself, your spouse, and your sexuality.
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