Sex for Saints

In this episode, I want to talk about something a lot of women quietly wonder but rarely say out loud: what if sex isn't bad, but it's also not very good? In this episode, I unpack why so many women experience sex as "meh," even in loving marriages where both partners are trying. We look at how expectations, anatomy, mental patterns, and our relationship with pleasure all shape how sex actually feels. I explain why nothing is broken about you if sex hasn't lived up to the hype, and how pleasure is something that's learned, not automatic. If you've ever wondered why sex feels underwhelming or why you'd rather do almost anything else, this conversation will help you understand what's really going on and what can change.

In this episode, I'm inviting you to look at a pattern that might be quietly shaping your sex life without you realizing it. We're talking about what happens when sex becomes a way to soothe anxiety, seek reassurance, or calm uncomfortable emotions instead of a place of desire and connection. I share real examples of how this shows up in marriages, why it feels helpful in the moment, and why it often leaves both partners feeling disconnected afterward. Most importantly, we explore what becomes possible when sex no longer has to carry the weight of proving everything is okay. If you want a sex life that feels lighter, more present, and rooted in genuine connection, this episode is for you.

Have you ever noticed how sex can feel like something you "check off," followed by days or weeks of not thinking about it at all? In this episode, I'm inviting you to consider a different way of relating to your sexuality that doesn't require pressure, performance, or forcing yourself to feel desire. The idea is called "simmering" and I will explain how staying gently connected to your sexual self between encounters can make sex feel easier, more natural, and more mutual. We'll talk about how anticipation and awareness create desire over time, especially if you're the lower desire partner. If you want sex to feel less like a mountain to climb and more like something you can ease into, this episode will help you see what's been missing and how to change it.

In this episode, I'm talking about the lies your brain tells you about sex and how those thoughts quietly sabotage connection in your marriage. I explain why your brain is wired to see sexual vulnerability as a threat, how past experiences and conditioning shape the stories you believe, and why those stories feel so true even when they aren't. We look at the specific lies that tend to show up for both higher-desire and lower-desire partners, and how those patterns keep couples stuck in fear, shame, and disconnection. I also share practical ways to recognize when your brain is lying, how to question those thoughts without judging yourself, and how curiosity can open the door to real intimacy again. If sex feels complicated, heavy, or confusing in your marriage, this episode will help you understand what's actually happening and how to move forward with more clarity and compassion.

This episode marks my 400th conversation about sex, marriage, and building a relationship that actually feels good to live inside, and I'm incredibly grateful you're here for it. To celebrate, I dive into why flirting can either create connection and desire or quietly turn into pressure that pushes your spouse away. I explain how flirting is meant to be playful and connective, not a disguised request for sex, and why the underlying dynamic matters more than the behavior itself. We talk about different flirting styles, how mindset shapes how flirting lands, and what to do when affection has started to feel loaded or tense. If you want flirting to feel lighter, safer, and genuinely connecting again, this episode will help you understand what's getting in the way and how to shift it.
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