Pause Purpose Play

Have you ever found yourself relentlessly pushing for perfection and performance, only to end up exhausted, sick, or feeling disconnected from what actually matters?

When we are ambitious and driven, it’s easy to fall into the trap of "push culture" — mistaking scattered busyness for meaningful success. Many women, especially those balancing career, family, and high expectations, try to hold it all together until their bodies give them an unmistakable signal to stop.

In this episode, I’m joined by Bianca Best — award-winning keynote speaker, therapist, coach, founder of the Human Connection Company, and bestselling author of Big Impact Without Burnout. Together, we unpack how to move away from performative productivity and step into grounded, intentional choices that allow you to achieve big impact without sacrificing your well-being.

In this episode, we cover:

Recognizing the hidden physical, emotional, and mental costs of "push culture" and relentless driving

Bianca's personal journey through chronic burnout, immune collapse, and unlearning the drive for external approval

The difference between scattered switch-tasking and graceful, grounded productivity

Radical acceptance and making conscious choices: letting go of the juggle to be fully present in motherhood or work

Paying attention to bodily signals (interoception) and stress responses like flushing or inflammation

Simple daily practices for energy management, self-connection, and setting boundaries

Overcoming the fear of stepping back and creating a "conscious calendar" aligned with your true values

Key reminder

Life is not meant to be a struggle — it is meant to be full of joy. You don't have to sacrifice yourself or your health to make a big impact in the world.

About Bianca Best

Best Bianca Best is an award-winning keynote speaker, broadcaster, therapist, coach, and bestselling author with over 25 years of experience in leadership and energy management. Formerly a senior global advertising executive, she is the author of Big Impact Without Burnout and founder of the Human Connection Company, dedicated to helping high achievers cultivate success through energy, self-trust, and human connection.

Connect with Bianca

Website: www.biancabest.com

Book: Big Impact Without Burnout

Connect with Bianca on Instagram: biancabest_

Resources & Links

✨ The November Hot-Tub Reset in Leighton Buzzard: An afternoon to step out of the noise, reconnect with yourself and make space for whatever needs your attention next: https://thethomasconnection.thrivecart.com/november-hot-tub/

✨ Golden Event (London, December 4th): An intimate day for nine women to pause, restore capacity, and build purpose without burnout: https://thethomasconnection.thrivecart.com/golden-december-2026/

Have you ever wondered if your increasing brain fog, emotional swings, or memory struggles are down to ADHD, perimenopause, or both?

When sex hormones fluctuate in midlife, the impact on neurodivergent brains can feel like a sudden, overwhelming loss of control. Yet, because of a lack of female-focused research and short appointment times, women are frequently passed between specialists without anyone connecting the dots between their brain health, hormones, and mental well-being.

In this episode, I’m joined by Dr Helen Wall — NHS GP partner, BMS-registered menopause specialist, BBC Breakfast resident doctor, and bestselling author of Menopause and ADHD. Together, we unpack the neurobiology behind estrogen and brain chemical messengers, how to advocate for yourself at the GP, and why treating midlife neurodivergence requires a compassionate, personalized approach.

In this episode, we cover:

The chemical connection between fluctuating estrogen and key brain messengers like dopamine and serotonin

Why neurodivergent women often experience perimenopause symptoms earlier than their neurotypical peers

How to prepare for a 10-minute NHS GP consultation and ask for an ADHD assessment or hormonal support

Key blood tests to ask your doctor about (including ferritin, vitamin D, and thyroid function) to optimize brain function

The nuance behind antidepressant use, PMDD, and paradoxical reactions to micronized progesterone

Reframing midlife unmasking: moving from perfectionism and "flogging yourself" to self-compassion and boundaries

Turning rejection sensitivity into justice sensitivity to advocate for systemic change in women's healthcare

Key reminder:

 Listen to your gut — it’s not you, it’s the system. You know your own body and mind, and you deserve to advocate for yourself without feeling like you are an inconvenience or imagining your symptoms.

 

About Dr Helen Wall: 

Dr Helen Wall is a GP partner, BMS registered menopause specialist, resident doctor for BBC Breakfast, TV broadcaster, and author of Menopause and ADHD. She specializes in the intersection between female hormones and brain health, helping women navigate hormonal changes, neurodiversity, and midlife health with practical, evidence-based guidance.

Connect with Dr Helen Wall:

Website: www.drhelenwall.com

Book: Menopause and ADHD (Available in print and Audiobook)

Documentary: Dismissed: Menopause the Scandal on ITVX

 

Resources & Links: 

✨ Join my free Nervous System Reset to help you move from overwhelm to calm (without having to sit still!): www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/reset

✨ Burn Bright Group Coaching: A semi-private, 6-space group coaching program starting in January for ambitious ADHD women looking to build sustainable habits without burnout: www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/burn-bright

 

If this episode resonated, please follow the podcast, leave a rating or review, and share it with a woman in midlife who needs to know she isn't alone.

What happens when the version of motherhood you thought you’d be brilliant at… completely breaks you?

In this episode of Pause Purpose Play, I’m joined by Cat Sims – aka Not So Smug Now on Instagram – for a very honest conversation about ADHD, motherhood struggles, perfectionism, postnatal depression, addiction and sobriety – and the power of knowing you’re not the only one. 

Cat shares how becoming a mother collided with a lifetime of achievement and perfectionist expectations. When motherhood didn’t look or feel the way she thought it would, she was left feeling like she was failing at the one thing women are so often told should come naturally to them.

She talks openly about her experience of undiagnosed postnatal depression, suicidal thoughts, and how what had once been a “party girl” lifestyle escalated into alcoholism and addiction - and what the turning point was into now being five years sober. 

We talk about what recovery has taught Cat about shame, vulnerability and connection – and why sharing the messy parts of our stories can help other women realise they’re not alone.

We also get into ADHD, rejection sensitivity (RSD), perimenopause and the exhausting pressure to hold everything together. Cat shares how criticism can feel intensely painful, why isolation can become a way of protecting ourselves from rejection, and what she’s learned about doing the opposite: reaching out, being rigorously honest and asking for help even when every part of you wants to hide.

We explore:

ADHD, rejection sensitivity and the fear of criticism

perfectionism and the pressure to be a “good” mother

postnatal depression, addiction, alcoholism and sobriety

hyper-independence and why asking for help can feel so difficult

the mental load, resentment and communication in relationships

the difference between guilt and shame

making amends to yourself and learning to own mistakes without becoming them

ADHD, hormones and perimenopause

overstimulation and being honest with our children about our capacity

why vulnerability online can create connection – and when it tips into trauma dumping

slowing down and giving yourself permission to stop before you hit burnout

This is a conversation about getting things wrong, taking responsibility without drowning in shame, and letting go of the idea that we need to do everything perfectly.

Because whether you’re struggling with ADHD, motherhood, sobriety, perfectionism – or simply the relentless pressure of trying to be a functioning adult – you’re not the only one.

About Cat Sims

Cat Sims is a content creator, podcaster, author and the woman behind Not So Smug Now on Instagram. Through humour, honesty and sharing the realities most of us would rather hide, her mission is to help women feel seen – and remind them that they are never, ever the only one.

Catch Cat on Instagram under @notsosmugnow
Website: www.notsosmugnow.com
Book: The Mental Load Diaries 

Want support with perfectionism and burnout?

If you recognise yourself in the pressure to keep achieving, over-functioning and pushing through until you crash, Burn Bright is my six-month group coaching programme for high-striving women who want to build self-compassion, healthier habits and a more sustainable way of working and living.
We open the doors for applications during the Autumn of 2026, to start the programme January 2027. 
www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/burn-bright

Do you ever find yourself putting off the dentist—or feeling secretly ashamed about how hard it can be to stick to basic dental care?

When you have ADHD, a busy brain, or you're navigating life stress, grief, or burnout, keeping up with personal hygiene and self-care routines like brushing or flossing can feel almost impossible. The executive functioning load of booking appointments, remembering routines, and facing the fear of being "told off" creates a huge barrier to looking after our teeth.

In this solo episode, I get vulnerable about my own recent struggles with dental hygiene following a period of personal grief, sharing practical ways to reduce friction, eliminate shame, and prioritize your health without judgment.

In this episode we explore:

The link between executive dysfunction, mental health, and basic personal hygiene challenges in ADHDers

How life events, grief, and perimenopause disrupt established self-care routines

Practical, low-friction systems for booking and keeping routine dental appointments (like practice plans and visual triggers)

Why ADHDers are more prone to sugar cravings, impulsive eating, and nocturnal teeth grinding (bruxism)

Overcoming the deep shame and rejection sensitivity surrounding missed checkups or poor flossing

Why "prepaying" for your care acts as a helpful accountability anchor

Navigating sensory issues around interdental brushes and finding tools that actually work for you

How to advocate for yourself at the dentist so you don't feel criticized or overwhelmed

Unconventional hacks for making dental care less boring and easier to fit into your day

If you’ve been avoiding a checkup, struggling to floss, or beating yourself up for forgetting to brush your teeth, this episode is your reminder that it is not a moral failure—it's an executive function challenge.

Resources & Links

✨ Join the free Nervous System Reset If you're feeling overwhelmed, constantly "on", or like your nervous system never gets a chance to switch off, I've created a free guided Nervous System Reset to help you pause, regulate, and reconnect with yourself. Join it here: www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/reset

✨ Golden Event (London, October 9th): An intimate day for nine women to pause, restore capacity, and build purpose without burnout: https://thethomasconnection.thrivecart.com/golden-in-person-event-oct-2026/

🎧 Enjoyed this episode?

Please follow the podcast, leave a rating or review, and share this episode with a friend. It helps more people discover Pause, Purpose, Play and supports the podcast to reach those who need it most.

When two ADHD experts get together to talk about neurodivergence, we can skip the basics and go so much deeper.

In this episode, I'm joined by Kate Moryoussef — ADHD coach, EFT practitioner, author of The ADHD Women's Wellbeing Toolkit, and host of the ADHD Women's Wellbeing Podcast — to explore what it really takes to navigate life as a late-identified neurodivergent woman.

We dive into the complex reality of managing your capacity, navigating perimenopause alongside ADHD, unlearning lifelong perfectionism, and why true well-being goes far beyond quick social media hacks. Kate shares openly about her own lived experience, the reality of post-event energy crashes, and how she builds a supportive ecosystem to burn bright without burning out.

In this episode, we cover:

The deep need for in-person connection and finding "your people" as a late-diagnosed woman

The intersection of ADHD, perimenopause, and lifelong hormonal struggles

Protecting your energy, honoring bodily cues, and navigating post-adrenaline crashes

Why self-identification is valid and how to support yourself while on long assessment waitlists

Moving beyond the binary of ADHD as either a "superpower" or a curse

Setting boundaries around sleep, screen time, and constant dopamine consumption

The hidden perfectionism behind workaholism, people-pleasing, and the internal "not enough" narrative

Why coaching, therapy, and nervous system regulation work together as a holistic toolkit

The future of neurodivergence assessments and moving toward more fluid, holistic diagnostic pathways

Key reminder 

You don't need to tick every box, fix everything, or prove your worth by pushing past your limits. Whatever you have done today is enough, and you are worthy of rest.

About Kate Moryoussef 

Kate is a Women's ADHD Lifestyle and Wellbeing Coach, EFT practitioner, author, and podcast host. Diagnosed at 40, she combines lived experience with professional expertise to help women understand themselves with clarity, compassion, and realistic, sustainable strategies.

Connect with Kate

Website: www.adhdwomenswellbeing.co.uk

Listen to Michaela’s guest episode on Kate's podcast: https://www.adhdwomenswellbeing.co.uk/podcast

Resources & Links

✨ Join my free Nervous System Reset to help you move from overwhelm to calm (without having to sit still!): www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/reset

✨ Golden Event (London, October 9th): An intimate day for nine women to pause, restore capacity, and build purpose without burnout: https://thethomasconnection.thrivecart.com/golden-in-person-event-oct-2026/

Enjoyed this episode?

Please follow the podcast, leave a rating or review, and share this episode with someone who is navigating a new diagnosis or trying to find the words to speak to the doubters. It helps more people discover Pause, Purpose, Play and supports the podcast to reach those who need it most.