Pause Purpose Play

If you’re an ADHD or neurodivergent woman, the pressure to be “acceptable” can feel relentless: capable but not chaotic, confident but not difficult, adaptable but not too much. This episode explores why patriarchy amplifies perfectionism for neurodivergent women - and how real male allyship can help reduce that pressure.

One for your partner to listen to!

Episode overview
I’m joined by Lee Chambers, founder of Male Allies UK, to talk about what authentic male allyship actually looks like — beyond performative support or social media statements.

We discuss:

Why perfectionism becomes a survival strategy for ADHD women

How patriarchal norms punish difference and reward masking

The invisible load of caregiving and emotional labour

How men can be allies without centring themselves or creating more work for women

Why this matters
Patriarchy doesn’t just disadvantage women - it narrows who we’re allowed to be. For neurodivergent women, that narrowing is sharper, harsher, and more exhausting.

Reset
If this conversation stirred something, tiredness, recognition, or that familiar “oh… it’s not just me”, you might benefit from Reset, my gentle, science-informed experience for women who are burning out from trying to hold it all together.

It’s a chance to pause, soothe your nervous system, and reconnect with yourself - without needing to fix or improve anything first.
www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/reset

If you've been diagnosed with ADHD, and your partner wants to know how to better support you - this episode is for you.  If ADHD is creating tension, misunderstandings, or repeated arguments in your relationship - this episode is also for you.
 
In this solo episode, Clinical Psychologist Michaela Thomas shares what she would want a partner to understand if they were sitting together in the therapy room.  This episode isn’t about excuses or blame.  It’s about understanding how ADHD affects nervous systems, emotions, communication, and relationships — and what actually helps, rather than makes things worse.
 
In this episode, we explore:

Why ADHD is not an excuse, but is an explanation

Why “trying harder” often leads to more shame and burnout, not change

What happens when someone with ADHD is stuck in rumination or emotional collapse

Why logic and reassurance don’t land when the nervous system is dysregulated

Rejection sensitivity (RSD) and how tone, silence, and facial expressions can be misread

How past relational wounds can be triggered in the present

The common “parent–child” dynamic that can develop in ADHD relationships

How to support your partner without taking over or eroding their agency

A free resource for couples
If this episode resonated, Michaela has created a free guide called Balance Your Relationship.
It’s designed to help couples step out of blame and back into understanding — with compassion for both partners.
 
Download the free guide here:
http://thethomasconnection.co.uk/relationshipbalance/

In this episode of the Pause Purpose Play podcast, host Michaela Thomas welcomes Joseph Pack who discusses strategies for managing ADHD without medication.

Joseph, founder of 'Drug-Free ADHD,' shares his journey of overcoming ADHD by focusing on lifestyle changes instead of medication. The conversation delves into various approaches, including breath work, cold and hot water exposure, diet adjustments, movement, and the critical importance of quality sleep.

Joseph and Michaela emphasise that these methods are not meant to replace medication but to offer alternative solutions for those who cannot or choose not to use medication. The episode concludes by highlighting the need for a nuanced and individualised approach to ADHD management.

Connect with Joseph:

Website: www.drugfreeadhd.org

Instagram: www.instagram.com/josephpackcom/

In this episode of the Pauses Purpose Play podcast, host Michaela Thomas speaks with Matt Buff, founder of the wellbeing and supplement brand Get Dopa. They discuss Matt’s journey through understanding and managing his ADHD, overcoming perfectionism, and the importance of self-compassion. Matt shares his experience of burning out in a high-pressure corporate job, discovering his ADHD, and subsequently creating a brand to support busy minds. The conversation highlights the importance of integrating pauses, purpose, and play into one’s life, maintaining self-awareness, the role of supplements in enhancing daily function, and the significance of building a balanced and fulfilling life. Listeners are encouraged to embrace their strengths and practice self-compassion, creating a life that suits their unique needs.

In this episode of the Pause Purpose Play podcast, clinical psychologist Michaela Thomas discusses the pressure and myths surrounding the 'New Year, New Me' mentality. Michaela advocates for setting compassionate, intention-driven goals instead of rigid, outcome-based resolutions which can often lead to self-criticism and burnout. She explains the importance of being gentle and realistic, especially for neurodivergent individuals, and suggests focusing on manageable, long-term changes. Michaela also introduces her online course, the Compassionate Couple, and shares a special discount offer in honor of her birthday.