What does it feel like to reach the end of your fertility journey , not with the family you imagined, but with the one you have? In this episode, host Natalie Silverman sits down with patient advocate, writer, and blogger Seetal Savla for an honest, moving conversation about secondary infertility, the decision to stop treatment, and the complicated emotions that don't simply disappear after a hard-won pregnancy.
Seetal spent six years trying to conceive, went through five rounds of unsuccessful IVF (including one with a donor), experienced multiple losses, and eventually conceived her daughter naturally. Now living in Berlin, she and her husband have made the deeply personal decision not to pursue further treatment , and she speaks candidly about what that letting go actually looks and feels like.
This is also a conversation for those of you who are still on the journey. Because the feelings Seetal describes , the sting of pregnancy announcements, the guilt, the grief for the family you thought you'd have , are feelings many of you will recognise wherever you are right now.
Trigger warning: This episode includes discussion of pregnancy loss, pregnancy after loss, and the emotional impact of making the decision to stop fertility treatment.
What we discuss in this episode:
Secondary infertility and what it means when there's no clear diagnosis
The decision to stop treatment , and the grief and relief that can come with it
How to navigate the sting of pregnancy announcements, even as a parent
Allowing yourself to feel the 'negative' emotions: sadness, jealousy, resentment
Seetal's two-part answer to the question: 'Do you want another baby?'
Donating remaining embryos , and the complicated emotions around that
The language we use: why 'only child' and 'one and done' don't always fit
How to handle intrusive questions, especially within South Asian communities
Forewarnng friends and family about pregnancy announcements , what actually helps
When fertility friendships shift or break down
Seetal's in-person support group for South Asian women in Berlin
The power of lived experience communities , and why you don't have to speak to belong
Seetal's 13-part Ferring video diary series documenting her final cycle through to motherhood
About Seetal Savla
Seetal is a patient advocate, writer, and blogger who supports the South Asian fertility community both in the UK and internationally. She has written for The Times, contributed to Kat Brown's anthology No One Talks About This Stuff, and partnered with Ferring Pharmaceuticals on a 13-part fertility video diary series. She also hosts support groups for South Asian women navigating fertility challenges, most recently in Berlin.
Follow Seetal on Instagram: @seetalsavla
Links from Seetal
Online Fertility Diaries series , filmed with Ferring, documenting Seetal's final cycle, loss, pregnancy after loss, motherhood and her husband's perspective. Episode one of 13 is on her Instagram, with all episodes available there.
No One Talks About This Stuff , Seetal wrote one of 22 essays in Kat Brown's anthology, on the experience of being on the verge of the 'happy ending'.
Instagram post: 'Do you want another baby?' , Seetal's two-part answer to one of the most loaded questions she gets asked.
The Times Weekend article , Seetal's piece about donating their remaining embryos (paywalled).
Books mentioned in this episode
Friendaholics by Elizabeth Day , on the complexity and expectations of female friendship
Inconceivable by Elizabeth Day , on donor conception, family secrets, and her own IVF journey
Why this conversation matters
So much of the fertility conversation is focused on the next step, the next cycle, the path forward. But what happens when there is no next step? When the path ends somewhere different from where you thought it would?
This episode is for anyone who has made , or is close to making , the decision to stop treatment. It's for anyone navigating secondary infertility, sitting with grief alongside gratitude, or trying to find the words for feelings that don't have easy names. And it's for those of you still on the journey, because understanding that these emotions persist , and that they're valid , matters too.
Support and resources
The Fertility Podcast is the official podcast for Fertility Action, a charity providing education, support and campaigning for fairer access to fertility treatment.
Fertility Action also runs free drop-in support sessions twice a week , no sign-up needed, just a space to be heard.
This episode is sponsored by Wild Nutrition
Trying to conceive can make supplement decisions feel overwhelming. Wild Nutrition offers free one-to-one consultations with nutritional therapists so you get guidance tailored to your specific situation , not just a generic product recommendation. Their supplements are formulated for optimal absorption, with 31 carefully selected nutrients including folate, zinc and B vitamins, and they're trusted by over 50,000 couples.
As a listener of The Fertility Podcast, you can get:
50% off for 3 months
A free personal consultation with an expert nutritional therapist
Visit wildnutrition.com/fertilitypodcast to get started. Terms and conditions apply.
Support the podcast
Natalie is taking on the Three Peaks Challenge , Ben Nevis, Scafell Pike and Snowdon in 24 hours , to raise funds for Fertility Action. If this podcast has helped you in any way, even a small contribution would mean the world.
Here's how you can donate:
Everyone who donates will get a shout-out on a future episode , so listen out for your name!
Stay connected
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Thank you, as always, for your ear holes. Until next time 💛
Ireland