10% Happier with Dan Harris

How to calm down fast with an 'inventory' practice, how to build 'resources' you can call on anytime, and why 'healing' might be the wrong goal to chase. Plus, living with autoimmune disorder, writing as a practice of embodiment, and why white-knuckling isn't worth it.
Johanna Franzel is a teacher, somatic practitioner, educator, and author of the new book Write Yourself Home: A Creative Guide for Living Well in the Body You Have Through Embodied Writing and Movement Practice. She brings both professional expertise and the lived experience of navigating chronic illness for more than two decades. She also writes a Substack called Permission Slips. 
In this episode we talk about:
Why your nervous system stays on high alert for threats that aren't actually there
The three-step "inventory" practice for finding calm in your body, right now
Why calling to mind a "resource" can genuinely shift your physiology
"Presence without scrutiny": the difference between being with someone (or yourself) and staring them down
Why Johanna doesn't love the word "healing" and the word she prefers instead
How to turn your most embarrassing memories into material, not shame
Why the way you talk to yourself matters more than you think
What over two decades with Crohn's disease taught Johanna about self-advocacy and knowing your own margins

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Plus: how to build a village, why your attachment style isn't your destiny, and a two-step method for asking for help that actually works.
Nedra Glover Tawwab is a licensed therapist and the author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace, an instant New York Times best-seller translated into over 35 languages worldwide. In addition, she has authored seven other books, including Drama Free and, most recently, The Balancing Act. A sought-after relationship expert, she has practiced relationship therapy for almost 20 years.
In this episode we talk about:
The difference between healthy dependency and full-blown enmeshment
Why your attachment style is useful information, not a life sentence
Wise compassion versus what Buddhists call "idiot compassion" 
Why you can't force someone else to change, but your own change might be contagious
The "silent agreements" we make in relationships without ever saying them out loud — and how they quietly build resentment
Why over-considering everyone else's needs backfires, and how to actually advocate for your own
How to stop dragging old relationship trauma into brand-new relationships
What to actually do if you feel lonely, or like you don't have enough friends
Related Episodes:
How to Handle Family Drama | Nedra Glover Tawwab
That Rut You're In – This One Word Could Pull You Out | Nedra Tawwab
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Join Dan, Sebene Selassie, and Jeff Warren for Meditation Party, a 3-day immersive retreat at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY, October 16–18. Grab your in-person spot here, or sign up to livestream here!

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Plus: The "hard yes" list, the intentional pursuit of being bad at things (and how that opens doors you didn't know were closed), being "on intimate terms with catastrophe," and optimism as a daily practice. From How To Be A Better Human.

Today we're sharing an episode from another show we love: How to Be a Better Human, hosted by Chris Duffy. In this conversation, Chris talks with actor Yara Shahidi — known for Black-ish and Grown-ish, and now host of The Optimist Project podcast — about what she's learned from building a career and an identity at the same time. Yara explains why she thinks of optimism as a daily practice rather than a fixed personality trait, how a "year of no" eventually led her to build a "hard yes list" of things that reliably bring her joy, and why she's been deliberately pursuing things she's bad at — cartwheels, crochet, the glockenspiel — as a way of staying curious and connected.
It's a thoughtful conversation about purpose, identity, and how to keep growing once you've already achieved the thing you thought you wanted. If you like what you hear, check out How to Be a Better Human wherever you get your podcasts.
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Join Dan, Sebene Selassie, and Jeff Warren for Meditation Party, a 3-day immersive retreat at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY, October 16–18. Grab your in-person spot here, or sign up to livestream here! 
 To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

The legendary dharma teacher on self-acceptance, the two-sentence trick she uses on her own anger, and what actually makes her happy after 90 years of living.
Sylvia Boorstein, PhD, LCSW is a co-founding teacher of Spirit Rock Meditation Center in Woodacre California and the author of five books on Buddhism, Mindfulness, and particularly That's Funny, You Don't Look Buddhist: On Being a Faithful Jew and a Passionate Buddhist. 
In this episode we talk about:
Why turning 90 makes the Buddha's teachings on impermanence feel real instead of theoretical
The line Sylvia repeats to herself that's become the antidote to ill will and anger
Why "there's always a hand to hold" might be the whole point of being alive
The four (or three) noble truths, reworked in Sylvia's own words
A grocery store treat that turned into an unexpected lesson about where happiness actually comes from
What she says to people who are dying, and why it's not a lie
And much more

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This episode is sponsored by:
BetterHelp:: Don't let stigma stand in the way of support. Start therapy with BetterHelp.
Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/HAPPIER.
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An MIT/Harvard negotiation expert on the two types of "no," the FBI hostage negotiator trick you can use with anyone, and the rhetorical move that improves outcomes for women.
John Richardson teaches negotiation at MIT's Sloan School of Management, and previously at Harvard Law, and was an associate at the Harvard Negotiation Project. He was coauthor with Roger Fisher and Alan Sharp of Getting It Done and Negotiation Analysis with Howard Raiffa and David Metcalfe. He is also a graduate of the Massachusetts Firefighting Academy. His latest book is Never Settle, co-written with Attia Qureshi.
In this episode we talk about:
Why lying in a negotiation is tactically stupid, not just morally wrong
The "give them a sandwich" trick FBI hostage negotiators use, and how to steal it for everyday life
The difference between healthy manipulation and the harmful kind
A simple word that can pull someone's brain out of fight-or-flight mode mid-argument
Why knowing your alternative matters more than knowing your ask
When saying no is actually the smartest move in the room
And much more

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This episode is sponsored by:
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Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton debit flex card, and Bancorp debit flex card.  Savings provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.
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