THE AUTISM ADHD PODCAST

When adults tell autistic or ADHD children to be more accountable — to take more responsibility, to stop making excuses, admit when they're wrong — I understand exactly where that's coming from. The fear underneath it is real. The exhaustion is real.
But here's what I also know: when we demand accountability and responsibility through shame, we're not teaching our neurodivergent kids anything. We're just making them feel bad about who they are.
In this episode, I'm getting honest about something most of us don't talk about — the massive gap between what parents mean when they say "accountability" and what their autistic or ADHD child actually hears. And I'm going to show you what real accountability looks like for neurodivergent kids. It doesn't involve a giant, heavy bag of shame and blame. It involves understanding, curiosity, and problem solving — together.
I've been the parent standing in front of my child saying, "You need to take responsibility." I thought I was teaching him something essential. What I was actually doing was handing him a bag of garbage and calling it a life lesson.
This episode is for every parent and teacher who has done the same. And for every therapist working with autistic and adhd children and their families. 
In this episode, you'll learn:
Why demanding accountability from autistic and ADHD kids often backfires — and what's actually happening when a child "refuses to take responsibility."
The garbage bag metaphor: what happens when shame and blame get passed back and forth between parent and child — and how to put it down
Real examples and what actually helped
5 ways to teach real accountability without shame, including how to separate the action from the person, how to use curiosity instead of blame, and how to teach missing skills without saying "you should know this by now."
Why "I forgot" and "she was bothering me" are not excuses — they're a child trying to communicate
What happens to neurodivergent kids who grow up in a shame-based accountability culture — and why it matters
How to repair it when you've already shamed your child in the name of responsibility (because you will, and have I)
What therapists need to ask when a parent says their child needs to be more accountable
This episode is for you if:
You're a parent of an autistic child and/or ADHD child who struggles with responsibility, follow-through, or "making excuses."
You're a therapist, school counselor, or psychologist supporting neurodivergent children and their families
You grew up being told you made excuses — and it still weighs on you.
Sincerely, Holly Blanc Moses, The Mom/Neurodivergent Therapist
P.S. I've got more goodness for you!
🥁🥁🥁🥁 MORE Great information for you! 
The 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide is now available, including three detailed cases with accommodations for ONLY $27.95
What's Inside:
📚 Academic Supports (45 accommodations)
From pre-teaching strategies to assistive technology, the tools students need to access the curriculum without barriers
🎨 Sensory & Environmental Supports (22 accommodations)
Create a learning environment where your child can focus, regulate, and engage—not just survive
🧠 Executive Functioning & Self-Advocacy (24 accommodations)
Build the skills that will serve them for life—organization, time management, and speaking up for their needs
🤝 Social Supports (21 accommodations)
Turn recess and group work from nightmare to opportunity with structured, supportive approaches
💚 Mental Health & Emotional Regulation (23 accommodations)
Because learning can't happen when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or in crisis
Plus:
✅ An example of each accommodation
✅ 3 detailed cases along with accommodations
✅ Tips on how to identify areas of need
✅ Free helpful education resources
Don't miss this opportunity to access 135 neurodiversity-affirming accommodations for only $27.95
➡️ Parents click here
➡️ Therapists click here
➡️ Educators click here
Thank you for your advocacy!
After you get your guide, you can also access these free resources below:) ⬇️
🌟 Get your FREE "Get To Know My Child Snapshot"
Parents click here
Therapists click here
Educators click here
⭐️ Hey Therapists! Come on over for NEURODIVERSITY-AFFIRMING CONTINUING EDUCATION 
Enhance your therapeutic approach with our affirming and engaging trainings while earning CE credits to fulfill your professional development requirements, as our courses are approved by the NBCC.
Therapists click here
⭐️ Welcome to our PARENT MASTERCLASSES WITH Q&A 
Each live class is packed with supportive strategies on the topics parents want most. Can't make it live? No worries, because you'll get the replay. Sign up to be the first to know when the next masterclass is scheduled.
Parents, click here for your masterclasses 
❤️ You're invited to my FACEBOOK GROUPS. Can't wait to see you there:) 
Parents, come on over and join the Autism ADHD Facebook Group for Parents
Therapists & educators, join the Facebook Group for professionals 
Subscribe, Support & Share
📱 Follow: @theautismadhdpodcast on Instagram and Facebook
📺 Come on over to YouTube and check out Autism ADHD TV with Holly
Please leave a review! Your 5-star reviews help other families and professionals find The Autism ADHD Podcast. Thank you:)
About Holly Blanc Moses
Holly Blanc Moses is a neurodivergent psychologist, speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.

ADHD & Autism: Why Chores Are So Hard and How To Teach Chores in a Way That Actually Works:) 
Why do chores turn into power struggles in so many ADHD and autistic families?
It's not laziness.
It's not defiance.
And it's definitely not a character flaw.
In this episode of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Holly Blanc Moses sits down with adolescent psychologist Dr. Cam Caswell to unpack why chores feel like a nightmare for neurodivergent kids and teens.
If you're parenting a child with ADHD or autism and struggling with:
Executive functioning challenges
Chore refusal
Emotional meltdowns over "simple" tasks
Fear about your child's future
Power struggles at home
This conversation will change how you see chores forever.
You'll learn:
✔ Why chasing compliance actually builds resentment
✔ The difference between responsibility and obedience
✔ How executive functioning impacts task initiation
✔ Why chores are an adult priority (not a teen priority)
✔ How to teach life skills without shame
✔ A neurodiversity-affirming approach to building ownership
✔ How to reduce conflict while increasing competence
This episode is essential listening for:
Parents of ADHD and/or autistic children and teens
Therapists and psychologists working with neurodivergent families
Educators
Parenting coaches
If you want to raise responsible, confident kids without damaging connection — this episode is for you! 
Sincerely, Holly Blanc Moses, The Mom/Neurodivergent Therapist
P.S. I've got more goodness for you!
🥁🥁🥁🥁 MORE Great information for you! 
The 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide is now available, including three detailed cases with accommodations for ONLY $27.95
What's Inside:
📚 Academic Supports (45 accommodations)
From pre-teaching strategies to assistive technology, the tools students need to access the curriculum without barriers
🎨 Sensory & Environmental Supports (22 accommodations)
Create a learning environment where your child can focus, regulate, and engage—not just survive
🧠 Executive Functioning & Self-Advocacy (24 accommodations)
Build the skills that will serve them for life—organization, time management, and speaking up for their needs
🤝 Social Supports (21 accommodations)
Turn recess and group work from nightmare to opportunity with structured, supportive approaches
💚 Mental Health & Emotional Regulation (23 accommodations)
Because learning can't happen when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or in crisis
Plus:
✅ An example of each accommodation
✅ 3 detailed cases along with accommodations
✅ Tips on how to identify areas of need
✅ Free helpful education resources
Don't miss this opportunity to access 135 neurodiversity-affirming accommodations for only $27.95
➡️ Parents click here
➡️ Therapists click here
➡️ Educators click here
Thank you for your advocacy!
After you get your guide, you can also access these free resources below:) ⬇️
🌟 Get your FREE "Get To Know My Child Snapshot"
Parents click here, Therapists click here, Educators click here
⭐️ Hey Therapists! Come on over for NEURODIVERSITY-AFFIRMING CONTINUING EDUCATION 
Enhance your therapeutic approach with our affirming and engaging trainings while earning CE credits to fulfill your professional development requirements, as our courses are approved by the NBCC.
Therapists click here
⭐️ Welcome to our PARENT MASTERCLASSES WITH Q&A 
Each live class is packed with supportive strategies on the topics parents want most. Can't make it live? No worries, because you'll get the replay. Sign up to be the first to know when the next masterclass is scheduled.
Parents, click here for your masterclasses 
❤️ You're invited to my FACEBOOK GROUPS. Can't wait to see you there:) 
Parents, come on over and join the Autism ADHD Facebook Group for Parents
Therapists & educators, join the Facebook Group for professionals 
Subscribe, Support & Share
📱 Follow: @theautismadhdpodcast on Instagram and Facebook
📺 Come on over to YouTube and check out Autism ADHD TV with Holly
Please leave a review! Your 5-star reviews help other families and professionals find The Autism ADHD Podcast. Thank you:)
About Holly Blanc Moses
Holly Blanc Moses is a neurodivergent psychologist, speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.
About Dr. Cam
Dr. Cam Caswell, PhD—"The Teen Translator"—is an adolescent psychologist, parenting coach, TEDx speaker, and host of the Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam podcast. With over 20 years of experience and a teen of her own, Dr. Cam combines professional expertise with personal insight to help parents stop yelling, start connecting, and rebuild trust at home. With over 330K followers on Instagram, she's a trusted voice for parents who want practical, compassionate support, not more guilt. As one parent shared, "I learned more in 20 minutes than in 4 years of struggling with my teen."
Her mission: Empower parents. Uplift teens. Transform families.

Why are morning routines and bedtime routines so hard for ADHD and autistic kids?
If your mornings feel chaotic…
If bedtime turns into battles…
If you've tried "sleep hygiene," reward charts, reminders, and it still falls apart…
This episode is for you.
In this conversation, I sit down with occupational therapist Dr. Peyton Gemmell to talk about why routines are especially difficult for neurodivergent kids and teens — and what actually helps.
Here's what I need you to hear:
It's not laziness.
It's not defiance.
It's executive functioning, sensory processing, transitions, and overwhelm.
We break down:
• Why morning chaos happens in ADHD and autistic children
• How executive functioning impacts routines
• Why traditional sleep hygiene advice often isn't enough
• The role of sensory regulation in bedtime struggles
• How to identify which part of the routine is actually hard
• Simple, practical systems that reduce overwhelm (including a powerful visual basket strategy)
• How to reduce shame while building real-life skills
We also talk about something parents don't hear enough:
The same routine will not work forever.
Neurodivergent brains need toolkits — not rigid systems.
Whether you're a parent, therapist, educator, or a neurodivergent adult trying to build sustainable routines, this episode offers practical, compassionate strategies rooted in neurodiversity-affirming care.
If you're tired of feeling frustrated before 8am…
If you want to support your child without increasing shame…
If you're ready for systems that actually make sense…
Press play.
Sincerely, Holly Blanc Moses, The Mom/Neurodivergent Therapist
P.S. I've got more goodness for you!
🥁🥁🥁🥁 MORE Great information for you! 
The 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide is now available, including three detailed cases with accommodations for ONLY $27.95
What's Inside:
📚 Academic Supports (45 accommodations)
From pre-teaching strategies to assistive technology, the tools students need to access the curriculum without barriers
🎨 Sensory & Environmental Supports (22 accommodations)
Create a learning environment where your child can focus, regulate, and engage—not just survive
🧠 Executive Functioning & Self-Advocacy (24 accommodations)
Build the skills that will serve them for life—organization, time management, and speaking up for their needs
🤝 Social Supports (21 accommodations)
Turn recess and group work from nightmare to opportunity with structured, supportive approaches
💚 Mental Health & Emotional Regulation (23 accommodations)
Because learning can't happen when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or in crisis
Plus:
✅ An example of each accommodation
✅ 3 detailed cases along with accommodations
✅ Tips on how to identify areas of need
✅ Free helpful education resources
Don't miss this opportunity to access 135 neurodiversity-affirming accommodations for only $27.95
➡️ Parents click here
➡️ Therapists click here
➡️ Educators click here
Thank you for your advocacy!
After you get your guide, you can also access these free resources below:) ⬇️
🌟 Get your FREE "Get To Know My Child Snapshot"
Parents click here, Therapists click here, Educators click here
⭐️ Hey Therapists! Come on over for NEURODIVERSITY-AFFIRMING CONTINUING EDUCATION 
Enhance your therapeutic approach with our affirming and engaging trainings while earning CE credits to fulfill your professional development requirements, as our courses are approved by the NBCC.
Therapists click here
⭐️ Welcome to our PARENT MASTERCLASSES WITH Q&A 
Each live class is packed with supportive strategies on the topics parents want most. Can't make it live? No worries, because you'll get the replay. Sign up to be the first to know when the next masterclass is scheduled.
Parents, click here for your masterclasses 
❤️ You're invited to my FACEBOOK GROUPS. Can't wait to see you there:) 
Parents, come on over and join the Autism ADHD Facebook Group for Parents
Therapists & educators, join the Facebook Group for professionals 
Subscribe, Support & Share
📱 Follow: @theautismadhdpodcast on Instagram and Facebook
📺 Come on over to YouTube and check out Autism ADHD TV with Holly
Please leave a review! Your 5-star reviews help other families and professionals find The Autism ADHD Podcast. Thank you:)
About Holly Blanc Moses
Holly Blanc Moses is a neurodivergent psychologist, speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.
About Peyton Gemmell
Dr. Peyton Gemmell is an occupational therapist and founder of Light Minded OT, where she specializes in supporting teen girls and women with ADHD. She supports clients in strengthening executive functioning skills, navigate sensory processing differences, and build sustainable daily routines. Her work focuses on practical skill development and environmental modification to reduce overwhelm and improve participation in school, home, and community life. Peyton is passionate about helping teen show up the way they want and need to in day to day life.

What if the problem isn't motivation… but misunderstanding?
In this episode, we dive deep into executive functioning and the powerful role of "why" in understanding ADHD and neurodivergent children and teens.
Joining me is Dani Donovan — ADHD advocate, comic artist, and author of The Anti-Planner — for an honest and validating conversation about procrastination, overwhelm, shame, and the myth of laziness.
If you've ever thought:
"Why won't they just do it?"
"They know what to do — so why aren't they doing it?"
"Am I doing something wrong as a parent?"
"Why does trying harder not work?"
This episode is for you.
We explore:
Why executive functioning struggles are not laziness
The critical difference between knowing and doing
Why shame never improves behavior
How misunderstanding leads to blame
The emotional experience of ADHD
Why "trying harder" is not a strategy
How asking "why?" changes everything
Practical ways to shift from frustration to curiosity
Why understanding must come before intervention
For parents, this conversation offers relief and clarity.
For therapists and clinicians, it reinforces the importance of neurodiversity-affirming, emotionally attuned support that reduces shame and builds capacity.
When we understand the why behind executive functioning challenges, we stop seeing a "problem child" — and start seeing a nervous system that needs support.
Because if they could, they would.
🥁🥁🥁🥁 MORE Great information for you! 
The 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide is now available, including three detailed cases with accommodations for ONLY $27.95
What's Inside:
📚 Academic Supports (45 accommodations)
From pre-teaching strategies to assistive technology, the tools students need to access the curriculum without barriers
🎨 Sensory & Environmental Supports (22 accommodations)
Create a learning environment where your child can focus, regulate, and engage—not just survive
🧠 Executive Functioning & Self-Advocacy (24 accommodations)
Build the skills that will serve them for life—organization, time management, and speaking up for their needs
🤝 Social Supports (21 accommodations)
Turn recess and group work from nightmare to opportunity with structured, supportive approaches
💚 Mental Health & Emotional Regulation (23 accommodations)
Because learning can't happen when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or in crisis
Plus:
✅ An example of each accommodation
✅ 3 detailed cases along with accommodations
✅ Tips on how to identify areas of need
✅ Free helpful education resources
Don't miss this opportunity to access 135 neurodiversity-affirming accommodations for only $27.95
➡️ Parents click here
➡️ Therapists click here
➡️ Educators click here
Thank you for your advocacy!
After you get your guide, you can also access these free resources below:) ⬇️
🌟 Get your FREE "Get To Know My Child Snapshot"
Parents click here, Therapists click here, Educators click here
⭐️ Hey Therapists! Come on over for NEURODIVERSITY-AFFIRMING CONTINUING EDUCATION 
Enhance your therapeutic approach with our affirming and engaging trainings while earning CE credits to fulfill your professional development requirements, as our courses are approved by the NBCC.
Therapists click here
⭐️ Welcome to our PARENT MASTERCLASSES WITH Q&A 
Each live class is packed with supportive strategies on the topics parents want most. Can't make it live? No worries, because you'll get the replay. Sign up to be the first to know when the next masterclass is scheduled.
Parents, click here for your masterclasses 
❤️ You're invited to my FACEBOOK GROUPS. Can't wait to see you there:) 
Parents, come on over and join the Autism ADHD Facebook Group for Parents
Therapists & educators, join the Facebook Group for professionals 
Subscribe, Support & Share
📱 Follow: @theautismadhdpodcast on Instagram and Facebook
📺 Come on over to YouTube and check out Autism ADHD TV with Holly
Please leave a review! Your 5-star reviews help other families and professionals find The Autism ADHD Podcast. Thank you:)
About Holly Blanc Moses
Holly Blanc Moses is a neurodivergent psychologist, speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.
About Dani Donovan
Dani Donovan is an ADHD content creator, public speaker, and author of The Anti-Planner. Through her viral comics and practical tools, she helps people better understand executive functioning, productivity struggles, and the emotional experience of living with ADHD. Make sure to get The Anti-Planner (clean version) and The Anti-Planner (original version)

When I was in first grade, I had a plan for Valentine's Day. A very thoughtful, very Holly plan.
Every classmate was getting a Valentine. But not every classmate was getting the same coin taped inside.
There were the quarter kids. The dime kids. The nickel kids. The penny kids. And one classmate got nothing.
My teacher was not happy. My parents were not happy. And not one single adult that day asked me why I did it.
That part — the part where no one asked — is what this episode is really about.
In this episode, I talk about:
▸  The full story of the Valentine's Day coin system (and why, at seven years old, it made complete sense to me)
▸  What actually happens in a child's nervous system and sense of self when adults skip curiosity and go straight to correction
▸  Why neurodivergent kids stop explaining themselves — and what we accidentally teach them when we don't listen
▸  The one thing I wish an adult had said to me that day — and how you can say it to the kids in your life
▸  A direct challenge: How do YOU want to show up in the next hard moment?
This episode is for parents, therapists, and educators who want to be the person an autistic and adhd child actually feels safe with. The one who asks before they assume. The one who listens before they correct.
It's also for anyone who grew up being the kid that no one asked. You'll know who you are.
🥁🥁🥁🥁 MORE Great information for you! 
The 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide is now available, including three detailed cases with accommodations for ONLY $27.95
What's Inside:
📚 Academic Supports (45 accommodations)
From pre-teaching strategies to assistive technology, the tools students need to access the curriculum without barriers
🎨 Sensory & Environmental Supports (22 accommodations)
Create a learning environment where your child can focus, regulate, and engage—not just survive
🧠 Executive Functioning & Self-Advocacy (24 accommodations)
Build the skills that will serve them for life—organization, time management, and speaking up for their needs
🤝 Social Supports (21 accommodations)
Turn recess and group work from nightmare to opportunity with structured, supportive approaches
💚 Mental Health & Emotional Regulation (23 accommodations)
Because learning can't happen when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or in crisis
Plus:
✅ An example of each accommodation
✅ 3 detailed cases along with accommodations
✅ Tips on how to identify areas of need
✅ Free helpful education resources
Don't miss this opportunity to access 135 neurodiversity-affirming accommodations for only $27.95
➡️ Parents click here
➡️ Therapists click here
➡️ Educators click here
Thank you for your advocacy!
After you get your guide, you can also access these free resources below:) ⬇️
🌟 Get your FREE "Get To Know My Child Snapshot"
Parents click here, Therapists click here, Educators click here
⭐️ Hey Therapists! Come on over for NEURODIVERSITY-AFFIRMING CONTINUING EDUCATION 
Enhance your therapeutic approach with our affirming and engaging trainings while earning CE credits to fulfill your professional development requirements, as our courses are approved by the NBCC.
Therapists click here
⭐️ Welcome to our PARENT MASTERCLASSES WITH Q&A 
Each live class is packed with supportive strategies on the topics parents want most. Can't make it live? No worries, because you'll get the replay. Sign up to be the first to know when the next masterclass is scheduled.
Parents, click here for your masterclasses 
❤️ You're invited to my FACEBOOK GROUPS. Can't wait to see you there:) 
Parents, come on over and join the Autism ADHD Facebook Group for Parents
Therapists & educators, join the Facebook Group for professionals 
Subscribe, Support & Share
📱 Follow: @theautismadhdpodcast on Instagram and Facebook
📺 Come on over to YouTube and check out Autism ADHD TV with Holly
Please leave a review! Your 5-star reviews help other families and professionals find The Autism ADHD Podcast. Thank you:)
About Holly Blanc Moses
Holly Blanc Moses is a neurodivergent psychologist, speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.