A Millennial Mind

Harnaam Kaur (@harnaamkaur) is a model, motivational speaker, Guinness World Record holder and PCOS activist - known worldwide for keeping her beard. But this conversation goes much deeper than PCOS and facial hair.

Harnaam opens up about growing up South Asian with a condition nobody understood, the bullying that led to self-harm, and how suicidal thoughts eventually gave way to one of the most recognisable faces in body positivity.

She talks about never having been in love at 35, what her beard may have cost her in relationships, and the question she's sitting with for the first time in 15 years about whether she's ready to let it go.

Harnaam says that 2024 was the darkest time of her life — the grief, the PTSD, the night she wrote a letter ready to end it all, and the person whose text the next morning she believes saved her life.

If you've ever built your whole identity around surviving something, this one will stay with you.

⚠️ This episode contains discussion of suicide, self-harm and mental health. If you or someone you know is struggling please reach out to Samaritans on 116 123 (UK, free, 24/7).

🎙️ What we cover:

PCOS symptoms in women and what a diagnosis at 12 actually feels like
Facial hair, hirsutism and growing up South Asian with a body nobody talked about
School bullying, self-harm and the impact on her mental health and body image
The moment she stopped hiding and started fighting back
The ego and anger that followed — and why she's not proud of all of it
Keeping the beard for her Sikh faith — and how that faith has since completely shifted
Never having been in love at 35 and what her PCOS beard may have cost her
Questioning the beard and her identity for the first time in 15 years
South Asian family silence around abuse, honour and speaking out
Grief, PTSD and mental health rock bottom in 2024
The night she called for help and nobody picked up
Finding faith, reading the Bible and what pulled her back from the edge
The difference between body positivity and actually accepting yourself

⏱️ Timestamps:
0:00 — Intro
1:41 — Harnaam introduces herself
3:08 — Being diagnosed with PCOS at 12
5:12 — When the facial hair started and the bullying began
9:43 — Her relationship with the beard now and the limbo she's in
12:37 — Keeping the beard for religion — and how her faith changed
14:13 — The beard, marriage and never having been in love
20:58 — Wanting to know what her face looks like without it
24:15 — Shivani on women in their 30s being told to change themselves
28:17 — From suicidal teenager to angry, ego-driven activist
33:12 — The words from a friend that kept her here
36:12 — Going from rock bottom to a Guinness World Record
39:40 — What made her so angry — and why she's calmer now
41:02 — South Asian families and the silence around abuse
42:38 — Sexual abuse in South Asian communities and the pressure of honour
49:52 — Has she always refused to conform?
54:39 — The performance of body positivity
56:16 — Changing publicly and people not letting you evolve
1:08:57 — The last three years — grief, PTSD and hitting rock bottom
1:13:24 — Reading the Bible as a Sikh and what faith means to her now
1:17:31 — Writing a suicide note and the night nobody picked up
1:19:37 — What got her through and the person who didn't know they saved her life
1:23:10 — Her one piece of advice for anyone struggling right now

🔔 Subscribe for more discussions on mental health, personal growth, and healing! / @shivanipaupodcast

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If you're someone who consults Dr Google more than your actual GP and it sends you into a constant health spiral, this episode is for you.

Dr Nighat Arif (@DrNighatArif) is a practising GP with nearly 19 years in the NHS, women's health specialist, and author of the new book The Complete Guide to Family Health.

In this conversation, we get into why so many of us are more anxious about our health than ever, whether Google and AI are helping or actively making things worse, and what the wellness industry is quietly getting away with. We also go deep on sleep, relationships, supplements, separate beds, and why prevention is the most underrated thing you can do for your long-term health.
If you've ever convinced yourself you had a brain tumour at 2am because of a Google search — this one's for you.

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🎙 What we cover:
What cyberchondria is and why it's rising
Why Googling symptoms isn't always bad — and how to do it right
The truth about IV vitamin drips (and why it might just be expensive hydration)
Which supplements you can actually overdose on — and the risks
Why separate bedrooms might be better for your marriage
Sleep jolts — what's actually happening in your brain
How to spot cherry-picked health data and misinformation
What Dr Nighat thinks about ChatGPT replacing doctors
CBT for health anxiety — what actually works
Dementia prevention: what the Lancet study says you should be doing from birth
The NHS's free health checks — and why you should be using them
Prevention vs cure: Dr Nighat's number one piece of advice after 19 years

⏱ Timestamps:
0:00 – Intro
1:41 – Dr Nighat explains the book
5:32 – What does GP actually stand for?
6:03 – What is cyberchondria?
8:07 – The rise of health anxiety through TikTok reels
9:00 – The woman who thought she had a brain tumour (it was her partner's cigarette smoke)
11:38 – Cherry-picking health data and why it's dangerous
13:20 – Does Dr Nighat Google her own symptoms?
15:03 – Her son's liver transplant — googling as a doctor-turned-mum
21:00 – How to find trustworthy health information online
26:00 – IV vitamin drips: brilliant or a very expensive wee?
32:45 – Supplements — which ones you can actually overdose on
34:40 – Wellness trends and losing intimacy with your partner
37:35 – Why separate beds might be the secret to a happy marriage
45:50 – The science of physical touch and oxytocin
47:52 – Why people jolt in their sleep
50:15 – Cyberchondria in relationships — when your partner won't stop googling
52:54 – What keeps people stuck in health anxiety loops
54:06 – "If you have health anxiety, please don't buy my book"
56:01 – CBT for health anxiety: how it actually works
57:25 – Is ChatGPT replacing your GP?
59:44 – Weird body facts (your ears never stop growing)
1:01:02 – The Lancet study on dementia prevention
1:03:48 – Dr Nighat's number one health advice after 19 years
1:05:26 – Wrap up

Happy with that or anything else to tweak?
🔔 Subscribe for more discussions on mental health, personal growth, and healing! / @shivanipaupodcast

✨ Connect with Millennial Mind ✨

Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amillennialmind
Shivani Pau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shivani.pau
Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/shivanipaupodcast
Performance Planner: https://my-performance-planner.myshopify.com/

#drnighatarif #cyberchondria #healthanxiety #googlesymptoms #familyhealth #supplements #vitaminD #ivdrip #wellnesstrends #preventativemedicine #amillennialmind #shivanipau #nhs #womenshealth #chatgpt #healthmisinformation #sleep #cbtherapy

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Are you struggling to cope when life keeps throwing curveballs, and you have no idea how to stay grounded?

In this solo episode, I'm sharing the exact frameworks, books, and practical exercises that have helped me navigate one of the most overwhelming periods of change I've ever experienced. I spent seven years as a change management consultant before starting this podcast, and in this episode, I'm giving you everything I've learned and used to get me through this period, broken down in a way you can actually use too.

If you're going through a job loss, a breakup, a move, a bereavement, or just a season of life that feels completely unrecognisable — this one is for you.

🎙 What we cover:
Why change gets harder the older we get
The book that completely shifted how I think about change (Who Moved My Cheese)
Stephen Covey's Circle of Control, Influence and Concern — and how to actually use it
The "do you have a problem? can you do something about it?" diagram from Life's Amazing Secrets
A practical fear reframing exercise you can do right now
The "next step" rule — why you only ever need to focus on one thing
A daily reflection exercise: what did I control today?
Why "life is long" is the mindset shift I keep coming back to

Who Moved My Cheese? — Spencer Johnson
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Who-Moved-My-Cheese-Amazing/dp/0091816971
Life's Amazing Secrets — Gaur Gopal Das
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Lifes-Amazing-Secrets-Balance-Purpose/dp/0143442295
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People — Stephen R. Covey
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Habits-Highly-Effective-People-Anniversary/dp/1471195201

⏱ Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
1:30 Why change gets harder as we get older
3:00 My honest life update and why so much is changing right now
8:00 Grief, guilt, and finding reasons to stay stuck
11:00 Book #1: Who Moved My Cheese
15:00 The Circle of Control, Influence and Concern
20:00 Book #2: Life's Amazing Secrets by Gaur Gopal Das
24:00 The "why worry?" equation
27:00 The fear reframe exercise
33:00 The next step rule
37:00 Daily reflection: what did I control?
40:00 Life is long — removing the pressure to get it right now
45:00 Final thoughts

🔔 Subscribe for more discussions on mental health, personal growth, and healing! / @shivanipaupodcast

✨ Connect with Millennial Mind ✨

Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amillennialmind
Shivani Pau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shivani.pau
Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/shivanipaupodcast
Performance Planner: https://my-performance-planner.myshopify.com/

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You're doing everything 'right' when it comes to social media sleep routines... the magnesium, the no screens... but you're still not getting quality sleep? There IS a reason (& a fix!)

This week on A Millennial Mind, I'm chatting with Stephanie Romiszewski (@stephsleepyhead), sleep physiologist, founder of the Sleepyhead Clinic, and author of Think Less, Sleep More. With nearly two decades of clinical experience, she has helped over 10,000 people fix sleep they thought was unfixable.

We dig into why sleep hygiene is largely a myth, why your morning routine matters far more than your night routine, and the two biological mechanisms that actually control your sleep — and how you're probably sabotaging both without knowing it. We also get into popular 'sleep trackers', waking up at 5am, napping, magnesium, pregnancy sleep, and why thinking too hard about your sleep might be the very thing keeping you awake.

If you've ever beaten yourself up about bad sleep, wondered if you're broken, or googled yourself into a spiral of sleep anxiety — this one is for you.

🎙 What we cover:
- Why sleep hygiene doesn't fix chronic sleep problems
- Sleep drive vs circadian rhythm — what they are and why they matter
- Why your morning routine matters more than your evening one
- The truth about wearables and sleep trackers (and why they might be making things worse)
- Light exposure and movement as your most powerful sleep tools
- What chronic insomnia actually is — and what to do about it
- Sleep during pregnancy and as a new mother
- Napping: when it helps and when it doesn't
- Night owls vs morning types — can you change?
- Women and sleep: hormones, menopause, and the invisible mental load
- Magnesium, melatonin, and sleep supplements debunked
- CBT-I and sleep retraining explained
- Stephanie's book: Think Less, Sleep More

⏱ Timestamps:
0:00 – Intro
1:44 – Stephanie's background and the Sleepyhead Clinic
4:49 – What people actually come to Stephanie with
7:34 – How to tell the difference between a bad patch and chronic insomnia
11:40 – The problem with sleep hygiene (and screens before bed)
14:10 – The two mechanisms that control your sleep: sleep drive and circadian rhythm
19:56 – How to identify if you have a strong sleep drive
21:52 – Afternoon tiredness and the circadian dip
22:43 – Why consistency in your wake time matters more than bedtime
27:58 – Sleep trackers: why the data might be hurting you
34:21 – The Pyramid of Sleep Influence — why gadgets are at the top, not the bottom
35:26 – The Lumi light alarm: the one gadget Stephanie actually endorses
37:11 – Blue light glasses: are they worth it?
38:17 – Light in the morning: what actually counts
42:51 – Why we need to stop adding things and start with the basics
46:49 – How to get consistent without an elaborate night routine
47:28 – Morning person vs night owl: can you change?
52:41 – Sleep during menopause
53:08 – Sleep during pregnancy and as a new mum
56:19 – How to know how much sleep you actually need
59:28 – Sleep quality vs sleep duration — which matters more?
1:00:28 – Napping: when it helps vs when it doesn't
1:03:41 – The "morning person" label and whether you need to change
1:06:14 – Night owls and health risks — correlation vs causation
1:09:19 – When to listen to your body (and when not to)
1:09:57 – Do women need more sleep than men?
1:10:24 – Sleep and postpartum recovery
1:11:14 – Quickfire round: light therapy, blue light glasses, sleep tea, magnesium, Lumie lamp, acupressure mat, mattress, temperature, ashwagandha
1:16:20 – The one thing to do this week to improve your sleep
1:16:47 – Closing thoughts

Follow Stephanie: @stephsleepyhead
Think Less, Sleep More is out now

🔔 Subscribe for new episodes every week.

✨ Connect with Millennial Mind ✨

Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amillennialmind
Shivani Pau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shivani.pau
Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/shivanipaupodcast
Performance Planner: https://my-performance-planner.myshopify.com/

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--
#sleep #insomnia #sleepadvice #sleephealth #sleephygiene #morningroutine #circadianrhythm #sleepanxiety #millennialwellness #stephanieromiszewski #sleepyheadclinic #amillennialmind #shivanipau #sleepscience #womenshealth #sleeptips #sleepphysiologist #thinkklesssleepmore
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Why do you feel like a completely different person the week before your period?

This week on A Millennial Mind, I am joined by Dr Faye Bate, a medical doctor who explains exactly what's happening in your brain when your hormones shift — and why some women feel it so much more than others.

In this episode, we break down the real science behind PMS and PMDD, why your blood tests can come back normal when you feel awful, how stress makes everything worse, and why antidepressants aren't always the answer. Faye also opens up about her own experience of freezing her eggs, the emotional toll of fertility pressure, and the viral misinformation that's doing real damage to women.

If you've ever been told "it's just part of being a woman" — this episode will change how you see your mood and help you (and your partner) better prepare for those tricky and emotional few days, so many of us suffer with each month.

🎙 What we cover:
- The neuroscience of why your mood changes before your period
- PMS vs PMDD: how to tell the difference
- Serotonin, GABA and dopamine: what's actually happening in your brain during the menstrual cycle
- Why women with ADHD are more likely to have PMDD
- Antidepressants for PMS: when they help and when they don't
- CBT vs medication: what is the best way to manage your symptoms?
- Egg freezing: Dr Faye's personal experience and what she wasn't expecting
- The biological clock debate: what social media gets dangerously wrong
- Postpartum depression and the link to PMS
- Why lifestyle factors matter more than supplements

⏱ Timestamps:
0:00 – Intro
1:17 – Why "it's just part of being a woman" is harmful
3:59 – The biology of mood swings explained
6:55 – Faye's egg freezing story and the Morley's meltdown
12:48 – PMS vs PMDD — the difference and the suicide risk
15:19 – Serotonin, GABA and dopamine across your cycle
21:05 – Why some women get worse PMS than others
22:33 – What is stress actually doing to your body?
28:05 – How hormonal fluctuations affect women differently
30:44 – The brain scans that prove your emotions aren't irrational
32:01 – Antidepressants for PMS — when they actually work
38:34 – Supplements — what works and what doesn't
41:07 – CBT vs antidepressants for PMS
44:06 – Egg freezing — the emotional and physical reality
48:34 – Why getting your period while trying to conceive is devastating
52:16 – The biological clock lie going viral on social media
58:34 – Postpartum depression and how to prepare
1:03:56 – The one myth about women's moods Faye wants to destroy

Follow Dr Faye: @drfayebate
Follow Shivani: @shivani.pau
Listen on Spotify & Apple Podcasts: A Millennial Mind

🔔 Subscribe for more honest conversations every week.

#PMS #PMDD #hormones #moodswings #womenshealth #menstrualcycle #eggfreezing #fertility #antidepressants #neuroscience #ADHD #postpartumdepression #millennialmind #podcast

🔔 Subscribe for more discussions on mental health, personal growth, and healing! / @shivanipaupodcast

✨ Connect with Millennial Mind ✨

Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amillennialmind
Shivani Pau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shivani.pau
Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/shivanipaupodcast
Performance Planner: https://my-performance-planner.myshopify.com/

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