A Millennial Mind

When was the last time someone asked who you actually are? Not your job, your title or your role, but you?

In this episode, I sit down with former Victoria’s Secret model, content creator and mum of two Vita Sidokina for a conversation she’s never had in an interview before. Vita opens up about walking away from a modeling career she thought would last forever, the postpartum depression that forced her to start from zero, and how motherhood healed her relationship with her body. We talk about the painful “in-between” stage of any life pivot, why she calls herself a selfish mum, and how the tough-love parenting she grew up with shaped her drive. This conversation is for anyone outgrowing an old version of themselves and wondering who they are underneath it.

We talk about:

- Losing your identity after a career change or motherhood
- Why the “in-between” stage of a pivot keeps you stuck
- Postpartum depression and learning to start from zero
- Healing your relationship with your body through motherhood
- Why putting yourself first makes you a better mum
- Tough-love parenting, unconditional love and high standards
- Letting go of the victim mindset
- How to find out who you really are, and why half effort never works
- Why no phase of your life is permanent
- Choosing friendships wisely in your 30s

If you’ve ever felt like you don’t recognise the person you’re becoming, or you’re grieving who you used to be, this episode is your reminder that you can always start again.

Make sure you’re subscribed and have notifications on so you never miss an episode.

Follow Vita: @VitaSidorkinachannel

#AMillennialMind #IdentityShift #MotherhoodJourney

Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 Who are you, really?
2:10 Welcome Vita
3:08 From Russia to Victoria’s Secret
4:50 Why she walked away from modeling
7:18 Grieving the old version of yourself
9:11 Accepting life changes without resentment
10:08 The danger of being “in-between” identities
11:02 Postpartum depression and starting from zero
12:18 Vegan chef, ice cream brand and finding her thing
13:15 Pivoting your content and your audience
16:36 Staying motivated when nobody engages
19:06 Is the algorithm the new rat race?
20:49 How motherhood healed her relationship with her body
24:49 Best shape of her life after two kids
26:43 Why she’s a “selfish” mum
29:18 When being at home isn’t enough
31:00 Kids copy what you do, not what you say
33:20 Career sacrifices and dropping the victim mindset
35:51 Raised on “Okay, what’s next?”
39:40 Unconditional love with high standards
41:16 Life is on your side
42:47 Ignoring other people’s opinions
45:55 How to find out who you really are
47:32 Why half effort never works
48:55 How to stick with something new
49:29 The biggest lesson from changing identities
50:17 No phase of your life is permanent
53:15 Choosing friendships wisely in your 30s
55:05 Outgrowing friends and being direct
58:06 The quote she lives by
58:38 Next week’s episode

🔔 Subscribe for more discussions on mental health, personal growth, and healing! / @shivanipaupodcast

✨ Connect with Millennial Mind ✨

Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amillennialmind
Shivani Pau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shivani.pau
Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/shivanipaupodcast
Performance Planner: https://my-performance-planner.myshopify.com/

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Is the spark in your relationship supposed to fade, or is losing it a sign that something’s wrong?

In this episode, I sit down with Maria G. Sosa, a licensed couples therapist (you might know her as Holistically Grace) who has been through divorce herself. We get into why the spark fades in every long-term relationship, the small resentments that quietly pull couples apart, and what healthy love actually needs once the honeymoon stage is over.

If you’re ready to launch your business before Black Friday, go to shopify.com to start your free trial.

We talk about:

Why being a “divorced couples therapist” kept her in her marriage longer than she should have stayed.
What the spark really is, and why it has to fade.
How to tell if feeling disconnected is a hard season or a real problem.
Why there’s no “normal” amount of intimacy, only what works for you two.
The early warning signs couples miss (it’s usually what’s been left unsaid)
How to bring up hard conversations without your partner getting defensive.
Why emotional safety is the most underrated part of any relationship.
Why communication isn’t always the real problem.
What to do when you’re the only one trying to change.
How she finally knew it was time to leave.

If you’ve ever felt disconnected from someone you love and wondered whether it’s normal or the beginning of the end, this conversation will help you understand what that feeling is really telling you.

Subscribe and turn on notifications so you don’t miss the next one; it genuinely helps me bring on more incredible guests.

Follow Maria G. Sosa: [add her @holisticallygrace]

AD: This episode is supported by Let’s Save Water. Small changes, repeated by enough of us, add up. Search “Let’s Save Water” or visit letssavewater.com for simple ways to save water every day.

#AMillennialMind #RelationshipAdvice #CouplesTherapy

Chapters
00:00 Intro: can divorce teach you more about love?
02:05 Welcome, Maria G. Sosa
02:54 Who is Maria?
03:17 Being a divorced couples therapist
05:51 What is “the spark”?
07:42 Does the spark have to fade?
09:28 Is it normal to feel disconnected?
10:33 How to know if it’s a real problem
12:04 Is there a “normal” amount of intimacy?
13:43 The early signs couples miss
17:13 How to start difficult conversations
24:51 Why you should never start with “you”
28:21 It’s not conflict, it’s the lack of repair
29:06 Ad break
30:00 Why safety is the most underrated part of love
34:46 How to build emotional safety
38:05 When your partner says “you’re always complaining”
41:12 When work and ambition strain the relationship
44:03 Why couples wait 2.68 years for therapy
47:37 Why communication isn’t the real problem
52:13 The stories we tell ourselves
53:39 How resentment quietly builds
54:38 Can you break the cycle?
55:26 When only one partner wants to change
57:00 When is it worth fighting for?
59:07 Why breakups shake your identity
59:48 How Maria knew it was time to leave
1:02:02 There’s no certainty in love
1:03:53 One piece of advice if your spark is fading
1:05:27 Coming up next

🔔 Subscribe for more discussions on mental health, personal growth, and healing! / @shivanipaupodcast

✨ Connect with Millennial Mind ✨

Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amillennialmind
Shivani Pau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shivani.pau
Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/shivanipaupodcast
Performance Planner: https://my-performance-planner.myshopify.com/

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Do you owe the internet every part of your life?

In this solo episode of A Millennial Mind, I share why I didn’t tell anyone I was pregnant until I was six months along, even though I share so much of my life online.

I recorded this at the end of my second trimester, while our plans were still changing almost every week. In it, I talk honestly about the three reasons I chose to keep this chapter private. The first was protecting myself from unsolicited advice. The second was wanting to hold on to the sacredness of such a magical time. The third is the one I’m still unsure about: energy, and nazar (the evil eye).

This isn’t me telling you what’s right or wrong. It’s simply my experience, and I hope it gives you a different perspective.

Because this goes far beyond pregnancy. Whether you’re changing jobs, starting a new relationship, moving cities or making a big decision, you don’t have to tell everyone everything until you’ve figured it out for yourself.

In this episode:

- Why I kept my pregnancy private for six months
- The growing pressure to share everything online
- Why unsolicited advice can become noise
- Listening to your own intuition during big decisions
- The sacredness of pregnancy and telling family in person
- What happens when everything becomes content
- Nazar, the evil eye and protecting your energy
- Radiators vs drainers: the people who lift you and the ones who drain you
- Being mindful of those experiencing loss and fertility struggles
- Why you don’t owe anyone your story

If you’ve ever felt like you had to explain yourself, or share something before you were ready, I hope this episode reminds you that some things are allowed to stay just yours.

AD:

In England, we're using water faster than nature can replace it, and in Wales, wetter winters and drier summers are putting pressure on the water supply. We often use more than we realise, but we don't need massive lifestyle changes to change these stats.
Everyday ways to save water:

Cut your shower by two minutes to save 28L
Use a washing up bowl instead of a running tap to save 10L per minute
Fix a leaky loo to save up to 400L a day
Use eco-mode on appliances to save 10L per wash

Search "Let's Save Water" or visit letssavewater.com to see what small changes you could make, and maybe have a chat with your friends and family about this too.

#AMillennialMind #PregnancyJourney #protectyourenergy

Timestamps
00:00 Why I Kept My Pregnancy a Secret for 6 Months
00:51 Not Everything Needs to Be Shared Online
01:40 The Pressure to Share Everything to Be “Authentic”
02:17 How I Hid My Bump
03:12 The 3 Reasons I Kept It Private
04:42 Reason 1: Avoiding Unsolicited Advice
05:42 Finding Out I Was Pregnant After Dubai
06:12 How the Pregnancy Changed All Our Plans
08:21 Why I Didn’t Want Anyone Else’s Opinion
09:53 Why Too Many Opinions Become Noise
10:34 Don’t Take Advice From People Who Haven’t Done It
11:24 Learning to Trust My Own Intuition
11:52 AD
12:52 Reason 2: The Sacredness of Pregnancy
13:58 Telling Our Families in Person
14:45 When Everything Becomes Content
16:49 Why I Don’t Share Week-by-Week Pregnancy Updates
17:30 Why I’m Ready to Share It Now
18:27 Reason 3: The Evil Eye & Nazar
20:05 Radiators vs Drainers: Positive & Negative Energy
21:19 Why I’m Still Unsure About Nazar
21:58 The Reactions I Didn’t Expect
23:44 Not Everyone Reacts the Way You Expect
24:15 Being Mindful of Loss & Fertility Struggles
25:34 You Don’t Owe Anyone Your Story
26:06 Only You Know What’s Right for You

🔔 Subscribe for more discussions on mental health, personal growth, and healing! / @shivanipaupodcast

✨ Connect with Millennial Mind ✨

Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amillennialmind
Shivani Pau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shivani.pau
Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/shivanipaupodcast
Performance Planner: https://my-performance-planner.myshopify.com/

Let Me Change Your Mind 🧠
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why do some traditions feel like a warm hug, while others leave you questioning everything?

In this episode, I sit down with my friend Shivani Bafna, content creator and new mom, who openly shares the reality of motherhood online. We talk about pregnancy, postpartum recovery and the Indian traditions passed down through generations. She shares which ones helped her, which advice she chose to accept or ignore, and how she kept her peace with parents, in-laws and the internet all weighing in. Motherhood doesn't have to mean choosing between honouring your culture and doing what feels right for you.

We talk about:

Her real emotions when she found out she was pregnant, and the pressure South Asian women feel to act excited about motherhood
Never seeing herself as "maternal," and the fear of losing her identity
How our own mothers shape what we believe motherhood should look like
Handling unsolicited advice, and why she asked her family questions instead of handing them rules
The no-visitors debate, and why she chose her mental health
Why every parenting decision has a trade-off, and "call me a bad mom"
Three generations, three laddu recipes, and how she picked one without offending anyone
The 40-day postpartum diet: saffron milk, fenugreek water and nourishing food for recovery
Why every woman struggles with postpartum, and why motherhood doesn't have to be binary

If you've ever felt torn between the traditions you grew up with and the mother you want to be, this conversation will make you feel a lot less alone.

Subscribe and turn on notifications so you don't miss the next one; it genuinely helps me bring on more incredible guests.

Follow Shivani Bafna: @shivani_bafna https://www.instagram.com/shivani_bafna

AD:

In England, we're using water faster than nature can replace it, and in Wales, wetter winters and drier summers are putting pressure on the water supply. We often use more than we realise, but we don't need massive lifestyle changes to change these stats.
Everyday ways to save water:

Cut your shower by two minutes to save 28L
Use a washing up bowl instead of a running tap to save 10L per minute
Fix a leaky loo to save up to 400L a day
Use eco-mode on appliances to save 10L per wash

Search "Let's Save Water" or visit letssavewater.com to see what small changes you could make, and maybe have a chat with your friends and family about this too.

#AMillennialMind #Postpartum #SouthAsianMotherhood

Chapters
00:00 Intro: why old motherhood traditions are only now making sense
02:47 Welcome, Shivani Bafna
03:53 Who was Shivani before the public eye?
04:28 Growing up Indian in the Midwest
08:03 "I was never maternal"
11:02 How our mothers shape our idea of motherhood
16:17 Her real emotions when she found out she was pregnant
19:37 When your parents disagree with your pregnancy choices
23:31 Navigating unsolicited advice as a first-time mom
28:37 Why family support is give and take
30:24 The problem with fear-based motherhood content
33:15 AD: Let's Save Water
34:05 Living under one roof with the whole family
34:47 The no-visitors rule: does she regret it?
38:52 Every parenting decision has a trade-off
39:46 The no-kissing rule
40:57 How to set boundaries with parents and in-laws
42:05 Have these conversations before the baby arrives
44:18 Three generations, three laddu recipes
46:49 Treating your family like key stakeholders
47:33 When everyone in the family disagrees
49:40 Why it's okay to change your mind as a parent
53:19 The 40-day postpartum diet
56:34 Collective care in South Asian culture
58:59 The truth about postpartum
1:01:05 Adapting traditions to work for you
1:02:26 Motherhood doesn't have to be binary
1:03:38 Final thoughts

🔔 Subscribe for more discussions on mental health, personal growth, and healing! / @shivanipaupodcast

✨ Connect with Millennial Mind ✨

Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amillennialmind
Shivani Pau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shivani.pau
Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/shivanipaupodcast
Performance Planner: https://my-performance-planner.myshopify.com/

Let Me Change Your Mind 🧠
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why do some relationships feel safe and easy, while others leave you constantly overthinking?

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Amir Levine, psychiatrist, neuroscientist and bestselling author of Attached and his new book, Secure. We talk about the four attachment styles and why your style isn't something to heal from. It's a biology you can learn to work with. The little everyday moments are what actually rewire your brain to feel safer in love, friendship and family.

We talk about:

The four attachment styles, and why you can have a different one with every person in your life
The smoke experiment that shows the hidden strengths of anxious and avoidant people
Why tiny everyday interactions matter more than big therapy breakthroughs
The five pillars of a secure life, and how to show up for people even when life is full
Why one partner can't be everything, and how to build your "secure village"
The three pitfalls avoidants fall into, and the simple fixes that save relationships
"Wall tennis with love," a tool for anxious people in one-sided friendships
Why parents have far less influence on your adult attachment style than you've been told
How anxious attachment can be a superpower when you learn to use it

If you've ever blamed yourself for being "too much" or "too distant," this conversation will change how you see yourself and the people you love.

Subscribe and turn on notifications so you don't miss the next one; it genuinely helps me bring on more incredible guests.

AD:

In England, we’re using water faster than nature can replace it, and in Wales, wetter winters and drier summers are putting pressure on the water supply. We often use more than we realise, we don't need massive lifestyle changes to change these stats. Everyday ways to save water:• Cut your shower by two minutes to save 28L• Use a washing up bowl instead of a running tap tosave 10L per minute• Fix a leaky loo to save up to 400L a day• Use eco-mode on appliances to save 10L per washSearch “Let’s Save Water” or visit letssavewater.com to see what small changes you could make and maybe have a chat with your friends and family about this too.

#AMillennialMind #AttachmentStyles #Relationships

Chapters
00:00 Intro: why some relationships leave you overthinking
02:26 Welcome, Dr. Amir Levine
02:49 Why he wrote Attached and Secure
03:40 The four attachment styles explained
06:03 Different attachment styles with different people
07:59 Is being secure the goal?
08:30 The smoke experiment: hidden strengths of each style
10:50 Why the little moments matter most
13:43 When our first recording fell apart
18:43 Why attachment is a daily practice
20:15 What if your partner isn't secure?
22:46 Why different people support us in different ways
24:53 Turning "insecure" traits into strengths
26:55 Why we expect friends to be everything
28:42 When friendships drift apart
30:31 The five pillars of a secure life
33:25 The small thank-yous that make us secure
35:27 A loyalty program for relationships
36:15 How the human brain actually feels safe
37:37 The health benefits of feeling connected
39:39 Stop villainising avoidants
40:56 Avoidant pitfall #1: "Heal thyself"
42:53 Avoidant pitfall #2: breaking the baseline
46:09 Are you avoidant in your friendships?
47:03 Why teenagers pull away from parents
49:58 Avoidant pitfall #3: closeness overdose
53:23 How do I raise a secure child?
55:36 Sleep training, breastfeeding and attachment myths
57:44 Anxious baby vs anxious attachment
58:46 Attachment ingenuity: staying connected your way
1:00:29 How to handle an anxious friend
1:01:15 Wall tennis with love
1:04:14 When the other person isn't doing the work
1:07:54 What shapes the other 90% of your attachment style
1:08:21 What worms and dogs teach us about closeness
1:10:04 Why secure people don't overthink it
1:10:49 Anxious attachment as a superpower
1:12:34 The adopted sisters story
1:14:16 When your strengths become your swords
1:14:56 What he wants you to believe about yourself
1:15:36 Final thoughts

🔔 Subscribe for more discussions on mental health, personal growth, and healing! / @shivanipaupodcast

✨ Connect with Millennial Mind ✨

Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amillennialmind
Shivani Pau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shivani.pau
Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/shivanipaupodcast
Performance Planner: https://my-performance-planner.myshopify.com/

Let Me Change Your Mind 🧠
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices