Good Grief

• Lost Angels

  In these times of increasing assaults on the queer community, we replay an episode from 2015 in which Kevin Fisher-Paulson recounted the triplets he and his husband fostered then lost as a result of homophobia. Going on the adopt two more children as the climate improved, his story is a cautionary tale about the family traumas that can come from societal bias. Kevin Fisher-Paulson was the author of the books “How We Keep Spinning,” “A Song for Lost Angels” and “Secrets of the Blue Bungalow.” He lived with his husband, Brian, their two sons and a pack of rescue dogs in the neighborhood he dubbed the “Outer, Outer, Outer, Outer Excelsior.” In addition to being a writer, Kevin served as commander of the honor guard for the San Francisco Sheriff’s Department. Gifts in Kevin’s memory can be made to the Innocence Project or the Most Holy Redeemer AIDS Support Group. His column in the San Francisco Chronicle was widely read and appreciated.

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• Always There, Always Gone

  Marty Ross-Dolen grew up in the shadow of her mother's grief. Her mother's parents had died in a plane crash when she was 14, just 5 years before Marty was born. She knew that her mother was different from her friend's mothers. Knowing this led to Marty trying to protect her mother, never really asking to know the whole story. The ways in which she could still know them were also blocked off. But as an adult, Marty investigated their lives to form a strong relationship with them. As the heads of Highlight Magazine, they were very visible and public. There were also letters and newspaper clippings. Over time, Marty came to know them, even in their absence. And that is how she came to love them and repair the break in her family legacy. Marty Ross-Dolen is a graduate of Wellesley College and Albert Einstein College of Medicine and is a retired child and adolescent psychiatrist. She holds an MFA in Writing from Vermont College of Fine Arts. Prior to her time at VCFA, she participated in graduate-level workshops at The Ohio State University. Her essays have appeared in North Dakota Quarterly, Redivider, Lilith, Willow Review, and the Brevity Blog, among others. Her essay entitled “Diphtheria” was named a notable essay in The Best American Essays series. She teaches writing and lives in Columbus, Ohio.  

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  55:35
• Breath Becoming AIr

  When Dr. Paul Kalanithi faced a stage IV lung cancer diagnosis in his last year as a neurosurgical resident, his wife, Dr. Lucy Kalanithi faced it with him. In the twenty-two months that followed, they continued to work, had a child and he wrote a best selling book . But since his death, how have her grief and her love showed themselves? She made sure that his book, when Breath Becomes Air, was published and promoted, most importantly by her. She carried his love forward into her own life and parenting of their daughter Cady. And she lent her energy to projects that reflect the intersection between that most impactful walk through cancer with Paul, and her interest in meaning in medicine, patient-centered care and end-of-life care. So it is no surprise that she is on the advisory board of the OpenIDEO end of life challenge, exploring how to improve end of life experiences world wide. Hear how this newest passion connects with what she and Paul experienced during his illness and death. Dr. Lucy Kalanithi is a Clinical Assistant Professor of Medicine at the Stanford School of Medicine and the widow of the late Dr. Paul Kalanithi, author of the #1 New York Times bestselling memoir, When Breath Becomes Air, for which she wrote the epilogue. She completed her medical degree at Yale, residency at the University of California-San Francisco, and a postdoctoral felllowship in healthcare delivery innovation at Stanford's Clinical Excellence Research Center. Her late husband Paul Kalanithi was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer at age 36 while a chief neurosurgical resident at Stanford. In the 22 months between Paul's cancer diagnosis and his death last year, Lucy and Paul continued to work as physicians and decided to have a baby daughter, and Paul wrote When Breath Becomes Air, which was published posthumously in January 2016 and immediately went to #1 on the New York Times nonfiction bestseller list. At the cross-section of her medical career and her personal experience standing alongside her husband during his illness, she has special interests in healthcare value, meaning in medicine, patient-centered care and end-of-life care. She has been interviewed by PBS NewsHour, Charlie Rose, NPR's Morning Edition, yahoo news with Katie Couric, and the New York Times. She lives in the Bay Area with her daughter, Cady.

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  53:51
• The Black Widow

  When Leslie Streeter's husband, the love of her life, died suddenly after asking for kisses, she struggled to fulfill the life they had built together. Would she be able to complete the adoption of their son, not even 3 years old? How would she raise him alone? And how would she navigate this crushing grief? She would rely on community, family and humor to clear a path, taking one step at a time and guided by what her husband, Scott, had envisioned for them. Slowly, and surely, her way forward would become clear. But the pain of losing Scott, for herself and for their son, would have to be felt! Leslie Gray Streeter is an author, veteran journalist and speaker. whose memoir “Black Widow:” was published in March 2020 by Little, Brown and Company. Until recently, she was the longtime entertainment and lifestyle columnist and writer for the Palm Beach Post. A native of Baltimore, Md and a University of Maryland graduate, she and her work have been featured in The Washington Post, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, the Atlantic, the Today show, SiriusXM, O, The Oprah Magazine and more. She lives with her son Brooks and her mother Tina in her hometown of Baltimore, which she moved back to last summer. She’s a slow runner, an amateur vegan cook and a true crime and “Law and Order” enthusiast. She's a not-bad guitar player but she sometimes sings loud over the bad notes.

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  56:30
• That Good Night

  Raised with a keen awareness that everything is impermanent, that all life ends, Sunita Puri was challenged to find a way to come to terms with medicine's inability to accept these truths. Her perspective was at odds with the training she was receiving as a medical student, where any death, even an inevitable one, was a failure. When she was finally exposed to a palliative care rotation she found her home in medicine. Palliative care, which supports patients to live well for as long as possible, brought these two parts of her together. How do her early family teachings in a Hindu family inform her work now? And how does her medical training support her palliative care work and the training she offers to others?

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