In this episode, host Rachael Wonderlin sits down with award-winning journalist and author Stefanie O'Connell for a razor-sharp conversation about tradwife culture, gendered labor, and why women are still penalized for ambition.
Stefanie, whose forthcoming book The Ambition Penalty debunks the myths surrounding women's work, money, and power, breaks down the rise of the "tradwife" aesthetic, the illusion behind it, and the very real structural issues that make this content resonate with so many women.
This conversation goes far beyond social media trends and digs into policy, power, partnerships, and the economic realities shaping modern womanhood.
Key Takeaways:
– Tradwife content romanticizes gendered labor, packaging traditional gender hierarchy as aesthetic lifestyle content.
– Ambition is still gendered. Women ask for more as often as men but are less likely to get it, because they're penalized for the same behaviors that benefit men.
– The system runs on women's unpaid work. Childcare, eldercare, and emotional labor still fall mostly on women, limiting their time, income, and long-term security.
– Benevolent sexism is a trap. "Be beautiful, compliant, and we'll protect you" sounds comforting, but societies built on this model have worse outcomes for women and men.
– Interdependence is the real goal. Neither girlboss independence nor tradwife dependence works. We need shared labor, community, and flexible systems that support everyone.
Memorable Quotes:
"If something asks you to shrink, to pull back, to make yourself smaller, that's a red flag — no matter how benevolent it's framed."
"Care work is the cost of living in a society. Everyone depends on it, but women are the ones expected to do it for free."
"Tradwife content isn't about valuing care work, but about maintaining a gender hierarchy where women's labor subsidizes men's success."
"I didn't tell clients I was pregnant until late in my pregnancy because I was afraid I'd lose work. That's the pressure women feel."
"The caregiving burden hits women on both ends — raising children and then caring for aging parents. It's the same pattern."
About the Guest:
Stefanie O'Connell is an award-winning journalist, author, and researcher whose work focuses on money, power, ambition, and gender. Her reporting has been featured in Slate, Bloomberg, Newsweek, USA Today, Glamour UK, Business Insider, and CNBC.
She wrote, hosted, and co-produced Real Simple's podcast Money Confidential, and publishes the popular Substack Too Ambitious, where she examines how cultural narratives shape women's economic and professional lives.
Her forthcoming book, The Ambition Penalty: How Corporate Culture Tells Women to Step Up and Then Pushes Them Down (May 2026), uncovers the systems that punish women for doing exactly what they're told will help them succeed. Preorders are now available.
Stefanie's Substack: https://tooambitious.substack.com/
Preorder The Ambition Penalty: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-ambition-penalty-stefanie-oconnell/1148171301?ean=9781541705210
About Rachael:
Rachael Wonderlin is a dementia care consultant and gerontologist. She founded her consultancy, Dementia By Day, in 2014. She is the author of When Someone You Know is Living in a Dementia Care Community, Creative Engagement, and The Caregiver's Guide to Memory Care and Dementia Communities.
Find out more at www.rachaelwonderlin.com and Instagram.com/dementiabyday.