The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

This episode is an update and re-record of episode 56
Consequences. Punishments. Limits. Boundaries.

These words don't mean the same thing but we often use them interchangeably.

In this episode, we get clear on what exactly is a consequence versus a punishment versus a boundary.

And how parenting through the lens of regulation, connection, and felt-safety is absolutely not boundary-less or permissive parenting.

It's a way of looking at our kids and asking "What does my child need for their success to be inevitable?" and then giving them that.

It definitely isn't about making sure our kids are always happy or never frustrated or we always say yes.

It's about changing the lens on how we view their expressions of emotions and behaviors.

And yes- it's about setting boundaries that keep our kids safe and help their brains develop the internalized co-regulation (self-regulation!) they need!

Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/WhatAboutAConsequence
The Club- you never wanted to join, but are SO glad when you do. We're welcoming new members and would LOVE to have you!
RobynGobbel.com/TheClub for all the details and to join!
:::
:::
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram
Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

If you’re parenting a child with a vulnerable nervous system when you have your own history of trauma, you know that sometimes your reaction isn’t really about what’s happening in front of you; it’s about what’s happened before. In this episode, we’re talking about how to gently uncover what might be going on when you have a huge stress response to a stressor that didn’t quite need an attack-level watchdog response.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
What a trigger actually is (and why it doesn’t feel like one in the moment)
How to tell if your nervous system is reacting to now… or something older
A simple step-by-step process to uncover and care for the belief driving your reaction

If you’re ready to go deeper into this work, the full Trigger Hunting masterclass is inside The Club.

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Trauma, Memory, & Behavior: Part 1 {EP 90}
What a Trigger REALLY Is {EP 223}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/parenttraumatriggers

The Club- you never wanted to join, but are SO glad when you do. We're welcoming new members and would LOVE to have you!
RobynGobbel.com/TheClub for all the details and to join!
:::
:::
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram
Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

This is a re-record of a foundation episode, episode 94
The Stress Response System plays a huge role in our children's behaviors and also how we perceive those behaviors.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
What stress is and how to differentiate good stress from bad stress
The impact of trauma and toxic stress to the Stress Response System
How to build resilience in a sensitized Stress Response System
A reframe to shift your own Stress Response System 
The Club- you never wanted to join, but are SO glad when you do. We're welcoming new members and would LOVE to have you!
RobynGobbel.com/TheClub for all the details and to join!
:::
:::
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram
Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Content note: This episode discusses trauma, nervous system activation, and protective responses such as shutdown, dissociation, anger, and urgency. There are no graphic details, but please take care while listening.
If you have a history of trauma, your watchdog and possum parts have likely been working hard for a long time. And when you’re parenting a child with big baffling behaviors, those protectors can get loud.
In this episode, we draw inspiration from Dan Siegel’s work to explore what it means to be with your watchdog and possum without becoming them. This isn’t about silencing your protectors. It’s about building a relationship with them.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
How state integration allows you to notice your watchdog and possum parts without fusing with them
Why curiosity and compassion widen your window of tolerance more effectively than control or self-criticism
How caring for your protective parts begins with awareness, gratitude, and understanding what they need

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Free Resources Hub!
Robyngobbel.com/webinar

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/caringforyourown
The Club- you never wanted to join, but are SO glad when you do. We're welcoming new members and would LOVE to have you!
RobynGobbel.com/TheClub for all the details and to join!
:::
:::
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram
Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

This is a re-record of a foundation episode, episode 7
The brain has two modes- connection or protection.

Protective behaviors include opposition, defiance, aggression- basically, any behavior that doesn't invite connection.

If we want to help shift our children's oppositional behaviors, we must first help their brain shift out of protection and into protection!

You can read more on my blog: robyngobbel.com/connectionorprotection/

Resources mentioned on the podcast:
Match the Energy Not the Dysregulation ep 155
Felt Safety Series- starts at ep 161
Boundaries Series starts at ep 111
Oppositional Behavior Series starts at 156
All Behavior Makes Sense ep 198
Focus on the Nervous System webinar
The Club- you never wanted to join, but are SO glad when you do. We're welcoming new members and would LOVE to have you!
RobynGobbel.com/TheClub for all the details and to join!
:::
:::
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram
Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)