The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

I know how intensely we want a checklist. Do this, this, and this, and the dysregulation will end, and your kid will be OK. This episode is the story of chasing exactly that list (Dr. Sears' Attachment Parenting checklist that I worked to check off one by one) and finding something else entirely in Dan Siegel's Parenting From the Inside Out. He didn’t give a checklist at all, just a way of being. 
So, I can’t give you a checklist, but this episode is the closest thing I can give you: a stance to hold as your foundation, and three relational moves that cycle on top of it, out of order, again and again.
In this episode you will learn:
Why attachment (and regulation, and connection) resist a tidy checklist, and what to reach for instead when the flowchart doesn't exist
The difference between the stance underneath everything (curiosity, compassion, non-judgment, staying with uncertainty) and the three moves that sit on top of it: noticing me, noticing you, noticing we
Why losing the stance in a hard moment doesn't mean anything failed; actually, noticing you've lost it is itself the stance
Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Parenting from the Inside Out → drdansiegel.com/book/parentingfromtheinsideout
The Attachment Parenting Book: A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Baby
Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/being
Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal
Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals! 
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about! 
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram
Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Sometimes it’s the little moments that overwhelm us more than the big, scary ones. The "whatever" muttered under their breath, the stash of snack wrappers under the bed, or they flatly deny something you're 99% sure they did. Sure, these things are frustrating, and it makes sense you’d have a reaction- but for some reason, you find yourself in zero to fury before you even had a chance to think. 
It can feel so perplexing. There was no meltdown, no real crisis- why is the reaction oh so big? This episode digs into why…and what those $5-reaction, 50-cent-problem moments are actually pointing to.
In this episode, you will learn:
Why implicit memory isn't just about never forgetting to ride a bike. It's also somatic, relational, and emotional, impacting the reactions we have to all the things that are happening
How old beliefs (mental models) don't just interpret what's happening; they actually predict it and sometimes even help create it
A closer look at the specific mental models - some from parenting, some from being parented - that might be connected to some of your biggest reactions
Curious which of these beliefs might be yours? Chapter 10 of the new Guided Journal walks through the Discovering Our Fears process, with a companion worksheet available as a free download. And if you’re a Club member, you don’t need to go searching for the free download- it’s stored in the Club resource library!
Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Why Sticky Behaviors Stay Stuck (Part 1 of 3) {EP 268} → RobynGobbel.com/stickybehaviors1

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/parentingtriggers
Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal
Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals! 
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about! 
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram
Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

I know you are working so, so, so hard to hold onto your owl brain.
Maybe you're at the stage where you don't even notice you've flipped your lid until hours later. 
Maybe you're at the stage where you can see it happening and still can't stop it. 
Either way, there's probably an old, familiar voice telling you that you should be further along than you are by now.
I was once exactly there, too. Hollering- literally - at my own therapist for the reality that I wasn’t changing faster. I was MAD. 
I finally finally, finally had to consider believing what she was offering me- that I was exactly where I needed to be in that moment, and I was shifting and changing as fast as I could.
I have had the experience on both sides of the couch- the person who was so angry I wasn’t changing faster AND the therapist who believed with my whole being that my client was exactly where they needed to be- even if that truth was extremely painful.
I wrote the Guided Journal from that space between.
In this episode you will learn:
Why hearing "you're exactly where you need to be" from my own therapist once felt more like a threat than comfort 
What made a therapist's steady presence more powerful than any of the tools she had, even all her training in about five bajillion techniques
Why the guided journal was crafted with no agenda, no required order, and nowhere you have to arrive by the last page
The Guided Journal is out today, September 21 — grab it wherever you love to buy books, or catch a signed copy through Schuler Books. Details on tonight's Grand Rapids signing, the Richmond events, and the October 1st online celebration are all at robyngobbel.com.

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/exactlyright
Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal
Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals! 
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about! 
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram
Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Almost always when I’m teaching or presenting, a parent is finally brave enough to ask: “What if I'm too burned out to do any of this?” 
And then at least half the other parents in the room look expectantly at me because they, too, are wondering how they could possibly conjure up enough energy to use playfulness. They aren’t even sure they like their kid enough to offer enough cues of safety.
This episode looks at the physiology of burn out, why the strategies you already know feel completely out of reach when you're this depleted, and what's actually possible from here.
In this episode, you will learn:
Why it takes a lot more than pushing through burnout to shift out of it
Why rest (not more effort) is the first real step toward healing
How teeny tiny drops of safety, not big sweeping changes, are what actually start tipping the scale back toward connection
If you’re looking for a place to start accumulating cues of safety for yourself, come join us in The Club the next time we are welcoming new members!
Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Felt Safety (Inside) - Part 1 {EP 161} → RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetyinside
Felt Safety (Outside) - Part 2 {EP 162} → RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetyoutside
Felt Safety (Between) - Part 3 {EP 163} → RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetybetween
Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/tooburnedout
Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal
Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals! 
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about! 
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram
Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

You've called every therapist in town and heard the same thing back: not taking new clients. Or you're the one on the other end of that call, staring at a kid whose behavior you can't make sense of, wondering if you're just not cut out for this. 
I get it. I intimately understand both sides of this struggle. 
In this episode, you'll learn:
Why a dysregulated parent needs the same thing from their practitioner that a child needs from their parent
What actually changes behavior long-term (hint: unfortunately, it’s not a tool. That would be this easy!)
Why this nested process — professional, parent, child — is the core framework that makes the Immersion Program unique. And, what makes it work. 
Apply for the Immersion Program at RobynGobbel.com/immersion
Find a practitioner who is an Immersion Program Graduate at RobynGobbel.com/Directory

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Apply for the Immersion Program → RobynGobbel.com/immersion
Find a practitioner who is an Immersion Program Graduate → RobynGobbel.com/Directory

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/samething
Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal
Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals! 
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about! 
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram
Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)