The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

You've probably heard "a dysregulated adult can't co-regulate a child" a hundred times. But if you've ever been stuck in a store with a screaming kid — or a classroom with 17 screaming kids — and zero bandwidth left, you know how useless that advice can feel in the moment. This episode is a conversation with Chrissy D'Agostino, co-author of the new Early Years Guidebook from the Regulated Classroom, about what to do when you're with a dysregulated child, and you're dysregulated too. You’ll hear practical ideas that are actually helpful for a stressed and tapped-out grown-up. 
In this episode, you will learn:
Why relying so heavily on your voice and your words all day is quietly wearing down your nervous system 
The four practices (connectors, activators, settlers, affirmations) that help widen everyone's window of tolerance, at home or in the classroom
Why "meet the moment" is a more useful goal than "manage the outcome" 
Resources mentioned in this podcast:
The Regulated Classroom → Regulated Classroom
Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/earlyyears
Teaching Kids about their Owl, Watchdog, and Possum brain is one great way to help GROW their owl brain!
And I can teach you exactly how!
Head to RobynGobbel.com/TeachKidsTheBrain for information and registration.https://robyngobbel.com/training/teachkidsthebrain/
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals! 
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about! 
The new Guided Journal for Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors hits the shelves on September 21!
AND! If you pre-order TWO or more copies, you can come to Baffling Behaviors LIVE! - a day-long live event for parents and caregivers in Richmond, VA on September 21. 
RobynGobbel.com/LIVE
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram
Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

You want the flowchart. Of course you do! If X, then Y would be something to follow when there's no bandwidth left to think it through in the moment. But there isn't a flowchart, and this episode gets into why: stress capacity shifts by the hour, different nervous system states pull different memory networks online, and two nervous systems are shaping each other in real time, not just one. What there is instead is a map. Knowing both how to read it and how to adjust when something unexpected happens is crucial. 
In this episode you'll learn:
Why a flowchart for dysregulated behavior is neurobiologically impossible
Why the strategy that worked yesterday isn't working today
Why the goal isn't figuring out the exact reason behind a behavior; it's staying curious instead of certain
Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Stealing {EP 138} → RobynGobbel.com/stealing
Lying, Stealing, Regression & Baby Talk {EP 222} → RobynGobbel.com/babytalk
Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/flowchart
Teaching Kids about their Owl, Watchdog, and Possum brain is one great way to help GROW their owl brain!
And I can teach you exactly how!
Head to RobynGobbel.com/TeachKidsTheBrain for information and registration.https://robyngobbel.com/training/teachkidsthebrain/
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals! 
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about! 
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram
Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

OT on Tuesday, a speech eval callback on Wednesday, play therapy on Thursday, a school meeting on Friday that's really just another appointment in disguise. When the calendar starts looking like a second job, the question that actually matters isn't a number — it's whether all of it is moving your family toward regulation, connection, and felt safety, or quietly draining it. This episode walks through how to prioritize when everything's been recommended, and nothing fits, when it's genuinely okay to pause the therapy someone called non-negotiable, and why supporting your own nervous system might be the highest-leverage intervention in the whole house.
In this episode you'll learn:
How to tell whether your family's current appointment load is building felt safety or quietly working against it 
A framework for prioritizing between recommended therapies when you can't do all of them, including what to weigh beyond which one "sounds" most important
Why pausing or delaying a therapy you've been told is essential isn't neglect
Why your own support sometimes needs to move to the top of the list

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
The Brain Science Behind Your Child's Biggest Behaviors→ RobynGobbel.com/brainseries
A NeuroDevelopmental Approach {EP 47} → RobynGobbel.com/neurodevelopmentalapproach
20 Non-Therapy Therapeutic Interventions → RobynGobbel.com/therapeuticinterventions

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/somanyservices
Teaching Kids about their Owl, Watchdog, and Possum brain is one great way to help GROW their owl brain!
And I can teach you exactly how!
Head to RobynGobbel.com/TeachKidsTheBrain for information and registration.https://robyngobbel.com/training/teachkidsthebrain/
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals! 
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about! 
The new Guided Journal for Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors hits the shelves on September 21!
AND! If you pre-order TWO or more copies, you can come to Baffling Behaviors LIVE! - a day-long live event for parents and caregivers in Richmond, VA on September 21. 
RobynGobbel.com/LIVE
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram
Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

So many struggling and overwhelmed parents feel like their biggest problems are their kids' behaviors and the chaos that's taking over their family. This week's guest, a longtime Club member, talks about how she slowly came to realize that what she really needed to focus on wasn't strategies to change her kids' behavior, but experiences that would soften the shame she was carrying.
This guest bravely shares that her shame didn't soften on her own. It took showing up in community with other parents who were honest about their own mess and who received her without judgment, over and over, before she could start offering herself that same compassion.

In this episode you'll learn:
Why self-compassion is almost impossible to build alone
How this mom's own regulation changed before her kids' behavior did
What it sounds like when your kids start offering that same compassion back to you — and to themselves

Read the full transcript at: URL goes here
Teaching Kids about their Owl, Watchdog, and Possum brain is one great way to help GROW their owl brain!
And I can teach you exactly how!
Head to RobynGobbel.com/TeachKidsTheBrain for information and registration.https://robyngobbel.com/training/teachkidsthebrain/
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals! 
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about! 
The new Guided Journal for Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors hits the shelves on September 21!
AND! If you pre-order TWO or more copies, you can come to Baffling Behaviors LIVE! - a day-long live event for parents and caregivers in Richmond, VA on September 21. 
RobynGobbel.com/LIVE
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram
Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Every morning (or afternoon or evening) feels like just one long stream of complaints. Breakfast isn’t right, the bowl isn’t right, SOMETHING is always not right, and no matter what gets fixed, it’s never right enough.
^That perfectly describes a nervous system stuck in protection mode. 
This week’s episode explores how and why nervous systems get stuck and practical ways you can help- even when NOTHING you do seems to help. 
In this episode you will learn:
Why your child's reaction is almost never about the thing they're reacting to
What it means for the past to show up as a "tsunami" in the present moment
Three simple places to start dropping in more felt safety today, even before anything else changes
Next month in The Club we’re hosting a workshop so we can all get together, pull out the Grow Your Child’s Owl Brain with Cues of Safety workbook, and make a real plan for how to increase safety in your child’s stream of the NOW - which eventually does calm the tsunami in the stream of the past

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Why Sticky Behaviors Stay Stuck (Part 1 of 3)→ RobynGobbel.com/stickybehaviors1
All Behavior Makes Sense → RobynGobbel.com/allbehaviormakessense

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/cuesofsafety
Teaching Kids about their Owl, Watchdog, and Possum brain is one great way to help GROW their owl brain!
And I can teach you exactly how!
Head to RobynGobbel.com/TeachKidsTheBrain for information and registration.https://robyngobbel.com/training/teachkidsthebrain/
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals! 
RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about! 
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram
Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)