The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

• [Encore Episode] Your Divorce Roadmap: The Stages and Phases of Divorce

  This week’s encore episode is a solo one, focused on The Divorce Roadmap—a framework I created after more than a decade of working with thousands of women and mapping out every stage of the divorce process. Over the years, I’ve gotten really good at helping people identify exactly where they are on that path, which makes it much easier to know what comes next. Throughout this episode, I walk you through the three stages of the Roadmap: Awareness, Action, and Moving On, and break down the different phases within each stage.  Divorce is almost never a straight line. It’s messy, it loops, it pauses, and sometimes things fall into place when you least expect it. Knowing where you are on the journey can help you feel more grounded and prepared for what’s ahead. Resources & Links: Divorce RoadmapFocused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on Instagram @kateanthony_divorcecoachKate on FacebookThe D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/encore-episode-your-divorce-roadmap-the-stages-and-phases-of-divorce/  

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• [Encore Episode] Covert Emotional Abuse with Annette Oltmans

  This encore episode features passionate human rights advocate Annette Oltmans, and we’re talking about covert emotional abuse, one of the most insidious and overlooked forms of domestic violence. If you’re in it, have been through it, or suspect something’s not right in your relationship, this is one you don’t want to miss (or re-listen to). Annette shares her personal experience of prolonged emotional abuse in marriage, along with what she’s learned through years of recovery and deep field research. Her work around Original Abuse and Double Abuse® led her to found The M3ND Project in 2016, an organization dedicated to helping survivors name what’s happening and start to heal. What you’ll hear about in this episode: What motivated Annette to found the M3ND Project  Some of the definitions of covert emotional abuse like blame-shifting or minimization of the victim’s perspective Annette shares the four pillars of abuse and what drives abusive thinking Realizing you are a victim and changing the worldview of your relationship with your abuser brings on a new layer of stress  Abuse recovery and insights and advice for those thinking about repairing their relationship after their partner has begun therapy  Learn more about Annette Oltmans: Annette Oltmans is a philanthropist and passionate human rights advocate. Annette’s personal experiences of prolonged emotional abuse in marriage and her extensive journey of recovery including comprehensive field research into the topics of Original Abuse and Double Abuse® ignited her passion to founding The M3ND Project in 2016. While seeking the help of professionals and responders, she experienced Double Abuse® in the form of spiritual and institutional abuse. These harmful encounters compelled Annette in her relentless pursuit for solutions that involved interviews with hundreds of victims and survivors. She uncovered common threads that cause victims prolonged states of confusion as well as what ultimately led them towards healing. Her journey also involved interviews with hundreds of faith-based leaders and therapists which led her to discover that most are untrained and ill-equipped to identify and help victims of emotional, verbal, and psychological abuse. In working to prevent and remediate such harm, Annette developed protocoled models that are now being taught and implemented with therapists, churches and professional organizations across the United States. She consulted with esteemed experts in abuse, trauma, and healing to ensure the materials align with the highest professional standards. Annette also serves on the Board of Pepperdine University’s Boone Center for the Family and is a Board of Trustee member of Northrise University in Zambia. Her writing on these topics of abuse, domestic violence, and bullying has been published in the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC), Teen Vogue, and numerous other publications. Annette is also a contributing author in the newly released book, “Created to Thrive: Cultivating Abuse-Free Safe Communities”. Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on Instagram @kateanthony_divorcecoachKate on FacebookThe D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage The M3nd Project Website Tools and Resources from The M3ND Project The M3ND Project on Facebook The M3ND Project on Instagram The M3nd Project on YouTube The M3nd Project on Twitter =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/encore-episode-covert-emotional-abuse-with-annette-oltmans/

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• [Encore Episode] The Science of Stuck with Britt Frank

  This encore episode features Britt Frank, therapist and author of The Science of Stuck, and we’re unpacking what it actually means to feel stuck and how to finally move through it. Britt has a gift for cutting through the shame we carry about our behaviors.  Whether it’s procrastination, burnout, people-pleasing, or codependency, she breaks down the brain-body connection behind it all and reminds us that you can’t logic your way out of an emotional process. If you’ve ever felt frozen, overwhelmed, or trapped in your own patterns, this conversation is a lifeline. What you’ll hear about in this episode: How to define the ‘first step’ to help you figure out your plan for getting unstuck Britt explains why we can’t think ourselves forward  We explore the steps to help you get unstuck including: Validating what’s happening and determining the resources available to help right now  Why Britt says to stay away from positive and negative thinking and instead focus on accurate thinking  Self-mothering is one the most powerful ways of breaking trauma bonds Learn more about Britt Frank: Britt Frank, MSW, LSCSW, SEP is a clinician, educator, and trauma specialist. She speaks and writes widely about the mental health myths that keep us stuck and stressed. Britt received her BA from Duke University and her MSW from the University of Kansas, where she later became an award-winning adjunct professor. She is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and Level 3 trained in the Internal Family Systems therapeutic model. Britt was a primary therapist at a drug and alcohol treatment center, an inpatient therapist at a children’s psychiatric hospital, and now owns a private practice. You can find Britt on Instagram @brittfrank or on her website www.scienceofstuck.com. Her debut book The Science of Stuck was released 3-22-22 by Penguin Random House. Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on Instagram @kateanthony_divorcecoachKate on FacebookThe D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage Britt’s website Britt on Instagram Britt’s book Mother Hunger, Kelly McDaniel =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/encore-episode-the-science-of-stuck-with-britt-frank/    

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• [Encore Episode] Healing from Gaslighting with Dr. Amelia Kelley

  Over the next month, I’ll be sharing encore episodes of the podcast - conversations that remain just as relevant and impactful today. New episodes will be back in September!  This week’s encore episode features fan-favorite Dr. Amelia Kelley, and we’re digging into what gaslighting really is, how it shows up in our lives, and how we start to heal from it. This conversation originally aired in 2023, but it’s just as relevant today — especially if you’re navigating the aftermath of emotional abuse or trying to reclaim your sense of self. Dr. Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist, researcher, and author whose work centers on women’s issues, relationship trauma, adult ADHD, and empowering survivors of abuse. Together, we unpack how gaslighting is used as a tool for power and control, how it erodes confidence and self-trust, and why self-care isn’t optional when you’re healing, it’s essential. What you’ll hear about in this episode: The misconception of gaslighting: what it is and what it isn’t  The effects of gaslighting on a victim’s mental health  Dr. Kelley addresses the question, “Is lying gaslighting?”  You cannot heal from trauma that you are still experiencing  The steps to overcome and heal from gaslighting include becoming aware, getting outside feedback, and boundary setting  What self-care looks like during the healing process  Self-regulation for chronic stress when being emotionally abused  Learn more about Dr. Amelia Kelley: Dr. Amelia Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist who has conducted research on the effects of exercise on adult ADHD symptoms as well as the effects of resiliency on PTSD. She is a trained Hypno-therapist, Art therapist, HSP Therapist, EMDR-informed therapist, meditation teacher, as well as a Certified Yoga instructor integrating therapeutic yoga and psychotherapy. She is a trainer, podcaster and writer in the “science-help” field focusing on; women's issues, empowering survivors of abuse and relationship trauma, Highly Sensitive Persons, motivation, healthy living, and adult ADHD.  Dr. Kelley is an adjunct counseling professor at Yorkville University as well as a nationally recognized relationship expert featured on XM Radio’s Doctor Channel on The Psychiatry Show. She is a coach and trainer for SAS’s Work/Life Program in Cary, NC and a resident trainer for the NC Art Therapy Institute. Her private practice is currently part of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium at the Kinsey Institute. She is a co-author of What I Wish I Knew: Surviving and Thriving After an Abusive Relationship and a contributing author for the Highly Sensitive Refuge. You can find out more about her work at her website www.ameliakelley.com or by following her on Instagram @drameliakelley. Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on Instagram @kateanthony_divorcecoachKate on FacebookThe D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage Dr. Kelley’s websiteDr. Kelley on InstagramNYTimes Article about Women and Menopause Heart Disease in Women =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/encore-episode-healing-from-gaslighting-with-dr-amelia-kelley/  

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• Episode 333: If there's a playbook for them, there's a playbook for YOU

  If you’ve been in a narcissistic, emotionally abusive, or coercively controlling relationship, you may think you’re alone in your confusion and trauma. After working with thousands of women, however, I can assure you that abusers are all operating out of the same playbook. The gaslighting, the love bombing, the silent treatment? The patterns are actually completely predictable. It’s called the Abuser’s Playbook. And if there’s a playbook for them, there’s a playbook for you, too. In this solo episode, I walk you through ten of the most common tactics abusers use and more importantly, how to counter each one. This isn’t about changing them. This is about keeping yourself safe, reclaiming your sanity, and taking your power back. The 10 common tactics narcissistic abusers use (and what you’ll hear about in this episode): Love bombing and future faking that keeps you hooked and how to track the cycle Gaslighting that erodes your sense of reality and how to ground yourself in the truth Projection that flips the blame onto you and how to recognize what’s actually theirs Triangulation that isolates you and how to stay rooted in your own perspective Hoovering that pulls you back in and how to hold your boundary when it feels impossible Smear campaigns that twist your story and how to stay steady when your reputation is under attack Threats and intimidation that instill fear and how to protect yourself and plan ahead Stonewalling and silent treatment that punish you and how to stop chasing their approval Baiting and rage that push you to the edge and how to respond without losing yourself Financial abuse that traps you and how to begin reclaiming control ➡ Download The Survivor’s Playbook at KateAnthony.com/playbook Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveHow He’ll Likely React Bingo card Kate on Instagram @kateanthony_divorcecoachKate on FacebookThe D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-333-if-theres-a-playbook-for-them-theres-a-playbook-for-you/  

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