The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

• Episode 335: Making Your Trauma Responses Work For You with Dr. Amelia Kelley

  Podcast favorite Dr. Amelia Kelley is back on the show! Today we’re unpacking something I know will resonate with so many of you: our trauma responses. Fight, flight, freeze, or fawn… we all have them. But what if instead of shaming ourselves for these responses, we learned to use them for our benefit? Amelia and I get into what each response actually looks like day-to-day, why they happen so quickly in the body, and how to bring more consciousness when they show up. We also explore ways to reframe them so they can become tools that work in your favor: turning fight into advocacy, flight into creativity, freeze into stillness, and fawn into compassion and service. ✨ Podcast episodes are available in two formats - audio and video! If you’d like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here. What you’ll hear about in this episode: The four trauma responses: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn (2:36) Why these responses happen so fast in the brain and nervous system (5:41) The role of naming and grounding in shifting your experience (17:47) How to recognize your default response and bring more choice into it (19:55) Using trauma responses in intentional ways, like boxing, cycling, meditation, or setting boundaries (38:20) Learn more about Dr. Amelia Kelley:  Dr. Amelia Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist, author, co-host of The Sensitivity Doctor Podcast, researcher, and certified meditation and yoga instructor. Her specialties include art therapy, internal family systems (IFS), EMDR, and brainspotting. Her work focuses on women’s issues, empowering survivors of abuse and relationship trauma, highly sensitive persons, motivation, healthy living, and adult ADHD. She is an adjunct professor in Psychology at Yorkville University and a nationally recognized relationship expert featured on SiriusXM Doctor Radio’s The Psychiatry Show as well as NPR’s The Measure of Everyday Life and 411 Teen. Her private practice is part of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium at the Kinsey Institute. She is also a resident trainer at PESI offering continuing trauma-focused education to professionals. She is the author of Powered by ADHD: Strategies and Exercises for Women to Harness their Untapped Gifts, Gaslighting Recovery for Women: The Complete Guide to Recognizing Manipulation and Achieving Freedom from Emotional Abuse, coauthor of What I Wish I Knew: Surviving and Thriving After an Abusive Relationship, as well as Surviving Suicidal Ideation: From Therapy to Spirituality and the Lived Experience, and a contributing author for Psychology Today, ADDitude Magazine, as well as Highly Sensitive Refuge. Her work has been featured in Teen Vogue, Yahoo News, Lifehacker, Well + Good and Insider.  Resources & Links: ALL NEW: The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are Now Available on YouTube! Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate’s Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch Dr. Amelia Kelley’s websiteDr. Amelia Kelley on Instagram =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. =================== Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-335-making-your-trauma-responses-work-for-you-with-dr-amelia-kelley/  

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• Episode 334: Leadership in Intimate Relationships with Blair Glaser

  New episodes are back! Blair Glaser joins me to talk about how leadership roles, yes, the ones from the boardroom, can help you become a better partner, communicator, and even co-parent during and after divorce. What it comes down to, quite simply, is using leadership for love. Blair shares how her four-part leadership model applies directly to relationships in transition, including divorce and co-parenting. You’ll hear how clarifying roles reduces tension, why creating a shared vision anchors you during conflict, and how to shift dynamics when relationships change. Whether you’re navigating the emotional upheaval of divorce, stepping into a new co-parenting landscape, or preparing for healthier love in the future, this conversation offers practical tools you can start using right now. Podcast episodes are now available in two formats - audio and video! If you’d like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here. What you’ll hear about in this episode: How leadership principles can change the way you date, partner, and co-parent (2:38) Why traditional models of relationships no longer work (13:46) How to use roles intentionally to reduce conflict and anxiety in relationships (15:34) What it means to fight well, and how to turn conflict into constructive negotiation (19:36) The four-part model Blair designed for co-leadership in intimate relationships (21:02) Why creating a shared vision matters most when co-parenting after divorce (23:36) Learn more about Blair Glaser: Blair Glaser is a (recovering) psychotherapist, executive leadership coach, and organizational development consultant. In an increasingly technological world, she is committed to promoting HI (Human Intelligence), offering people tips and tools to master effective communication, relationships, and making an impact. Over the course of 30 years, she has guided women, couples, veterans, urban youth, and executives and teams (in nonprofits and Fortune 500 companies alike) to lives of greater freedom and enjoyment. She’s been quoted in the New York Times, LA Times, Spirituality and Health, and other publications, and ran workshops nationwide at institutions like NYU and Omega retreat centers. She is also a writer with a memoir about living in an ashram coming out in February 2026. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband and dog-ter, Vanna White. Resources & Links: ALL NEW: The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are Now Available on YouTube! Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate’s Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch Learn to Lead in Love: Introductory call with Blair, Just for The Divorce Survival Guide Listeners Blair on Facebook Blair on LinkedIn Blair on InstagramBlair’s Substack Newsletter Episode 317: Burned Haystack Dating Method with Jennie Young =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

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• [Encore Episode] After The Talk: How to Prepare for Your Divorce with Susan Guthrie, Esq.

  New episodes return in September! In this final encore episode for the month of August, you’ll hear part two of a special crossover series with The Divorce and Beyond Podcast. This episode picks up where my conversation with Susan Guthrie left off: how to have the most difficult conversation of your life: “I want a divorce.”  To hear the first part of our conversation, be sure to visit Susan’s website to listen. Throughout this episode, we talk about what happens after “the talk,”- everything from building your divorce team to understanding your options for mediation or litigation. Susan brings decades of experience and grounded wisdom to this conversation, making it a must-listen if you're preparing for what comes next. What you’ll hear about in this episode: Why January is notoriously dubbed “divorce month”  The first thing you should do after you share with your spouse that you want a divorce The biggest fallacy in the divorce process  How to find the best path forward towards mediation Some approaches to divorce mediation and how to build a mediation team. A reasonable expectation of a timeline for your divorce.  Learn more about Susan Guthrie:  Susan Guthrie, nationally recognized as one of the Top Family Law and Mediation Attorneys in the country, has been helping individuals and families navigate separation and divorce for 30 years. Susan provides online divorce mediation and legal coaching services to select clients around the world. As a leading dispute resolution professional, Susan is honored to serve on the Executive Council of the American Bar Association’s (ABA) Section of Dispute Resolution as the Membership Officer and to be a Co-Chair of the Mediation Committee. After a year and half of co-hosting the award-winning podcast, Breaking Free: A Modern Divorce Podcast, which reached over 3 million listeners, Susan recently launched her fresh and inspiring new podcast, The Divorce and Beyond Podcast with Susan Guthrie, Esq. which debuted on iTunes “Top Podcasts” List for self-help podcasts. Divorce & Beyond is focused on pulling back the curtain on the mysteries of the divorce process and bringing tips and resources to help people to thrive and shine in their new future beyond divorce. Susan has been featured in and on media outlets such as CNBC, Market Watch, News Nation,  Forbes, the ABA’s Just Resolutions Magazine, Thrive Global, Medium, and many more. She is licensed to practice law in the States of California and Connecticut as well as before the Supreme Court of the United States. Resources & Links: Divorce RoadmapFocused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on Instagram @kateanthony_divorcecoachKate on FacebookThe D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage Susan’s website Susan on Instagram The Divorce and Beyond Podcast: WE NEED TO TALK: How to Have the Most Difficult Conversation of Your Life with Kate Anthony =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/encore-episode-after-the-talk-how-to-prepare-for-your-divorce-with-susan-guthrie-esq/  

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• [Encore Episode] Your Divorce Roadmap: The Stages and Phases of Divorce

  This week’s encore episode is a solo one, focused on The Divorce Roadmap—a framework I created after more than a decade of working with thousands of women and mapping out every stage of the divorce process. Over the years, I’ve gotten really good at helping people identify exactly where they are on that path, which makes it much easier to know what comes next. Throughout this episode, I walk you through the three stages of the Roadmap: Awareness, Action, and Moving On, and break down the different phases within each stage.  Divorce is almost never a straight line. It’s messy, it loops, it pauses, and sometimes things fall into place when you least expect it. Knowing where you are on the journey can help you feel more grounded and prepared for what’s ahead. Resources & Links: Divorce RoadmapFocused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on Instagram @kateanthony_divorcecoachKate on FacebookThe D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/encore-episode-your-divorce-roadmap-the-stages-and-phases-of-divorce/  

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• [Encore Episode] Covert Emotional Abuse with Annette Oltmans

  This encore episode features passionate human rights advocate Annette Oltmans, and we’re talking about covert emotional abuse, one of the most insidious and overlooked forms of domestic violence. If you’re in it, have been through it, or suspect something’s not right in your relationship, this is one you don’t want to miss (or re-listen to). Annette shares her personal experience of prolonged emotional abuse in marriage, along with what she’s learned through years of recovery and deep field research. Her work around Original Abuse and Double Abuse® led her to found The M3ND Project in 2016, an organization dedicated to helping survivors name what’s happening and start to heal. What you’ll hear about in this episode: What motivated Annette to found the M3ND Project  Some of the definitions of covert emotional abuse like blame-shifting or minimization of the victim’s perspective Annette shares the four pillars of abuse and what drives abusive thinking Realizing you are a victim and changing the worldview of your relationship with your abuser brings on a new layer of stress  Abuse recovery and insights and advice for those thinking about repairing their relationship after their partner has begun therapy  Learn more about Annette Oltmans: Annette Oltmans is a philanthropist and passionate human rights advocate. Annette’s personal experiences of prolonged emotional abuse in marriage and her extensive journey of recovery including comprehensive field research into the topics of Original Abuse and Double Abuse® ignited her passion to founding The M3ND Project in 2016. While seeking the help of professionals and responders, she experienced Double Abuse® in the form of spiritual and institutional abuse. These harmful encounters compelled Annette in her relentless pursuit for solutions that involved interviews with hundreds of victims and survivors. She uncovered common threads that cause victims prolonged states of confusion as well as what ultimately led them towards healing. Her journey also involved interviews with hundreds of faith-based leaders and therapists which led her to discover that most are untrained and ill-equipped to identify and help victims of emotional, verbal, and psychological abuse. In working to prevent and remediate such harm, Annette developed protocoled models that are now being taught and implemented with therapists, churches and professional organizations across the United States. She consulted with esteemed experts in abuse, trauma, and healing to ensure the materials align with the highest professional standards. Annette also serves on the Board of Pepperdine University’s Boone Center for the Family and is a Board of Trustee member of Northrise University in Zambia. Her writing on these topics of abuse, domestic violence, and bullying has been published in the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC), Teen Vogue, and numerous other publications. Annette is also a contributing author in the newly released book, “Created to Thrive: Cultivating Abuse-Free Safe Communities”. Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on Instagram @kateanthony_divorcecoachKate on FacebookThe D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage The M3nd Project Website Tools and Resources from The M3ND Project The M3ND Project on Facebook The M3ND Project on Instagram The M3nd Project on YouTube The M3nd Project on Twitter =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/encore-episode-covert-emotional-abuse-with-annette-oltmans/

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