The alt name for this episode was “Ask More of Yourself” but that felt kind of agro. A lot of success in life happens in tiny micro changes. This episode is to help you curate the mindset of “I got this” as you move through your day. This is about building agency and momentum via seeing success as something small. Keeping a perspective of our own ability, sense of agency, and curating a feeling of “I got this” as we move through challenging times or new, fear-inducing territory.
Stick around for the tools in this one! This has tips for staying in the channel of focus on what you’re doing right. Appreciating life in the exertion periods and giving yourself an awareness snap of, “Oh, wow, it’s actually not so hard, and I can do this” We can get that snap of clarity when we can look at a loved one from a generation past or the long hours demanded of an Olympic athlete. That concept of empowered endurance and self-motivation is a reset for our day to day toils. Sending love… you are so much stronger than you think, right now.
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Ep 254: Being Seated in Self: Setting Boundaries Confidently
If you’re struggling with trying to keep a handle on your
own beliefs in the face of a person with a strong ego, as in a romantic
relationship or parental relationship where they talk you out of your feelings
or tell you that you’re wrong, this is for you! A lot of people struggle
to self-validate. You might defer to another person’s opinion or have a person in your life who talks you out of your beliefs, even if you feel strongly about them the moment you have them. When we are feeling insecure and second guessing ourselves, we are looking for grounding. In the spin – as I call it. We cannot discern the truth – it is illusive to us. We keep thinking “I feel this way! Am I wrong?” What we need to recognize in that moment of that feeling is that we need to back up from the issue and get a wider perspective. The issue is co-created by us and another person and the solution is a longer but accessible one. This episode is about creating a dose of perspective with context and tools. Often what this comes down to is we are struggling to believe our feelings and trust ourselves and often the other person is controlling us. That might be sinister or it might be totally innocent and invisible to that person. For example, it could be a person who doesn’t want you to leave them. Or it could be a parent who can’t see you any other way than a child. The reason this becomes toxic and unhealthy is when it prevents you from growth. If you have a light inside you that wants to grow, to stand on your own two feet and be the boss of yourself – then this is for you.
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BOOK
recos for this episode:
Intimate
Partners
https://amzn.to/4kCyBQU
Dance
of Anger
https://amzn.to/3Iqob9T
Courage
to Change
https://amzn.to/44La6en
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1:02:31
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1:02:31
Ep 253: Happiness Growth: Stopping the Loop of Dissatisfaction
This is about expanding your consciousness using moments of emptiness and dissatisfaction as a starting point. I will invite you to widen your capacity and open your energy to a higher level by “using the material” that is the dissatisfaction. Lots of tools in this one. If you feel like you’ve been living loops of stagnation and have been unable to see what is blocking your happiness – like “I am doing all the right things, why do I feel empty?” Feeling that something is missing, that we need something to fix us or
fill the void…Or being spiritually starved by your environment…Or the intimate relationships never pan out or become what we had hoped. A lot of this comes into play when we are following a bunk map – we set a goal that is a 2D snapshot and think “I just need this and then I am done!” But happiness is about growing in three dimensions, inwardly. So where to go from here? Lean into your humanity and set the goal to go deeper. We need our humanity and connection to others on an authentic level. We need to utilize our truth and creativity and feel a worthiness in our experiences. It comes from our sense of spirituality: a sense of trust and faith in the universe. We need our own version of “God” whatever that might be, and if you don’t have that, you can grow it by taking small steps.
The books I mentioned (True and False Magic) https://amzn.to/4luF8Ot
And Notes to George: https://amzn.to/4kgc3Fo
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57:50
Ep 252: Breakup Loss: The Mirror of Completeness
If you’ve been unable to let go of a relationship or a part of you feels tethered to it, it could be in part the longing for the feeling of completeness. Breakups are also losses of routine and a feeling that we are not alone in the world. A lot of the loss is that concept of our life, not the person we are partnered with and who they are in reality. One thing we can move through as we process a breakup is the loss of that ideal: what we wanted the relationship to be, wished it would become, visualized it would
be in the future. Separate from that we can respect the real reasons the
relationship ended: who the other person was and why it was not sustainable. That’s what this episode is about: negotiating the two sides to a loss of a partner: the loss of the idea – the mirror we saw of ourselves. And then the loss of the other person. I think in the mourning/healing process we get confused about which feelings are coming from where, which can make closure difficult. You might have had a really bad relationship but some part of you felt reliant on it – this can be confusing in the wake of moving on. Regardless if you’re suffering I recommend therapy for this stage of healing. Sending love!!
Here is the book I mentioned that I am reading:
https://amzn.to/4kNQj4P
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of Headspace FREE for 60 days.
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a $75 sponsored job credit
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47:29
Ep 251: A Midlife Reckoning - Reassessing Happiness
There comes a time when we take stock of our lives and ask whether or not it’s still working for us. That might be our self-definition, our career, our relationship, or all of the above. You might arrive at this by accident, as in a health issue that forces the wake up, or you might simply recognize the feeling and ask, “Why am I so numb and unfulfilled?” This is an episode to help you look at whatever value system you have gotten lost within so you can set better boundaries around it. Often times we get seduced by external definitions of a path and we pour ourselves into it, never stopping to question whether or not it’s really rewarding for us. Other times we just grow out of it and we need to stop and reassess if a change is needed. Sending love!
Sponsors:
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sponsored job credit
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Help Me Be Me is an emotional toolkit for creating positive change in yourself. I like to think of it as self-help for people who hate self-help. I'm Sarah May, coach/author/all-around happy person, and these are the tools that work for me in my life. For all of my offerings you can check out YayWithMe.com What I share on this show is my personal opinion. It's not a diagnosis for treatment or a substitute for professional help. If you're suffering, please reach out to your local emergency services or call 9-1-1. Find this podcast on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/sarahmayb
Ireland