Help Me Be Me

This episode will hopefully give you an epiphany! Negative feedback loops have a huge impact on intimate relationships. They are also a major factor in self-perception: perception of your life and what others mean to you. We base our opinions of our relationships on the signals we receive from them, which, in turn, create return signals.

There are two selves we inhabit: the “whole self” and the “fear self”. These two selves make very different decisions and they act from very different places. The fear self will come from childhood powerlessness where the motive is always to grasp for control and “fix it.” This self operates from a fictional and dysfunctional belief that it is possible and also our job to fix things. The whole self comes from truth. That self knows where the boundary between self and other stands. The whole self can detach with love when necessary and also see when they need to be accountable and give more. The goal is to always act from the whole self and also give love unconditionally.

This episode has tools to get to that wholeness and also restore the love that gets eroded by negative feedback loops – the ones that occur when both parties are reacting from fear and a misinterpretation of the other person’s cues. SENDING LOVE!!!

Sponsors:Betterhelp.com/helpmebeme - sign up and get 10% off your first month of therapyMonarch.com code HELPME for 50% off your first yearQuince.com/helpme for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair.com to shop all things homeMarleyspoon.com/offer/helpmebeme up to 25 FREE mealsHungryroot.com/HELPMEBEME and use code HELPMEBEME to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life
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At the end of the year, the beginning of the new year one can feel depleted or stuck. This is an episode with a lot of light, perspective-gaining tools to practice ease and spaciousness. It's for recognizing where you’re depleted, where you’re defensive or clingy, and also coming back home to a solid, positive mindset. This is for post-holiday crashing – something that happens to a lot of caregivers as well as sensitive and creative people. This is a reminder sort of episode: to ride that wave and float atop it as it passes, thinking of it more as a stage of rebirth. That feeling of depletion or even depression is a part of a transition. Often it’s a dip of energy needed to alert you to the need for rest and restoration. Enjoy this and sip some tea with a journal!

Support this week’s sponsors:
Chewy: Send your pet’s wish to Chewy.com/ChewyClaus and
it might become a reality. Plus, your wish means Chewy will donate 5 meals to pets in need.

Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job credit

Ritual: ritual.com/helpmebeme for 25% your first month 

TruDiagnostic: TruDiagnostic.com and  use code HELPMEBEME for 20% off your entire order or subscription

Marley Spoon: Marleyspoon.com/offer/helpmebeme for up to 25 free meals
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This is a super woo episode! It’s for all my creative friends and anyone who is feeling fearful and reactive in the state of uncertainty. If you’re a creative person and you feel stuck or stunted by fear, this is a grounding episode for clarity and building momentum. It’s a reflection episode in that I invite you to be more present and focus on where you can channel energy. In a nutshell, I am talking about what many refer to “divine feminine energy” – this is not about gender, but more an opposite energy that is essential to creativity: that state of “allowing” versus “muscling” and goal-setting. I personally have been out of balance lately in that I have been in the muscling, goal-setting “masculine” energy. I am inviting more balance into my life where I can be more in the welcoming and inspired – especially during this winter stage of life. If this sounds like something you need, this episode will hopefully bring you more calm and serenity. This is for creating balance in your life in your energy and in your future year.

When I talk about masculine and feminine - I am talking about poles, like a yin-yang, not genders – so when you hear those terms you can refer to them as opposites that don’t really relate to cultural gender definitions.

Regardless I send you love and wish you a happy holiday season! Xox

The book I mentioned:

https://amzn.to/3L4ntk5

Sponsors:Chewy: Send your pet’s wish to Chewy.com/ChewyClaus and it might become a reality. Plus, your wish means Chewy will donate 5 meals to pets in need.

Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job credit

Ritual: ritual.com/helpmebeme for 25% your first month 

TruDiagnostic: TruDiagnostic.com and  use code HELPMEBEME for 20% off your entire order or subscription
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A visioning practice as we close out the year. This is for making space for what is meant to come forth. This is for anyone wanting to process what is inside and position themselves for the year to come. I have lots of prompts in this one for reflecting and journaling. I also have lots of prompts for creating a vision board! A link to these prompts is linked below – in the case you want to just listen along and then do them in a journal and make a vision board later.

I have been doing this myself because it’s easy to get so busy. We need a moment to checkin with where we’re at – what’s working, what needs tweaking. For me the ideal way to move through life is constantly course correcting, refining the recipe for your day, as you go. To be happy and fulfilled, we have to stop and take time to reflect on our life: what’s working and what we want to let go of. This ep is that opportunity!!

Here’s Pam Grout’s book which I love:

https://amzn.to/48BhwD5

Here are the prompts from this episode:

https://yaywithme.squarespace.com/visioning-2025

Sponsors:

Chewy: chewpanions.chewy.com/YAYWITHME to get $20 off your first order.

Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job credit

Ritual: ritual.com/helpmebeme for 25% your first month 

TruDiagnostic: TruDiagnostic.com and  use code HELPMEBEME for 20% off your entire order or subscription
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This is for working on relationships in your life where you have weak boundaries. If there is a loved one who doesn’t respect your boundaries and you feel guilty for needing space from them, know that that is part of your upbringing and the feeling of needing space is your emotional health saying “I need to heal.” This is an episode to give you some relief around that set of feelings. It has some tools for coming into the present, tuning into your body.

Truly healthy and loving relationships are built between two capable individuals who show up with heartfelt effort. This also applies with your relationship to yourself: you need to show up for you and set consistent boundaries around harmful situations. If there’s a person in your life who is not honoring you and your values, it’s up to you to boundary how you deserve to be treated. There need to be consequences when someone is not treating you with basic human respect. If there’s a person in your life who is having all their cake while you beg for emotional crumbs, this is an episode about confronting change and moving toward action. The inner world will match the outer world: your bar has to be consistent for everyone in your life otherwise your self-worth is affected in all spheres. Sending love!  

Sponsors:

Factor: FactorMeals.com/HELPMEBEME50OFF and use
code HELPMEBEME50OFF to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year.

BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/helpmebeme to get 10% off your first
month of therapy 

Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job credit

Ritual: ritual.com/helpmebeme for 25% your first month

TruDiagnostic: TruDiagnostic.com and use code HELPMEBEME for
20% off your entire order or subscription
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