WTF is AuDHD?

CONTENT DISCLAIMER: This episode contains discussions about sex, intimacy, masking, consent, and unwanted sexual experiences. Please listen with caution. It also contains some EXPLICIT language, so be mindful of younger ears.

This week we're discussing a topic that many people experience but rarely talk about: masking during sex and intimacy.

After receiving a vulnerable email from a listener who described feeling like they were performing through every sexual experience, we wanted to explore the complicated relationship between masking, people-pleasing, sensory experiences, expectations, and intimacy.

We talk about our own experiences growing up as women, the messages we received about sex and relationships, and how being neurodivergent can sometimes make it difficult to identify, communicate, and prioritise our own needs. We also discuss the difference between wanting something and feeling like you should want it, as well as the exhaustion that can come from constantly performing for others.

As always, we're sharing personal experiences and listener stories rather than diagnostic criteria, and we recognise that everyone's relationship with sex and intimacy is different.
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Before we were diagnosed, Paige and Ellie dismissed the possibility that we could be autistic because we didn't match the stereotypes we'd been exposed to. Even though Paige suspected she was autistic at 15, the environmental voices were so loud she gave up.

In this episode, we're unpacking some of the reasons we didn't think we could be autistic and the experiences we later realised were showing up differently than we expected.

As always, we're sharing our personal stories and experiences, not providing diagnostic advice. These traits don't automatically mean someone is autistic, but they may help explain why so many late-diagnosed and AuDHD people overlooked autism in themselves for years.

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Before we jump into this week's episode - we have a new Reddit! The other one will be going to the graveyard, so join our new one here: https://www.reddit.com/r/wtfisaudhd

In this episode we chat about the hobbies, journals, activities we swore we'd stick to... only to abandon then a few weeks later.

From the feelings of "this is it!" "this is my new thing" to the shame and embarrassment that comes after you've forgotten it even exists. We explore why ADHD brains become so intensely focused on new interests, why that motivation can disappear seemingly overnight, and the guilt, shame and financial "ADHD tax" that often follows. We also discuss your contributions around hobbies and dusty journals from the new Reddit community.

Plus, we received a message from our local psychologist Mike Cochrane about scam diagnoses and how to keep an eye out for illiegitimate 'experts'.

And speaking of things we've abandoned in the past... Paige brings her latest journal updates - and how she's trying her best to ensure this is a journal that stays with you forever! More info at wtfjournals.com/signup

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Modern life can sometimes feel like actual torture for an ADHD brain - and it really can be!

In this episode, we chat about dopamine, procrastination, novelty-seeking, and why so many apps, algorithms, and endless notifications are designed to hijack everyone's brains. Then when you add in the ADHD, we become the perfect target.

We look at the ways modern life may be making life harder for ADHDers, and we share some personal examples minor tasks we've avoided, even though it would help us in the long run. If you're struggling in this modern day, overstimulating world - you are not alone.

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Why do so many autistic, ADHD and AuDHD people experience a constant feeling that something is “wrong” or about to go wrong?

In this episode of WTF is AuDHD?, we explore our experiences with the feeling of impending doom. We theorise why it might be experienced more in our community - from anxiety and sensory overload to nervous system activation, interoception, uncertainty intolerance and emotional dysregulation.

We also share a few funny stories from the week that was, that include a lost cellphone and a tea kettle #adhdthings

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