Men, Sex & Pleasure with Cam Fraser

• #252 Porn, Parenting & Pleasure: Raising Boys in a Media-Saturated World (with Marc Zen)

  Key Points:Introductions and backgroundMarc Zen introduces himself as a PhD candidate at Curtin University researching explicit media literacy education, particularly focusing on parent perspectives. He discusses his personal experiences with education growing up and how that motivated his research interests.Defining "explicit media literacy" Marc explains why he uses the broader term "explicit media literacy" rather than just focusing on . He notes that parents were more concerned about the influence of media on their children's future relationships than just the content of itself.Parent perspectives on media influenceThe parents Marc interviewed expressed a range of views, but were generally most concerned about how the media their children consume could negatively impact their future relationships and ability to have healthy, respectful intimacy. Some saw potential benefits in using media to start conversations.Initiating conversations with children Many parents struggled with how to initiate conversations with their children about and relationships, often resorting to awkward tactics like having the conversation in the car. Marc and Cam discuss strategies for parents to create a safe, open environment for these discussions.Differences in parent and gender perspectives Marc observed differences in how mothers and fathers approached the topic, with fathers more likely to discuss directly and share their own experiences, while mothers were more concerned about media messages promoting unhealthy relationship dynamics.Framing education in schools Marc discusses the debate around taking a "critical" approach versus a more "neutral" approach to teaching explicit media literacy in schools. He believes the neutral approach focused on building practical skills is more effective, though the critical approach is better than nothing.Concluding thoughtsMarc emphasizes the importance of reframing adolescence as a time of opportunity to build valuable life skills, rather than just a period of risk and vulnerability. He advocates for evidence-based, shame-free education that provides young people with practical tools.Relevant linksWebsite: www.marczen.com.au.Instagram: marc_zen_

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• #251 Pleasure, Innovation & the Ethics of AI: Redesigning Desire (with Brian Sloan)

  Key Points:Introduction to Brian Sloan and AutoblowBrian Sloan introduces himself as the creator of the Autoblow brand of male pleasure products. He discusses how he got into this industry, starting with selling latex fetishwear and then realizing there was a need for better male toys. He has been working on developing the Autoblow and VacuGlide products for over 16 years.Passion for Male PleasureBrian explains that his initial interest in this industry was more of a business decision, but over time he developed a genuine passion for helping men find pleasure and addressing the imbalance in the pleasure products industry being more focused on women. He believes men have different needs and desires that were not being met.Autoblow and VacuGlide Product DetailsBrian provides an overview of the Autoblow AI Ultra and VacuGlide products, including how they work, their key features, and the different use cases and target customers for each product. He discusses how the VacuGlide in particular caters to men who may have difficulty achieving or maintaining erections.Online Communities and Customer FeedbackBrian discusses the online communities that have formed around the Autoblow products, including an active subreddit where customers provide feedback and suggestions. He explains how this feedback has been valuable in improving the products over time.Concerns About AI-Powered Toys Brian shares his personal concerns about the potential risks of AI-powered toys, particularly the VR integration, and how the immersive experience could become addictive for some users. He believes there needs to be more awareness and education around the potential downsides of this technology.Balancing Risks and Benefits of Tech Cam and Brian have a thoughtful discussion about balancing the potential benefits of tech, like helping disabled users or providing educational/training tools, with the risks of addiction or unhealthy reliance. They explore ideas around data privacy, transparency, and empowering users to make informed choices.Closing Thoughts Brian acknowledges the validity of Cam's concerns about the potential risks of AI-powered toys, and says the industry needs to recognize and address these issues, even if they don't change their core business practices. Cam expresses excitement to see if and how the industry evolves in response to these emerging challenges.Relevant Links:Brian's Website: https://www.vieci.com/

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• #250 Play, Presence, and Pleasure: Reclaiming Connection Beyond Performance (with Zari)

  Key Points: Introductions and Zari's backgroundZari introduces himself as an artist, illustrator, and traveler who is currently exploring the topic of authentic connection and pleasure. He shares his passion for travel, authentic connections, and finding new ways to cultivate presence and embodied experiences.Challenges with modern connection and performance Zari discusses the issues he sees with modern connection and intimacy, including the pressure to perform, the influence of social media and media portrayals, and the tendency to get caught up in playing roles rather than being authentic. He emphasizes the importance of slowing down, being curious, and focusing on the embodied experience rather than external expectations.Unpacking body image and performance anxiety Cam shares his observations about the body image and performance anxiety issues he sees in many of the men he works with, including comparing themselves to idealized male physiques on social media and in media, as well as anxiety around size and performance. They discuss how these pressures and scripts can lead men to develop unhealthy habits and get stuck in their heads during intimate experiences.Suggestions for more playful, embodied intimacy Zari and Cam discuss practical ways to create more playful, embodied, and pressure-free intimate experiences, such as sensual touch and exploration games, writing down fantasies, and being creative and spontaneous in the moment when things don't go as planned. They emphasize the importance of communication, vulnerability, and a willingness to experiment and learn together.Zari's upcoming book "Play With Me" Zari shares details about his upcoming book "Play With Me", which will be a visually-rich, illustrated guide to intimate games and practices. He discusses his goal of creating a movement and community around this work, and invites Cam to support the Kickstarter campaign launching next week.Relevant Links: Zari's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/zari.plays/Zari's Twitter: https://x.com/ZariPlays

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• #249 Masculinity, Love, and Liminal Space (with Triss Tashi)

  Key Points:Defining love and its many facetsTriss and Cam discuss the concept of love, its various meanings and expressions, and how it can be experienced on emotional, physical, and spiritual levels. They explore the limitations of language in capturing the full essence of love, and the importance of acknowledging the diversity of love's manifestations.Navigating masculinity and gender normsCam shares his personal experiences and reflections on the societal narratives and prescriptive ideas around masculinity, and how they can create barriers for men to engage in self-love, intimacy, and vulnerability. They discuss the polarizing rhetoric from some masculinity influencers and the need to move beyond rigid definitions of what it means to be a "real man."Embodying love and connectionTriss explains his approach to facilitating workshops and retreats focused on cultivating self-love, interpersonal connection, and a deeper understanding of one's authentic self, beyond societal labels and expectations. He emphasizes the importance of engaging the whole being - mind, body, emotions, and spirit - in this transformative process.Navigating uncertainty and the liminal spaceCam shares his personal experience of feeling caught in a liminal space, where he doesn't fully identify with traditional labels like "heterosexual" or "queer," and the challenges and fears that can arise from this ambiguity. Triss offers insights on embracing the unknown, integrating shadows, and finding freedom in the space beyond rigid definitions.Closing thoughts and next stepsTriss shares his passion for working with men who are on the cusp of deeper self-discovery and a more expansive understanding of love, connection, and purpose. He invites Cam and the listeners to explore the resources and opportunities available to continue this important exploration and personal growth.Relevant links:Triss' website: https://trisstashi.com/

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• #248 Beyond Erections: Softness, Pleasure, and the Power of Presence (with Mish Middelmann)

  Key Points:Mish's background and book Mish introduces himself as a 60-something man who has shifted his health work from a focus on cancer to a broader focus on men's health and wellness. He has recently written a book about embracing and finding pleasure in a "soft " rather than fixating on erections.The need for a new perspective on maleMish explains that he was motivated to write the book because he realized there was a lack of resources and information available about enjoying intimacy and pleasure without a hard erection. Most existing resources focus on "fixing" erectile dysfunction rather than exploring alternative paths to fulfillment.The emotional and psychological journey Mish discusses the emotional and psychological challenges men face when their bodies don't perform as expected, including feelings of loss, shame, and withdrawal. He emphasizes the importance of grieving these changes and redefining one's relationship to pleasure and masculinity.Exploring the body and sensationsMish and Cam discuss practical strategies for exploring the body and sensations beyond just the genitals, including mapping pleasure across the body, slowing down, and being present to subtle energetic shifts and reverberations.Redefining intimacy and "completion" Mish shares insights on how he and his partner have redefined the end of intimacy, moving away from a focus on as the "finish line." They emphasize communication, presence, and exploring energetic connections as ways to find fulfillment and closure without relying on a hard erection.Closing thoughts and book availability Mish provides an overview of the book's title and content, and shares information on where readers can purchase the book, both online and through select brick-and-mortar retailers.Relevant Links:Mish’s Twitter: @RecoveringMan1Mish’s website: www.recoveringman.net

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