The Kink Consultant

• Ep 35 – What It’s Really Like to Have a Spanking Fetish: Kai and Sarah’s Story of Suppression, Self-Acceptance, and Finding Each Other (Part 1)

  What happens when two people spend years suppressing a core part of themselves only to realize that denying their identity comes at too high a cost? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I sit down with Kai and Sarah for Part 1 of a powerful two-part series exploring how their shared spanking fetish shaped their personal growth, relationships, and ultimately, their path to each other.We talk about what it was like to try to “make it work” in partnerships that didn’t share their kink, the emotional toll of trying to suppress a core need, and how meeting one another brought clarity, healing, and fulfillment. This conversation goes deep into identity, compatibility, and the courage it takes to choose alignment over obligation.Whether you’re wrestling with your identity, navigating kink in a relationship, or searching for connection that truly sees you, this episode offers perspective, validation, and the reminder that you're not alone.In Part 2, we’ll dive into how Kai and Sarah play within their domestic discipline dynamic, how they navigate playing with others, and the rules and structure they’ve built to make it work, so stay tuned for that! Episode Highlights: 02:53 Challenges in Relationships and Spanking04:43 Finding Fulfillment and Community17:03 Discipline and Accountability in Spanking20:07 Reflecting on First Spanking Experiences22:12 The Challenges of Exploring Kinks in Marriage25:39 Finding Compatibility and Connection31:26 Practicing Domestic Discipline37:10 Advice for Those Struggling with Kink AcceptanceConnect with Kai and Sarahhttps://fetlife.com/KaiDisciplinehttps://fetlife.com/Stormborn9 Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Book Mentioned: Sex with Shakespeare by Jillian KeenanPodcast Mentioned: Never Too Old for Agoodspankin https://open.spotify.com/show/2nmEpCSJn9UEigZp3Z1uKc?si=2e07e3435b174154Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

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• Ep 34 - Chastity, Cages & Control: Larah Sky Talks About the Psychology Behind Power Play

  What’s the deal with chastity and why are so many people obsessed with it?In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I welcome back Larah Sky for her second appearance, and trust me, she delivers. Lara gets candid about the psychology behind chastity, why some men crave the cage, and what it really means to hold power in a dynamic built on denial.We dive deep into virtual chastity, trust vs. control, emotional responsibility, and the growing appeal of long-term denial. Lara also shares how her experience as a sadist and content creator intersects with power exchange and why she believes true submission isn’t about the latex or the aesthetics, but about mindset. Plus, we talk ghosting subs, fan site pressures, and how boundaries and soft dom energy can still feel just as powerful.Whether you're new to chastity or just curious about the deeper layers of kink, this episode blends education, honesty, and just the right amount of dominance. Tune in to hear how control, craving, and connection come together in the world of conscious kink.Episode Highlights: 00:35 Recap of Previous Episode on Chastity05:59 Exploring Kink and Fetish Parties10:15 Strange Encounters and Dating Stories17:08 Understanding Chastity Fantasies21:23 Nudity and Femdom Perspectives25:23 Motivational Domination29:52 Soft Domination and Content CreationConnect with Larah Sky: https://www.larahsky.com/Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

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• Ep 33: Dating Update: How I Went From a Kinky FWB Breakup to a Guy Who Can't Even Text Back (Am I Bridget Jones?)

  What actually happens when you walk away from a BDSM dynamic that no longer works, and end up with someone who still can’t meet your needs, even after you’ve communicated them clearly, more than once? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I sit down with Brenda (aka my BizDom) to share an honest and frustrating update on my dating life.I talk about why I chose to leave a partner who understood my kinks but lacked consistency, and how I entered a new connection with someone who seemed open to kink but has shown little interest in learning more. To make things harder, consistent communication has become its own challenge, despite multiple conversations about what I need.Whether you’ve been here yourself or are trying to avoid this cycle altogether, this episode offers a real look at the emotional toll of unmet needs, the importance of follow-through, and what it takes to stop settling for almost. Tune in for a candid conversation, some hard truths, and the kind of perspective that might just help you reset your own standards.Episode Highlights: 01:48 BDSM Contract and Breakup03:30 Dating and Political Differences20:44 Navigating New Relationships22:36 Recognizing Dominant Traits23:14 Spanking Fetish and Boundaries26:46 Communication Struggles28:43 Feeling Unseen and Unheard31:20 Reflecting on Compatibility36:26 Bridget Jones Comparison44:07 Setting Boundaries and Moving ForwardConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.Keywords: dating while kinky, bdsm dating dynamics, friends with benefits breakup, kink consultant podcast, emotional needs in relationships, bdsm communication, kink compatibility, dating red flags, how to talk about kink, bdsm and emotional connection, kink podcast, dating update podcast, dating someone who won’t communicate, unmet needs in relationships, breaking up with fwb, when kink isn’t enough, sex-positive podcast, kink and modern dating, effort in relationships, why communication matters, Dominant and submissive, Dom, sub

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• Ep 32 - What Happens When a Married Couple Starts Swinging? This Couple Talks About Having Trust and Setting Boundaries Part 2

  In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m back with Candace and Derek for Part 2 of our conversation, and trust me, it’s even juicier than the first. From pegging to big dick fantasies to how swinging became part of their love story. This is a real, vulnerable, and hilarious look into intimacy, growth, and letting go of shame.We dive deep into how religious upbringing impacted Candace’s early sexuality, and how swinging became the unlikely key to her self-love and confidence. They open up about power dynamics, gender roles, jealousy, and the emotional safety it takes to build something that lasts even when other people are watching. We talk about everything from consent violations in group spaces to what it means to hold each other emotionally through sex with others. This isn’t your average swinger story. It’s a masterclass in communication, trust, and letting yourself be seen.If you’ve ever wondered what real intimacy looks like when you add kink, faith, and a whole lot of dirty talk into the mix, this episode is for you. Tune in to hear how Candace and Derek turned religious pressure into empowered pleasure, and how they’re still rewriting the rules of what love and connection can look like.Episode Highlights: 01:27 Exploring Sexuality and Self-Acceptance04:13 Balancing Religion and Lifestyle24:41 First Swinger Party Experience29:49 Positive Feedback and Consent37:32 Setting Boundaries and Communication41:08 Handling Jealousy and Self-Discovery42:45 Advice for CouplesConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

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• Ep 31 - What Really Happens at a Sex Party? This Couple Talks About Sex Parties, Kink and Porn Addiction Part 1

  What actually happens when a long-term monogamous couple decides to explore the world of sex parties and kink for the very first time? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I sit down with married couple Derek and Candace, who share exactly what went down during their very first hotwife party weekend in Vegas. We talk about navigating consent, comfort, and connection in group play spaces, what makes or breaks a sex party vibe, and how Derek and Candace transitioned from a deeply monogamous marriage to a more open, exploratory dynamic. They also open up about what sparked their curiosity, what it’s like to play with others while staying emotionally connected as a couple, and how kink helped them redefine trust, intimacy, and their relationship to pleasure. We also dig into how emotional safety, exhibitionism, and even shared eye contact can be turn-ons in public play.If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to attend a sex party, open up your relationship, or explore kink for the first time with a partner, this episode offers a raw and relatable perspective. Tune in to hear how one spontaneous night helped spark a new era in their marriage and why connection, honesty, and curiosity matter more than any label.Episode Highlights: 00:39 Meeting at the Hot Wife Party05:45 Exploring the Playrooms13:45 How Derek and Candace Met20:09 Intentional Setup: Creating the Perfect Environment24:37 Reflecting on the Date: Rules and Realizations28:36 Exploring Kinks and Desires31:47 Candace's Porn AddictionConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

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