The Prymal Podcast

Fatherhood, masculinity and what it actually takes to be a good man and a good person, with powerlifting coach Ian Grant and Alter Fuel founder Conor O'Keeffe.
Three fathers discuss the boundaries we set that our kids never see, what to tell your partner versus what to carry alone, what makes a good person and a good man, agency versus victimhood, why systems beat willpower and much more.

Dan: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thedancampion⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get your FREE copy of 20 Books and Podcasts to Change Your Life: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://mailchi.mp/prymal/bookspodcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Chapters:
00:00:01 Introductions
00:03:42 The Real Question: What Makes A Good Life
00:09:19 Standards, Mirrors and Raising Likeable Kids
00:19:26 The Walled Garden: Freedom Inside A Boundary You Don't See
00:23:30 Teaching A Skill Once, Then Stepping Back
00:51:23 Standing On The Shoulders Of Giants
00:57:38 What Dan's Parents Got Right, and Overdid
01:01:12 Ian On His Absent Father and His Mother's Flip
01:08:11 Kids Mimic What You Do, Not What You Say
01:17:22 Masculinity In Service Of Something Bigger Than Yourself
01:30:30 Would You Tell Your Wife If You Had Cancer?
01:34:42 Victim Or Responsible: The Social Media Question
01:39:25 Drink Responsibly, Scroll Responsibly
01:46:31 Should Kids Be Banned From Social Media
02:06:47 The Privilege Of A Hard Start
02:09:07 What You Tell Your Partner, and What You Carry Alone
02:17:17 The Cease and Desist Letter and the Miscarriage
02:27:29 Leave Your Runners By The Bed
02:30:17 The Way You Talk To Yourself
02:36:18 Closing Reflection and Where To Find Them

Everyone wants peace of mind.
But modern life seems to pull us further away from it.
Notifications. Distractions. Stress. Pressure. Feeling more overwhelmed, anxious and emotionally exhausted than ever.
Buddhist meditation teacher Kadam Adam Starr returns to explore why so many people struggle to slow down, why external success rarely creates lasting happiness, and why caring for your inner life has become one of the most important skills in the modern world.
This conversation explores the hidden imbalance between our external achievements and our internal wellbeing, offering a practical framework for cultivating greater peace, resilience and meaning without stepping away from everyday life.
Why modern life leaves so many people feeling overwhelmed
The hidden cost of constantly chasing external success
Why your inner life deserves as much attention as your career
Small daily practices that restore balance
Why happiness isn’t found by doing more
How to create more peace without escaping modern life
Why meditation complements, not replaces, ordinary life
The balance between ambition, achievement and inner wellbeing

Dan: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thedancampion⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get your FREE copy of 20 Books and Podcasts to Change Your Life: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://mailchi.mp/prymal/bookspodcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Chapters:
00:00 Introduction
02:08 Why Peace Feels So Far Away
06:12 Why We're All So Overwhelmed
10:47 The Inner Life We Keep Ignoring
16:34 Your External Life vs Your Inner Life
20:13 The Challenge of Being Human Today
25:58 Why Success Doesn't Create Peace
31:20 The Problem With Constant Productivity
36:48 Building Better Mental Habits
42:14 Modern Life Is Moving Too Fast
47:40 Why We're Chasing the Wrong Things
01:03:12 Restoring Balance Without Leaving Society
01:09:54 Small Practices That Change Everything
01:16:33 Why This Matters More Than Ever
01:22:40 Final Reflections

Success can look perfect from the outside while being driven almost entirely by fear.
We explore ambition, uncertainty and the hidden cost of constantly pursuing the next achievement. Brian reflects on building a highly successful business, why scale eventually pulled him away from the work and life he genuinely valued, and how becoming a father changed his definition of success.
You’ll learn:
How fear can disguise itself as ambition
Why external success may still leave you disconnected
The difference between living safely and living honestly
How parenthood can fundamentally change your priorities
Why constant work prevents difficult emotions from catching up
How to create more space, presence and meaning in everyday life

Dan: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thedancampion⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get your FREE copy of 20 Books and Podcasts to Change Your Life: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://mailchi.mp/prymal/bookspodcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Chapters:

00:00:00 The Final Episode in the Old Studio
00:02:06 Bias Towards Action vs Having Nowhere to Be
00:03:52 When Opposite Behaviours Come From the Same Fear
00:05:53 Making Decisions Without Complete Certainty
00:09:18 Why Fear Stops People From Starting
00:13:29 Building a Successful Business You No Longer Want
00:16:46 How Becoming a Parent Changes Success
00:18:21 When Your Success Is Built Around Fear
00:22:57 How Do You Know What You Truly Want?
00:25:41 The False Promise of Certainty
00:28:41 Why Designing Your Own Life Can Feel Wrong
00:30:13 Productivity, Structure and Emotional Avoidance
00:32:11 Learning to Live Through Uncertainty
00:34:10 The Deathbed Test for Success
00:37:18 Using Work to Avoid Difficult Emotions
00:40:25 Why Life and Parenthood Feel Like They’re Flying By
00:42:12 Creating Space Between Emotion and Reaction
00:42:53 Moving Into the New Prymal Studio
00:44:22 Fear, Purpose and the Questions Without Answers
00:45:51 The Importance of People in Your Corner

Kadam Adam Starr is a Kadampa Buddhist Meditation teacher with nearly 3 decades of experience studying and practicing.
Most of us spend our lives trying to change our thoughts.
Very few of us ever stop to ask what thoughts actually are.
This conversation explores one of the biggest questions in psychology, meditation and human consciousness: what is the mind?
Adam explains the relationship between Buddhist psychology and modern Western psychology, why we become trapped inside our thoughts and emotions, and how learning to experience awareness directly can fundamentally change the way we relate to anxiety, anger, stress and suffering.
This episode explores how understanding the nature of the mind creates more space, compassion and freedom in everyday life.

You’ll learn:
• Why you are not your thoughts or emotions
• The difference between understanding the mind and experiencing it
• How meditation changes your relationship with anxiety and anger
• Why outrage is becoming our default emotional state
• The connection between neuroscience, psychology and Buddhist wisdom
• Practical ways to cultivate greater peace of mind

Dan: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thedancampion⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get your FREE copy of 20 Books and Podcasts to Change Your Life: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://mailchi.mp/prymal/bookspodcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction

00:14 Buddhist Psychology and Western Psychology

01:53 What Is the Mind?

10:05 A Guided Exercise to Experience Your Mind

14:50 Thoughts Are Clouds, Your Mind Is the Sky

17:46 Why You Are Not Your Thoughts

29:33 Understanding the Mind vs Experiencing It

35:53 How Awareness Changes Your Relationship With Anger

42:26 Does a Buddhist Still Get Angry?

44:12 Can Anger Ever Be Healthy?

48:39 How Social Media Trains Us to Be Angry

52:46 Looking at Your Phone More Than Your Mind

57:18 Is the Mind Different From the Brain?

1:04:34 Why You Shouldn’t Identify With Your Brain

1:10:42 Creating the Conditions for Peace of Mind

1:17:44 The Different Pieces of Mental Health

1:19:20 Tara Kadampa Meditation Centre

Brian O’Loughlin is a coach, podcaster, entrepreneur and regular guest on The Prymal Podcast. His work explores psychology, behaviour change and the deeper ideas that shape how people live.

This conversation explores several principles that have recently stood out as powerful ways of understanding human behaviour and personal growth.

Topics include:

• The difference between pain and suffering  
• Finite vs infinite games and how people approach life  
• Why psychological failure feels harder than physical failure  
• The beliefs that quietly shape behaviour  
• Awareness as the starting point for change  
• Humans living in environments we weren’t built for  
• The modern misunderstanding of Stoicism  
• Self-actualisation vs self-transcendence  
• Why meaning is closely tied to human connection

Dan: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thedancampion⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get your FREE copy of 20 Books and Podcasts to Change Your Life: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://mailchi.mp/prymal/bookspodcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Chapters:
00:00:00 Introduction
00:02:15 Why Certain Ideas Stick With Us
00:05:10 Psychological vs Physical Failure
00:08:25 Pain vs Suffering
00:11:55 Why Humans Avoid Discomfort
00:15:40 Finite Games vs Infinite Games
00:21:05 Playing the Wrong Game in Life
00:26:10 How Beliefs Shape Behaviour
00:30:05 Awareness Before Change
00:34:40 Humans Living in the Wrong Environment
00:39:20 Stoicism and Modern Misinterpretations
00:43:30 Escaping Emotion Through Distraction
00:47:45 Self-Actualisation vs Self-Transcendence
00:51:30 Meaning Through Human Connection
00:55:10 Trust, Peace and the Nervous System