unPAUSED with Dr. Mary Claire Haver

In this episode Dr. Mary Claire Haver is joined by Dr. Rachel Rubin, a board-certified urologist and nationally recognized expert in sexual medicine, fellowship trained in both female and male sexual health. As assistant clinical professor of urology at Georgetown University and former education chair of the International Society for the Study of Women's Sexual Health, she brings unique insight into the stark disparities in how sexual dysfunction is treated across genders. Dr. Rubin founded the Sexual Medicine Research Team, and her advocacy work has been instrumental in changing FDA labeling on hormone therapy and advancing the American Urological Association Guidelines on genital urinary syndrome of menopause.

During the conversation, Dr. Haver and Dr. Rubin explore the intersection of menopause, hormones and women's sexual health, revealing why most doctors, including OB-GYNs, receive virtually no training in sexual health despite sexual dysfunction affecting millions of women. Dr. Rubin explains how men's sexual health benefits from 27 fellowship programs while women's sexual health has only three, and why erectile dysfunction research receives billions while female orgasm research gets nothing from the NIH. She breaks down the complete anatomy of the clitoris that most medical professionals never learned, explaining why understanding this matters for surgical outcomes, pleasure, and treating conditions like vulvar vestibule pain that affects penetration, tampon use, and pelvic exams. Dr. Rubin discusses how the vulvar vestibule, the hormone sensitive tissue surrounding the urethra, becomes a source of pain for many women during perimenopause, on birth control pills, or postpartum due to low estrogen and testosterone.

Guest links:

Dr. Rachel Rubin (Instagram)

Dr. Rachel Rubin (YouTube)

Dr. Rachel Rubin (Website)

Dr. Rachel Rubin (LinkedIn)

Dr. Rachel Rubin (Facebook)

Dr. Rachel Rubin (X)

Books

“Vagina Obscura: An Anatomical Voyage Hardcover,” by Rachel E. Gross

Articles

Sexual function after hysterectomy according to surgical indication: a prospective cohort study (Sexual Health)

The human cervix: Comprehensive review of innervation and clinical significance (Clinical Anatomy)

Brain activation during vaginocervical self-stimulation and orgasm in women with complete spinal cord injury: fMRI evidence of mediation by the vagus nerves (Brain Research)

The Impact of Glucagon-like Peptide-1 Receptor Agonists on Erectile Function: Friend or Foe? (Biomolecules)

Effect of Saw Palmetto Extract on Erectile Dysfunction and Libido in Patients with Lower Urinary Tract Symptoms Because of Benign Prostatic Obstruction (International Journal of Applied Research on Medicinal Plants)

“Not feeling like myself” in perimenopause — what does it mean? Observations from the Women Living Better survey (Menopause)

Updates on Therapeutic Alternatives for Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause: Hormonal and Non-Hormonal Managements (Journal of Menopausal Medicine)

Menopausal Hormone Therapy and Cardiovascular Diseases in Women With Vasomotor Symptoms: A Secondary Analysis of the Women’s Health Initiative Randomized Clinical Trials (JAMA Internal Medicine)

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In this continuation of their conversation, Dr. Jocelyn Wittstein and Dr. Mary Claire Haver shift from understanding why menopause affects bones and joints to what actually works for building stronger bones and preventing fractures. If you've been told your bone density is declining, or you're worried about falls and fractures, this episode delivers the practical protocols you need.

Dr. Wittstein is a practicing orthopedic surgeon, researcher, and associate professor at Duke University specializing in sports medicine and the female athlete across the lifespan. She's also a former collegiate gymnast and mother of five. Her research focuses on frozen shoulder, ACL injuries in female athletes, and the musculoskeletal syndrome of menopause. As president of the Forum for Women in Sports Medicine, Dr. Wittstein is changing how we understand the intersection of hormones, movement, and independence in women's bodies.

They tackle the questions women ask most. How much exercise is enough? What types build bone? Is jumping necessary? They discuss the LIFT More trial and EFOPS trial, research showing women in structured exercise programs had fifty percent reduction in fracture risk, even as bone density eventually declined. This reveals something crucial: preventing fractures goes beyond bone density numbers alone.

Guest links:

Jocelyn Ross Wittstein, MD (Duke Health)

Jocelyn Wittstein, MD (Instagram)

Duke Female Athlete Program

Milken Institute Women’s Health Initiative

Books:“The Complete Bone and Joint Health Plan: Help Prevent and Treat Osteoporosis and Arthritis,” by Dr. Jocelyn Wittstein and Sydney Nitzkorski, MS, RD

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If you've ever struggled to put on a bra, reach behind your back, or lift your arm without searing pain in your shoulder, you're not alone. Frozen shoulder strikes women in midlife at alarming rates, yet for decades, medicine dismissed it as a mystery condition with no known cause. Orthopedic surgeon Dr. Jocelyn Wittstein saw what others missed: her patients with frozen shoulder were almost all women between forty and sixty, experiencing hot flashes, night sweats, and other symptoms of perimenopause and menopause. What she discovered is changing how we understand the impact of declining estrogen on women's joints, bones, and muscles.

Dr. Wittstein is a practicing orthopedic surgeon, researcher, and associate professor at Duke University, specializing in sports medicine and the female athlete across the lifespan. She's also a former collegiate gymnast and mother of five. Her research focuses on frozen shoulder, ACL injuries in female athletes, and the musculoskeletal syndrome of menopause. As president of the Forum for Women in Sports Medicine, Dr. Wittstein is changing how we understand the intersection of hormones, movement, and independence in women's bodies.

In this conversation, Dr. Mary Claire Haver and Dr. Wittstein explore how declining estrogen during perimenopause and menopause impacts joints, bones, muscles, and connective tissue. They discuss why frozen shoulder disproportionately affects women in midlife, with some Asian cultures having their own term for it that translates to fifty year shoulder. Dr. Wittstein explains the critical window for treatment, why early intervention can be transformative, and how hormone replacement therapy may prevent it, with preliminary data suggesting women using systemic estradiol have half the risk of developing frozen shoulder. She shares why physical therapy during the inflammatory phase can worsen it and how to recognize the early warning signs.

Guest links:

Jocelyn Ross Wittstein, MD (Duke Health)

Jocelyn Wittstein, MD (Instagram)

Duke Female Athlete Program

Milken Institute Women’s Health Initiative

Books“The Complete Bone and Joint Health Plan: Help Prevent and Treat Osteoporosis and Arthritis,” by Dr. Jocelyn Wittstein and Sydney Nitzkorski, MS, RD

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Award-winning British television creator Sally Wainwright joins Dr. Mary Claire Haver to discuss her groundbreaking new BBC series Riot Women, a drama about five midlife women who form a punk rock band while navigating menopause, aging parents, and the complexities of life after 50. Sally, the creative force behind acclaimed series including Happy Valley, Gentlemen Jack, and Last Tango in Halifax, shares how her own experience with perimenopause and menopause inspired the show and why she calls this life stage "identity theft."

The conversation explores Sally's journey from bus driver to one of British television's most celebrated showrunners, her commitment to portraying authentic female characters who carry grief, desire, sexuality, rage, and resilience in bodies that reflect actual lived experience, and how brain fog, joylessness, and depression led her to finally try hormone replacement therapy after initially believing outdated myths about breast cancer risk, and how that decision transformed her wellbeing.

Dr. Haver and Sally discuss the critical importance of naming menopause symptoms, from the devastating loss of motivation and confidence that can accompany hormonal changes to the sandwich generation pressures of dementia care for aging parents while raising teenagers. The episode examines why female stories, particularly those featuring women over 50, face funding challenges in entertainment, how male writers have historically constructed female characters through the male gaze, and why Sally believes women are more heroic and emotionally articulate than men.

They explore the revolutionary aspects of Riot Women, including its honest portrayal of sexual health, libido changes, medical gaslighting, and the transformative power of HRT, rarely if ever depicted on screen with such nuance and optimism. Sally discusses audience response to the series, including an unprecedented volume of thank-you letters to the BBC from viewers who felt seen for the first time, men's surprising embrace of the show despite its focus on female experience, and a handful of critics who complained about the absence of "nice men" despite the show's ensemble of complex, flawed characters of all genders. This conversation offers validation for anyone navigating the physical and emotional challenges of perimenopause and menopause, inspiration for creative midlife reinvention, and hope that entertainment is finally beginning to tell the truth about women's lives with the honesty, ferocity, humor, tenderness, and rage they deserve.

Guest links:

Sally Wainwright (Instagram)

Sally Wainwright (IMDB)

Articles

Menopausal Hormone Therapy and the Breast: A Review of Clinical Studies (Breast Care)

Anhedonia: A Concept Analysis (Archives of Psychiatric Nursing)

Other Resources

Primary Ovarian Insufficiency in Adolescents and Young Women (American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists)

Riot Women (BBC)

Clips from Riot Women:

251105_RiotWomen_Ep1_Clip_Satisfaction_Bug.mp4

251105_RiotWomen_Ep1_Clip_WithAttitude_Bug.mp4

251105_RiotWomen_Ep1_Clip_RiotWomen_Bug.mp4

251105_RiotWomen_Ep1_Clip_OneMenopausalWomanToAnother_Bug.mp4

251105_RiotWomen_Ep1_Clip_ForTheRefugees_Bug.mp4


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Dr. Elizabeth Comen is a board certified oncologist at NYU Langone Health, co-director of the Mignoni Women's Health Collaborative, and author of the groundbreaking book “All In Her Head: The Truth and Lies Early Medicine Taught Us About Women’s Bodies and Why It Matters Today”. In this powerful conversation about medical gaslighting and women's healthcare, she and Dr. Mary Claire Haver trace the deep roots of medical misogyny and reveal why the healthcare system still dismisses women's symptoms today.

Dr. Comen shares the story of a breast cancer patient on her deathbed who, hours from death, apologized for sweating during a hug. It's a moment that captures what nearly every woman experiences in a doctor's office, the reflexive apology for being in a normal human body. Whether it's apologizing for leg hair in stirrups or hiding underwear during an exam, women have internalized tremendous shame about their bodies. Dr. Comen explains this isn't random. It's the legacy of a medical system built by men who dismissed women's pain and symptoms as hysteria, neurosis, or anxiety.

Through meticulous research into medical history, Dr. Comen reveals how this medical gaslighting became embedded in healthcare. She discusses William Osler, one of cardiology's founding fathers, who described women's chest pain as "neurotic angina" and wrote that "these women do not die." Yet heart disease is the number one killer of women. She explains how women are twice as likely to call an ambulance for their husband's heart attack than for themselves, and when they do seek help for chest pain, they're far more likely to be misdiagnosed with a panic attack instead of receiving proper cardiac care.

Dr. Haver and Dr. Comen discuss the systemic healthcare gaps across medical specialties: why 80% of autoimmune diseases affect women yet it's not considered a women's health field, why female specific surgeries are reimbursed at significantly lower rates than comparable male procedures, why Alzheimer's disease is twice as common in women but received almost no research funding, and how the legacy of dismissing women's sexual health continues in breast cancer and oncology care today. They explore bizarre historical medical fears like "bicycle face," the myth that women would become ugly and infertile from exercise, and how plastic surgery evolved to make women "marriage material" rather than serve their actual health needs.

Despite the sobering history of medical misogyny, this conversation ends with hope. Dr. Comen shares why she's optimistic about the cultural shift happening in women's healthcare now, the importance of women advocating for themselves in medical settings, and how the next generation doesn't have to wait for menopause to stop apologizing and start demanding better healthcare.

Guest links:

Dr. Elizabeth Comen

Dr. Elizabeth Comen (Instagram)

Dr. Elizabeth Comen (LinkedIn)

Dr. Elizabeth Comen, MD (NYU)

Books

“All in Her Head: The Truth and Lies Early Medicine Taught Us About Women’s Bodies and Why It Matters Today,” by Dr. Elizabeth Comen

“The New Menopause,” by Dr. Mary Claire Haver“The New Perimenopause: An Evidence-Based Guide to Surviving the Zone of Chaos and Feeling Like Yourself Again,” by Dr. Mary Claire Haver

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