Sex Advice for Seniors Podcast

What I Discussed With Bruce & Judy
- What 22 years together has taught them about sex and intimacy.
- Why being able to talk openly about sexual desires becomes easier with maturity.
- How earlier marriages shaped their approach to relationships.
- The role of erotica, fantasy and sexual exploration in a monogamous relationship.
- Menopause, responsive desire and changes in libido.
- Why accepting rejection graciously can make intimacy easier.
- How kindness, humour and playfulness help couples stay connected.

Chapters

Show Notes
Can sex actually get better as you get older?
My guests, psychologist and couples therapist Dr. Bruce Chalmer and his wife Judy Alexander, have been together for 22 years. They also host Couples Therapy in Seven Words, where they explore what makes relationships work.
We talk about why sexual maturity can be an advantage, how their previous marriages influenced the relationship they have today, and what they've learned about communicating desires without fear of criticism or rejection.
Judy also shares how writing erotica has opened up another side of her sexuality, while Bruce explains why responsive desire, playfulness and simply being kind to each other can matter so much in long-term relationships.

Key Takeaways
- Sexual maturity can bring greater confidence and openness to intimacy.
- Couples can explore fantasies without necessarily acting on them.
- Responsive desire is just as valid as spontaneous desire.
- Being able to say and accept "no" without resentment helps build trust.
- Everyday affection and playfulness can keep sexual connection alive.
- Kindness and respect are important foundations for lasting intimacy.

About the Guest
Dr. Bruce Chalmer is a licensed psychologist and couples therapist with decades of experience helping people navigate relationships, intimacy and conflict. He is the author of several relationship books, including Reigniting the Spark and It's Not About Communication!
Judy Alexander is a former educator and school principal who writes erotica under the pen name Laria Zylber. Her book, The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible, explores desire through imaginative retellings of biblical stories.
Together, Bruce and Judy host Couples Therapy in Seven Words, sharing their professional and personal perspectives on relationships.

About Suzanne
Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of Sex Advice for Seniors, a podcast for people who want to enjoy sex, intimacy, and connection at every age.
Through her podcast, newsletter, courses, and community, Suzanne challenges the idea that sex has an expiry date and offers honest, practical conversations about sexuality, ageing, relationships, and pleasure.

Connect With Suzanne
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors
Substack: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Connect With Bruce & Judy Here:
Couples Therapy in Seven Words https://couplestherapyinsevenwords.com/
Bruce Chalmer — Website, Books & Courses https://brucechalmer.com/
Judy Alexander / Laria Zylber https://lariazylber.com/
Couples Therapy in Seven Words on Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/couples-therapy-in-seven-words/id1517231158

Want More?
Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.
Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie
Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com
Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com
Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm
Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes
The Simple Practice That Brought Intimacy Back After 20 Years — Elana Auerbach https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-waiting-to-feel-in-the-mood-doesnt
How to Ask for What You Want in Bed (and Get It) — Susan Bratton https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/episode-105-how-to-ask-for-what-you
Still Getting Real: Dr. Susan Campbell on Love and Sex in Your 80s https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/still-getting-real-dr-susan-campbell



This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

What I Discussed With Andrea Feinberg
- Dating again in your 70s and discovering unexpected possibilities.
- Why younger men are attracted to older women.
- Sexual confidence, body image and feeling desirable.
- Reclaiming sexuality after years without intimacy.
- Dating apps, kink and exploring new experiences.
- Staying safe while dating online and setting boundaries.
- Why age doesn't have to determine what you do next.
- Reinvention, independence and creating a bigger life later in life.

Chapters
00:00 Sponsor: https://www.ohmibod.com/
00:27 Introduction
01:50 Dating Again in Your 70s
02:08 Andrea's First Experiences With Younger Men
03:22 A Renewed Sexual Life
04:22 Suzanne's Experience With Dating Younger Men
05:39 Why Younger Men Date Older Women
06:01 What Andrea Looks For in a Partner
07:22 Why Younger Men Are Attracted to Older Women
07:47 What Older Women Bring to Relationships
09:13 “Your Sexiest Years Begin at 70”
10:21 Body Confidence and Dating Younger Men
11:24 Feeling Comfortable in Your Own Body
13:28 Why Younger Men Can Be More Open About Desire
14:01 Sex, Desire and Personal Transformation
16:19 Exploring FetLife and Sexuality
17:20 Erotic Writing, Photos and Sexual Confidence
19:36 From Sexual Exploration to Wanting a Relationship
20:18 Dating Safety and Consent
21:31 Andrea's Approach to Safe Online Dating
22:29 Background Checks and Meeting in Public
25:27 Writing About Sex and Deciding What to Share
26:11 How the Book Came Together
28:18 Finding New Possibilities After 70
29:20 Can Age-Gap Relationships Last?
30:23 Looking for a Deeper Relationship
31:10 Age-Gap Relationships and What Makes Them Work
32:03 Older Women as Trailblazers
32:36 Why Andrea Wrote the Book
33:14 Reinventing Yourself and Rejecting Age Limits
34:42 Deciding What You Want Next
35:15 Independence and Confidence
36:44 Growing Up Without Shame Around Sex
37:57 Why Many Older Women Struggle With Sexual Confidence
38:47 What's Next for Andrea
39:35 A Possible New Book: The Bridge Club
40:40 Why Life Doesn't Get Smaller With Age
42:15 Closing

Show Notes
What happens when you start dating again in your 70s and discover that your sex life and sense of possibility are far from over?
Andrea Feinberg began dating again at 71 after years without intimacy. She found herself dating significantly younger men, exploring parts of her sexuality she hadn't expected to revisit, and eventually turning those experiences into her book, Sex, Sensuality, and the Senior Woman.
In this conversation, Andrea talks openly about younger men, sexual confidence, dating apps, kink, safety, reinvention and why she refuses to let the phrase "at my age" determine what comes next.
She is now looking for something more serious, but the bigger message remains the same: getting older doesn't mean your life has to get smaller.

Key Takeaways
- Dating and sexual exploration can happen at any age.
- Younger men may be attracted to older women for reasons that have little to do with age.
- Confidence can grow through new experiences and being seen as desirable.
- Online dating requires boundaries, patience and attention to safety.
- Reinvention doesn't have an expiration date.
- Your next chapter doesn't have to follow conventional expectations.

About the Guest
Andrea Feinberg is the author of Sex, Sensuality and the Senior Woman, a candid account of rediscovering dating, desire and sexual confidence in her seventies.
After 25 years as a business coach, Andrea has shifted her focus toward helping other senior women question the limitations placed on them as they age and explore what they still want from life, relationships and themselves.
Her work is rooted in curiosity, reinvention and the belief that getting older doesn't mean your possibilities have to get smaller.

About Suzanne
Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of Sex Advice for Seniors, a podcast for people who want to enjoy sex, intimacy, and connection at every age.
Through her podcast, newsletter, courses, and community, Suzanne challenges the idea that sex has an expiry date and offers honest, practical conversations about sexuality, ageing, relationships, and pleasure.

Connect With Suzanne
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors
Substack: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Connect with Andrea
LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/andreafeinberg
Sex, Sensuality and the Senior Woman — Apple Books https://books.apple.com/us/book/sex-sensuality-and-the-senior-woman/id6794138217
Sex, Sensuality and the Senior Woman — Red Penguin Books https://redpenguinbooks.com/sex-sensuality-and-the-senior-wo
Andrea also has two Substack publications: Erotica by Andrea Feinberg https://substack.com/@eroticabyandreafeinberg and Not Too Old for a Plot Twist https://substack.com/@andreafeinbergplottwist

Want More?
Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.
Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie
Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com
Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com
Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm
Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes
Cindy Gallop on Dating Younger Men https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/episode-13-cindy-gallop-on-dating

The Dating Mistakes That Keep You Single After 40 | ft. Sandy Weiner https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/the-dating-mistakes-that-keep-you

Widowhood, Desire, and the Sexual Reawakening Nobody Talks About https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/widowhood-desire-and-the-sexual-reawakening


This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

What I Discussed With Caroline Hood
- Why couples need to stay connected as lovers as well as parents.
- How motherhood can affect desire, identity and intimacy.
- Why women's desire may not disappear but simply get pushed aside.
- What happens when you're "touched out" from caregiving.
- How ageing and changing bodies can affect sexual confidence.
- Why communication matters when a couple's sexual dynamic changes.
- How women can reconnect with their sexual selves.

Chapters

Show Notes
Motherhood can change the way couples see themselves and each other. The shift from partners to parents can be gradual, and sex and intimacy can easily move down the list.
Caroline Hood, a sex therapist, clinical social worker and mother of three, talks about staying lovers alongside being parents, reclaiming desire, and what happens when caregiving and changing bodies affect the way we experience sex. Pasted text
We also talk about feeling "touched out," losing touch with your sexual identity, and why women shouldn't have to give up their sexuality simply because they are getting older.

Key Takeaways
- Becoming a parent doesn't mean losing your identity as a lover.
- Sexual intimacy often needs to be intentional, especially when life gets busy.
- Desire can be pushed aside without actually disappearing.
- Feeling "touched out" is something couples need to be able to talk about.
- Aging doesn't mean giving up pleasure or feeling desirable.
- Reconnecting with your sexual self can happen at any stage of life.

About Caroline Hood
Caroline Hood is a sex therapist and clinical social worker, as well as a mother of three. Her work focuses on desire, sexuality and relationships, drawing on both her professional experience and her own experience of motherhood and long-term partnership. She is also the author of the forthcoming book Sex Begets Sex: Reclaiming Desire as an Act of Female Empowerment.

About Suzanne
Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of Sex Advice for Seniors, a podcast about sex, intimacy, pleasure, and relationships in later life.
Through her podcast, newsletter, and community, Suzanne challenges the idea that sex has an expiry date and encourages people to stay curious about their bodies and sexual wellbeing at every age.

Connect With Suzanne
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors
Substack: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Connect with Caroline
Website https://www.desireinreallife.com/
Substack https://substack.com/@desireinreallife
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/desireinreallife/
YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_VhaAzddAiEuQO6Kgk051g

Want More?
Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.
Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie
Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com
Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com
Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm
Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes
Why Couples Lose Desire (And How to Get It Back) | Dr. Anna Elton https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-couples-lose-desire-and-how-to

Why Sex Changes After 50 and What Nobody Tells You | ft. Dr. Jenn Kennedy https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-sex-changes-after-50-and-what

Why Women Lose Their Libido (And How to Get It Back) | ft. Pauline Ryeland https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/pauline-ryeland


This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

What I Discussed With Gaylen Wilson
- How erectile dysfunction changed Gaylen's sex life and marriage.
- Why he believes men should take ED seriously rather than ignore it.
- How couples can stay connected when erections become unreliable.
- Why intimacy doesn't have to be centred around performance.
- How shame and withdrawal can damage relationships.
- The connection between ED, attachment and fight-or-flight.
- How Gaylen and Heather developed the Monument Method.
- Why lifestyle, fitness and overall health still matter.

Chapters
00:00 Sponsor: OhMiBod https://www.ohmibod.com/ + Introduction
01:58 Gaylen’s Experience With Erectile Dysfunction
03:33 Rebuilding Intimacy Through Serious Illness
04:34 Erectile Dysfunction and the Importance of Heart Health
06:02 Stroke, Viagra, and Cardiovascular Health
08:42 Sex Beyond Erectile Dysfunction
09:46 What Men With Erectile Dysfunction Struggle With
12:35 Porn, Performance, and Sexual Connection
14:06 When Erectile Dysfunction Leads to Withdrawal in Relationships
15:12 The “Tough Nut Letter”
16:11 Removing Shame and Facing Erectile Dysfunction Together
17:29 Attachment Theory and Relationship Safety
19:21 The Monument Method
20:13 Repairing Conflict and Rebuilding Connection
21:41 Why Some Men Withdraw After Developing Erectile Dysfunction
22:53 Why Erectile Dysfunction Can Have Many Causes
24:36 Beyond the “Blue Pill”: Lifestyle and Erectile Dysfunction
26:18 Erectile Dysfunction Treatments, Injections, and Long-Term Health
28:28 The Mission Behind the Monument Method
29:36 Healthy Aging, Exercise, and Intimacy
31:48 The Sanctuary Bond
33:26 Keeping Desire Alive After 20+ Years Together
34:31 Sobriety, Connection, and Personal Change
35:30 Keeping Long-Term Intimacy Alive
36:42 Outro

Show Notes
Erectile dysfunction can affect much more than sex. It can change confidence, intimacy and the way couples relate to each other.
In this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, Suzanne talks with Gaylen Wilson, a heart transplant survivor, relationship author and founder of the Monument Method Institute. Gaylen shares his long experience with ED and how he and his wife stayed connected when serious illness changed what sex looked like in their marriage.
They also talk about what happens when shame causes men to withdraw, why sex doesn't have to be centred around performance, and how the Monument Method grew out of Gaylen and Heather's own experience of protecting their relationship through difficult periods.

Key Takeaways
- ED can affect a relationship as much as it affects sex.
- Intimacy can continue even when erections become unreliable.
- Shame and withdrawal can create additional problems for couples.
- Talking openly can help partners approach ED as something they can work through together.
- The Monument Method uses a shared cue to interrupt conflict and reconnect.
- Health, fitness and lifestyle are part of the wider conversation around sexual wellbeing.

About Gaylen
Gaylen Wilson is a heart transplant survivor, relationship author and founder of the Monument Method Institute. His work focuses on erectile dysfunction, intimacy, emotional safety and helping couples protect their relationships.
You can find Gaylen and Heather's work at Monument Method Institute. Their site describes the Monument Method as a relationship system built around interrupting destructive conflict, restoring safety and protecting the bond.

About Suzanne
Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of Sex Advice for Seniors, a podcast about sex, intimacy, pleasure, and relationships in later life.
Through her podcast, newsletter, and community, Suzanne challenges the idea that sex has an expiry date and encourages people to stay curious about their bodies and sexual wellbeing at every age.

Connect With Suzanne
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors
Substack: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Connect with Gaylen
Website https://www.monumentmethodinstitute.com/
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/monumentmethodinstitute/
YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@MonumentMethodInstitute
TikTok tiktok.com/@monumentmethod
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/share/1aXxBYJ9kw/

Want More?
Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.
Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie
Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com
Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com
Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm
Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes
The Hidden Habits Destroying Men's Erections | ft. Tom Jenkins https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/the-real-cause-of-erectile-dysfunction
He Helped Invent Viagra: What's Next for Men's Sexual Health? | Dr. Arthur Burnett https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/he-helped-to-invent-viagra-whats
Toxic Masculinity in Men's Groups | Chris Hands
https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/episode-118-toxic-masculinity-in


This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

What I Discussed With Rockne O'Leary
- How fitness can affect sexual performance, confidence and overall health.
- Why strength training and consistency become even more important as we age.
- How to start exercising again when you've been out of the gym for years.
- The connection between fitness, stress, lifestyle and sexual health.
- Why men need places where they can talk honestly about relationships and life.
- How Rockne's men's group is trying to create a space without judgment, including eventually bringing younger and older men together.

Show Notes
We often talk about fitness as something we do to look better. But as we get older, it becomes much more about staying strong, having energy, feeling confident and looking after the body we actually have.
In this episode, I talk with Rockne O'Leary, a sports performance coach, about fitness after 50 and the connection between exercise, confidence and sexual health. We talk about what happens when men stop training, how to start again after years away from the gym, and why consistency matters more than going all out.
We also get into something I found particularly interesting: men's groups. Rockne runs a virtual group where men can talk openly about relationships, stress, confidence and the things they don't always feel comfortable discussing elsewhere.

Key Takeaways
- You don't need to go all out. You need to find something you can do consistently.
- Fitness should give you energy rather than constantly leave you exhausted.
- Starting small can help build momentum.
- Sexual health isn't separate from the rest of your health.
- Asking for help can be the first step towards changing both your fitness and sex life.

About Rockne O'Leary
Rockne O'Leary is a sports performance coach whose work combines physical training with mindset, confidence and personal development. He also runs a men's group focused on creating a space for men to have more open conversations about relationships, personal challenges and growth. His fitness work includes strength, speed, power and athletic performance.

About Suzanne
Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of Sex Advice for Seniors, a podcast about sex, intimacy, pleasure, and relationships in later life.
Through her podcast, newsletter, and community, Suzanne challenges the idea that sex has an expiry date and encourages people to stay curious about their bodies and sexual wellbeing at every age.

Connect With Suzanne
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors
Substack: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Connect With Rockne O'Leary
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rockoleary/
YouTube @youcantfoolyou
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/rockne.oleary/

Want More?
Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.
Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie
Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com
Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com
Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm
Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes
What Most People Get Wrong About Sex and Ageing | Dr. Justin Lehmiller https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/the-hidden-shame-men-feel-about-sexual

The Hidden Habits Destroying Men's Erections | ft. Tom Jenkins https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/the-real-cause-of-erectile-dysfunction?utm_source=publication-search

Toxic Masculinity in Men's Groups | Chris Hands https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/episode-118-toxic-masculinity-in?utm_source=publication-search



This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe