You Must Be Some Kind of Therapist

In this episode, I sit down with Ryan Malphrus, a licensed clinical social worker and therapist in private practice who works with adolescents and adults — particularly boys and men. Ryan spent 15 years working in level-five special education schools before transitioning to private practice, and he brings a grounded, refreshingly honest perspective on the struggles facing young men today.

We dive into how boys communicate through behavior and aggression, and why the instinct to shut those impulses down often backfires. Ryan shares his own experience of internalizing societal messages that told him his natural masculine traits — his drive, his assertiveness, his sexuality — were problems to be managed rather than understood. We explore the red pill pipeline and "looksmaxxing" culture, and why young men are turning to these communities when therapy and education fail to speak to their actual needs.

We also discuss the crisis of purpose facing men in modern society, why schools are not boy-friendly, the vital role of physical play and risk-taking in healthy development, and how parents — especially single moms — can learn to step back and let their sons work through conflict. We close with a conversation about differentiation: that psychological maturity that allows us to have feelings without being controlled by them, and how adults modeling that capacity gives children the room to develop it themselves.
Ryan Malphrus is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Maryland and Connecticut providing individual psychotherapy to adolescents and adults. With over 10 years of experience, Ryan specializes in working with men and boys, offering a space to explore identity without judgment. His primary orientation is psychodynamic, and he is a board-certified clinical supervisor. Learn more at ryanmalphrus.com or follow him on X @VirgilMSW.

[00:00:00] Start
[00:05:25] Interpreting Kids' Behavior as Communication
[00:09:35] Natural, Logical, and Punitive Consequences
[00:12:35] Boys Hiding From Masculinity
[00:17:10] Red Pill Culture and Looks Maxing
[00:23:25] Societal Shame Around Male Nature
[00:28:25] Online Identity and Social Media's Impact
[00:33:55] The Crisis of Male Purpose
[00:39:15] Trades and Alternative Paths to Manhood
[00:47:20] Are Schools Boy Friendly?
[00:51:35] Physical Play and Male Bonding
[00:56:50] Thoughts vs. Actions With Angry Kids
[01:05:15] Giving Adolescents Progressive Freedom
[01:13:05] Differentiation and Emotional Maturity
ROGD REPAIR Course + Community gives concerned parents instant access to over 120 lessons providing the psychological insights and communication tools you need to get through to your kid. Now featuring 24/7 personalized AI support implementing the tools with RepairBot! Use code SOMETHERAPIST2026 to take 50% off your first month.

PODCOURSES: use code SOMETHERAPIST at LisaMustard.com/PodCourses

TALK TO ME: book a meeting.

PRODUCTION: Looking for your own podcast producer? Visit PodsByNick.com and mention my podcast for 20% off your initial services.

SUPPORT THE SHOW: subscribe, like, comment, & share or donate.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order.

MUSIC: Thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude & permission.

 ALL OTHER LINKS HERE.

To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend!
Learn more about Do No Harm.

Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com.
Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi.
Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellness products.
Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI.
Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration.
Have a question for me? Looking to go deeper and discuss these ideas with other listeners? Join my Locals community! Members get to ask questions I will respond to in exclusive, members-only livestreams, post questions for upcoming guests to answer, plus other perks TBD.

★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Chaplain, coach, and author Dean Abbott joins me for a thought-provoking conversation about the difference between healthy introspection and unhealthy rumination. Dean challenges a popular argument that therapy simply encourages people to think about themselves too much, making the case instead that people don't ruminate for fun — they ruminate because they're in pain and searching for something they've lost.
Together we explore what makes self-examination productive versus destructive, and Dean introduces a framework rooted in the Christian tradition that contrasts nihilistic rumination — where a person endlessly rehearses their pain with no resolution — with a more structured self-examination oriented toward growth, virtue, and wisdom. I get personal and share my own recent struggles with loneliness and the tension between being a generous host and not getting that energy back when I need it most. Dean walks me through what healthy self-examination would look like in that situation, pointing to the importance of recognizing our legitimate needs and having the courage and honesty to express them.
We also dive into the lost concept of human formation, the role of moral education in therapy, why thousands of years of wisdom literature shouldn't be abandoned in the counseling room, and the difference between development and formation. This is a rich, honest, and deeply human conversation.
Dean Abbott is a coach, chaplain and author living in the Midwest. He loves animals, music and baseball. His can be found at www.deanabbott.com. His X account which has been hacked is @deanabbott but he doesn't recommend following him until the situation is resolved.
[00:00:00] Start
[00:00:49] Stephanie Introduces Dean Abbott
[00:02:07] Healthy Versus Unhealthy Introspection
[00:03:47] Why the "Stop Ruminating" Argument Falls Short
[00:05:09] People Don't Ruminate for Fun
[00:07:13] The Missing Half: Why Culture Fails the Ruminative Mind
[00:08:16] Nihilistic Rumination Versus Christian Self-Examination
[00:10:20] Stephanie Gets Personal About Loneliness
[00:13:00] Walking Through Healthy Self-Examination
[00:15:40] Tension Between Generosity and Personal Needs
[00:17:33] Wisdom Over Rule-Following in the Christian Life
[00:19:20] What Leads to Wisdom Versus What Leads to Nihilism
[00:21:45] Healthy Introspection Leads to Hope
[00:24:01] Coaching Men Who Don't Know What They Want
[00:27:35] Emotional Intelligence and Decoding Our Needs
[00:29:22] The Lost Concept of Human Formation
[00:32:15] Formation Versus Development
[00:36:07] Virtue and the Difference It Makes in Self-Examination
[00:38:25] What's Wrong With a Liberal Approach to Psychotherapy
[00:41:43] Seeing Yourself in the Larger Human Narrative
[00:43:26] Moral Education in Therapy: A Practical Example
[00:44:32] The Sports Betting Example: Virtue and Deep Self-Examination
[00:48:21] Why Reality Is Inescapably Moral
[00:50:26] Stephanie Asks for a Personal Tip on Virtue
[00:53:00] What Dean Does: Coaching, Chaplaincy, and Writing
[00:56:38] Closing
ROGD REPAIR Course + Community gives concerned parents instant access to over 120 lessons providing the psychological insights and communication tools you need to get through to your kid. Now featuring 24/7 personalized AI support implementing the tools with RepairBot! Use code SOMETHERAPIST2026 to take 50% off your first month.

PODCOURSES: use code SOMETHERAPIST at LisaMustard.com/PodCourses

TALK TO ME: book a meeting.

PRODUCTION: Looking for your own podcast producer? Visit PodsByNick.com and mention my podcast for 20% off your initial services.

SUPPORT THE SHOW: subscribe, like, comment, & share or donate.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order.

MUSIC: Thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude & permission.

ALL OTHER LINKS HERE.

To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend!
Learn more about Do No Harm.

Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com.
Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi.
Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellness products.
Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI.
Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration.
Have a question for me? Looking to go deeper and discuss these ideas with other listeners? Join my Locals community! Members get to ask questions I will respond to in exclusive, members-only livestreams, post questions for upcoming guests to answer, plus other perks TBD.

★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Today I'm joined by Dr. Will Dobud, a social worker, researcher, and educator who has worked with adolescents and families across the United States, Australia, and Norway. Will is the co-author of Kids These Days: Understanding and Supporting Youth Mental Health, and he brings a refreshingly optimistic yet realistic perspective to the challenges facing today's young people.
We dig into some truly provocative territory in this conversation. Will challenges the prevailing narrative that phones and social media are the root of the youth mental health crisis, drawing on historical moral panics — from kaleidoscopes to pinball machines — to argue that blanket bans rarely work. Instead, he advocates for digital integration through boundaries and parental involvement.
We explore why more diagnoses, more medication, and more therapy haven't improved outcomes, and how the explosion of mental health labeling — especially around neurodivergence — may actually be doing more harm than good. Will shares his concerns about "label mania," the misuse of accommodations, and how identity politics have hijacked what was originally a movement toward inclusion. We also talk about the shortage of real-world experience for kids, the importance of rough-and-tumble play, and what parents can do to build connection instead of defaulting to control. This episode asks the hard questions: Are we crushing the spirit of youth with our own adult anxiety? And what would happen if we just gave kids something worth participating in?
Dr. Will Dobud is a social worker, researcher, and educator who has worked with adolescents and families in the United States, Australia, and Norway. Will is from Washington, D.C., and divides his time between the United States and Australia each year. He is the author and editor of three books, including Kids These Days: Understanding and Supporting Youth Mental Health. Will is an award-winning researcher and educator who has received recognition for excellence in research, teaching, and crime prevention. Dr. Dobud is a Senior Lecturer in Social Work at Charles Sturt University, Australia's largest social work school. Will is an invited international speaker who conducts workshops for therapists and families worldwide. Will's research focuses on improving therapy outcomes for teenagers and promoting safe, ethical practices. He has investigated and written about America's Troubled Teen Industry, especially wilderness therapy. He has worked alongside advocates, survivors, researchers, and clinicians to protect youth from institutionalization and harm.
WillDobud.com
www.kidsthesedaysbook.com
Facebook: @WillDobudPhD
X: @WillDobud
Instagram: @WillDobud @Kids_These_Days_Book
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/will-dobud-5209ab74/
Substack: https://substack.com/@willdobud

Books mentioned in this episode:
Kids These Days: Understanding and Supporting Youth Mental Health by Will Dobud and Nevin Harper
The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt
i-Minds by Mari Swingle
The Spirit of Youth and the City Streets (1909) by Jane Addams

[00:00:00] Start
[00:02:46] Why Adults Get Trapped Trying to Fix Kids
[00:06:06] What's Actually Going Right With Youth Today
[00:10:17] Environmental Toxins and the Hard Questions
[00:11:48] Digital Interference vs. Digital Integration
[00:17:54] Can Kids Self-Regulate With Screens?
[00:25:57] Phone-Free Schools: Solution or Distraction?
[00:34:43] The Anxious Generation's Four Norms Problem
[00:37:10] Putting Yourself in a Kid's Shoes
[00:40:11] Experiential Learning and the Crowded Curriculum
[00:48:07] Autism, Neurodivergence, and Label Mania
[00:56:35] Identity Politics and Secondary Gain
[01:04:04] Living Well With ADHD Without Hiding Behind It
[01:12:11] Accommodations as Institutional Traps
[01:16:22] Breaking Free From Therapeutic Dogma
[01:18:46] Normies, Psychos, and Schizos
[01:21:25] Institutional Exploitation in Mental Health
[01:28:12] The Shortage of Experience and Risky Play
[01:32:33] DC Punk Rock as Youth Participation Model
[01:37:45] What Don't You Want to Change About Your Child?
ROGD REPAIR Course + Community gives concerned parents instant access to over 120 lessons providing the psychological insights and communication tools you need to get through to your kid. Now featuring 24/7 personalized AI support implementing the tools with RepairBot! Use code SOMETHERAPIST2026 to take 50% off your first month.

PODCOURSES: use code SOMETHERAPIST at LisaMustard.com/PodCourses

TALK TO ME: book a meeting.

PRODUCTION: Looking for your own podcast producer? Visit PodsByNick.com and mention my podcast for 20% off your initial services.

SUPPORT THE SHOW: subscribe, like, comment, & share or donate.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order.

MUSIC: Thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude & permission.

 ALL OTHER LINKS HERE.

To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend!
Learn more about Do No Harm.

Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com.
Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi.
Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellness products.
Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI.
Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order.

Today I sit down with my friend Anita Bartholomew, a magazine journalist and author, to discuss her new book Sacrificial Lambs: Liberal Reporter Exposes How the Progressive Left Harms Children in the Name of Gender Ideology. This is Anita's second appearance on the show, and this time she walks us through the findings of her thorough investigation into how gender ideology functions as a predatory movement targeting today's youth.
We dig into the disturbing reality of what's being taught in K-12 public schools under the banner of "comprehensive sexuality education" — from second-grade anatomy lessons designed around queer theory to explicitly sexual library books being promoted to middle schoolers. Anita reads excerpts from books like "All Boys Aren't Blue," "Beyond Magenta," and "Gender Queer" that are sitting on school library shelves, and we explore how this curriculum systematically breaks down children's natural psychological boundaries.
We also examine the mainstream media's role in propping up the gender ideology narrative, looking at how outlets like the New York Times dismissed the Cass Report and continue to misrepresent reality. I share my perspective as a psychotherapist on how premature exposure to sexual content can confuse children's developing sense of sexuality and identity. We discuss what parents can do to protect their kids, why pressuring media for accurate reporting may be the most powerful long-term strategy, and why Anita believes the evidence overwhelmingly shows that there is no such thing as a "trans kid." Follow her on X @AnitaBart.
Anita Bartholomew's Substack
Anitabartholomew.com
[00:00:00] Start
[00:04:17] Why Anita Wrote Sacrificial Lambs
[00:06:22] What K-12 Schools Are Teaching Children
[00:12:15] Queer Theory Origins and Gayle Rubin
[00:14:44] Pornographic Books in School Libraries
[00:21:39] Academics Calling Children Sexual Beings
[00:24:53] Psychological Harm of Premature Sexual Content
[00:32:26] Comprehensive Sex Ed as Indoctrination
[00:35:04] How Media Indoctrinated Adults First
[00:37:46] NYT, Vox, and AP Headlines Exposed
[00:44:33] Sunk Cost, Money, and Who Pulls the Strings
[00:54:16] Advice for Parents in Captured Schools
[00:59:15] A Letter Writing Campaign for Change
[01:05:15] What Else Is in the Book
[01:12:00] Families Torn Apart by Gender Ideology
ROGD REPAIR Course + Community gives concerned parents instant access to over 120 lessons providing the psychological insights and communication tools you need to get through to your kid. Now featuring 24/7 personalized AI support implementing the tools with RepairBot! Use code SOMETHERAPIST2026 to take 50% off your first month.

PODCOURSES: use code SOMETHERAPIST at LisaMustard.com/PodCourses

TALK TO ME: book a meeting.

PRODUCTION: Looking for your own podcast producer? Visit PodsByNick.com and mention my podcast for 20% off your initial services.

SUPPORT THE SHOW: subscribe, like, comment, & share or donate.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order.

MUSIC: Thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude & permission.

 ALL OTHER LINKS HERE.

To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend!
Learn more about Do No Harm.

Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com.
Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi.
Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellness products.
Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI.
Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration.
Have a question for me? Looking to go deeper and discuss these ideas with other listeners? Join my Locals community! Members get to ask questions I will respond to in exclusive, members-only livestreams, post questions for upcoming guests to answer, plus other perks TBD.

★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Today I sit down with investigative reporter Benjamin Ryan, who was the only journalist present for the entirety of the historic Variant v. Einhorn trial — the first detransition malpractice lawsuit in the world to reach a jury verdict. Ben has been covering pediatric gender medicine for three years for outlets including the New York Times, NBC News, the New York Sun, and the Free Press, and he brings an extraordinary level of detail to this conversation.
We dive into the case of Fox Variant, a young woman diagnosed with autism who underwent a double mastectomy at age 16 after her psychologist, Kenneth Einhorn, wrote a referral letter riddled with errors and omissions — including listing body dysmorphic disorder instead of gender dysphoria. We discuss how the jury found Einhorn 70% responsible and plastic surgeon Dr. Chin 30% responsible for a $2 million award, the devastating testimony from Fox's mother about being coerced with suicide threats, and the critical communication failures between the psychologist and surgeon. We also explore what this verdict means for the nearly 30 other detransition lawsuits currently pending, why WPATH's standards of care were largely sidelined in the trial, and the broader implications for the field of pediatric gender medicine. I also share my own perspective as a therapist who worked for a group practice later acquired by the same company that employed Einhorn.
Benjamin Ryan is an independent reporter who has been covering pediatric gender medicine for the past three years, including on his Substack: benryan.substack.com. He writes for publications such as The New York Times, NBC News and The New York Sun and covered the detransitioner trial for The Free Press. Follow him @BenRyanWriter on X or BlueSky.
BenRyan.net
Benjamin's article in the Free Press, A Legal First That Could Change Gender Medicine
[00:00:00] Start
[00:00:54] Introducing Reporter Benjamin Ryan
[00:09:38] Fox Variant's Background and Rapid Transition
[00:18:35] Were WPATH Guidelines Actually on Trial?
[00:25:30] Disturbing Revelations From Einhorn's Treatment
[00:35:15] Changing the Body to Treat the Mind
[00:46:41] The Joanna Olson-Kennedy Lawsuit
[00:55:32] The Jury Verdict Question by Question
[01:06:41] Einhorn's Visible Devastation in Court
[01:13:04] Q&A: Technicality or Broader Indictment?
[01:31:31] What If WPATH Were Followed Perfectly?
ROGD REPAIR Course + Community gives concerned parents instant access to over 120 lessons providing the psychological insights and communication tools you need to get through to your kid. Now featuring 24/7 personalized AI support implementing the tools with RepairBot! Use code SOMETHERAPIST2026 to take 50% off your first month.

PODCOURSES: use code SOMETHERAPIST at LisaMustard.com/PodCourses

TALK TO ME: book a meeting.

PRODUCTION: Looking for your own podcast producer? Visit PodsByNick.com and mention my podcast for 20% off your initial services.

SUPPORT THE SHOW: subscribe, like, comment, & share or donate.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order.

MUSIC: Thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude & permission.

 ALL OTHER LINKS HERE.

To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend!
Learn more about Do No Harm.

Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com.
Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi.
Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellness products.
Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI.
Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration.
Have a question for me? Looking to go deeper and discuss these ideas with other listeners? Join my Locals community! Members get to ask questions I will respond to in exclusive, members-only livestreams, post questions for upcoming guests to answer, plus other perks TBD.

★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★