You Must Be Some Kind of Therapist

Chaplain, coach, and author Dean Abbott joins me for a thought-provoking conversation about the difference between healthy introspection and unhealthy rumination. Dean challenges a popular argument that therapy simply encourages people to think about themselves too much, making the case instead that people don't ruminate for fun — they ruminate because they're in pain and searching for something they've lost.
Together we explore what makes self-examination productive versus destructive, and Dean introduces a framework rooted in the Christian tradition that contrasts nihilistic rumination — where a person endlessly rehearses their pain with no resolution — with a more structured self-examination oriented toward growth, virtue, and wisdom. I get personal and share my own recent struggles with loneliness and the tension between being a generous host and not getting that energy back when I need it most. Dean walks me through what healthy self-examination would look like in that situation, pointing to the importance of recognizing our legitimate needs and having the courage and honesty to express them.
We also dive into the lost concept of human formation, the role of moral education in therapy, why thousands of years of wisdom literature shouldn't be abandoned in the counseling room, and the difference between development and formation. This is a rich, honest, and deeply human conversation.
Dean Abbott is a coach, chaplain and author living in the Midwest. He loves animals, music and baseball. His can be found at www.deanabbott.com. His X account which has been hacked is @deanabbott but he doesn't recommend following him until the situation is resolved.
[00:00:00] Start
[00:00:49] Stephanie Introduces Dean Abbott
[00:02:07] Healthy Versus Unhealthy Introspection
[00:03:47] Why the "Stop Ruminating" Argument Falls Short
[00:05:09] People Don't Ruminate for Fun
[00:07:13] The Missing Half: Why Culture Fails the Ruminative Mind
[00:08:16] Nihilistic Rumination Versus Christian Self-Examination
[00:10:20] Stephanie Gets Personal About Loneliness
[00:13:00] Walking Through Healthy Self-Examination
[00:15:40] Tension Between Generosity and Personal Needs
[00:17:33] Wisdom Over Rule-Following in the Christian Life
[00:19:20] What Leads to Wisdom Versus What Leads to Nihilism
[00:21:45] Healthy Introspection Leads to Hope
[00:24:01] Coaching Men Who Don't Know What They Want
[00:27:35] Emotional Intelligence and Decoding Our Needs
[00:29:22] The Lost Concept of Human Formation
[00:32:15] Formation Versus Development
[00:36:07] Virtue and the Difference It Makes in Self-Examination
[00:38:25] What's Wrong With a Liberal Approach to Psychotherapy
[00:41:43] Seeing Yourself in the Larger Human Narrative
[00:43:26] Moral Education in Therapy: A Practical Example
[00:44:32] The Sports Betting Example: Virtue and Deep Self-Examination
[00:48:21] Why Reality Is Inescapably Moral
[00:50:26] Stephanie Asks for a Personal Tip on Virtue
[00:53:00] What Dean Does: Coaching, Chaplaincy, and Writing
[00:56:38] Closing
ROGD REPAIR Course + Community gives concerned parents instant access to over 120 lessons providing the psychological insights and communication tools you need to get through to your kid. Now featuring 24/7 personalized AI support implementing the tools with RepairBot! Use code SOMETHERAPIST2026 to take 50% off your first month.

PODCOURSES: use code SOMETHERAPIST at LisaMustard.com/PodCourses

TALK TO ME: book a meeting.

PRODUCTION: Looking for your own podcast producer? Visit PodsByNick.com and mention my podcast for 20% off your initial services.

SUPPORT THE SHOW: subscribe, like, comment, & share or donate.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order.

MUSIC: Thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude & permission.

ALL OTHER LINKS HERE.

To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend!
Learn more about Do No Harm.

Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com.
Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi.
Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellness products.
Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI.
Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration.
Have a question for me? Looking to go deeper and discuss these ideas with other listeners? Join my Locals community! Members get to ask questions I will respond to in exclusive, members-only livestreams, post questions for upcoming guests to answer, plus other perks TBD.

★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Today I'm joined by Dr. Will Dobud, a social worker, researcher, and educator who has worked with adolescents and families across the United States, Australia, and Norway. Will is the co-author of Kids These Days: Understanding and Supporting Youth Mental Health, and he brings a refreshingly optimistic yet realistic perspective to the challenges facing today's young people.
We dig into some truly provocative territory in this conversation. Will challenges the prevailing narrative that phones and social media are the root of the youth mental health crisis, drawing on historical moral panics — from kaleidoscopes to pinball machines — to argue that blanket bans rarely work. Instead, he advocates for digital integration through boundaries and parental involvement.
We explore why more diagnoses, more medication, and more therapy haven't improved outcomes, and how the explosion of mental health labeling — especially around neurodivergence — may actually be doing more harm than good. Will shares his concerns about "label mania," the misuse of accommodations, and how identity politics have hijacked what was originally a movement toward inclusion. We also talk about the shortage of real-world experience for kids, the importance of rough-and-tumble play, and what parents can do to build connection instead of defaulting to control. This episode asks the hard questions: Are we crushing the spirit of youth with our own adult anxiety? And what would happen if we just gave kids something worth participating in?
Dr. Will Dobud is a social worker, researcher, and educator who has worked with adolescents and families in the United States, Australia, and Norway. Will is from Washington, D.C., and divides his time between the United States and Australia each year. He is the author and editor of three books, including Kids These Days: Understanding and Supporting Youth Mental Health. Will is an award-winning researcher and educator who has received recognition for excellence in research, teaching, and crime prevention. Dr. Dobud is a Senior Lecturer in Social Work at Charles Sturt University, Australia's largest social work school. Will is an invited international speaker who conducts workshops for therapists and families worldwide. Will's research focuses on improving therapy outcomes for teenagers and promoting safe, ethical practices. He has investigated and written about America's Troubled Teen Industry, especially wilderness therapy. He has worked alongside advocates, survivors, researchers, and clinicians to protect youth from institutionalization and harm.
WillDobud.com
www.kidsthesedaysbook.com
Facebook: @WillDobudPhD
X: @WillDobud
Instagram: @WillDobud @Kids_These_Days_Book
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/will-dobud-5209ab74/
Substack: https://substack.com/@willdobud

Books mentioned in this episode:
Kids These Days: Understanding and Supporting Youth Mental Health by Will Dobud and Nevin Harper
The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt
i-Minds by Mari Swingle
The Spirit of Youth and the City Streets (1909) by Jane Addams

[00:00:00] Start
[00:02:46] Why Adults Get Trapped Trying to Fix Kids
[00:06:06] What's Actually Going Right With Youth Today
[00:10:17] Environmental Toxins and the Hard Questions
[00:11:48] Digital Interference vs. Digital Integration
[00:17:54] Can Kids Self-Regulate With Screens?
[00:25:57] Phone-Free Schools: Solution or Distraction?
[00:34:43] The Anxious Generation's Four Norms Problem
[00:37:10] Putting Yourself in a Kid's Shoes
[00:40:11] Experiential Learning and the Crowded Curriculum
[00:48:07] Autism, Neurodivergence, and Label Mania
[00:56:35] Identity Politics and Secondary Gain
[01:04:04] Living Well With ADHD Without Hiding Behind It
[01:12:11] Accommodations as Institutional Traps
[01:16:22] Breaking Free From Therapeutic Dogma
[01:18:46] Normies, Psychos, and Schizos
[01:21:25] Institutional Exploitation in Mental Health
[01:28:12] The Shortage of Experience and Risky Play
[01:32:33] DC Punk Rock as Youth Participation Model
[01:37:45] What Don't You Want to Change About Your Child?
ROGD REPAIR Course + Community gives concerned parents instant access to over 120 lessons providing the psychological insights and communication tools you need to get through to your kid. Now featuring 24/7 personalized AI support implementing the tools with RepairBot! Use code SOMETHERAPIST2026 to take 50% off your first month.

PODCOURSES: use code SOMETHERAPIST at LisaMustard.com/PodCourses

TALK TO ME: book a meeting.

PRODUCTION: Looking for your own podcast producer? Visit PodsByNick.com and mention my podcast for 20% off your initial services.

SUPPORT THE SHOW: subscribe, like, comment, & share or donate.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order.

MUSIC: Thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude & permission.

 ALL OTHER LINKS HERE.

To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend!
Learn more about Do No Harm.

Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com.
Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi.
Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellness products.
Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI.
Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order.

Today I sit down with my friend Anita Bartholomew, a magazine journalist and author, to discuss her new book Sacrificial Lambs: Liberal Reporter Exposes How the Progressive Left Harms Children in the Name of Gender Ideology. This is Anita's second appearance on the show, and this time she walks us through the findings of her thorough investigation into how gender ideology functions as a predatory movement targeting today's youth.
We dig into the disturbing reality of what's being taught in K-12 public schools under the banner of "comprehensive sexuality education" — from second-grade anatomy lessons designed around queer theory to explicitly sexual library books being promoted to middle schoolers. Anita reads excerpts from books like "All Boys Aren't Blue," "Beyond Magenta," and "Gender Queer" that are sitting on school library shelves, and we explore how this curriculum systematically breaks down children's natural psychological boundaries.
We also examine the mainstream media's role in propping up the gender ideology narrative, looking at how outlets like the New York Times dismissed the Cass Report and continue to misrepresent reality. I share my perspective as a psychotherapist on how premature exposure to sexual content can confuse children's developing sense of sexuality and identity. We discuss what parents can do to protect their kids, why pressuring media for accurate reporting may be the most powerful long-term strategy, and why Anita believes the evidence overwhelmingly shows that there is no such thing as a "trans kid." Follow her on X @AnitaBart.
Anita Bartholomew's Substack
Anitabartholomew.com
[00:00:00] Start
[00:04:17] Why Anita Wrote Sacrificial Lambs
[00:06:22] What K-12 Schools Are Teaching Children
[00:12:15] Queer Theory Origins and Gayle Rubin
[00:14:44] Pornographic Books in School Libraries
[00:21:39] Academics Calling Children Sexual Beings
[00:24:53] Psychological Harm of Premature Sexual Content
[00:32:26] Comprehensive Sex Ed as Indoctrination
[00:35:04] How Media Indoctrinated Adults First
[00:37:46] NYT, Vox, and AP Headlines Exposed
[00:44:33] Sunk Cost, Money, and Who Pulls the Strings
[00:54:16] Advice for Parents in Captured Schools
[00:59:15] A Letter Writing Campaign for Change
[01:05:15] What Else Is in the Book
[01:12:00] Families Torn Apart by Gender Ideology
ROGD REPAIR Course + Community gives concerned parents instant access to over 120 lessons providing the psychological insights and communication tools you need to get through to your kid. Now featuring 24/7 personalized AI support implementing the tools with RepairBot! Use code SOMETHERAPIST2026 to take 50% off your first month.

PODCOURSES: use code SOMETHERAPIST at LisaMustard.com/PodCourses

TALK TO ME: book a meeting.

PRODUCTION: Looking for your own podcast producer? Visit PodsByNick.com and mention my podcast for 20% off your initial services.

SUPPORT THE SHOW: subscribe, like, comment, & share or donate.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order.

MUSIC: Thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude & permission.

 ALL OTHER LINKS HERE.

To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend!
Learn more about Do No Harm.

Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com.
Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi.
Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellness products.
Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI.
Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration.
Have a question for me? Looking to go deeper and discuss these ideas with other listeners? Join my Locals community! Members get to ask questions I will respond to in exclusive, members-only livestreams, post questions for upcoming guests to answer, plus other perks TBD.

★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Today I sit down with investigative reporter Benjamin Ryan, who was the only journalist present for the entirety of the historic Variant v. Einhorn trial — the first detransition malpractice lawsuit in the world to reach a jury verdict. Ben has been covering pediatric gender medicine for three years for outlets including the New York Times, NBC News, the New York Sun, and the Free Press, and he brings an extraordinary level of detail to this conversation.
We dive into the case of Fox Variant, a young woman diagnosed with autism who underwent a double mastectomy at age 16 after her psychologist, Kenneth Einhorn, wrote a referral letter riddled with errors and omissions — including listing body dysmorphic disorder instead of gender dysphoria. We discuss how the jury found Einhorn 70% responsible and plastic surgeon Dr. Chin 30% responsible for a $2 million award, the devastating testimony from Fox's mother about being coerced with suicide threats, and the critical communication failures between the psychologist and surgeon. We also explore what this verdict means for the nearly 30 other detransition lawsuits currently pending, why WPATH's standards of care were largely sidelined in the trial, and the broader implications for the field of pediatric gender medicine. I also share my own perspective as a therapist who worked for a group practice later acquired by the same company that employed Einhorn.
Benjamin Ryan is an independent reporter who has been covering pediatric gender medicine for the past three years, including on his Substack: benryan.substack.com. He writes for publications such as The New York Times, NBC News and The New York Sun and covered the detransitioner trial for The Free Press. Follow him @BenRyanWriter on X or BlueSky.
BenRyan.net
Benjamin's article in the Free Press, A Legal First That Could Change Gender Medicine
[00:00:00] Start
[00:00:54] Introducing Reporter Benjamin Ryan
[00:09:38] Fox Variant's Background and Rapid Transition
[00:18:35] Were WPATH Guidelines Actually on Trial?
[00:25:30] Disturbing Revelations From Einhorn's Treatment
[00:35:15] Changing the Body to Treat the Mind
[00:46:41] The Joanna Olson-Kennedy Lawsuit
[00:55:32] The Jury Verdict Question by Question
[01:06:41] Einhorn's Visible Devastation in Court
[01:13:04] Q&A: Technicality or Broader Indictment?
[01:31:31] What If WPATH Were Followed Perfectly?
ROGD REPAIR Course + Community gives concerned parents instant access to over 120 lessons providing the psychological insights and communication tools you need to get through to your kid. Now featuring 24/7 personalized AI support implementing the tools with RepairBot! Use code SOMETHERAPIST2026 to take 50% off your first month.

PODCOURSES: use code SOMETHERAPIST at LisaMustard.com/PodCourses

TALK TO ME: book a meeting.

PRODUCTION: Looking for your own podcast producer? Visit PodsByNick.com and mention my podcast for 20% off your initial services.

SUPPORT THE SHOW: subscribe, like, comment, & share or donate.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order.

MUSIC: Thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude & permission.

 ALL OTHER LINKS HERE.

To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend!
Learn more about Do No Harm.

Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com.
Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi.
Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellness products.
Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI.
Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration.
Have a question for me? Looking to go deeper and discuss these ideas with other listeners? Join my Locals community! Members get to ask questions I will respond to in exclusive, members-only livestreams, post questions for upcoming guests to answer, plus other perks TBD.

★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Michael Ziffra, a psychiatrist and associate professor at Northwestern University who specializes in anxiety disorders. Dr. Ziffra has been writing a Substack series called "Wise Mind in Anxious Times," exploring how we can better navigate the intersection of mental health and our turbulent political landscape.

We begin by discussing the alarming advice that made headlines—a Yale psychiatrist suggesting people should avoid family members who voted differently than them. Dr. Ziffra and I unpack why avoidance is the exact opposite of what we'd normally recommend for anxiety, and how vilifying language creates a vicious cycle that intensifies fear and paranoia. He offers practical wisdom on how softening our language can open doors to genuine dialogue.

From there, we dive deep into the world of psychiatric medication. Dr. Ziffra helps demystify the "chemical imbalance" theory, explaining why "dysfunction" is a better term than "imbalance" since we can't actually measure neurotransmitter levels the way we can check vitamin D. We explore fascinating territory including opioid receptors and depression, how low-dose naltrexone works, the dangers of chronic benzodiazepine use, and why tapering off medications requires far more patience than most people realize. We also discuss the overlooked impacts of birth control on young women's mental health, sleep disorders that masquerade as psychiatric conditions, and the emerging questions around weight loss drugs and ketamine for treatment-resistant depression.

Dr. Michael Ziffra is a psychiatrist and Associate Professor at Northwestern University, specializing in anxiety and mood disorders. Dr. Ziffra also is the author of “Wise Mind in Anxious Times”, a series on Substack exploring the interface between mental health and our sociopolitical climate. Its aim is to provide analysis and commentary from a mental health specialist with insight into why we experience anxiety about particular issues and happenings, and how to better manage that anxiety. Follow him on Substack, X, or Instagram.

[00:00:00] Start
[00:00:40] Guest Introduction: Dr. Michael Ziffra
[00:02:28] Yale Psychiatrist's Bad Advice on Family
[00:09:39] What Does a Psychiatrist Actually Do?
[00:12:03] The Chemical Imbalance Theory Explained
[00:18:02] Low-Dose Naltrexone and Opioid Receptors
[00:23:27] Benzodiazepines: Dangers and Dependence
[00:31:00] Safe Medication Tapering Strategies
[00:38:29] Nicotine Addiction and Smoking Cessation
[00:43:15] Psychiatry Beyond Just Medication
[00:47:30] Birth Control and Mental Health
[00:51:47] Sleep Disorders That Mimic Depression
[00:55:01] Weight Loss Drugs: Psychological Effects
[01:00:52] Ketamine for Treatment-Resistant Depression
[01:12:06] Where to Find Dr. Ziffra
ROGD REPAIR Course + Community gives concerned parents instant access to over 120 lessons providing the psychological insights and communication tools you need to get through to your kid. Now featuring 24/7 personalized AI support implementing the tools with RepairBot! Use code SOMETHERAPIST2025 to take 50% off your first month.

PODCOURSES: use code SOMETHERAPIST at LisaMustard.com/PodCourses

TALK TO ME: book a meeting.

PRODUCTION: Looking for your own podcast producer? Visit PodsByNick.com and mention my podcast for 20% off your initial services.

SUPPORT THE SHOW: subscribe, like, comment, & share or donate.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order.

MUSIC: Thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude & permission.

 ALL OTHER LINKS HERE.

To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend!
Learn more about Do No Harm.

Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com.
Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi.
Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellness products.
Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI.
Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission.

Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration.
Have a question for me? Looking to go deeper and discuss these ideas with other listeners? Join my Locals community! Members get to ask questions I will respond to in exclusive, members-only livestreams, post questions for upcoming guests to answer, plus other perks TBD.

★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★