Your Diet Sucks

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Your body isn’t too acidic, and a $12 bottle of alkaline water was never going to fix it anyway.
This week, Zoë and Kylee dig into the alkaline diet: where it came from, what the science says, and why it keeps coming back. The story starts in 1912, when scientists set food on fire and sorted it by its ash. That’s how the lemon, a famously acidic fruit, ended up on every “alkaline foods” list. From there, a real question about kidney disease and acid-base balance got stretched into a wellness theory of everything, picked up a celebrity fan club, and ended at a “miracle” ranch where people got hurt.
Then they get into how pH actually works in your body. Your lungs and kidneys keep your blood pH in a tight range whether you eat a kale salad or a meatball sub, and your stomach is acidic on purpose. Those urine pH test strips aren’t catching a problem. They’re watching your kidneys do their job. Kylee breaks down what the research says about acidic foods and bone health, plus the two buffering supplements with real evidence for athletes, sodium bicarbonate and beta alanine, and where that evidence stops.
Finally, alkaline water itself: does it work, what does a $5,000 water ionizer actually do, and why does the sales pitch sound so much like an MLM? Spoiler: none of it survives stomach acid.
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rabbit makes technical running gear that keeps up with you, pockets for all your snacks included. Shop at runinrabbit.com with the code you heard in this episode.
Microcosm Coaching offers individualized endurance coaching from humans who know your life and your goals. Book a free consultation at microcosm-coaching.com.

You’ve heard it in diet ads, anti-diet infographics, gym locker rooms, and possibly from us. “95% of diets fail” is one of the most repeated statistics in nutrition, and it gets used by both sides. Diet culture uses it to say everyone else’s diet fails, so buy theirs. Anti-diet spaces use it to say nothing works. So we went looking for where it came from.
The trail leads to a 1959 case series of 100 patients at a New York hospital. Each one got a diet sheet and one counseling visit, then never heard from anyone again. A quarter of them never came back. The number 95 doesn’t appear anywhere in the paper. When a reporter tracked down the lead author in 1999, he told her his data couldn’t support what people were doing with it. The statistic kept spreading anyway.
In this episode, Zoë and Kylee look at what the long-term weight loss research actually shows. That includes the Look AHEAD trial, a meta-analysis of 80 trials and more than 26,000 people, the National Weight Control Registry, and Kevin Hall’s famous Biggest Loser study. They also get into why hunger hormones stay shifted for a year after dieting, why diet rigidity predicts failure better than any specific diet does, how dropout bias makes the published numbers look better than reality, and where GLP-1 medications fit in. Kylee talks about what metabolic adaptation looks like in her clinical practice. Both hosts explain why “define diet, define failure, define percent” is the only correct response at a bar.
The bottom line: diets don’t fail 95% of the time. With a serious definition of success, the real failure rate is somewhere between two-thirds and 90%, and that’s with intensive professional support. The real number is still not encouraging. But a statistic you can’t source isn’t evidence. It’s a bumper sticker.
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Nearly a third of Americans say they're trying to avoid gluten. About 1% have celiac disease. That gap is worth billions of dollars. In this episode, Zoë and Kylee dig into who the gluten-free diet was actually designed for, how it became a wellness identity, and what the research says about the rest of us.
We start with the science: what gluten is, why no human fully digests it (and why that's fine), and what celiac disease does to the gut. It's a serious autoimmune condition, and about 70% of cases go undiagnosed. Then we trace the gluten-free diet from its unlikely origin in the Dutch famine of World War II to the bestseller shelf, where Wheat Belly and Grain Brain blamed wheat for everything from belly fat to Alzheimer's. Along the way we ask whether modern wheat is really different, whether non-celiac gluten sensitivity is real, and why the culprit is often FODMAPs, not gluten. We also look at the blinded studies showing how powerfully expectation shapes symptoms.
Plus: why gluten-free labels make food seem healthier than it is, what that does to people who actually need the label, whether gluten-digesting enzyme pills work, what happened when cyclists were blinded to their diets, and the question everyone asks. Why can you eat all the bread you want in Italy and feel fine?

Multi-level marketing was invented to sell vitamins. Not adjacent to vitamins, not eventually pivoted to vitamins: the first MLM in America was a 1945 alfalfa-pill company that got raided by the FDA within two years, and everything since (Amway, Herbalife, the friend from high school who wants you to try a shake) is running the same play. In this episode, Zoë and Kylee trace how diet culture and direct selling grew up as one machine: the Nutrilite origin story, why supplements are the perfect MLM product, Herbalife's unmarked nutrition clubs and the mystery of why the shake tastes better in the store than at home, the billionaire slap fight that ended in a $200 million FTC settlement, and what the independent numbers say about who actually makes money (almost no one). Plus: Betsy DeVos's grandfather, the Tupperware party as feminist history, and why "boss babe" is doing unpaid PR for a system built to move money out of women's pockets.
If you got pulled in, or watched someone you love get pulled in, the math was rigged before anyone signed up. That's the whole point.
Full transcript, references, and research at yourdietsuckspodcast.com.
Support Your Diet Sucks on Patreon for monthly bonus episodes, weekly nutrition question threads with Kylee, members-only recipes and posts, and the archive: patreon.com/YourDietSucks
This episode is supported by:
rabbit: our title sponsor and the run apparel we actually wear. Use code SUMMERSNACKS10 for 10% off at runinrabbit.com
Tailwind Nutrition: endurance fuel and hydration that won't wreck your gut. Use code YOURDIET20 for 20% off at tailwindnutrition.com
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Somewhere in the last few years, cortisol became the answer to everything. Tired? Cortisol. Puffy? Cortisol. Gained weight, lost sleep, can't stop scrolling? Cortisol. A hormone you would die without got recast as the thing wrecking your face, and a $4.8 billion supplement economy showed up to fix it. This episode asks how that happened, and whether any of it is new.
It isn't. Zoë traces the lineage: Hans Selye, the self-described father of stress, who built the modern idea of stress from rat experiments in the 1930s and then quietly took tobacco industry money for decades while his research was used in court to argue that stress, not cigarettes, was making people sick. Then the 1998 arrival of "adrenal fatigue," a diagnosis coined by a naturopath in a self-published book, dismissed by the Endocrine Society, and treated with ground-up cow adrenal glands that are still on Amazon today. Cortisol panic is adrenal fatigue with a real hormone bolted on.
Kylee handles the real hormone. What the HPA axis actually does, why the morning spike is a sign your system works, why a cortisone shot and "the stress hormone" are the same molecule, and what a proper cortisol test looks like versus a $500 saliva kit with poor day-to-day reliability. We take on cortisol face (the clinical version is Cushing's, and you'd know), cortisol belly (the mechanism is real at pathological levels and unsupported for a stressed person with a normal curve), and the cortisol cocktail (orange juice and salt, which is an electrolyte drink in a wine glass).
For athletes, the internet has it backwards. A hard workout can briefly push cortisol into Cushing's range, then it's gone in hours. Real overtraining blunts the stress response rather than flooding it, and under-fueling raises baseline cortisol because your body reads a chronic deficit as an ongoing threat. Skipping intensity to protect your hormones protects nothing.
If cortisol is where a structural problem gets relocated onto an individual body, the gummy can't fix the job, the rent, or the toddler. Sleep, carbohydrates, and recovery still can.
rabbit: our title sponsor and the run apparel we actually wear. Use code SUMMERSNACKS10 for 10% off at runinrabbit.com
goodr: $25 polarized sunglasses that don't bounce, don't slip, and don't cost a race entry. Use code YDS at goodr.com/YDS for $10 off.
Tailwind Nutrition: endurance fuel and hydration that won't wreck your gut. Use code YOURDIET20 for 20% off at tailwindnutrition.com
Microcosm Coaching: evidence-based run coaching from humans, not algorithms. Book a consultation at microcosm-coaching.com