Sex and Psychology Podcast

Interest in kink is on the rise, and a growing number of people are curious about exploring it in the bedroom. But what does it actually take to be good at BDSM? While you might think it's all about mastering techniques like bondage or flogging, being a skilled kink partner involves so much more than that. In this episode, we discuss how being a good kink partner is also about communication, creativity, emotional awareness, and knowing how to create experiences that are mutually pleasurable.
I am joined once again by Shelby Devlin, a sex and intimacy coach, educator, and author specializing in BDSM, kink, and fetish. With over twenty years of experience in the BDSM community, she blends academic expertise with hands-on practice as a coach and instructor at the Somatica Institute. She is author of the new book The Pleasure Protocol: A Contemporary Guide to BDSM.
Some of the specific topics we cover include:
How can people distinguish between kinks they simply enjoy fantasizing about and those they’d actually enjoy in real life?
What can people who are sexually inexperienced learn from kink?
How can BDSM negotiations become part of the erotic experience?
What should you do when someone’s words and body language send conflicting signals?
How can people make BDSM more exciting and satisfying?
You can check out Shelby's website to learn more.
Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.
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Thank you to our sponsors! 
Level-up your bedroom skills with Beducated. Featuring more than 150 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Kick off your journey by taking Beducated’s Quiz to get your personalized roadmap to sexual happiness at https://beducate.me/lehmiller
For a limited time, get 20% off your entire order at loveunlimited.com/justin with code JUSTIN. 90 day love it guarantee on every order.
Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.
Your sex life deserves an upgrade. Harder. Faster. Thicker. Faster-acting. Longer-lasting. Five benefits. One dose. Head to rugiet.com/lehmiller to take the quiz and see if Rugiet Ready is right for you and use coupon code LEHMILLER for 15% off your first order.
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Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.
Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!
Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

BDSM has become increasingly visible in popular culture, but how much do people really understand about dominance and submission? Being dominant doesn't necessarily mean being aggressive or controlling, just as being submissive doesn't mean being weak or powerless. In fact, healthy power exchange often looks very different from what we see in the media. In this episode, we're separating fact from fiction and exploring the real psychology of kink.
My guest is Shelby Devlin, a sex and intimacy coach, educator, and author specializing in BDSM, kink, and fetish. With over twenty years of experience in the BDSM community, she blends academic expertise with hands-on practice as a coach and instructor at the Somatica Institute. She is author of the new book The Pleasure Protocol: A Contemporary Guide to BDSM.
Some of the specific topics we cover include:
What does popular culture get wrong about kink?
What separates a skilled dominant from someone who simply wants control?
Why might highly independent people find sexual submission appealing?
How can kink provide a space for exploring gender identity and roles?
What are the warning signs that someone is using BDSM as a cover for abuse?
You can check out Shelby's website to learn more.
Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.
***
Thank you to our sponsors! 
For a limited time, get 20% off your entire order at loveunlimited.com/justin with code JUSTIN. 90 day love it guarantee on every order.
Unspeakable Things is an adult card game designed for couples who already have a great sex life, but are looking to turn up the heat and explore new territory together. Ready to find out just how adventurous you and your partner can get? Head to https://playunspeakablethings.com/justin and use code JUSTIN for 10% off your order.
If you're looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html 
***
Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.
Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!
Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest (credit: Alyssa Keys).

For something that so many of us enjoy doing, sex can be surprisingly difficult to talk about. We might feel comfortable getting naked with a partner but struggle to tell them what we want, what we don't enjoy, or how we're really feeling. And when we avoid these conversations, it can lay the basis for misunderstanding and conflict, while also limiting opportunities for mutual pleasure. In this episode, we're exploring why sexual communication can feel so vulnerable, as well as how to become someone your partner feels safe opening up to.
I am joined once again by Shafia Zaloom, a health educator, consultant, and author whose work centers on human development, community building, ethics and social justice. She is the author of Sex, Teens, and Everything in Between as well as the new book Getting Real About Sex Ed: What Today’s Students Need.
Some of the specific topics we cover include:
What makes talking about sex uniquely intimidating?
How can we become more approachable and supportive sexual partners?
Why is it important to go beyond binary, yes/no models of sexual consent?
How can we become more confident sexual communicators?
You can check our Shafia's website to learn more about what she's working on.
Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.
***
Thank you to our sponsors! 
Your sex life deserves an upgrade. Harder. Faster. Thicker. Faster-acting. Longer-lasting. Five benefits. One dose. Head to rugiet.com/lehmiller to take the quiz and see if Rugiet Ready is right for you and use coupon code LEHMILLER for 15% off your first order.
Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.
If you're ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it's time to check out Drive Boost. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. 
Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.
Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!
Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Most of us spend years learning about sex before we ever have it. We absorb messages from our families, friends, schools, pornography, and popular culture about what sex is supposed to look like and how we're supposed to behave. But what if some of those lessons are actually setting us up for disappointment? What if the way we're taught about sex is making it harder to have healthy, pleasurable, and satisfying relationships?
My guest is Shafia Zaloom, a health educator, consultant, and author whose work centers on human development, community building, ethics and social justice. She is the author of Sex, Teens, and Everything in Between as well as the new book Getting Real About Sex Ed: What Today’s Students Need.
Some of the specific topics we cover include:
How do the messages we receive about sex growing up shape our sexual relationships as adults?
What are some of the most influential lessons about sex we learn outside the classroom?
What unrealistic expectations can pornography create about sex?
How can we unlearn harmful sexual messages and develop healthier expectations?
You can check our Shafia's website to learn more about what she's working on.
Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.
***
Thank you to our sponsors! 
If you’re ready to make passion a priority, see what Arya can do for you. Right now, Arya is offering our listeners $10 off your first month at getarya.com/JUSTIN. This offer is only for our podcast listeners so use my link to get this discount.
If you're ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it's time to check out Drive Boost. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. 
If you're looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html 
***
Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.
Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!
Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A lot of men feel pressure to perform in the bedroom. They worry about getting and maintaining erections, lasting long enough, and satisfying their partners. But these concerns can sometimes get in the way of the very thing they're trying to achieve, which is a pleasurable and satisfying sex life. So what does it actually mean to be good at sex? In this episode, we're going to explore practical, science-based strategies for maintaining an active and satisfying sex life as you age.
I am joined once again by Dr. Rena Malik, a board-certified urologist, pelvic surgeon, and sexual health expert whose educational videos have received over half a billion views. She is author of the new book, The Hard Truth, which answers the questions men are often too embarrassed to ask in the doctor’s office when it comes to improving their health and sex lives.  
Some of the specific topics we cover include:
What are the most common causes of erectile difficulties at different ages?
What are the most effective treatment options for men who are struggling with ED?
What can you do if you feel like you don't last long enough in bed?
How can a man tell whether he has low testosterone?
How can men maintain and improve sexual functioning as they get older?
You can check out Rena's Linktree to find out more about her work.
Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.
***
Thank you to our sponsors! 
Level-up your bedroom skills with Beducated. Featuring more than 150 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Kick off your journey by taking Beducated’s Quiz to get your personalized roadmap to sexual happiness at https://beducate.me/lehmiller
For a limited time, get 20% off your entire order at loveunlimited.com/justin with code JUSTIN. 90 day love it guarantee on every order.
Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.
***
Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.
Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!
Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.